Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you,

And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you

 For the LORD is a God of justice;

How blessed are all those who long for Him.

—Isaiah 30:18

Tog is die HERE gretig om julle genadig te wees,

en wil Hy hom oor julle ontferm:

Die HERE is ‘n God wat reg laat geskied,

en dit gaan goed met elkeen wat op Hom vertrou

—Jesaja 30:18 

The key message to us in this opening verse is something I NEVER even noticed before. For over a year, every single day, I have read this verse but its true message had eluded me. It was not until I came to the place where I was able to say (and walk out in my life)—“You are all I need Jesus!” Its message? How blessed are those who LONG for Him!  

Die sleutel boodskap aan ons in hierdie opening vers is iets wat ek NOOIT voorheen agter gekom het nie. Vir meer as ‘n jaar het ek hierdie vers elke liewe dag gelees, ek het hierdie vers gelees maar die ware boodskap het my ontwyk. Dit was nie tot ek op ‘n plek gekom het waar ek in staat was om te sê (en in my eie lewe toe te pas)— “Jy, is al wat ek nodig het Jesus!” Die boodskap? Hoe geseënd is die wat GRETIG is vir Hom. 

Earlier on in this new journey, I had noticed that it says that He was waiting to have compassion, waiting to be gracious and even waiting to act, on our behalf, as a God of justice, but I never understood what He was waiting for—but now I know.

Vroeër op hierdie nuwe reis, het ek agter gekom dat dit sê Hy wag om deernis vir ons te hê, wag om genadig te wees en wag om om ons onthalwe op te tree, as ‘n God wat reg laat geskied, maar ek het nooit verstaan waarvoor Hy gewag het nie—maar nou weet ek. 

Our precious Bridegroom is waiting for us to also long and yearn for only Him! But instead, we long and yearn for someone or something else. We are unfaithful with our affections as our Beloved continues to allure us, to speak kindly to us, and does all that He can to remove the Baals (other gods we have put on an altar in our hearts) from our mouths and hearts. (Hosea 2:13–15).

Ons kosbare Bruidegom wag vir ons om ook gretig te wees en te hunker  na Hom alleen! Maar in plaas daarvan, smag en hunker ons vir iets of iemand anders. Ons is ontrou met ons bemindelikheid soos ons Beminde voort gaan om ons te bekoor, en vriendelik met ons te praat, en doen alles wat Hy kan om die Baäls (ander gode wat ons op die altaar van ons harte geplaas het) van ons monde en harte te verwyder. (Hosea 2:13-15).  

In our society, the greatest god among women (from a young teen to an older woman) is their obsession with men. Young and old, never married, married, separated or divorced: women want and believe that they need and must have—a man in their life. The feminists chose their cure for this obsession by hating men and also trying to be like men, all so that they would not have this desire for a man nor be as vulnerable as women seem to be to men. This, however, did not solve the problem, because they did not go to the root or source of their dilemma.

In ons samelewing, is die grootste God tussen vrouens (van ‘n jong tiener tot ‘n ouer vrou) haar obsessie met mans. Jonk en oud, nooit getroud, getroud, uitmekaar of geskei: vrouens wil hê en glo dat hulle nodig het en moet hê— ‘n man in hulle lewe. Die feministe kies hulle geneesmiddel vir hierdie obsessie deur mans te haat en ook om te probeer om soos mans te wees, alles sodat hulle nie hierdie begeerte vir ‘n man sal hê nie of as kwesbaar wees soos wat vrouens lyk vir mans. Dit, egter, het nie die probleem opgelos nie, omdat hulle nie na die wortel of bron van hulle dilemma gegaan het nie.

Women were created to long and yearn for just One. It is when Eve sinned that she was cursed, “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you’” (Genesis 3:16). Not only did Jesus break the curse of sin ruling us, He broke every curse once we believed. As women we no longer need to suffer pain in childbirth (please read Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize), nor do we need to long and yearn for a man, or any person who “doesn’t have it” like we learned in the last chapter.

Vrouens was ontwerp om te hunker en smag vir net Een. Dit is toe Eva gesondig het dat sy vervloek was, “Vir die vrou het die Here God gesê: “Ek sal jou baie swaar laat kry met jou swangerskappe: met pyn sal jy kinders in die wêreld bring. Na jou man sal jy hunker, en hy sal oor jou heers.”’(Genesis 3:16). Nie alleen het Jesus die vloek van sonde wat oor ons heers gebreek nie, Hy het elke vloek gebreek toe ons geglo het. As vrouens hoef ons nie meer te ly gedurende kindergeboorte nie (lees asseblief Supernatural Childbirth DEUR Jackie Mize), nog minder hoef ons te smag en hunker na ‘n man, of enige ander persoon wie “dit nie het nie” soos ons in die laaste hoofstuk geleer het.  

Instead, when we choose to turn our passion and thirst for the One who created us, and become His bride, then we will be filled with good things, all good things, since we are truly—His—His faithful bride. But sadly few women have reached this place of complete delight for Him. Instead, they chase after what they believe will bring them happiness. Remember in Psalm 37:4 it says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”?

In plaas daarvan, wanneer ons verkies om ons passie en dors vir die Een wie ons ontwerp het, en Sy bruid word, dan sal ons met goeie dinge gevul word, alle goeie dinge, aangesien ons werklik—Sy—getroue bruid is. Maar treurig het baie min vrouens hierdie plek van volkome genot vir Hom bereik. In plaas daarvan, jaag hulle agter wat hulle glo sal hulle geluk bring. Onthou in Psalm 37:4 sê dit, “Vind jou vreugde in die Here, en Hy sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer”? 

Whether it is a young teenage girl who’s missing her boyfriend or a wife who is separated from her husband (who has left her or she left him and now regrets it), there is an obsession of having a man that makes us, as women, especially vulnerable and prey to pain, rejection, suffering, loneliness, and the list goes on. The real tragedy is that the happiness that women believe will turn their lives around, which they believe is found in having a man, doesn’t even exist.

Of dit ‘n jong tiener dogter is wat haar kêrel mis of ‘n vrou wat van haar man afgesonder is (wie haar verlaat het of sy hom verlaat het en nou is sy spyt), daar is ‘n obsessie om ‘n man te hê wat ons, as vrouens, spesiaal kwesbaar en prooi maak vir pyn, verwerping, lyding, eensaamheid, en die lys gaan aan. Die ware tragedie is dat die geluk wat vrouens glo hulle lewens sal omkeer, wat hulle glo gevind word om ‘n man te hê, bestaan nie eens nie. 

We women, even though we are grown and no longer children, believe in fairy-tale romances. We read the stories as little girls and later as young women in romance novels. We watch make-believe couples in movies and on television, and even sing to songs about love. But these kinds of romances do not exist, any more than the stories of Snow White or Cinderella exist.

Ons vrouens, selfs al is ons volwasse en nie meer kinders nie, glo in sprokies-verhaal romanse. Ons lees die stories as klein dogtertjies en later as jong vrouens in romantiese verhale. Ons kyk paartjies wat voorgee in flieks en op televisie, en sing saam liedjies oor liefde. Maar hierdie soort romanse bestaan nie, niks meer as die stories van Sneeuwitjie of Cinderella bestaan.  

There is only one real love story and that is what is found in the Bible and in our Creator our Beloved.

God created every woman to yearn for the kind of love that we read about as little girls— but it can NEVER be filled with human love. The kind of love we need could only be fulfilled with His love, the agape and unconditional love that He proved for us at Calvary. Nothing else will satisfy us, let alone make our hearts soar.

Daar is net een ware liefdes verhaal en dit is wat in die Bybel gevind word en in ons Skepper en ons Beminde.

God het elke vrou ontwerp om te smag na die soort liefde waaroor ons lees as klein dogtertjies—maar dit kan NOOIT met menslike liefde gevul word nie. Die soort liefde wat ons nodig het kan net vervul word met Sy liefde, die agape en onvoorwaardelike liefde wat Hy aan ons bewys het by Kruisberg. Niks anders sal ons bevredig nie, nog minder ons harte maak sweef.  

Over the course of this year, while meeting many church missionaries and even RMI members who live in other parts of the world, I have seen that most women have tears or longing for their husbands, but even as believers, not that same longing for their Bridegroom. When women speak about their husbands, even the most professional and powerful women, they are immediately reduced to broken, tearful females who are falling apart. These women long for a person who actually loathes them! It is this sort of pathetic female that the feminist movement has gained such widespread appeal with today’s women. This kind of yearning is nothing but tragic. To me, it’s heartbreaking. Now there are young girls who choose to stay in abusive relationships after watching their mother do the same. 

Gedurende die afgelope jaar, terwyl ek baie kerk sendelinge en selfs HMI lidmate ontmoet het wat in ander dele van die wêreld bly, het ek gesien dat meeste vrouens trane van hunkering vir hulle mans het, maar selfs as gelowiges, nie dieselfde hunkering vir hulle Bruidegom nie. Wanneer vrouens oor hulle mans praat, selfs die mees professionele en invloedryke  vrouens, word hulle onmiddelik gedryf na gebroke tranerige vroumense wat uitmekaar val. Hierdie vrouens hunker na ‘n persoon wat hulle eintlik verafsku! Dit is hierdie soort patetiese vroumense wat veroorsaak dat die feministiese beweging soveel wydgespryde ingang vind met vandag se vrouens. Hierdie soort hunkering is niks meer as tragies nie. Vir my, is dit hart verskeurend. Nou daar is jong meisies wat verkies om in abusiewelike verhoudings te bly nadat hulle geyk het hoe hulle moeders dieselfde doen. 

Yet the answer is not to leave a marriage with an abusive man, but to instead find a Lover. The Man who will protect her, which I have heard happens again and again because He is faithful! On the other hand, I do tell young girls I meet to never settle for a man who will not cherish them, when I am able to share my own testimony.

Tog is die antwoord nie om ‘n huwelik met ‘n abusiewelike man te los nie, maar om in plaas daarvan ‘n Minnaar te vind. Die Man wat jou sal beskerm, wat ek gehoor het gebeur weer en weer  want Hy is betroubaar! Aan die ander hand, sê ek vir jong meisies wat ek ontmoet om nooit vir lief te neem met ‘n man wat hulle nie sal koester nie, wanneer ek in staat is om my eie getuienis te deel.

As believers, we need to turn away from the horrible obsession we have for men by turning our hearts and our passion for more of His Love, to the One who is able to heal our broken hearts. The women who have been rejected, “‘For the Lord has called you, like a women forsaken and grieved in spirit, even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,’ says your God,” need to not only hear this lesson but see it in our own lives.

As gelowiges, moet ons weg keer van die aaklige obsessies wat ons het vir mans deur ons harte en ons passie vir meer van Sy Liefde te keer die Een wat in staat is om ons gebroke harte te genees. Die vrouens wat verwerp is, “‘Jy is ‘n verstote en bitter bedroefde vou, maar die Here roep jou terug, want hoe kan ‘n man sy eie vrou vergeet? sê jou God,”moet nie net hierdie les hoor nie maar dit in ons eie lewens sien.  

Only when we turn to Him will we say, “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7). When we can all hear, “The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come!’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost,” (Revelation 22:17) only then will we truly see what has been waiting and prepared for us who love Him.

Net wanneer ons na Hom toe keer sal ons sê, “Laat ons bly wees en juig en aan Hom die eer gee, want die bruilof van die Lam het aangebreek, en sy bruid het haar daarvoor gereed gemaak” (Die Openbaring 22:17). Wanneer ons almal kan hoor, “Die Gees en die bruid sê: Kom!’’ En elkeen wat dors het, moet kom; elkeen wat die water van die lewe wil hê, moet dit kom kry, verniet,” (Die Openbaring 22:17) net dan sal ons werklik sien waarvoor Hy gewag het en vir ons wat Hom lief het voorberei het.

When we, as believers, exhibit the kind of joy that He alone will give us, which follows from the commitment and faithfulness of wanting the Lord only, we will be capable of living a life and display a face that glows like a beacon in an ever darkening world. It is this kind of life that will draw every woman who is living in continuous and endless storms in their lives to want and yearn for what we possess, His love.

Wanneer ons, as gelowiges, die soort vreugde uitbeeld wat Hy alleen ons kan gee, wat volg deur die toewyding en betroubaarheid om net die Here alleenlik te wil hê, sal ons in staat wees om ‘n lewe te lei en ‘n gesig uit te beeld wat gloei soos ‘n baken in ‘n ewige donker wêreld. Dit is hierdie soort lewe wat elke vrou wat in ‘n twisgierige en aanhoudende storm in hulle lewens leef sal aanlok om meer van Sy Liefde, te wil hê en na hunker.  

It is with unbelievable joy to see that many of us who discovered the ministry Erin founded, who are now able to focus on encouraging each other, move up even higher to this call, “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). Once passionate for restoration and in following the principles that lead to restoration, we are each now moving to this higher calling—only after becoming passionate for One only. Many women who find RMI confess they are no longer seeking restoration, but are instead pursuing the Lord only! And most women, at this point, result in being restored; yet some are not. And, I believe, some are not restored due to them needing much more healing. 

Dit is met ongelooflike vreugde om te sien dat baie van ons wat die ministerie wat Erin gegrondves het ontdek het, wie nou in staat is om te fokus en mekaar aan te moedig, selfs hoër op beweeg na hierdie roeping, “ op ‘n tyd soos hierdie” (Ester 4:14). Sodra ons passievol is vir herstel en die beginsels wat tot herstel lei volg, beweeg elkeen en van ons na Sy hoër roeping—alleenlik na ons passievol vir die Een alleen geword het. Baie vrouens wat HMI vind bieg dat hulle nie meer herstel wil hê nie, maar jaag die Here alleenlik na! En meeste vrouens, op hierdie stadium, word herstel; tog sommige nie. En, ek glo, sommige is nie herstel omdat hulle  meer genesing nodig het. 

Just recently I read a praise report from someone who needed tremendous healing from her past of being molested as a child. Most people can never get over this, yet this brave woman became His lover and bride, and was even able to forgive her perpetrator. Had she not been left alone, even after losing custody of her own children, I am convinced, that she would never have found the healing she needed and deserved! 

Net onlangs het ek ‘n lof verslag van iemand gelees wat ontsaglike genesing gevind het van haar verlede waar sy as kind molesteer was. Meeste mense kan nooit hieroor kom nie, tog het hierdie brawe vrou Sy beminde en bruid geword, en was selfs in staat om haar pleger te vergewe. Was sy nie alleen gelaat, selfs nadat sy toesig van haar eie kinders verloor het, is ek oortuig, dat sy nooit genesing sou gevind het wat sy nodig gehad het en verdien nie!    

For those who are restored, and are like me, you may be called to lose your restored life in order to begin caring for the souls of the men in our lives who are also in need of our Savior. These men need to look to the Lord and have their needs filled by Him, because just as men cannot fill our needs as women, so too, we women can never fill a man’s needs either. “‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it’” (Matthew16:25).

Vir die wat herstel is, en soos ek is, jy mag geroep word om jou herstelde lewe te verloor om jou in staat te stel om om te gee vir die siele van die mans in ons lewens wat ook ‘n Redder nodig het. Hierdie mans moet na die Here kyk om hulle behoeftes deur Hom gevul te hê,  omdat soos wat 

mans nie in ons behoeftes as vrouens kan vervul nie, so ook kan ons vrouens nooit in ‘n man se behoeftes vervul nie. “As iemand agter My aan wil kom, moet Hy homself verloën, sy kruis opneem en My volg, want wie sy lewe wil behou, sal dit verloor; maar wie sy lewe ter wille van My verloor, sal dit terugkry”’ (Matteus:16:25).

Once we each become the Lord’s bride, as His bride, we will radiate this love for everyone to see.

Sodra ons elkeen die Here se bruid word, as Sy bruid, sal ons hierdie liefde uitstraal vir almal om te sien. 

Testimony

Getuienis

While in an airport just a couple of days ago, the lady at the counter commented on my beautiful ring. Prior to my divorce, I had prayed about a ring to wear so men would know I’m not available and I eventually purchased a gorgeous ring that in the end, cost me nothing. But this is an entirely different testimony that I hope to share later; maybe later in the end of this book.

Terwyl ek ‘n paar dae terug by ‘n lughawe was, het die dame by die toonbank op my pragtige ring kommentaar gelewer. Voor my egskeiding,  het ek gebid oor n ring om te dra sodat mans kon weet dat ek nie beskikbaar is nie en ek het uiteindelik ‘n pragtige ring gekoop wat my op die ou einde niks gekos het nie. Maar dit is ‘n heeltemal verskillende getuienis wat ek hoop om later te deel; miskien later aan die einde van hierdie boek. 

The lady at the airport counter asked me if I was a “newlywed” because she looked down and saw the ring I was wearing was new. I said, “Well, sort of,” and I looked up and smiled. She then excitedly said she could tell right away that I was “madly in love” because my face just glowed! As I walked away, I felt as if my heart would burst from the joy and love that overflowed for the Lord due to His unlimited love He poured all over and through me. Then my mind jumped to the realization of how most women look and feel after a recent divorce—broken and aged, and again I wanted to share my newly found Lover with them.

Die dame by die lughawe toonbank het my gevra of ek “pas getroud” is omdat sy afgekyk het en gesien het dat die ring wat ek gedra het nuut was. Ek het gesê, “Wel, soort van,” en ek het opgekyk en geglimlag. Sy het opgewonde gesê dat sy dadelik kon sien dat ek “dol verlief” was omdat my gesig net gestraal het! Soos wat ek weg geloop het, het dit gevoel asof my hart wou bars van die vreugde en liefde van die Here wat oorvloei het as gevolg van Sy onbeperkte liefde wat Hy oor en deur my gestort het. Toe het my gedagtes gespring na die besef van hoe meeste vrouens lyk en voel na ‘n onlangse egskeiding—gebroke en verouderd, en weer wou ek my nuut gevonde Minnaar met hulle deel. 

For several weeks before I left to tour the northeast of the U.S.A., being sent by my church (for what feels to me like the honeymoon that I had only dreamed of), I had watched a series of shows on television whose goal it was to help make a woman look ten years younger. The show would always start out by showing pictures from the woman’s past (where she had once looked young and happy) and then they would ask what had happened that had made her look the way she looked now (downcast and old). Time and again, the woman said that it was due to “a painful divorce.” Each woman said that her dreams had been shattered when things didn’t turn out as she had planned. Precious one—they never do!

Vir verskeie weke voor ek weg is om die noord ooste van die V.S.A te toer, ek was deur my kerk gestuur (vir wat voel vir my gevoel het soos ‘n wittebrood waarvan ek net kon droom), ek het ‘n reeks vertonings op televisie gekyk wie se doelwit dit was om n vrou tien jaar jonger te laat lyk. Die vertoning het altyd begin deur fotos te wys uit die vrou se verlede (waar sy eens op ‘n tyd jonk en gelukkig gelyk het) en dan sou hulle vra wat het gebeur het wat veroorsaak het dat sy lyk soos sy nou lyk, teneeergedruk en oud). Keer op keer, sê die vrouens dat dit was as gevolg van ‘n “pynlike egskeiding.” Elke vrou het gesê dat haar drome verpletter was toe dinge nie uitgedraai het soos sy beplan het nie. Kosbare een—hulle doen nooit nie! 

Once again, God created us to need to be loved by One, and only One. And when we are unfaithful to Him, we end up with the very same broken life as if we were unfaithful in our earthly marriage and had become an adulteress. Things may seem fun and happy in the beginning, but later they always turn ugly—just as our marriage turned ugly because we longed for the wrong man. Then soon our countenance and appearance have also turned ugly, often due to bitterness rooted in unforgiveness, as we foolishly sought love from those who didn’t and simply “don’t have it.”

Weer eens, het God ons ontwerp om deur Een bemin te word, en net Een. En wanneer ons ontrou aan Hom is, eindig ons op met dieselfde gebroke lewe asof ons ontrou aan ons aardse huwelike is en ‘n owerspeelster geword het. Dinge mag dalk prettig en gelukkig lyk aan die begin, maar later draai dit altyd lelik—net soos ons huwelike lelik gedraai het omdat ons na die verkeerde man gehunker het. Toe gou het ons gelaat en voorkoms ook lelik gedraai, dikwels as gevolg van  bitterheid wat in onvergiffenis wortel geskiet het, soos wat ons soos ‘n dwaas liefde gesoek het van diegene wat dit eenvoudig “nie het nie.”    

Our pursuit, instead, needs to be for more of God and to become more intimate with our beloved Husband. To let Him be everything to us: Provider, Lover, Friend, Comforter, and Protector. It means moving from what we see, to the level of faith where we are living in the Spirit. For a woman who chooses this pursuit for her life, she will exchange her pain for joy and it will keep her immune to the ills, evils, and burdens of this world.

In plaas daarvan moet ons najaging, wees vir meer van God en om meer intiem te word met ons beminde Man. Om Hom toe te laat om alles vir ons te wees: Voorsiener, Minnaar, Vriend, Vertrooster, en Beskermer. Dit beteken om weg te beweeg van wat ons sien, tot die vlak van geloof waar ons in die Gees lewe. Omdat ‘n vrou wat hierdie najaging vir haar lewe kies, sal haar pyn vir vreugde verruil en dit sal haar immuun hou teen die siektes, boosheid, en laste van hierdie wêreld.     

If Jesus died to give us an Abundant Life, then where is it, dear one? Certainly not in the lives of most Christian women today! And our lives, our compulsive desire for “our man” breeds this obsession in our daughters and the young women in our lives who are watching. We prove, through our tears and through our conversations (that ALWAYS center around the man whom we hope and pray will someday love us), that the goal in life is for a man, instead of the Son of Man. For women who have been rejected or abandoned by their husband, restoration and reconciliation are all that they can think and usually all they talk about, and this consumes every ounce of their energy.

As Jesus gesterf het om ons die Oorvloedige Lewe te gee, dan, liewe een,  waar is dit? Sekerlik nie in die lewens van meeste Christene vandag nie! En ons lewens, ons kompulsiewe begeerte vir “ons man” kweek hierdie obsessie in ons dogters en die jong vrouens in ons lewens wat toekyk. Ons bewys, deur ons trane en deur ons gesprekke (wat ALTYD om die man senter wat ons hoop en bid ons eendag sal liefhê), dat die doel in die lewe is vir ‘n man, in plaas van die Menseseun. Vir vrouens wat verwerp of verlate is deur hulle mans, is herstel en rekonsiliasie al waaraan hulle kan dink en gewoonlik al waaroor hulle praat, en dit verorber elke ons van hulle energie.    

Is it any wonder then why our Savior is still waiting on high to be gracious to us?

Is dit enige wonder hoekom ons Redder nog in die hoogtes wag om genadig aan ons te wees?

Dear reader, once you and I prove our love for our Beloved Bridegroom, then He will set the circumstances in our lives right to bless us in all areas of our lives: relationships (from your children to your siblings, parents, in-laws, husband and even in your workplace), finances (from always being short on funds to having even your heart’s desires, not just your needs met), health (because with joy comes feeling good and no longer being susceptible to disease; healing takes place in the spirit and in the body), and every other facet of our life.

Liewe leser, sodra jy en ek ons liefde vir ons Beminde Bruidegom wys, sal Hy die omstandighede in ons lewens reg stel om ons in alle gebiede van ons lewens te seën: verhoudings (vanaf jou kinders tot jou broers en susters, ouers, skoonouers, mans en selfs by jou werksplek), finansies (van altyd ‘n tekort van fondse te hê tot die begeertes van jou hart, nie net om in jou behoeftes te voldoen nie), gesondheid (omdat met vreugde kom goed voel en nie meer vatbaar te wees vir siektes; genesing vind plaas in die gees en in die liggaam), en elke ander faset van ons lewens.

No man in your life can do that! There is only One who has the power and resources to give us the Abundant Life as we truly become His beloved bride!

Geen man in jou lewe kan dit doen nie! Daar is net Een wie die krag en die bronne het om vir ons die Oorvloedige Lewe te gee soos wat ons werklik Sy beminde bruid word! 

How did I let go of this obsession? It was simply getting more intimate with the One who was right there, alluring and speaking kindly to me—just as He is alluring and speaking kindly to you! There is no formula to intimacy. Just like everything else, it is just something you ASK Him for. For me, I simply told the Lord that I wanted to be closer, closer than any human who had walked the face of the earth…but I didn’t know how, and I asked Him to do it. As a result of my simply asking, each day I continue to fall more and more in love with the Lover of my soul. I can see each day how He provides not just for my needs, but also for the desires of my heart!

Hoe het ek van hierdie obsessie laat gaan? Dit was eenvoudig deur meer intiem met die Een wat reg daar was te word, en verlokkend en vriendelik met my praat—net soos Hy verlokkend en vriendelik met jou praat!  Daar is geen formule tot intimiteit nie. Net soos alles, is dit iets waarvoor jy Hom moet VRA. Vir my, ek het eenvoudig vir die Here gesê dat ek nader, nader as enige mens wat op die aarde geloop het wou wees...maar ek het nie geweet hoe nie, en ek het Hom gevra om dit te doen. As ‘n resultaat van eenvoudig te vra, elke dag gaan ek voort om meer en meer verlief te wees op die Minnaar van my siel.  Ek kan elke dag sien hoe Hy nie net in my behoeftes voorsien nie, maar ook vir die begeertes van my hart!  

Another example was also while traveling. I spent a few days up in Canada in a beautiful resort, all alone, with my Beloved. He brought me there to rest from traveling to several cities in just one week. There I witnessed firsthand that He expected nothing from me, nothing but my love for Him. I didn’t spend my days reading my Bible or even praying. I didn’t go there to fast (though at home, I have recently been fasting almost every day, eating just an evening meal). All I did was be there to rest in Him and in His awesome love. When I watched a romance movie on my computer, I kept thanking Him that I was no longer in deception (believing that what I was watching was real), but was instead, enthralled with the feeling that I could have and experience only with Him, just as every woman could!

Nog ‘n voorbeeld was ook terwyl ek gereis het. Het ek ‘n paar dae in Kanada in ‘n pragtige vakansieplek gebly, heeltemal alleen, met my Beminde. Hy het my soontoe gebring om te rus van die gereisery na verskeie stede in net een week. Daar het ek eerstehands attesteer dat Hy niks van my verwag het nie, niks behalwe my liefde vir Hom nie. Ek het nie my dae gespandeer deur my Bybel te lees of selfs om te bid nie. Ek het nie soontoe gegaan om te vas nie (tog by die huis, het ek onlangs amper elke dag gevas, en nooit aandete geeet nie). Al wat ek daar gedoen het was om in Hom en in Sy ontsagwekkende liefde te rus, Toe ek ‘n romantiese fliek op my rekenaar gekyk het, het ek Hom aanhoudend bedank dat ek nie meer in desepsie was nie (om te glo dat wat ek besig was om te kyk waar was), maar in plaas daarvan, verslaaf aan die gevoel dat ek net ‘n ervaring met Hom kon hê, net soos elke vrou kon!

Beloved, we need to encourage every woman to move beyond her pain and help her find peace, and then move from that peace to utter joy—all due to knowing and experiencing Him. It is more than possible for each and every one of you to experience the same thing, especially if you are currently hurting or have been rejected. This means that we simply change our focus from the man in our life to the Son of Man and Lover of our soul. And as we begin pursing Him, we will find that men will begin pursuing us! But I will never look back. No man will ever win my heart again (only to break it and leave me wanting), not when there is One who laid down His life so I can live again!! Even a woman who is married must keep her heart for her Savior steadfast. This means her desires, and every secret of her heart, should be told to her heavenly Husband, not her earthly one.

Beminde, ons moet elke vrou aanmoedig om te duskant haar pyn te beweeg en haar help om vrede te vind, en dan van daardie vrede na uiterste vreugde te beweeg—alles omdat ons Hom ken en ervaar. Dit is meer as moontlik vir ieder en elk van julle om te ervaar spesiaal as jy huidig seer het of verwerp is. Dit beteken dat ons eenvoudig ons fokus verander van die man in ons lewe na die Seun van die Mens en Minnaar van ons siele. Soos wat ons Hom begin agternasit sal ons vind dat mans ons begin agternasit! Maar ek sal nooit terug kyk nie. Geen man sal ooit weer my hart wen nie (net om dit te breek en my ontbreek te los), nie wanneer daar die Een is wat Sy lewe vir my neergelê het sodat ek weer kon lewe nie!! Selfs ‘n vrou wat getroud is moet haar hart vir haar Redder standvastig hou. Dit beteken haar begeertes, en elke geheim van haar hart, moet aan haar hemele Man oorvertel word, nie haar aardse een nie.  

One of my recent conversations with my ex-husband had him, once again, pursuing me for reconciliation. Both he and I were surprised when I asked him how he thought that he could compete with what I now have with the Lord! He had nothing to say, and in my heart, I could see how right what I said was. No man on earth can compete with what you will have when you gain the intimacy, love, and protection that your Bridegroom will give you when you truly long and yearn for Him. And when our longing is for the right One, then a husband will long for us, and continue to do so. It’s not until a husband also longs for the only One who can fill his needs when he will experience peace and joy and the fulfillment most men lack.

Een van my onlangse gesprekke met my eks-man het homself, weer eens, gevind my agternasit vir rekonsiliasie. Beide hy en ek was verras toe ek hom gevra het hoe hy gedink het hy kon kompeteer met wat ek nou het met die Here! Hy het niks gehad om te sê nie, en in my hart, kon ek sien hoe reg ek was met wat ek gesê het.Geen man op aarde kan kompeteer met wat jy sal hê wanneer jy die intimiteit, liefde en beskerming win wat jou bruidegom jou sal gee wanneer jy werklik hunker en smag na Hom nie. En wanneer ons hunkering vir die regte Een is, dan sal ‘n man na ons hunker, en voort gaan om so te doen. Dit is nie totdat ‘n man hunker na die enigste Een wat in sy behoeftes kan vervul wat hy vrede en vreugde en die volvulheid sal ervaar wat meeste mans tekort skiet. 

This kind of love affair is a journey that begins with one step. All relationships are developed and grow based on the time and attention we give it. It may begin in reading your Bible, which are His love letters to you, or in singing love songs to Him. Though praise and worship songs are indeed wonderful, when you begin to move to love songs that foster intimacy, you are well on your way to a love affair that women will envy and will want to have too. There are many songs that are sung at Christian weddings that used to make my heart hurt; now these are the very songs that make my heart sing, knowing that I am loved and cherished for who I am by my Beloved.

Hierdie soort liefdesverhouding is ‘n reis wat begin met een tree. Alle verhoudings word ontwikkel en groei gebaseer op die tyd en aandag wat ons dit gee. Dit mag begin deur jou Bybel te lees, wat Sy liefdes briefies aan ons is, of om liefdes liedjies aan Hom te sing. Alhoewel lof en aanbiddings liedjies  wonderlik is, wanneer jy begin om te beweeg na liefdes liedjies wat intimiteit bevorder, is jy goed op pad na ‘n liefdesverhouding wat vrouens sal beny en ook sal wil hê. Daar is baie liedjies wat by Christelike troues gesing word wat my hart seer gemaak het; nou is dit dieselfde liedjies wat my hart maak sing, wetende dat ek bemin en gekoester word vir wie ek is deur my Beminde.

Neither you nor I need to be any better or look any differently than we do—there is such freedom in knowing that! God created us just as we are and He cannot love us any more if we acted more in line with what a Christian ought to be. His love is the perfect love that casts out all fear. Then with that fear gone, it leaves more room for Him, and it will begin to show on your face.

Nie jy of ek moet enigsins beter wees of anders lyk as wat ons doen nie—daar is soveel vryheid om dit te weet! God het ons ontwerp net soos wat ons is en Hy kan nie liewer wees vir ons as ons in lyn optree met wat ‘n Christen hoort te wees nie. Sy liefde is die perfekte liefde wat vrees verdryf. Dan met daardie vrees weg, los dit meer plek vir Hom, en dit sal begin om op jou gesig te wys.   

Let’s have no more tears for your (future, present or past) husband or ex or boyfriend, but let all your heart be for the One to whom you are betrothed as His beloved bride.

Kom ons stort geen meer trane vir jou toekoms nie (toekoms, hede of verlede) man of eks of kêrel, maar laat jou hart wees vir die Een aan wie jy verloof is as Sy beminde bruid.

Let’s put away the excitement for our earthly restoration, and focus on the relationship that we have right now with our true Husband—our Lord, Savior, and our Friend.

Kom ons sit weg die opgewondenheid vir ons aardse herstel, en fokus op die verhouding wat ons nou het met ons ware Man—ons Here, Redder, en Vriend.

Let’s have no more tears about love lost, but instead look to the future with Him. No longer in need of finding love or understanding, we can begin to live each day as the gift He has given to us .

Kom ons stort geen trane oor verlore liefde, maar kyk in plaas daarvan na die toekoms met Hom. Nie langer behoeftig om liefde of verstandhouding te vind nie, ons kan begin om elke dag te leef soos die geskenk wat Hy vir ons gegee het.  

For each of you who are hurting, fearful or lonely—you simply need more of His love. That’s it. There is nothing else that will solve every problem in your life except more of Him.

Vir elke een van julle wat seer het, vrees bevange of eensaam is—jy het eenvoudig meer van Sy liefde nodig. Dit is dit. Daar is niks anders wat elke probleem sal oplos in jou lewe behalwe meer van Hom nie.

Also if you have children, when they leave to visit their father, get excited because of how you’ll be able to spend more time with Him. Then, you won’t miss them anymore. 

Ook as jy kinders het, wanneer hulle vertrek om hulle pa te besoek, word opgewonde oor hoe jy meer tyd met Hom kan spandeer. Dan, sal jy hulle nie meer mis nie.

Testimony

Getuienis

When my children went to visit their father recently and to get to know the other woman more, I stopped myself from telling them that I would miss them. Instead I said, “Wow, you are going to have such a great time with Dad!” I told them that they never needed to worry about me, because they knew that I was all alone, u know how freeing this is for a child? Not to feel guilty for having a good time and not being burdened with how sad their mom is, all alone, at home?

Toe my kinders hulle Vader onlangs besoek het en om die ander vrou beter te leer ken. Het ek myself gekeer om vir hulle te sê dat ek hulle gaan mis. In plaas daarvan het ek gesê, “Wow julle gaan so ‘n wonderlike tyd hê saam julle Pa!” Ek het vir hulle gesê dat hulle hulle nooit oor my hoef te bekommer nie, omdat hulle geweet het ek was heeltemal alleen, weet julle hoe bevrydend dit vir ‘n kind is? Om nie skuldig te voel om ‘n goeie tyd te hê en nie gelas moet wees oor hoe treurig hulle ma is, heeltemal alleen, by die huis?  

You may wonder, too, if I worry about their exposure to their dads’ lifestyle now or the other woman in my ex-husband’s life (and her influence). The answer is “No.” I know that God promises that everything will work together for my good and the good of my children! That’s enough for me to not worry or give it another thought. If I believe His Word and His promise to me about salvation, then I can easily trust Him with everything in this life. And that leaves me to enjoy my life and live an abundant life.

Jy mag dalk ook wonder, as ek bekommerd is oor die bloot stelling van hulle vader se leefstyl nou of die ander vrou in my eks-man se lewe (en haar invloed) Is die antwoord “Nee." Ek weet dat God belowe dat alles saam  ten goede sal werk vir my en vir my kinders! Dit is genoeg vir my om nie bekommerd te wees of eens daaraan te dink nie. As ek op Sy Woord en Sy beloftes van redding glo, dan kan ek Hom maklik vertrou met enige iets in hierdie lewe. En dit los my om my lewe te geniet en die oorvloedige lewe te leef.   

Traveling for my church or as an ambassador for Erin’s ministry, while being away from my children for extended periods of time, brings concern from many who question my sanity and even my love for my children. Being gone half of every month is extreme, to be sure, but again God promised that He would bring good from everything I do. Not just because I am being obedient to where He is calling me, but even if I did accidentally mess up— He promised to bless me!! With that kind of assurance, why would any of us choose to worry when we can instead be joyful? And it’s also given my children ample time to be with their father who stays at our home while I am gone.

Deur vir my kerk te reis as ‘n ambassadeur vir Erin se ministerie, terwyl ek weg van my kinders af is vir verlengde periodes op ‘n slag, bring bekommernis van baie wat my verstandige gesondheid en my liefde vir my kinders bevraag teken. Deur vir die helfte van die maand weg te wees is verregaande, om seker te wees, maar weer het God belowe dat Hy die goede sal uitbring in alles wat ek doen. Nie net omdat ek gehoorsaam was tot waartoe Hy my geroep het nie, maar selfs al het ek per ongeluk ‘n gemors gemaak—het Hy belowe om my te seën. Met daardie soort versekering hoekom sou enige een van ons kies om bekommerd te wees wanneer ons eerder vreugdevol kan wees? En dit het ook my kinders volop tyd gegee om saam hulle vader te wees wat by die huis bly terwyl ek weg is.    

One bit of warning, be assured that the enemy will try his best to pour guilt all over your newly-found freedom with thoughts like: “You don’t really care about your children anymore!” Just cast those thoughts down. Instead, it is simply that your priorities are now straight and God is rewarding you with no more pain or worry. You may even hear this same thing from friends, family and coworkers. Just resist going backwards (by entertaining these thoughts) and use that time and energy to move up higher. 

Een klein waarskuwing, wees verseker dat die vyand sy beste sal probeer om skuld oor jou nuut-gevonde vryheid te gooi met gedagtes soos: “Jy gee regtig nie meer om vir jou kinders nie!” Vernietig daardie gedagtes. In plaas daarvan, is dit eenvoudig jou prioriteite wat nou reg is en God beloon jou met geen pyn en bekommernis. Jy mag selfs dieselfde van jou vriende, familie en medewerkers hoor. Staan dit tee om agteruit te gaan deur hierdie gedagtes te oorweeg) en gebruik die tyd en energie om selfs hoër op te beweeg.

After living this kind of life for only a few months, there is no way that I would ever take one step back. Instead, I have pledged my life to encouraging every woman in this world to say yes to God and to becoming the Lord’s bride. It is my prayer that this chapter, and the rest of this book, will spark something inside of you that will fan the flames of passion for the One who is whispering—“Marry me.”

Nadat ek hierdie soort lewe vir net ‘n paar maande gelewe het, is daar geen manier wat ek ooit een tree terug sal gee nie. In plaas daarvan, het ek my lewe gepleeg om elke vrou in hierdie wêreld aan te moedig om ja te sê vir God en om die Here se bruid te word. Dit is my gebed dat hierdie hoofstuk, en die res van die boek, iets binne jou sal laat opvlam wat die vlamme van passie vir die Een wat fluister— “Trou met my” sal aanwakker.