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Do you remember when I said on Week 10: “If you haven’t faced this situation, trust me, you will”?

Onthou jy toe ek in Week 10 gesê het: “As jy nie hierdie situasie in die gesig gestaar het nie, vertrou my jy sal”? 

After ministering for so long I have realized one thing—the enemy isn’t all that clever—so he uses the same bait that hooks most women.

Nadat ek vir so lank geminister het het ek een ding besef—die vyand is nie heeltemal so slim nie—so hy gebruik dieselfde aas wat meeste vrouens hak. 

Wanting to be loved by a man is something most women crave from an early age. And it is especially exaggerated when their father doesn’t love them as he was designed to do.

Om bemin te word deur ‘n man is iets waarna meeste vrouens van ‘n vroeë ouderdom af na hunker. En dit is spesifiek oordryf wanneer hulle vader hulle nie lief het soos wat hulle ontwerp was om te doen nie.

The Bible tells us that everyone is tempted in the same way, and this is true for women too. And even if you don’t entertain the sin of unfaithfulness (to an EH or your HH), the enemy will make you feel ashamed, convincing you that you caused whatever happened due to something you did.

Die Bybel sê vir ons dat almal op dieselfde manier versoek word, en dit is ook waar vir vrouens. En selfs as jy nie die sonde van ontrou (aan ‘n AM of jou HM) vermaak nie, sal die vyand jou verneder maak voel, en jou oortuig dat  watookal gebeur het veroorsaak was deur iets wat jy gedoen het.

Though this could be true, very often (if you’re far enough along your restoration journey and experienced His love), entertaining the desire for another man won’t happen. If you’re not that far along, and you still long for another man, I would encourage you to read and reread Who wants to be your Lover in Finding My Heavenly Husband. Now back to today’s topic…

Alhoewel dit waar mag wees, baie dikwels (as jy ver genoeg langs jou herstel reis is en Sy liefde ervaar het), om die die begeerte om ‘n ander man te hê te vermaak sal nie gebeur nie. As jy nie so ver oppad is nie, en jy nog steeds na ‘n ander man hunker, sal ek jou aanmoedig om te lees en weer te lees Wie jou Beminde wil wees in Hemelse Man. Nou terug na vandag se onderwerp...

It was when I wrote and later read again the portion regarding “bait and shame” and especially— “convincing you that you caused it to happen due to something you did” that I was instantly transported back in time. It was 2005 and I was visiting a few ministry members and friends in Colorado.

Dit was toe ek geskryf het en later  weer die deel gelees het aangaande “aas en skande” en spesifiek— “om jou te oorreed dat as gevolg van iets wat jy gedoen het dat jy dit veroorsaak het” wat ek oombliklik terug in tyd vervoer was. Dit  was 2005 en ek was in Kolorado op besoek aan ‘n paar lidmate en vriende.  

A member  I had never met, who was restored, had graciously invited me to stay way up in the mountains in a very small town. In a home that had been in her family for generations. May I say that I’ve never been so pampered nor felt so relaxed? And this may be what led to being where and when I first experienced snuggling up with Him. 

‘n Lidmaat wat ek nog nooit ontmoet het nie, wat herstel was, het my grasieus genooi om ver op in die berge in ‘n baie klein dorpie te kom bly. In ‘n huis wat al vir generasies lank in haar familie was. Mag ek sê dat ek nog nooit so gepamperlang was of so ontspanne gevoel het nie? En dit mag wees waar ek eers ervaar het om by Hom op te knuffel.

However, my going up in those mountains was more about what He was calling me to do for someone else rather than to simply bless me. But I didn’t realize it until much later.

Nietemin, deur op te gaan na die berge toe was het meer gegaan oor waarvoor  Hy my groep het om vir iemand anders te doen eerder as om my eenvoudig te seën. Maar ek het dit nie tot baie later besef nie.

While there in their very small mountain cottage, I could hear loud water rushing and I stopped to ask my hostess what/where it was. She explained it was the rushing water coming down from the mountain when the snow melted, so I continued and then asked her if there was any way I could see it. But only because I was looking away, I wasn’t able to see the horror that must have been written on her face, but I could instantly hear it in her voice. Hearing her panic, I immediately dismissed the idea, but only a little while later I found myself asking to see it, again.

Terwyl ek daar was in hulle baie klein landhuisie, kon ek harde water hoor wat toestroom en ek het gestop om my gasvrou te vra wat/waar dit was. Sy het verduidelik dat dit die stroom water was wat van die berg afkom wanneer die sneeu gesmelt het, so ek het voort gegaan en toe gevra of daar enige manier was wat ek dit kon sien. Maar net omdat ek weg gekyk het,  was ek nie in staat om die gruwel te sien wat op haar gesig moes verskyn het nie, maar ek kon dit dadelik in haar stem hoor. Deur haar paniek te hoor , het ek die idee onmiddellik laat gaan, maar net ‘n rukkie later het ek weer gevra om dit te sien.    

Honestly, it wasn’t until I took this to the Lord after berating myself for my stupidity by asking to see it again that I understood. I honestly thought there had to be something wrong with me because I kept bringing it up. And then the “Aha moment” happened, and I realized there had to be a reason He wanted her to go there with me.

Eerlik, dit was nie totdat ek dit na die Here toe geneem het nadat ek myself skrobbeer het vir my onnoselheid om dit weer te sien dat ek verstaan het. Ek het eerlik gedink dat daar iets verkeerd was met my omdat ek dit die heeltyd opgebring het. En toe het die “Aha” oomblik gebeur, en ek het besef dat daar ‘n rede was waarom Hy wou gehad het dat sy saam my soontoe moes kom.    

So later, while walking back from downtown, I spotted a path just up from the house, when I asked if that led to the river. When she nodded, saying nothing, I just felt led to walk up and turn onto the path. I wasn’t sure if my hostess was behind me or not, but I have to say, standing on that narrow bridge over the rushing water was magnificent and exhilarating!!

So later, oppad terug van die onderste dorp af, het ek ‘n paadjie raak gesien net op van die huis af, toe ek gevra het of dit na die rivier toe gelei het. Toe sy geknik het, en niks gesê het nie, het ek gelei gevoel om op te loop en in die paadjie in te draai. Ek was nie seker of my gasvrou agter my was of nie, maar ek moet sê, deur om op daardie nou brug te staan oor die toestromende water was manjifiek en verlewendigend!!  

 Very soon, however, I noticed my hostess at the foot of the bridge. A woman whom I had begun to love and who I could tell began to love me too due to how we both adored the Lord, our Husband. For several minutes she stood after noticing me, and then when I smiled and opened my arms, she walked towards me. Once on the bridge next to me, she broke down and sobbed, trembling, collapsing in my arms.

Baie gou, nietemin,  het ek my gasvrou by die voet van die brug gesien. ‘n Vrou vir wie ek begin lief geraak het en wat ek kon sien vir my begin lief geraak het omdat ons albei die Here adoreer het, ons Man. Vir verskeie minute het sy gestaan nadat sy my opgemerk het, en toe terwyl ek geglimlag het en my arms oopgemaak het, het sy na my toe geloop. Toe sy op die brug langs my was, het sy afgebreek en hewig begin huil, bewerig, het sy in my arms gesak.    

After crying it out, we made our way back to the house, and it was there that she began to open up and tell me how, when she was a teen, she had been raped. It was on that bridge that he lured her to a secluded place and grabbed her, dragging her to his car. I said nothing with my heart pounding, but kept listening carefully to her and also to the Lord who was sharing things with me at the same time in my head and heart. Things that I had never understood before and what is so incredibly profound.

Nadat sy uitgehuil was, het ons terug gestap huis toe, en dit was daar wat sy begin deel het oor hoe, toe sy ‘n tiener was, sy verkrag was. Dit was op daardie brug wat hy haar na ‘n afgeleë plek weggelok het en haar gegryp het, en na sy kar toe gesleep het. Ek het niks gesê met my hart wat wild klop, maar het aangehou om versigtig na haar te luister en ook na die Here wat besig was om op dieselfde tyd dinge met my in my hart en kop te deel. Dinge wat ek nooit voorheen verstaan het nie en wat so ongelooflik diepsinnig was.  

What this victim and most victims are left with is a feeling of guilt, falsely allowing the blame to fall and remain ON them.

Wat hierdie slagoffer en meeste slagoffers mee gelos was is ‘n gevoel van skuld, en wat vals toelaat dat die die skuld op hulle val en OP hulle bly. 

Over and over she told me “but I should have known!!” whenever I attempted to comfort her. However, as I relayed the events back to her, she slowly began to understand that there was no way she could have anticipated the trap he set: Someone told her that her best friend was there waiting for her and instead he was there waiting, hiding in the bushes on the other side.

Oor en oor het sy vir my gesê “maar ek moes geweet het!!” toe ek probeer het om haar te troos. Nietemin, soos wat ek die gebeure na haar toe terug oorgedra het, het sy stadig begin verstaan dat daar geen manier was dat sy die lokval kon antisipeer het wat hy vir haar gestel het nie: Iemand het vir haar vertel dat haar beste vriendin daar was en in plaas daarvan was hy daar in die bosse weggekruip en het hy gewag.   

So, if you’ve taken on guilt that isn’t yours, no matter how big or how small. And if you’ve unsuccessfully been unable to be set free from it. Then next week I will share MORE of this truth that is both amazing and profound—and why the enemy is able to continue to torment the VICTIM so that the person who has sinned seems unaffected.

So, as jy skuld aangeneem het wat nie joune is nie, maak nie saak hoe groot of hoe klein nie. En as jy onsuksesvol was om vrygestel te word daarvan. Dan sal ek volgende week MEER van hierdie waarheid deel wat beide ongelooflik en diepsinnig was—en hoekom die vyand in staat is om voort te gaan om die SLAGOFFER  te martel sodat die persoon wat gesondig het lyk asof hulle onaffekteer was. 

In the meantime, please STOP now (or make a date later) to selah what you’ve learned, in other words, meditate on everything. AND be sure that you just don’t think about what you’ve learned, but you set up a date with your Husband to be alone with Him and ASK Him to share with you how this message applies to you and anything else you need to ASK Him. Then sit quietly and listen ???? And keep your love alive by living like this daily.

Intussen, STOP asseblief nou (of maak ‘n datum later) om te sela wat jy geleer het, met ander woorde, mediteer op alles. EN wees seker dat jy nie net dink oor wat jy geleer het nie, maar stel n datum op om alleen saam jou Man te wees en Hom te VRA om met jou te deel hoe hierdie boodskap van toepassing is op jou en enigiets anders wat jy nodig het om Hom te VRA. Sit dan stil en luister ???? en en hou jou liefde lewendig deur daagliks so te lewe.