This week I’ve been think of one of my most used bible principles. The bible is full of hidden gems, so precious yet so obscure to most preachers who really never have experienced the sort of intimacy most of us, as brides have been blessed to experience. One such gem that is “totally life-changing” as one of my DIL loves to say. The gem is living with others in an understanding way. And though “others” can be either gender, I’ve primarily used it when dealing with other women in our lives (friends, sisters, aunts, coworkers, DIL, MIL, etc. etc. etc.) I do believe it also works when applied to men when He calls us to do so. Yet, I believe it applies primarily to women who are designed by our Creator as uniquely complicated due to being led, motivated and often controlled by our hearts.

Hierdie week het ek aan een van my mees gebruikte bybel beginsels gedink. Die bybel is vol van versteekte edelstene, so kosbaar tog so duister vir meeste priesters wie regtig nooit die soort intimiteit ervaar het wat meeste van ons, as bruide geseën was om te ervaar nie. En so ‘n edelsteen wat heeltemal “lewens-veranderd” is soos een van my skoondogters sou sê. Die edelsteen is om saam ander op ‘n verstaanbare manier te lewe. En, alhowel “ander” enige geslag kan wees het ek dit hoofsaaklik gebruik wanneer ek met ander vrouens in ons lewens gewerk het (vriendinne, susters, tannies, medewerksters, skoondogters, skoonmas, ens, ens, ens.) Ek glo ook dit werk wanneer dit op mans toegepas word wanneer Hy ons roep om dit te doen. Tog, ek glo dit is noodsaaklik van toepasing op vrouens wie ontwerp is deur ons Skepper as uniek ingewikkeld omdat ons gelei word, gemotiveer word en dikwels beheer word deur ons harte. 

How this works is simply this. Due to painful hurts, most women mask, press down or ignore pain which they then, often unconsciously or even sometimes intentionally cause them to hurt others. To hurt us. It’s with the most difficult women in your life that this principle, this gem, works so amazingly. And for this to work, you must have a strong intimacy with your HH, who plays the primary role in this principle.

Hoe dit werk is eenvoudig dit. As gevolg van pynlike seerkry, maskeer, onderdruk of ignoreer meeste vrouens die pyn wat hulle dan, dikwels onbewus of somtyds doelbewus veroorsaak om ander seer te maak. Om ons seer te maak. dit is met die mees moeilikste vrouens in jou lewe dat hierdie beginsel, hierdie edelsteen, so ongelooflik werk. En vir dit om te werk, moet jy ‘n sterk intimiteit met jou HM hê, wat die hoofsaaklike rol in die beginsel speel.

Years ago I found it really difficult to deal with one of my DILs and what I wanted was to really really loved her deeply. So I simply asked Him how He could make this happen. 

Jare gelede het ek dit regtig moeilik gevind om met een van my skoondogters te werk en wat ek wou gehad het was om haar regtig regtig innig lief te hê. So ek het Hom eenvoudig gevra hoe Hy dit kon maak gebeur.

Remember, He wants His brides to be like who we are One with, and He is the Man who gave up His live “while we were yet sinners.” Therefore, when someone is unkind or brash or even flings insult our way, due to His love for us, we can love them. Really love them and not “count their trespasses.” Love them as He wants us to do passing on His love to them. 

Onthou, Hy wil hê dat ons bruide moet wees soos met wie ons Een is, en Hy is die Man wat Sy lewe opgegee het “terwyl ons nog sondaars was” Daarom, wanneer iemand onvriendelik of vermetel is of selfs beledigings na ons kant toe gooi, as gevolg van Sy liefde vir ons, kan ons lief wees vir hulle. Regtig lief wees vir hulle en nie “hulle oortredings tel nie.” Lief wees soos wat  Hy wil hê ons moet doen en dan Sy liefde aan hulle oordra.

So when I asked Him to help me, what He did was this—He reminded me of this verse that is intended to be applied to a relationship with a woman.

So toe ek Hom vra om my te help, wat Hy gedoen het was dit—Hy het my herinner aan die vers wat bedoel is om toegepas te word met ‘n verhouding met ‘n vrou.

“...live [with her] in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life...” (1 Pet. 3:7).

“...bewys eer aan hulle as die swakker geslag wat saam met julle deel in die lewe as genadegawe…” (1 Pet. 3:7). 

Yes, this verse was primarily designed for husbands to love their wives, which we all know, can oftentimes be the most difficult feat imaginable for any man  But, this principle absolutely works when applied by anyone.

Tog, was hierdie vers hoofsaaklik ontwerp vir mans om hulle vrouens lief te hê, wat ons almal weet, kan dikwels die moeilikste kordaatstuk vir enige man wees maar, hierdie beginsel werk absoluut wanneer dit met enigiemand toegepas word.

As soon as I began to really want to deal with her in “an understanding way” is when He did the most extraordinary thing, He began to show me in my mind’s eye and heart all the many reasons to love her! First was how much I knew and witnessed time and again how much she loved my son. Almost like a movie playing, He showed me so many reasons to love her. Really and truly love her.

So gou as wat ek begin het om saam haar te werk op ‘n “verstandige wyse” is toe Hy die mees buitengewone ding gedoen het. Hy het vir my in my geestesoog en hart al die redes gewys om lief te wees vir haar! Eerste was hoeveel Hy geweet het en getuig het keer op keer hoe baie lief sy vir my seun was. Amper soos ‘n fliek wat speel, Hy het my so baie redes gewys om lief te wees vir haar. Haar regtig en werklik lief te hê.   

The next thing He did was to show me all the ways she’d been hurt growing up. Like all but one of my four DIL, her father had run off with an OW. There were many more things He showed me, times or things I knew about her, and even some things I didn’t really know, and what I knew caused her to react or act in ways that were less than lovable.

Die volgende ding wat Hy my gewys het was al die maniere wat sy seergemaak was terwyl so groot geword het. Soos almal behalwe een van vier my skoondogters, het hulle pa,s weggeloop met ‘n AV. Daar was baie ander dinge wat Hy my gewys het, tye en dinge wat ek van haar geweet het, en selfs sommige dinge wat ek nie regtig geweet het nie, en wat ek geweet het veroorsaak het dat sy op maniere reageer wat minder as liefdevol was.  

Soon after I shared this insight with Tara, from the principle to the specifics about her SIL, Tara, of course, instantly embraced and benefited from them the same way I had. And from that moment on—it’s been easy to love this special woman the way I knew He wanted us to love her.

Gou na ek hierdie insig met Tara gedeel het, van die beginsel af tot die spesisisiteit oor haar skoonsuster, het Tara, natuurlik, onmiddellik voordeel daaruit getrek en hulle omarm op dieselfde wyse as waarop ek het. En van daardie oomblik af— is dit maklik om vir hierdie spesiale vrou lief te wees op dieselfde wyse as wat Hy wou gehad het ons haar moes liefhê. 

Then, yes, of course, we excitedly began using this same principle with each and every other woman in our lives when faced with an insult or lashing out or painful interaction. It made loving others so much easier and unbelievably rewarding.

Toe, ja, natuurlik, het ons opgewonde dieselfde beginsel begin gebruik met ieder en elke ander vrou in ons lewens wanneer ons ‘n belediging in die gesig staar of ‘n uitbarsting of ‘n pynlike interaksie. Dit het om lief te wees vir ander baie makliker gemaak en ongelooflik belonend. 

Now for what it will not do.

Nou vir wat dit nie sal doen nie.

Does this mean you will never feel hurt by them? No. Insults hurt. But here’s how He uses it for good. By still allowing us to feel the pain of insults, first off, we remember. It helps us to remember how painful it is to hurt in order for us to have compassion for others. When we are far removed or never feel pain again, it’s impossible for us to continue to have empathy for others who are hurting. Secondly, it keeps us real. Religion and religious people are not real. They are falsely pious and this repulses the One who says, He “wept.” Our HH felt and feels our pain, therefore for us to love as He does, we too, continue to feel pain. And yet…

Beteken dit jy sal nooit seergemaak word deur hulle nie? Nee. Beledigings maak nog steeds seer. Maar hier is hoe Hy dit en goede gebruik het. Deur ons toe te laat om die pyn van bebeldigings te voel, eerstens, ons onthou. Dit help ons om te onthou hoe pynlik dit is om seer te kry vir ons om in staat te wees om deernis vir ander te hê. Wanneer ons ver verwyderd is of nooit weer pyn voel nie, is dit onmoontlik vir ons om voort te gaan  om empatie vir ander te hê wat seerkry. Tweedens, dit hou ons eg. Godsdiens en godsdienstige mense is nie eg nie. Hulle is valslik godsdienstig en dit verafsku die Een wat sê, Hy het “ geween.” Ons HM het en voel ons pyn, daarom vir ons om lief te hê soos Hy, moet ons ook, voort gaan om die pyn te voel. En tog...  

Just as you experience every day, the moment we go to Him in our pain, He is right there to comfort us. He shows us the situation with such wisdom and understanding as long as we ask and simply sit quietly to hear what He longs to say to us. This means that each encounter of pain we are asked to experience results in us walking away with an even deeper, more intimate, more loving relationship with Him than before He asked us to go through it. And this is another reason why we can always “smile at the future.”

Net soos wat jy elke dag ervaar, die oomblik wat ons na Hom toe gaan in ons pyn, is Hy reg daar om ons te troos. Hy wys vir ons die situasie met soveel wysheid en verstandhouding solank as wat ons vra en eenvoudig stilsit om te hoor waarna Hy hunker om vir ons te sê. Dit beteken dat elke ontmoeting van pyn word ons gevra om resultate in ons te ervaar om weg te loop met selfs ‘n dieper, meer intieme, meer liefdevolle verhouding met Hom as voor Hy ons gevra het om daardeur te gaan. En dit is nog ‘n rede waarom ons altyd  “geen kommer oor die toekoms” het nie. 

So when you are called to be slapped, and you turn the other cheek instinctively, and quite possibly turn it back again and again—times when He wants you to feel the sting of multiple blows from someone you love dearly (as He did with me which prompted this Living Lesson). You will come through it and experience the greatest high, due to the greatest Love imaginable.

So wanneer jy geroep word om geslaan te word, en jy instinktief die ander wang draai, en heel moontlik dit weer en weer terugdraai—tye wat Hy wil hê jy moet die pyn van veelvoudig houe van iemand vir wie jy innig liefhet voel (soos wat Hy met my gedoen het wat hierdie Lewende Les aangespoor het). Jy sal daardeur kom en die grootste hoogte ervaar, as gevolg van die grootste Liefde wat jy jou kan indink.   

Don’t be afraid to ask Him to help you through this principle. In this life we will have tribulation, everyone will. But what sets us apart as His bride is that we can actually benefit from those tribulations. Read each of these truths slowly…

Moet nie bang wees om Hom te vra om jou deur hierdie beginsel te help nie. In hierdie lewe sal ons dit moeilik hê, almal sal. Maar ons wat geroep is as Sy bruid kan eintlik voordeel trek uit hierdie moeilikhede. Lees elkeen van hierdie waarhede versigtig... 

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” KJV

Johannes 16:33 “ Dit sê Ek vir julle, sodat julle vrede kan vind in My. In die wêreld sal julle dit moeilik hê; maar hou moed: Ek het die wêreld klaar oorwin.” AFR 83

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” NASB

“Ek sê dit alles vir julle sodat julle vrede kan hê omdat julle aan My behoort. Die mense van die wêreld sal julle laat swaarkry, maar julle moenie moedeloos word nie. Ek het die wêreld klaar oorwin.” ABA

“I have told you these things so that you will be whole and at peace. In this world, you will be plagued with times of trouble, but you need not fear; I have triumphed over this corrupt world order." VOICE

“Ek sê hierdie dinge vir julle sodat julle in My rus en vrede kan vind. In die wêreld sal julle swaarkry beleef, maar skep moed: Ek het die wêreld reeds oorwin.”NLV

Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world, you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” MSG

“Ek vertel hierdie dinge vir julle met ‘n goeie rede. As my vriende kan julle maar rustig wees oor alles. Die ongelowiges sal alles wel vir julle probeer moeilik maak. Moenie dat hulle julle ontstel nie. Troos julle daaraan: Ek het bewys dat ek sterker is as enigiets of enigiemand in hierdie wêreld. Ek en niemand anders nie is die regte Wenner.”DB

"And everything I’ve taught you is so that the peace which is in me will be in you and will give you great confidence as you rest in me. For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!” TPT

“Dit het Ek vir julle gesê, dat julle in My vrede kan hê. In die wêreld sal julle verdrukking hê; maar hou goeie moed, Ek het die wêreld oorwin. AFR 53 

“Cheer up!” Jesus has taken away the power this world has to defeat us and has conquered it for us. Peace is resting in his victory."

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” NLT