One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the LORD 

all the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the LORD

And to meditate in His temple.

—Psalm 27:4

Net een ding het ek van die HERE gevra en dit sal ek najaag:

dat ek my hele lewe lank

in sy huis mag woon om sy goedheid te belewe

en daaroor na te dink in die tempel.

—Psalm 27:4 

In seeking the Lord for what to write in this final chapter, there were many principles I could have shared. Oh, how fitting that I would end up concluding with what matters in my life—Him and Him alone! Just One thing I have asked from the LORD . . . 

Deur die Here na te streef oor wat om in hierdie finale hoofstuk te skryf, was daar baie beginsels wat ek kon gedeel het. O, hoe gepas dat ek sou opeindig om af te sluit met wat saak maak in my lewe—Hy en Hy alleen! Net Een ding het ek van die HERE gevra . . .

Due to facing an onslaught of crises in my life, very often throughout the day I am surprised and yet increasingly filled with awe that instead of fear or panic or planning an escape, I instead feel this overwhelming passion for Him. So I inevitably ask the Lord to help me to somehow have the words to explain the total blessedness, sheer joy and incredible awesomeness of knowing Him from the moment I took Him as my Husband, since no one seems to really understand. Yet that’s to be expected, since I, too, had no clue whatsoever prior to my living it.

Aangesien ek nog ‘n aanval van krisisse in my lewe moes trotseer, baie dikwels gedurende die dag is ek verras en tog toenemend gevul met wonder dat in plaas van vrees of paniek of om ‘n ontsnapping te beplan, voel ek eerder hierdie oorweldigende passie vir Hom. So ek vra die Here onafwendbaar om my te help om op een of ander manier die woorde te hê om die totale geseëndheid, pure vreugde en ongelooflike ontsagwekkenheid om Hom te ken van die oomblik wat ek Hom as my Man geneem het, te verduidelik, aangesien niemand lyk asof hulle dit regtig verstaan nie. Tog dit is te verwagte, aangesien ek, ook, geen idee gehad het watookal voordat ek dit geleef het nie.  

Very often, especially lately, I stop to ponder how I used to think and feel about things. For instance, with my former husband’s wedding date just days away, I remember how I used to envy women who had godly husbands. You know, the same sort of woman who I know looked at me, since I once had a pastor for a husband before he walked away. So many women, I know, before everything in my life became public, told me they’d sit in their pew looking at me, longingly, while they’d be sitting next to their husband who wasn’t interested in spiritual matters or things pertaining to Him.  Looks, dear one, can be deceiving. Yet I actually did the very same thing, so I assume that’s why I got what I coveted. Thankfully, He’s so loving that He brings us through those valleys and still sees fit to bless us in spite of ourselves.

Baie dikwels, vernaam onlangs, stop en en dink ek na hoe ek in die verlede oor dinge gedink en gevoel het. By voorbeeld, met my vorige man se troudatum net dae weg, onthou ek hoe ek vrouens wat goddelike mans gehad het beny het. Jy weet, dieselfde soort vrou wat ek weet na my gekyk het, aangesien ek eens op ‘n tyd ‘n pastoor gehad het vir ‘n man voor hy weg geloop het. So baie vrouens, ek weet, voor enige iets in my lewe in die publiek openbaar was, het vir my gesê dat hulle in die kerk bankie gesit het en na my gekyk het, hunkerend, terwyl hulle langs hulle mans gesit het wie nie geinterresseerd was in spirituele sake nie of dinge wat Hom aangaan nie. Wat jy sien, kan misleidend wees. Tog het ek eintlik dieselfde ding gedoen, so ek neem aan dit is hoekom ek gekry het wat ek begeer het. Dankbaar, is Hy so liefdevol dat Hy ons deur daardie valleie bring en dit nog steeds gepas vind om ons te seën ten spyte van onsself. 

So, first let me say something I know you already know by now—don’t go by what you think you see. Many of those women whom you envy are in far worse shape than you are in. Like me, they have husbands who appear spiritual, are outwardly a spiritual giant, so other women envy us, and often say so publically, when in truth the man and our dream life is not as you imagine it to be. And because of the way you misunderstand her, she has compounded pain when she chooses to honor her “less than honorable” husband. We each must admit that no one knows what really goes on behind closed doors after a man (or woman) leaves the pulpit or after leading worship, or in the lives of those whom you watch on television. I know.

So, eers laat ek iets sê wat ek weet jy alreeds by nou weet—moet nie gaan by wat jy dink jy sien nie. Baie van daardie vrouens wie jy beny is erger daaraan af as wat jy is. Soos ek, het hulle mans wat spiritueel voorkom, en uitwaarts ‘n spirituele reus is, so ander vrouens beny ons, en sê dikwels is dit in die publiek, wanneer die waarheid is dat die man in ons droom wêreld nie is as wat jy jouself verbeel om te wees nie. En op die manier wat jy haar misverstaan, het sy pyn vermeerder toe sy verkies het om haar “minder as eerbare” man te te vereer. Ons moet elkeen erken dat niemand weet wat agter geslote deure aangaan nie, na ‘n man (of vrou) die preekstoel verlaat of na hulle die aanbidding leiers was nie, of in die lewens van die wat jy op televisie sien nie.

Yet, of course there are women who are blessed with incredible husbands, some who have even changed history. So I used to envy these women too. But now I know that if any woman knew the life that I lead right now, they would instead envy me! And what thrills me beyond belief and the totally unimaginable truth is that this life can be the same for each and every one of you! I am not the only bride whom He has called. Each and every of you has the very same opportunity to become His bride—no matter what your marital status, social status, physical stature, spiritual state, or mental capabilities. It makes me tear up knowing that He loves you just as you are and loves you, not in spite of, but because of your weaknesses! “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”—Awesome; simply awesome!

Tog, natuurlik is daar vrouens wat geseën is met ongelooflike mans, sommige wat geskiedenis verander het. So ek het hierdie vrouens ook beny. Maar nou weet ek dat as enige vrou weet van die lewe wat ek nou lei, sou hulle my eerder beny! En wat my opgewonde maak en ongelooflik is en die totale ondenkbare waarheid is is dat hierdie lewe dieselfde kan wees vir ieder en elk van julle! Ek is  nie die enigste bruid wie Hy geroep het nie. Ieder en elkeen van julle het dieselfde geleentheid om Sy bruid te word—maak nie saak wat jou huwelik status, sosiale status, fisiese statuur, of geestelike vermoëns is nie. Dit maak my trane in my oë kry omdat ek weet Hy is lief vir jou net soos wat jy is, en is lief vir jou nie ten spyte van, maar as gevolg van ons swakhede! “terwyl ons nog sondaars was, het Christus vir ons gesterf”—Ontsagwekkend; eenvoudig ontsagwekkend!  

When I used to work with Erin, back when her ministry was more of a “marriage restoration” ministry, she and I knew there was no guarantee that the woman who came looking for help would be able to follow the principles (to the letter) in order obtain a restored marriage. And worse, once it was restored, there were varying degrees of blessedness depending on the man who returned home. But now, this has all changed! The new call on my life and Erin’s focus has begun to focus on recruiting brides for our Beloved. Everyone (even men though it’s harder to wrap my head around) are called to be the bride for whom He is coming back for “that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:27). This means, each and every woman can simply trust Him, seek Him only, and everyone who desires to be loved and healed and happy can be! Nevertheless, this only happens when you and I are willing to let go and lose the life we had planned on. This is because He needs our whole heart to be free to then have it all.

Toe ek saam Erin gewerk het, toe haar ministerie meer van ‘n “huwelik herstel” was, het sy en ek geweet daar was geen waaborge dat die vrouens wat om hulp kom soek het in staat sou wees om die beginsels te volg nie (tot die letter) om in staat te wees om ‘n herstelde huwelik te kry nie. En erger, sodra dit herstel is, was daar verskillende grade van seëninge afhangende van die man wat teruggekeer het huis toe. Maar nou, het dit alles verander! Die nuwe roep op my lewe en Erin se fokus is om bruide vir ons Beminde te rekruteer. Almal (selfs mans al is dit moeilik om te glo) word geroep om die bruid te wees vir wie Hy terug kom wat “sodat Hy die kerk in volle heerlikheid by Hom kan neem, sonder vlek of rimpel of iets dergeliks, heilig en onberispelik” (Efesiërs 5:27). Dit beteken, ieder en elke vrou kan Hom eenvoudig vertrou, Hom nastreef, en almal wat begeer om bemin en genees en gelukkig te word kan wees! Nietemin, dit gebeur wanneer jy en ek gewillig is om te laat gaan en die lewe te verloor wat ons almal beplan het. Dit is hoekom Hy ons hele hart nodig het om vry te wees en dit alles te hê.    

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25).

“Want wie sy lewe wil behou, sal dit verloor; maar wie sy lewe ter wille van My verloor, sal dit terugkry” Matteus 16:25)

“The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34).

“Ook die ongetroude vroue en die jongmeisie gee aandag aan die dinge van die Here, om na liggaam en gees aan Hom toegewy te wees. Maar die getroude vrou gee ook aandag aan die dinge van die wêreld, aan hoe sy haar man kan behaag” (1 Korintiërs 7:34)

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this worldhow she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:34).

“Ook die ongetroude vrou en die jongmeisie gee aandag aan die dinge van die Here, om na liggaam en gees aan Hom toegewy te wees. Maar die getroude vrou gee ook aandag aan die dinge van die wêreld, aan hoe sy haar man kan behaag. Dit sê ek alles vir julle eie beswil. Ek wil julle nie aan bande lê nie, maar ek wil hê julle moet in eerbaarheid lewe en in onverdeelde toewyding aan die Here” (1 Korintiërs 7:34)

“Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalms 37:4).

“Vind jou vreude in die HERE; en Hy sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer” (Psalm 34:4)

When my life bottomed out about a year ago (with my husband divorcing me to marry someone else), it was the end of the life I had hoped and dreamed for most of my life. Yet, by losing my preplanned life, and opening my heart, I opened amazingly new and exciting experiences that changed my world. It’s my hope that you will have the courage to do the same and what I’ve shared will help change your life in the very same way. 

Toe my lewe omtrent ‘n jaar gelede in duie gestort het (met my man wat my skei en met iemand anders trou), was dit die einde van die lewe wat ek oor gehoop en gedroom het vir die meeste van my lewe. Tog, deur my vooraf beplande lewe te verloor, en my hart oop te maak, het ek ongelooflike nuwe en opwindende ervarings oopgemaak wat my wêreld verander het. Dit is my hoop dat jy die moed sal hê om dieselfde  te doen en wat ek gedeel het sal jou help om jou lewe te verander op dieselfde manier.

One amazing truth that I learned is that He never meant that we had to literally die to live in paradise, nor do we have to wait until He comes to get us as His bride. “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready” (Revelations19:7). Let’s be real, there are far too many women who are hurting horribly: abandoned, forsaken and grieved to think that this is the way we women were supposed to live until we die. The way we’ve been taught to believe is simply not correct! 

Een ongelooflike waarheid wat ek geleer het is dat Hy nooit bedoel het dat ons letterlik moet dood gaan om in paradys te lewe nie, nog minder hoef ons te wag totdat Hy kom om ons as Sy bruid te kry. “Laat ons bly wees en juig en aan Hom die eer gee, want die bruilof van die Lam het aangebreek, en sy bruid het haar daarvoor gereed gemaak” (Die Openbaring 19:7). Kom ons wees eerlik, daar is ver te veel vrouens wat aaklig seerkry: verlate, versake, en gegrief en om te dink dat dit die manier is wat vrouens moet lewe totdat hulle dood gaan. Die manier wat ons geleer is om te glo is eenvoudig nie korrek nie!

Jesus didn’t die so we could, one day, go to heaven. He laid His life down to set us free now, in every area of our lives; His blood and His resurrection changed it all and it was for now. This means that women who are ignorant to this truth will continue to perish in their lack of knowledge and hope. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge . . .” (Hosea 4:6). Unless we live our lives in such a way as to reflect what they too can have, and when asked we simply share our hearts that are overflowing with love!

Jesus het nie gesterf sodat ons, eendag hemel toe kan gaan nie. Hy het Sy lewe vir ons neergelê om ons nou vry te laat, in elke gebied van ons lewens; Sy bloed en Sy opstanding het dit alles verander en dit was vir nou. Dit beteken dat vrouens wat onwetend is tot hierdie waarheid sal voort gaan om onder te gaan in hulle tekort aan kennis en hoop. “ My volk gaan onder omdat hulle nie aan My toegewy is nie. Omdat jy jou taak om hulle aan My toe te wy, verwerp het. . . “ (Hosea 4:6), Tensy ons ons lewens op so manier lewe om te weerkaats wat hulle ook kan hê, en wanneer gevra ons eenvoudig ons harte deel wat met liefde oorvloei!   

He Is Making All Things New!

Hy Maak Alles Nuut!

This morning, I guess you could say that I came to the end of myself, or maybe it’s simply facing the end of my ministry as it was, or maybe it’s both. However, I am far from concerned, afraid, or any other negative emotion. I am simply excited to see what is about to happen. This morning when I woke up, and spoke to the Lord about it, He gave me a new revelation or principle. He told me that it takes us thanking Him, and being broken, in order for us to be blessed. 

Vanoggend, het ek, ek kan raai jy kan sê tot die einde van myself gekom, of miskien is dit omdat ek die einde van my ministerie soos wat dit was moes tegemoet sien, of miskien is dit albei. Nietemin, ek is ver van bekommerd, bang, of enige ander negatiewe emosie. Ek is eenvoudig opgewonde om te sien wat gaan gebeur. Vanoggend toe ek wakker word, het ek met die Here daaroor gepraat, Hy het vir my ‘n nuwe openbaring of beginsel gegee. Hy het vir my gesê dat dit neem om Hom te bedank, en gebroke te wees, om in staat te wees om geseën te word.  

“. . . and He took the seven loaves and the fish; and giving thanks, He broke them and started giving them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people” (Matthew 15:36).

“. . . Toe neem Hy die sewe brode en die visse en dank God daarvoor. Daarna het Hy die brood gebreek en dit aan die dissipels gegee, en hulle het dit aan die mense gegee” (Matteus 15:36).

“And He directed the people to sit down on the ground; and taking the seven loaves, He gave thanks and broke them, and started giving them to His disciples to serve to them, and they served them to the people” (Mark 8:6).

“Toe gee Hy die mense bevel om op die grond te sit. Nadat Hy die sewe brode geneem en God gedank het, het Hy dit gebreek en vir sy dissipels gegee om uit te deel, en hulle het dit aan die mense voorgesit” (Markus 8:6).

“And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me’” (Luke 22:19).

“Toe neem Hy brood, spreek die dankgebed uit, breek dit en gee dit vir hulle met die woorde: “Dit is my liggaam wat vir julle gegee word. Gebruik dit tot my gedagtenis’” (Lukas 22:19)

“Having said this, he took bread and gave thanks to God in the presence of all, and he broke it and began to eat” (Acts 27:35).

“Nadat Paulus dit gesê het, het hy brood geneem, God in die teenwoordigheid van almal gedank, dit gebreek en begin eet”(Handelinge 27:35).

“. . . and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me’” (1 Corinthians 11:24).

“. . . en, nadat Hy God daarvoor gedank het, het Hy dit gebreek en gesê: Dit is my liggaam; dit is vir júlle. Gebruik dit tot my gedagtenis’” (1 Korintiërs 11:24).

The only way to multiply, and the only way for His glory to appear, is when we give thanks and allow ourselves to be broken in order to feed those who are hungry for the truth, in order to heal those who are unloved.

Die enigste manier om te vermenigvuldig, en die enigste manier vir Sy glorie om te voorskyn te kom, is wanneer ons dankie sê en onsself toelaat om gebreek te word om ons in staat te stel om die wat honger is vir die waarheid te voer, en om in staat te wees om die wat onbemin voel te genees.

This morning, I had to face the fact that the way things LOOK is that my ministry within the church is going under. But we all know (or should know by now) that it is always darkest before the dawn; that to have a resurrection, there has to be a death; that without an enemy cornering you, there is no Red Sea to part. To encourage me further, the Lord had me read through the promises He had given me in Isaiah and Jeremiah, all the way through to Malachi. I cried buckets of tears (of joy) when I saw that 90 percent of those promises have already been fulfilled. Therefore, these new crises are simply what will catapult me to experience the fulfillment of the final 10 percent of the remaining promises, which often mean it’s when we will face our greatest trials. This is the reason why the Apostle Paul spoke so often to encourage his readers not to faint and to finish the race.

Vanoggend, moes ek trotseer hoe dinge GELYK het en dit is dat my ministerie binne die kerk besig was om onder te gaan. Maar ons almal weet (of behoort by nou te weet) dat dit altyd die donkerste is voor sonop; dat om ‘n opstanding te hê, moet daar ‘n dood wees; dat sonder enige vyand wat jou in die hoek vaskeer, is daar geen Rooi See om te skei nie. En om my verder aan te moedig, het die Here my laat lees deur die beloftes in Jesaja en Jeremia, al die pad deur na Maleagi toe. Ek het emmers vol trane gehuil (van vreugde) toe ek gesien het dat 90 persent van die beloftes alreeds vervul is. Daarom, hierdie nuwe krisisse is eenvoudig wat my sal katapult om die vervulling of die finale 10 persent van die oorblywende beloftes te ervaar, wat dikwels beteken dat ons ons grootste beproewing sal trotseer. Dit is die rede hoekom die Apostel Paul so dikwels gepraat het om sy lesers aan te moedig om nie afgemat te raak en om die reis te voltooi.   

No matter how things look, I want to let go and let everything be allowed to fail and to fall. Just as I have done in the past, I just give it all up and simply surrender it to the Lord. I told Him that it really doesn’t matter anyway, because He is all that I want and need, so I care little to nothing if I lose it all (even though my church ministry is my family’s only income, which means that the loss of my ministry means our home would be gone also)—dear Lord, you’re all that matters to me!

Maak nie saak hoe dinge lyk nie, ek wil laat gaan en alles toelaat om te faal en te val. Net soos ek in die verlede gedoen het, ek het dit net alles opgegee en eenvoudig dit aan die Here oorgegee. Ek het Hom gesê dat dit in elk geval nie saak maak nie, omdat Hy al is wat ek wil hê en nodig het, so ek gee min tot niks om as ek dit alles verloor nie (selfs la is my kerk ministerie my familie se enigste inkomste, wat beteken dat die verlies van die ministerie beteken ons huis sal ook weg wees)—liewe Here, jy is al wat vir my saak maak! 

It’s also not just about me. My children are all watching and waiting, and at the same time, they are looking (and commenting often) because their dad is who is currently prospering, while more and more of what I have or had is crumbling. Yet they know, and we remind each other that righteousness will, always and forever, play out in the end. This is the way God created the universe, so it is foolish for us to become anxious about what’s ahead, isn’t it? 

Dit gaan nie net oor my nie. My kinders hou almal dop en wag, en op dieselfde tyd, kyk hulle (en kommentaar dikwels) omdat hulle pa wie huidig vooruitgaan, terwyl meer en meer van wat ek het of gehad het besig is om te verkrummel. Tog weet hulle, en ons herinner mekaar dat geregtigheid sal, altyd en vir ewig, uitspeel op die ou einde. Dit is hoe God die heelal geskep het, so dit is dwaaslik vir ons om oor wat voorlê besorg te wees.   

“Thus says the LORD, ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant’” (Jeremiah 17:5–6).

“So sê die HERE: Daar rus ‘n vloek op die mens wat sy vertroue in mense stel, wat sy krag soek by sterflike mense en wat van My af wegdraai; hy is soos n kaal bossie in droë wêreld wat nooit water kry nie; ‘n bossie wat in ‘n klipwoestyn staan, in ‘n brak wêreld waar niemand woon nie’” (Jeremia 17:5-6).

The Plot Thickens

Dit Begin Al Ernstiger Lyk

Interestingly, my church ministry “apparently” crumbling is not the half of it, for what I am about to share will shake most of you. It’s been exactly two weeks ago today that I got an email from my FH that rocked my world. It was my “Abraham-Isaac-altar heart test.” It is only because of Him and His love for me that helped me to go through it with joy and without any trace of fear. I am amazed at how He has changed and transformed “Much-Afraid,” yep, that’s me!

Interessant, is my kerk ministerie wat “waarskynlik” verbrokkel nie die helfte daarvan nie, wat ek op die punt is om te deel sal meeste van julle ruk. Dit is presies twee weke gelde wat ek ‘n epos van my VM gekry het wat my wêreld geskud het. Dit was my “Abraham-Isak hart toets.” Dit is net as gevolg van Hom en Sy liefde vir my wat my gehelp het om daardeur te gaan met vreugde en sonder ‘n titseltjie vrees. Ek is verstom oor hoe Hy die “Baie-Bang” ek verander het en hervorm het, ja dit is ek!

The email came on what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary, which forced me to face a couple of things that I knew I could possibly (no, I guess I knew it would be a probability) be facing in the future. The attack was two-fold.

Die epos het gekom op wat sou my 25ste huwelik herdenking wees, wat my geforseer het om ‘n paar goed te besef wat ek geweet het ek heel moontlik (nee, ek raai ek het geweet dat ek sou seker) in die toekoms  moet trotseer. Die aanval was tweevoudig. 

First, my FH explained he was taking custody of my three youngest children when he married, which is now less than two weeks from today. Aren’t you glad that “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8–9)?

Eerstens, het my VM verduidelik dat hy toesig van my drie jongste kinders gaan neem wanneer hy trou, wat minder as twee weke van nou af is. Is julle nie bly dat “In alles word ons verdruk, maar ons is nie teneergedruk nie; ons is oor raad verleë, maar nie radeloos nie; ons word vervolg maar nie deur God verlaat nie” (2 Korintiërs 4:8-9)?

I knew, without any doubt or fear, that whatever was about to happen would be a good thing. It could mean that I may live hours away from my children, but if so, then it would be a good thing. How that would be possible, I don’t have a clue; but no one could have convinced me a year ago that I could have experienced such JOY by having a husband walk out, tell me he was going to look for someone else to marry, divorce me, leave me with all our debt, not pay child support, have a judgment that would ruin my credit for ten years, and set out to destroy my resources (our family’s livelihood) while away ministering in Hong Kong, and that my children would be in my FH wedding party when he marry the AW.

Ek het geweet, sonder enige twyfel of vrees, dat watookal op die punt staan om te gebeur sou ‘n goeie ding wees. Dit kan beteken dat ek ure van my kinders af sal bly, indien so, dan sou dit ‘n goeie ding wees. Hoe dit moontlik sou wees, ek het nie ‘n idee nie; maar niemand sou my ‘n jaar gelede oortuig het dat ek soveel VREUGDE sou ervaar deur ‘n man wat uitloop, sê hy gaan vir iemand anders soek om mee te trou, my skei, my los met al ons skuld, nie onderhoud betaal nie, ‘n vonnis kry wat my krediet vir tien jaar kan ruïneer, en uitgaan om my hulpbronne (ons familie se lewens bestaan) te vernietig terwyl ek weg was in Hong Kong besig om te minister, en dat my kinders in my VM se troue sou wees wanneer hy met die AV trou. 

**Forgive me for sharing these details with you, but I did so to remind me, too, of the sheer awesomeness of God!! How often we fail to really ponder and think of all that He has done for us!!

**Vergewe my dat ek hierdie besonderhede met jou deel, maar ek het dit gedoen om my ook te herinner, aan die pure ontsaglikheid van God!! Hoe dikwels ons faal om regtig na te dink en te dink aan alles wat Hy vir ons gedoen het!!

So with the same enthusiasm as I exhibited with the divorce that turned to joy instead of sorrow, I embraced the crisis, and in a matter of just 48 hours, the tide had turned so incredibly that all I could do was praise the Lord and fall in love with Him all over again! This crisis took place in order to bless my children and me. Though it might have been intended for evil, God intended it for good. In the end, instead of my youngest children moving away to live with their father and the AW, it caused things to be uncovered in their little hearts, which resulted in my FH making plans to come here to visit them (and without the AW) at least for now

So met dieselfde entoesiasme  as wat ek aan die dag gelê het met die egskeiding wat na vreugde gedraai het in plaas van hartseer, het ek die krisis omarm, en in net 48 uur, het die gety so ongelooflik gedraai dat al wat ek kon doen was om die Here te loof en van voor af op Hom verlief te raak! Die krisis het plaas gevind om my kinders en myself te seën. Alhoewel dit bedoel was vir kwaad het God dit bedoel vir goed. Op die einde, in plaas dat my jongste kinders weg getrek het om saam hulle pa en die AV te gaan bly, het dit veroorsaak dat daar dinge in hulle klein hartjies ontbloot is, wat veroorsaak het dat my VM planne gemaak het om hierna toe te kom om hulle te besoek (en sonder die AV) ten minste vir nou!     

This crisis inevitably uncovered the truth that, the hurried nature of my FH’s decision to move out, divorce me, move away, and the most traumatic event of them being introduced to the AW and having her in their lives, had resulted in our children pulling away from loving their dad because the pain had become too great for them to bear. Had I tried to stop or slow down anything my FH wanted to do this year, I would not (and my children would not) be experiencing the newfound freedom and joy we are now rejoicing in!! Even the once “very exciting wedding” is now a very bittersweet event since for him. This is, once again, subjecting the children to what could potentially destroy the love entirely, the love they once had for their father. My FH knows it and has expressed it, yet he also knows he can’t stop the children from coming and witnessing an event that could alter their future relationship with him forever.

Die krisis het onvermydelik die waarheid ontbloot dat, die haastige natuur van my VM se besluit om uit te trek, my te skei, weg te trek, en die mees traumatiese gebeurtenis om aan die AV bekend gestel te word en haar in hulle lewens te hê, veroorsaak het dat die pyn te erg vir hulle geraak het om te dra. Het ek probeer om te keer of te vertraag wat my VM wou gedoen het hierdie jaar, sou ek nie (en my kinders sou nie) die nuutgvonde vryheid en vreugde  ervaar het waarin ons ons nou verheug nie!! Selfs die eens “baie opwindende troue” is nou ‘n bittersoet geleentheid vir hom. Dit is, weereens, om die kinders te onderwerp aan wat potensiaal hulle liefde heeltemal sal vernietig, die liefde wat hulle eens op ‘n tyd vir halle pa gehad het. My VM weet dit en het dit genoem, tog weet hy ook dat hy nie die kinders kan keer om te kom en te attesteer van ‘n geleentheid wat hulle toekoms met hom vir ewig sal verander nie. 

The second attack in my FH’s email made it very clear that destroying our resources was not enough—they (he and his fiancée) are determined to stop my church ministry completely, stating many lies and slander. They’ve made it clear they want me out of the “marriage ministry” for good, both at our church and my association with RMI. And my FH said that whatever it takes he will take his children away from me. However, “‘No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; and every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn, this is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD” (Isaiah 54:17). Knowing His truth meant when I heard the threats, I was not moved at all, instead, I became more excited to see what blessings would result from this frontal attack.

Die tweede aanval in my VM se epos het dit baie duidelik gemaak dat om ons hulpbronne te vernietig nie genoeg was nie—hulle (hy en sy verloofde) is vasberade om my kerk ministerie heeltemal te keer, en het baie leuens en laster verklaar. Hulle het dit duidelik gemaak dat hulle my uit die “huweliks ministerie” wil hê vir goed, beide by ons kerk en my assosiasie met HMI. Ee my VM het gesê dat watookal dit neem hy sal sy kinders van my af wegneem. Nietemin, “Geen wapen wat gesmee word om jou aan te val, sal iets uitrig nie; elkeen wat vals teen jou getuig, sal gestraf word. Dit is hoe Ek, die Here, vir my dienaars sorg. Ek laat geregtigheid aan hulle geskied, sê die Here” (Jesaja 54:17). Om die waarheid te weet het beteken toe ek die dreigemente hoor, was ek nie deur hulle geraak nie, in plaas daarvan het ek meer opgewonde geraak om te sien watter seëninge uit hierdie vrontale aanval sou kom.

So, not only did I place my children on the altar of my heart, I also went ahead and officially placed my church ministry and my volunteering with RMI, along with my potential future of being entirely alone, giving everything to the Lord because all of it is His anyway! 

So, ek het nie net my kinders op die altaar van my hart geplaas nie, ek het ook voort gegaan en offisieel my kerk ministerie en my vrywilligheids diens met HMI, saam met my potensiale toekoms om heeltemal alleen te wees, alles aan Hom gegee want dit is in elk geval Syne!  

Immediately, the Lord spoke to me ever so gently in my prayer closet concerning what I had to do. Honestly, though, it was something that He put on my heart a very long time ago; back when my ex-husband* was still running the ministry. The Lord told me to let go of everything and resign from each of my positions.

Onmiddelik, het die Here met my gepraat so sagkuns in my gebeds hoekie aangaande wat ek moes doen. Eerlik, alhoewel dit iets was wat Hy ‘n baie lang tyd terug op my hart geplaas het; toe my eks-man* nog die ministerie hanteer het. Het die Here my gesê om alles te laat gaan en te bedank uit my posisies. 

 *My FH told me that I cannot use those initials for him anymore; therefore, you will see that I will begin referring to him as my ex or ex-husband, not FH. 

*My VM het vir my gesê dat ek nie daardie voorletters vir hom meer kan gebruik nie; daarom, sal jy sien dat ek begin verwys het na hom as my eks of eks-man nie VM nie.

Though I no longer “submit” to my ex-husband since he is no longer my husband, we are told not to resist evil and to do more than is asked of us. “But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:40–42). 

Alhoewel ek nie meer “onderworpe” aan my eks-man is nie aangesien hy nie meer my man is nie, word ons gesê om nie Maar ek sê vir julle: Julle moet julle nie teen ‘n kwaadwillge persoon verset nie. As iemand jou op die regterwang slaan, draai ook die ander wang na hom toe.  As iemand jou hof toe wil vat om jou onderklere te eis, gee hom ook jou boklere. As iemand jou dwing om sy goed een kilometer ver te dra, dra dit vir hom twee kilometer. Gee aan hom wat iets van jou vra, en moet hom wat van jou leen nie afwys nie” (Matteus 5:40-42).

This principle is very different than submitting to a husband, and needs the leading of the Holy Spirit to really walk it out since there is no easy way of discerning.

Die beginsel is baie anders as om aan ‘n man onderdanig te wees, en het die leiding van die Heilige Gees nodig om regtig deur te voer aangesien daar nie ‘n maklike manier is om oordelkundig op te tree nie.

So, by letting go, I believe I will have more time to write and for now, spend time with my children!! I’m not sure where our income will come from, but it’s God who provides for “all of our needs according to His riches” so why should you or I worry?

So deur te laat gaan, glo ek sal ek meer tyd hê om te skryf en vir nou, tyd met my kinders te spandeer!! Ek is nie seker waar ons inkomste vandaan gaan kom nie, maar dit is God wat voorsien in “al ons behoeftes  volgens sy wonderbaarlike rykdom” so hoekom sou jy jou bekommer?

God truly is in control, so that should make ALL OF US just rest in Him, no longer worried that we will make a mistake or miss God. It’s only when we are surrounded by the enemy and getting backed up to that huge Red Sea, that God parts it! And once parted it creates a clean, straight path directing us to EXACTLY where He wants us to go!! 

God is werklik in beheer, so dit moet maak dat ALMAL VAN ONS net in Hom rus, nie langer bekommerd wees dat ons ‘n fout sal maak of God mis nie. Dit is net wanneer ons omring is deur die vyand en teen die groot Rooi See gedruk is, dat God dit skei! En sodra dit geskei is skep dit ‘n skoon, reguit pad en dirigeer ons PRESIES waar Hy wil hê ons moet gaan!!   

Whether I have an outlet to minister, have children close to me to love, I nevertheless will happily continue to focus on my intimacy and oneness with the Lord. Finding my Love, at last, is what I share when I meet with any woman, here where I live and women around the world. If He opens the doors for me to continue to speak in churches and conferences my message will forever be “He is all that matters.” 

Of ek ‘n uitlaat het om te minister, kinders naby my te hê om lief te hê, sal ek nietemin gelukkig voort gaan om op my intimiteit en eenheid met die Here te fokus. Deur my Liefde, uiteindelik, te Vind, is wat ek deel wanneer ek met enige vrou bymekaar kom, hier waar ek bly en vrouens dwarsoor die wêreld. As Hy die deure vir my oop maak om voort te gaan om in kerke en konferensies te praat sal my boodskap vir ewig wees “Hy is al wat saak maak”

Dear reader, it is all about Him becoming our Husband and us becoming His bride. And this happens only when we are willing to embrace enthusiastically whatever He allows to come against usthat’s when the crises will result in “no more tears and no more sorrow.” No threat of losing my children or ministry or income or home can shake me, because all I want and need is Him. And though people may think I am being taken advantage of, just like Jesus, no one takes my life, I lay it down willingly.

Liewe leser, dit is alles oor Hom wat jou Man word en ons wat Sy bruid word. En dit gebeur net wanneer ons gewillig is watookal teen ons kom entoesiasties te omarm—dit is wanneer die krisis sal ontaard in “ niks meer trane niks meer verdriet.” Geen dreigement dat ek my kinders gaan verloor nie of die ministerie of die inkomste of huis kan my ruk nie, omdat al wat ek wil hê is Hy. En alhoewel mense mag dink dat ek misbruik word,  net soos Jesus, neem niemand my lewe nie, ek lê dit gewillig neer. 

Just as Erin has been quoted as saying too, “My beloved is mine, and I am His . . . When I found Him whom my soul loves; I held on to Him and would not let him go . . . For I am [indeed] lovesick” (Song of Solomon 3:2–4; 5:8). May you each become lovesick too.

Net soos wat Erin aangehaal is om ook te sê, “Die man wat ek liefhet, is myne, en ek syne . . .Skaars was ek by hulle verby, of ek het hom wat ek liefhet, gekry. Ek het hom vasgegryp en hom nie laat los nie . . . sê vir hom die liefde verteer my” (Hooglied 2:16; 3:4; 5:8). Mag julle elkeen ook verteer word. 

About the Author

Oor die Skrywer

Michele Michaels came to Restore Ministries International when she was facing divorce. At the time she was the mother of two small boys. After reading How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and A Wise Woman and she began helping Erin Thiele with her books, soon after they met while each were in Orlando, Florida. Very soon after Erin visited Michele in her home in Colorado, her marriage was restored. 

Michele Michaels het na Herstel Ministeries Internasionaal toe gekom toe sy egskeiding in die gesig gestaar  het. Destyds was sy die moeder van twee klein seuntjies. Nadat sy die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel gelees het en ‘n Wyse Vrou en sy begin het om Erin Thiele met haar boeke te help, kort na hulle mekaar in Orlando, Florida ontmoet het. Baie gou na Erin Michele in haar huis in Colarado besoek het, was haar huwelik herstel.

Almost exactly fourteen years later Michele found herself facing divorce again while helping to update and revise a small Facing Divorce booklet for her church. After returning to RMI to Refresh her mind, Michele began to realize He had planned to use this trial for much good. It was during this new chapter in her life when Michele discovered the real reason God allowed another divorce to happen again and what she had been missing: The Abundant Life.

Amper presies veertien jaar later het Michele haarself weer gevind dat sy egskeiding in die gesig staar terwyl sy gehelp het om die klein Staar Egskeiding in die Gesig boekie op te dateer vir haar kerk. Nadat sy terug gekeer het HMI toe om haar verstand te Verfris, het Michele begin besef het dat Hy beplan het om hierdie beproewing ten goede te gebruik. Dit was gedurende hierdie nuwe hoofstuk in haar lewe wat Michele die regte rede ontdek het hoekom God nog ‘n egskeiding toegelaat het en wat sy gemis het: Die Oorvloedige Lewe.