Hoofstuk 15 “Beweeg Aan of Beweeg Vorentoe”

“Stretch forth thy staff”
—Exodus 8:16

“Steek jou staf uit”
—Eksodus 8:16

 

The question many of you are asking yourself may be, “Is there life after divorce?” Absolutely! There is a wonderful life after divorce, as long as you keep your eyes on the Lord and seek the abundant life He has for you—with you as His bride.

Die vraag wat baie van julle julself mag afvra is: “Is daar lewe na egskeiding?” Absoluut! Daar is ‘n wonderlike lewe na egskeiding, solank jy jou oë op die Here gevestig hou en die oorvloedige lewe soek wat Hy vir jou het—met jou as Sy bruid.

Here is a note that I from one of our RMI members, who lives in Texas with her three small children.

Hier is ‘n nota wat ek van een van ons RMI lede ontvang het, wat saam met haar drie kinders in Texas bly.

Dear RMI,

Liewe RMI,

Oh, how I love Jesus. No other words can express how dear He is to my heart. I know you understand what I am saying—though many don’t. Your life and weekly messages have inspired me to live the life I never thought was possible AFTER divorce!

O, ek is so lief vir Jesus. Geen ander woorde kan uitdruk hoe na aan my hart Hy is nie. Ek weet jy verstaan wat ek sê—alhoewel baie nie verstaan nie. Jou lewe en weeklikse boodskappe het my geïnspireer om die lewe te leef wat ek nooit gedink het moontlik is NA ‘n egskeiding nie!

Tina in Texas

Tina in Texas

The abundant life is not always (probably never if we are honest) the life that we “think” we want. In my life, I always wanted to be just a stay-at-home mother. I wanted to live a life of obscurity. I loved to stay at home, never going out much. This is the life I tried to hold onto and begged God to have. But His abundant life, the life that you and I were created to live, and not the kind of life we probably tried to hold onto!

Die oorvloedige lewe is nie altyd (moontlik nooit, as ons eerlik is) die lewe wat ons “dink” ons wil hê nie. In my lewe wou ek altyd net ‘n by-die-huis-bly ma gewees het. Ek wou ‘n lewe van onduidelikheid leef. Ek het daarvan gehou om by die huis te bly en nooit veel uit te gaan nie. Dit is die lewe waaraan ek probeer vashou het en God gesmeek het om te hê. Maar Sy oorvloedige lewe, die lewe wat ek en jy gemaak is om te leef, is nie die tipe lewe waaraan ons moontlik probeer vashou het nie!

I was divinely created to minister to a small group of women, “for such a time as this” and due to this, I have been asked to travel around the world with ongoing invitations to come and speak. Though at a very young age I gave my life to God, and made Jesus “Lord of my life,” I knew I was not my own because He had bought me with a price—He shed His blood so I could live. But though I had said He was my Lord, and obeyed each command, principle, and His leadings, I was still trying to hold onto what I thought would make me happy!

Ek was goddelik geskape om aan ‘n klein groepie vroue bediening te gee, “met die oog op ‘n tyd soos hierdie” en as gevolg hiervan, was ek gevra om regoor die wêreld te reis met deurlopende uitnodigings om te kom praat. Alhoewel ek my lewe op ‘n baie jong ouderdom vir die Here gegee het en Jesus die “Here van my lewe” gemaak het, het ek geweet my lewe was nie my eie nie, want Hy het my teen ‘n prys gekoop—Hy het Sy bloed vergiet sodat ek kan leef. Maar alhoewel ek gesê het dat Hy my Here was en elke gebod, beginsel en Sy leiding gehoorsaam het, het ek nog steeds probeer vashou aan dit wat ek gedink het my gelukkig sou maak!

Then as I spiritually matured, I chose to let go of what I thought would make me happy, and instead held on to Who I knew would make me happy—the Lord, my new Husband. Each day, and each new year brings me (and my family) to a higher level of spiritual maturity and more joy into all our lives! And though I know I have not yet “arrived,” I am at least a little farther in my life; I am finally at a place of total and complete surrender. It began with facing divorce a second time, the debt I was left, and the neediness of the women around the world (after starting in my church, then reaching out to my community), to bring me out of my comfort zone and for me to begin to live the abundant life God had for me all along!

Soos wat ek geestelik volwasse geword het, het ek verkies om te laat gaan van wat ek gedink het my gelukkig sou maak en het eerder vasgehou aan Wie ek geweet het my gelukkig sou maak—die Here, my nuwe Man. Elke dag en elke nuwe jaar neem my (en my gesin) na ‘n hoër vlak van geestelike volwassenheid en meer vreugde in ons almal se lewens! En alhoewel ek weet dat ek nog nie “aangekom” het nie, is ek ten minste ‘n bietjie verder in my lewe; ek is uiteindelik op ‘n plek van totale en volledige oorgawe. Dit het begin toe ek die tweede keer egskeiding in die gesig gestaar het, die skuld waarin ek gelos was en die behoeftigheid van die vroue regoor die wêreld (nadat ek in my kerk begin het en toe na my gemeenskap uitgereik het), om my uit my gemaksone te bring en vir my om die oorvloedige lewe te begin leef wat God die hele tyd vir my gehad het!

And now it is about to be completed after I walk away with nothing but what I can hold in two suitcases and a carry-on suitcase to live in Europe. All my worldly possessions, every person I love, all my belonging—have now been given to someone else, so that I am free to allow the Lord to lead me into a life that He promised when He first showed me that there was an abundant life that He died to give me and you!

En nou staan dit op die punt om voltooi te word, nadat ek weggestap het met niks anders as wat ek in twee tasse en ‘n dra-tas kan hou om in Europa te woon nie. Al my aardse besittings, elke persoon vir wie ek lief is—is nou vir iemand anders gegee, sodat ek vry kan wees om die Here toe te laat om my te lei na ‘n lewe wat Hy belowe het, toe Hy my die eerste keer gewys het dat daar ‘n oorvloedige lewe was wat Hy gesterf het om vir my en jou te gee!

God is now giving me the desires of my heart that He placed there, but they are not the same as what was in my head, which I had placed there for years. And your future, the one that He puts in your heart, is so incredible that it would seem just “too good to be true” and certainly “not you!”

God gee my nou die begeertes van my hart wat Hy daar geplaas het, maar hulle is nie dieselfde as wat ek in my kop gehad het nie, wat ek vir jare daar gehou het. En jou toekoms, die een wat Hy in jou hart plaas, is so ongelooflik dat dit lyk asof dit “te goed is om waar te wees” en beslis “nie jy nie!”

For the rest of my life, who knows, I may be traveling (something I always hated to do), but my heart is filled with joy that wants to overflow! My children will be miles from me (on the other side of the world), but I know that their heavenly Father is watching over them, since He is my Husband; therefore, He is their Father and is always with them. And forevermore He will always “surround us with favor” just as He has done in our lives since I first began to seek Him above all else.

Wie weet, ek mag dalk vir die res van my lewe reis (iets wat ek altyd gehaat het om te doen), maar my hart is gevul met vreugde wat wil oorloop! My kinders sal myle van my af wees (aan die ander kant van die wêreld), maar ek weet dat hul hemelse Vader oor hulle waak, aangesien Hy my Man is; daarom is Hy hulle Vader en is altyd by hulle. En Hy sal ons vir ewig met “guns omring,” net soos Hy in ons lewens gedoen het sedert ek hom die eerste keer bo alles begin soek het.

“Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever” (Psalm 23:6).

“U goedheid en liefde sal my lewe lank by my bly en ek sal tuis wees in die huis van die Here tot in lengte van dae” (Psalms 23:6).

And because of my obedience by surrendering my life to the Lord, specifically by traveling when I am a simple homebody, the showers of blessings (financial and opportunities) are opening up and pouring down all over my family, my ministry to women, and on me! The same will happen with you as you surrender your life and expect blessings that He has stored up for you. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).

En as gevolg van my gehoorsaamheid deur my lewe aan die Here oor te gee, veral deur te reis wanneer ek ‘n eenvoudige huishen is, maak die stortvloed seëninge (finansieel en geleenthede) oop en word uitgegiet oor my hele gesin, my bediening aan vroue en oor my! Dieselfde sal met jou gebeur as jy jou lewe oorgee en die seëninge verwag wat Hy vir jou gestoor het. “’Wat die oog nie gesien en die oor nie gehoor het nie,’ en wat in die hart van ‘n mens nie opgekom het nie, dit het God gereed gemaak vir dié wat Hom liefhet” (1 Korintiërs 2:9).

Move On
Beweeg Aan

Once a divorce goes through, so many of your friends and family members will try to encourage you to “move on.” Those who love us or who believe they know what everyone else is supposed to do are going to keep pressing you. So rather than setting yourself up for more pressure from well-meaning friends and loved ones, I would encourage you to “agree” with them and move on by developing a more intimate relationship with the Lord! You never know what He has for the two of you up ahead.

Sodra ‘n egskeiding gefinaliseer is, sal so baie van jou vriende en familielede jou probeer aanmoedig om “aan te beweeg.” Diegene wat ons liefhet of wat glo dat hulle weet wat al die ander mense veronderstel is om te doen, gaan aanhou om jou te druk. Dus, eerder as om jouself op te stel vir meer druk van welmenende vriende en geliefdes, wil ek jou graag aanmoedig om met hulle “saam te stem” en aan te beweeg deur ‘n meer intieme verhouding met die Here te ontwikkel! Jy weet nooit wat Hy vorentoe vir julle twee het nie.

When asked, you don’t have to be specific, but a relationship with the Lord is the only thing that will make your future bright and heal any pain or loneliness you have.

Wanneer jy gevra word, hoef jy nie spesifiek te wees nie, maar ‘n verhouding met die Here is die enigste ding wat jou toekoms blink sal maak en enige pyn en eensaamheid wat jy het, sal genees.

Most people today (family, friends and coworkers) believe that it is important to find “yourself,” or take time for “yourself.” Yet, the way to find real happiness, and joy— joy that no one can take from you, is to really discover who you are in your relationship with the Lord. To learn what a joy it is in being His bride, not just a wife to someone.

Meeste mense (familie, vriende en medewerkers) glo deesdae dat dit belangrik is om “jouself” te vind, of tyd vir “jouself” te neem. Maar die manier om ware geluk te vind, en vreugde—vreugde wat niemand van jou kan wegneem nie, is om regtig te ontdek wie jy is in jou verhouding met die Here. Om te leer wat ‘n vreugde dit is om Sy bruid te wees, nie net iemand se man nie.

Another benefit to agreeing is that as long as your ex-spouse has any inclination at all that you still want him/her, and you still have not let go of your marriage, you will see your spouse more committed to the man or woman your spouse left you for! And even if that relationship ends, they will stay angry and mean towards you. And as I said earlier, if you pursue the Lord, your ex will begin to pursue you, and allure you, instead of the other way around! I know.

Nog ‘n voordeel om saam te stem, is dat solank jou gewese eggenoot enigstens aanvoel dat jy hom/haar nog wil hê en jy nog steeds nie van jou huwelik laat gaan het nie, sal jy jou eggenoot meer toegewyd sien aan die man of vrou waarvoor hulle jou gelos het! En selfs al word daardie verhouding beëindig, sal hulle kwaad en gemeen teenoor jou bly, En soos ek vroeër gesê het, as jy die Here najaag, sal jou eks jou begin najaag en jou bekoor, in plaas van andersom! Ek weet.

This happened just days after my divorce was final; actually, it really happened even before that! When I think about it, it actually started the day after we both had signed the papers for the divorce to go through.

Dit het gebeur slegs ‘n paar dae nadat my egskeiding gefinaliseer was; in werklikheid het dit eintlik selfs voor dit gebeur! Wanneer ek daaraan dink, het dit eintlik begin die dag nadat ons albei die dokumente onderteken het vir die egskeiding om deur te gaan.

My husband began telling me how beautiful I was, running errands for me, and following me around the house when he was there to visit the children. He even set up his laptop (that he can use anywhere in the house) right next to me all day!

My man het my begin vertel hoe mooi ek was, vir my takies verrig en my oral in die huis gevolg wanneer hy daar was om die kinders te besoek. Hy het selfs sy skootrekenaar (wat hy enige plek in die huis kan gebruik) die hele dag reg langs my opgestel!

Because of my financial situation, and because his pull (the cords that have him bound) was still very much for the AW, he was forced to move hours away, moving in with his mom (in the same state as the AW). “His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin” (Proverbs 5:22) God moved him away for a reason, and part of it was the anticipation (or should I say, dread?) of moving away from our children, and even me! Imagine that!

As gevolg van my finasiële situasie, en omdat hy nog steeds baie na die NV getrek (die vangstrikke wat hom vashou) was, was hy geforseer om ure weg te trek en by sy ma in te trek (in dieselfde staat as die NV). “Sy eie ongeregtighede vang hom, die goddelose, en in die vangstrikke van sy sonde word hy vasgehou” (Spreuke 5:22 AFR53). God het hom vir ‘n rede laat wegtrek en deel daarvan was die afwagting (of moet ek sê vrees?) om weg te trek van ons kinders af, en selfs ek! Verbeel jou!

The day before he was to move, I was flying to speak to women in another state, and he would be gone before I got back. Knowing he would not see me again, he called later that morning to see if we could go out for lunch. I joked, “Oh, a lunch date?” and he said, “Yes, a date. I will come pick you up so we can have more time to talk in the car.” Again taking the offensive position, rather than cowering in a defensive position, I asked if he had something serious to “talk” to me about. He assured me, no.

Die dag voor hy sou trek, het ek gevlieg om met vroue in ‘n ander staat te praat en hy sou weg wees voordat ek teruggekom het. Omdat hy geweet het dat hy my nie weer sou sien nie, het hy later daardie oggend gebel om uit te vind of ons kon uitgaan vir middagete. Ek het ‘n grap gemaak: “O, ‘n middagete afspraak?” en hy het gesê: “Ja, ‘n afspraak, ek sal jou kom oplaai sodat ons meer tyd kan hê om in die kar te praat.” Weereens het ek die offensiewe posisie ingeneem, eerder as om te bewe in ‘n verdedigende posisie, ek het gevra of hy iets ernstigs het om met my te “bespreek.” Hy het my verseker, nee.

However ladies, you and I are painfully aware that most men are not on the same playing field emotionally as a woman is, and also they are not able to “understand” how things can be painful to us. That is why the Bible admonishes men to realize this. In 1 Peter 3:7 it says, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

Maar dames, ek en jy is pynlik bewus daarvan dat meeste mans nie op dieselfde emosionele speelveld is as vroue nie, en hulle is ook nie in staat om te “verstaan” hoe dinge vir ons pynlik kan wees nie. Dit is hoekom die Bybel mans vermaan om dit te besef. In 1 Petrus 3:7 sê dit: “Mans, julle moet verstandig met julle vrouens saamleef. Bewys eer aan hulle as die swakker geslag wat saam met julle deel in die lewe as genadegawe. Dan sal julle kan bid sonder dat iets julle hinder.”

It is only when men live “by the spirit” and are led by Him, that they will be able to treat women with “honor as the weaker vessel, since [we] are women.” For us to expect this from a man who either doesn’t know the Lord, or has not made Jesus truly Lord of his life (the way we have done) is simply setting ourselves up for hurt and disappointment.

Dit is slegs wanneer mans wandel “volgens die Gees” en deur Hom gelei word, dat hulle vroue sal kan behandel met “eer as die swakker geslag.” Vir ons om dit van ‘n man te verwag wat nie die Here ken nie, of wat Jesus nie waarlik die Here van sy lewe (soos ons gedoen het) gemaak het nie, is om onsself eenvoudig op te stel vir seerkry en teleurstelling.

So with this in mind, even though he “said” that there was nothing he seriously he needed to speak to me about, I knew to prepare myself. The Holy Spirit, too, was ahead of me since I was led to fast that morning. When he arrived, he came into my bedroom to see if I was ready, when he pulled out an envelope that I recognized right away, since he always kept it safely in the top drawer of his dresser. It was the first letter I sent him, along with my picture he kept for 24 years.

Met dit in gedagte, selfs al het hy “gesê” dat daar niks ernstigs was waaroor hy met my moes praat nie, het ek geweet om myself voor te berei. Die Heilige Gees was my ook vooruit, aangesien ek daardie oggend gelei was om te vas. Toe hy opdaag, het hy in my kamer ingekom om te kyk of ek gereed was, hy het toe ‘n koevert uitgehaal wat ek dadelik herken het, aangesien hy dit altyd veilig in die boonste laai van sy laaikas gehou het. Dit was die eerste brief wat ek vir hom gestuur het, saam met my foto wat hy vir 24 jaar gehou het.

As I mentioned previously, I again took the offensive so as not to fall apart, and said enthusiastically, “Oh, thanks! I will put these pictures in our family photo album. The children will probably like to see them some day. But I don’t want the letter I sent, so since you don’t want it, I will just throw it away” and I walked over to drop it into the trash. Instead of being hurt, the pain fell on him and pierced his heart, not mine. I know that he had hoped that I would save it.

Soos wat ek vroeër genoem het, het ek weer die offensiewe posisie ingeneem om nie uitmekaar te val nie, en entoesiasties gesê: “O, dankie! Ek sal hierdie foto’s in ons familie foto album sit. Die kinders sal waarskynlik daarvan hou om hulle eendag te sien. Maar ek wil nie die brief hê wat ek gestuur het nie, so aangesien jy dit nie wil hê nie, sal ek dit weggooi” en ek het oorgeloop om dit in die asblik te gooi. In plaas daarvan om seergemaak te voel, het die pyn op hom geval en sy hart deurboor, nie myne nie. Ek weet hy het gehoop dat ek dit sal hou.

My intent is not to hurt anyone else. My goal is to make sure I continually walk in God’s perfect will and to enjoy the abundant life Jesus died to give me. When we walk in His perfect love, it casts out all fear and we experience no more tears and no more sorrow.

My intensie is nie om enigiemand anders seer te maak nie. My doel is om seker te maak ek loop voortdurend in God se perfekte wil en om die oorvloedige lewe te geniet wat Jesus gesterf het om vir my te gee. Wanneer ons in Sy perfekte liefde loop, verdryf dit alle vrees en ons ervaar nie meer trane en hartseer nie.

Just about a week later the Lord spoke to me that for each incident there is just ONE set of hurt, one set of pain, one set of shame. If we are willing to take the pain or shame—it is ours! But if we, by the leading of the Holy Spirit, refuse to take it, then it will fall where it needs to be in order to bring about a change in the other person: our husbands and even the OW.

Omtrent ‘n week later het die Here met my gepraat en gesê dat daar vir elke insident net EEN stel seerkry, een stel pyn en een stel vernedering is. As ons gewillig is om die pyn of vernedering te vat—is dit ons s’n! Maar as ons, deur die Heilige Gees se leiding, weier om dit te vat, dan sal dit val waar dit moet wees om sodoende ‘n verandering in die ander persoon te bewerkstellig: ons mans en selfs die AV.

The first time around, I was more than willing, to take it all!! All the shame, pain, guilt, you name it—I took it—every negative emotion. The result was my cowering in pain in my tiny townhouse, afraid to go out (lest I run into “them”). I that made me a prisoner of all those hurts! This time, praise the Lord, He has set me free!! And now my heart is to set each of you free!!!

Die eerste keer was ek meer as bereid om dit alles te vat!! Al die vernedering, pyn, skuldgevoelens, noem dit—ek het dit gevat—elke negatiewe emosie. Die gevolg was dat ek opgekrul was in pyn in my klein meenthuisie, te bang om uit te gaan (sodat ek nie in “hulle” vasloop nie). Dit het my ‘n gevangene gemaak van al daardie seerkry! Hierdie keer, prys die Here, het Hy my vrygestel!! En nou is dit my hart om elkeen van julle vry te stel!!!

It is not just so we can be free from the pain, but the Bible says that sinners need to experience “Godly sorrow” without regret, that leads to repentance! “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Dit is nie net sodat ons vrygestel kan word van die pyn nie, maar die Bybel sê dat sondaars “Goddelike droefheid” sonder spyt moet ervaar, wat tot redding lei! “…want droefheid volgens die wil van God bring bekering wat tot redding lei, en daaroor was niemand nog ooit jammer nie. Daarteenoor bring droefheid uit wêreldse oorwegings die dood” (2 Korintiërs 7:10).

Our goal is to work with God and be aware of how He does things; it is learning to understand the principles of spiritual warfare, which too many Christians have no idea how to fight correctly. It is not simply shouting at the devil; it is living the principles and spiritual laws that the universe was created by.

Ons doel is om saam met God te werk en bewus te wees van hoe Hy dinge doen; dit is om die beginsels van geestelike oorlogvoering te leer verstaan, te veel Christene het geen idee hoe om korrek te veg nie. Dit is nie om eenvoudig op die duiwel te skree nie; dit is om die beginsels en geestelike wette waarvolgens die heelal geskep is, uit te leef

By the end of the lunch “date,” he kept me in the car trying to build up the courage to ask me what he had really wanted to say before I left the next day. He finally had the nerve to say what he wanted to say; my ex-husband asked me if things didn’t work out with the “other person” (meaning with the AW) would I ever consider marrying him again?

Teen die einde van die middagete “afspraak,” het hy my in die kar gehou en probeer moed opbou om my te vra wat hy regtig wou vra voordat ek die volgende dag sou vertrek. Hy het uiteindelik die moed gehad om te vra wat hy wou vra; my eks man het my gevra of ek dit ooit sou oorweeg om weer met hom te trou as dinge nie met die “ander persoon” (bedoelende die NV) sou uitwerk nie?

This means that within two weeks of the divorce being final, he had already actively begun to pursue me, but it was God’s plan that he would not “overtake me.”

Dit beteken dat hy alreeds binne twee weke nadat die egskeiding gefinaliseer was, aktief begin het om my na te jaag, maar dit was God se plan dat hy my nie sou “verbysteek” nie.

Just the day before, I had been encouraging another restored woman with an email who was facing the same thing with her husband leaving once again, to pursue yet another woman. So I had advised her to keep telling the Lord how HE was all she wanted, HE was all she needed, and only HE could make her happy.

Net die vorige dag het ek ‘n ander herstelde vrou met ‘n e-pos bemoedig wat dieselfde ding in die gesig gestaar het met haar man wat haar weereens verlaat het, om nog ‘n ander vrou na te jaag. Daarom het ek haar aangeraai om aan te hou om vir die Here te sê hoe HY al was wat sy wou hê, HY al was wat sy nodig gehad het, en net HY kon haar gelukkig maak.

Since everything I’d gone through was fresh in my mind, I began another “dose” of this prescription myself. So much so, that I found myself in my prayer closet pleading with God to keep it “this way” always! That morning, I was overwhelmed with this burning desire, “Please just let it be You and me Lord, reconsider restoration! I am just so happy with You and me alone!”

Aangesien alles wat ek deurgegaan het nog vars in my geheue was, het ek begin om self nog ‘n “dosis” van hierdie voorskrif te neem. Soveel so dat ek myself in my gebedshoekie bevind het en by God gepleit het om dit altyd “so” te hou! Daardie oggend was ek oorweldig met hierdie brandende begeerte: “Asseblief laat dit net ek en Jy wees Here, heroorweeg herstel! Ek is net so gelukkig met my en Jou alleen!”

So when my ex-husband asked me, without thinking (but clearly led by the Lord) I said, “No, I don’t ever want to be married again.” He sort of chuckled and said (since he was aware of the RMI ministry principles I taught in our church Bible studies) that I was only saying this because he would think I was pursuing him if I said yes. That “no” was what I needed to say, since I needed to follow the principles I taught.

So toe my eks man my gevra het, het ek sonder om te dink (maar duidelik deur die Here gelei) gesê: “Nee, ek wil nooit weer getroud wees nie.” Hy het soortvan gelag en gesê (aangesien hy bewus was van die RMI bedieningsbeginsels wat ek in ons kerk se Bybelstudies onderrig het) dat ek dit net gesê het omdat hy sou dink dat ek hom najaag as ek ja sê. Dat ek “nee” moes sê, aangesien ek die beginsels moes volg wat ek onderrig het.

I assured him, no, this is how I really felt; that I clearly was no good at being a wife, and when you are no good at something, you don’t really enjoy it. I said that since this all happened I had never been happier in my life, and that I wanted to instead devote myself to my children, the Lord, and my ministry wherever that took me.

Ek het hom verseker, nee, dit is hoe ek regtig gevoel het; dat ek duidelik nie goed daarmee was om ‘n vrou te wees nie, en as jy nie goed is in iets nie, geniet jy dit nie regtig nie. Ek het gesê dat aangesien dit alles gebeur het, was ek nog nooit gelukkiger in my lewe nie, en dat ek myself eerder wou toewy aan my kinders, die Here en my bediening, waarheen dit my ook al mag neem.

My ex-husband turned away and when he turned back, there were tears in his eyes. While he was turned away, I realized that the Lord had set me up to say just what I had said, and He had set my ex-husband up to hear that the doors were all closed for him. That the only One he could turn to would be the Lord, while things (with the AW) were not working out, which he spoke to me about after that.

My eks man het weggedraai en toe hy terugdraai, was daar trane in sy oë. Terwyl hy weggedraai was, het ek besef dat die Here my opgestel het om te sê wat ek gesê het, en hy het my eks man opgestel om te hoor dat die al deure vir hom gesluit was. Dat die enigste Een waarnatoe hy kon draai, die Here sou wees, terwyl dinge (met die NV) nie uitgewerk het nie, waaroor hy na die tyd met my gepraat het.

Honestly, though I felt a bit sorry for him, the greater emotion was that this was more amazing than anything I could have imagined would happen. I have been in awe of the Lord for years, but this was beyond anything I had ever heard or seen! It strengthened my faith and trust in God like never before, and I could see, clearly, that every promise He had given me would come to pass!

Ek het hom eerlikwaar ‘n bietjie jammer gekry, die groter emosie was dat dit wonderliker was as enigiets wat ek ooit kon dink sou gebeur. Ek is al jare lank in verwondering oor die Here, maar dit was bo enigiets wat ek ooit gehoor of gesien het! Dit het my geloof en vertroue op God versterk soos nog nooit tevore nie, en ek kon duidelik sien dat elke belofte wat Hy vir my gegee het, vervul sou word!

God created men to seek after a woman, and as long as there is a chase, he is happy and is in hot pursuit of her. But once a man has caught the woman, he is no longer intrigued, and will soon seek after something or someone else. As women, our eyes need to stay on the Lord. We were created with an insatiable desire for spiritual things, so our “hot pursuit” needs to be for our Lord. I am not talking about more Bible studies, seminars, books, or conferences. It is the “closet time” alone with the Lord, and spending time in His Word (His love letters to us), on date nights with Him and those special times He has planned for you.

God het mans gemaak om na ‘n vrou te soek, en solank daar ‘n jaagtog is, is hy gelukkig en warm op haar spoor. Maar sodra ‘n man die vrou gevang het, is hy nie langer gefassineerd nie, en sal vinnig iets of iemand anders soek. As vroue moet ons oë op die Here gevestig wees. Ons is geskape met ‘n onversadigbare begeerte vir geestelike dinge, so ons moet “warm op die spoor” vir ons Here wees. Ek praat nie van nog meer Bybelstudies, seminare, boeke of konferensies nie. Dit is die “gebedshoekie tyd” alleen saam met die Here en tyd spandeer in Sy Woord (Sy liefdesbriewe aan ons), op afspraak aande saam met Hom en daardie spesiale tye wat Hy vir jou beplan het.

Though spending time with a husband is nice, spending time alone with the Lord is GREAT! Just like I used to “snuggle in the morning” or “talk all night like a slumber party” with my husband when we were married, I am doing that with my new Husband now. Wow!! And this Husband brings no sorrow or pain with it. No marriage is perfect, but some, as I know you know, are down right painful. With the Lord, there is no pain, never any!

Alhoewel dit lekker is om tyd saam met ‘n man te spandeer, is dit WONDERLIK om tyd alleen saam met die Here te spandeer! Net soos ek en my man gewoonlik in “die oggende geknuffel” het, of “die hele aand lank gepraat het soos ‘n sluimer partytjie” toe ons nog getroud was, doen ek dit nou met my nuwe Man. Wow!! En hierdie Man bring geen hartseer of pyn saam met dit nie. Geen huwelik is perfek nie, maar sommige, soos ek weet jy weet, is dood eenvoudig pynlik. Met die Here is daar geen pyn nie, nooit enige pyn nie!

Instead of experiencing this kind of married life, today women are chasing men to marry them and have to continue to chase them when they leave them for another relationship. My sons (before marrying) were always facing this dilemma, since the girls were always pursuing them, and that made them totally disinterested! Even the girls’ mothers began pursuing our sons for their daughters. It is a dark and fallen world.

In plaas daarvan om hierdie soort getroude lewe te ervaar, jaag vroue deesdae mans om met hulle te trou en moet voortgaan om hulle te jaag wanneer hulle hulle verlaat vir ‘n ander verhouding. My seuns (voordat hulle getrou het) het altyd hierdie dilemma in die gesig gestaar, aangesien die meisies hulle altyd gejaag het, en dit het hulle heeltemal ongeïnteresseerd gemaak! Selfs die meisies se ma’s het ons seuns vir hul dogters begin najaag.

Only as we are willing to let it all go, will we see the salvation and blessings of the Lord. I pray that each of you will do all it takes to find the abundant life God has for you! Pursing the Lord with all your heart may mean restoration, it may not; but it will mean: joy, peace, and a heart that overflows with excitement when you wake up each day.

Net as ons gewillig is om dit alles te laat gaan, sal ons die verlossing en seëninge van die Here sien. Ek bid dat elkeen van julle alles sal doen wat nodig is om die oorvloedige lewe te vind wat God vir jou het! Om die Here met jou hele hart na te jaag, kan herstel beteken, dit mag nie; maar dit sal beteken: vreugde, vrede en ‘n hart wat oorloop van opgewondenheid wanneer jy elke dag wakker word.

*For more information or details to encourage you that there is life after divorce, please read the next two Michele Michaels My Restoration Journey True Story Novels: Finding the Abundant Life, and then Living the Abundant Life that she wrote while going through her divorce and what led to way beyond her wildest dreams!

*Vir meer inligting of besonderhede om jou aan te moedig dat daar wel ‘n lewe na egskeiding is, lees asseblief die volgende twee Michele Michaels, My Herstel Reis, Ware Verhaal Romans: Vind die Oorvloedige Lewe, en dan Leef die Oorvloedige Lewe wat sy geskryf het terwyl sy deur haar egskeiding gegaan het, en wat gelei het tot ‘n lewe ver bokant haar wildste drome!