Hoostuk 16 “Gee Waansinnig”

“Never shall You wash my feet!”

“Lord, then wash not only my feet,

But also my hands and my head”!

— John 13:7–9

 

 “U sal in alle ewigheid nooit my voete was nie!”

 “Here, dan nie net my voete nie,

maar ook my hande en my gesig.”

—Johannes 13:7—9

 

Over the past few years, well actually, I suppose I realized it soon after my divorce. I began to notice that I am a lot like Peter of whom this opening verse is about.

Oor die laaste paar jare, wel eintlik, ek veronderstel ek het dit gou na my egskeiding besef. Het ek begin om agter te kom dat ek baie soos Petrus is van wie hierdie openings vers is. 

Peter was one of the apostles who witnessed Jesus walking on water and believed He was a ghost. Then unlike the other apostles when Peter realized it was Jesus, he immediately jumped out of the boat to walk toward Him. Unfortunately, he was also the one who looked around at the wind and the waves and immediately began to sink. Thankfully, he also holds onto no pride and proceeded to cry out for Jesus to save him.

Petrus was een van die apostels wat getuig het hoe Jesus op die water geloop het en geglo het dat Hy ‘n spook was. Toe anders as die ander apostels toe Petrus besef het dit was Jesus, het hy onmiddellik uit die boot gespring en na Hom toe geloop. Ongelukkig, was hy ook die een wat rond gekyk het na die wind en die golwe en onmiddellik begin sink het. Dankbaar, hou hy nie aan trots vas nie en gaan voort en roep uit na Jesus toe om hom te red.

You’d think he would learn, but we saw this kind of behavior several times from him again, like this one in our opening verse, which occurred at the beginning of the Last Supper festivities. Peter was quick to try to stop Jesus from washing his feet (knowing the kind of sinner he was), but when Jesus told Peter that without allowing it, “you have no part with Me” Peter goes overboard, again, and asked Jesus to wash his hands, feet, and head!

Jy sou dink hy sou leer, maar ons sien hierdie soort gedrag weer telke kere van hom af, soos die een in die opening vers, wat gebeur het aan die begin van die Laaste Ete feeste. Petrus was gou om te probeer om Jesus te keer om sy voete te was (wetend watter soort sondaar hy was), maar toe Jesus vir Petrus sê dat sonder om dit toe te laat, “het jy nie deel aan My nie” gaan Petrus,  weer, oorboord en vra vir Jesus om sy hande, voete, en kop te was!

Since I am comparing myself to this interesting fellow Peter, I think I would like to stop right here before I have to be reminded that Peter was the one who was absolutely sure that he would stand by Jesus, who he later denied…okay, let’s stop right there. Or, better yet, let’s fast forward to remind ourselves (this is more for my benefit than yours that Jesus did mention that after His resurrection, in Matthew 16:18, “I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this Rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.” Okay, that’s better…

Aangesien ek msyelf met hierdie interessante ou Petrus vergelyk, dink ek ek wil nou hier stop voordat ek herinner moet word dat Petus die een was wat absoluut seker was dat hy by Jesus sou staan, wie hy later ontken het...reg kom ons stop reg hier. Of, nog beter, kom ons gaan vinnig vorentoe om onsself te herinner (dit is meer vir my voordeel as joune dat Jesus genoem het dat na Sy opstanding, in Matteus 16:18, “ En Ek sê vir jou: Jy is Petrus, en op hierdie rots sal Ek my kerk bou, en die magte van die doderyk sal dit nie oorweldig nie.” Reg, dit is beter...

So, here’s how I’m like Peter. When the Lord showed me that my financial woes were due to unpaid back tithes that had caused not only my “state of poverty,” but also my children and my ministry’s “death”… Okay, wait, before I go on, although I do believe that humility is always in vogue, in fashion as a believer, I don’t want to paint the wrong picture of my circumstances. Let me rewind or regress just a bit…

So, hier is ek nou ek is soos Petrus. Toe die Here my gewys het dat my finansiële ellende was as gevolg van my agterstallige tiendes wat nie net my “toestand van armoede,” veroorsaak het nie, maar ook my kinders en my bediening se “dood” ...Reg, wag, voordat ek aangaan, alhoewel ek glo dat nederigheid as ‘n gelowige altyd in die mode is, wil ek nie die verkeerde prentje van my omstandighede verf nie. Laat my net ‘n bietjie teruggaan of agteruitgaan...

Due to the fact that I had been tithing to my storehouse along with giving an offering that equaled 50% of my personal income, and though we had no huge bank account, and we did have debt coming out of our (my) ears, we were never lacking in anything. Nothing at all.

As gevolg van die feit dat ek vir my voorraadkamer my tiende gegee het saam met ‘n offerande wat gelykstaande was aan  50% van my persoonlike inkomtse, en alhoewel ons nie ‘n groot bank rekening geahd het nie, en ons skuld gehad het wat uit (my) ore gekom het, het ons aan niks tekort geskiet nie. Glad niks nie.

A lot of our living comfortably was due to the fact that the Lord had me write and live the principles in Breaking free from The Poverty Mentality. So, I was not violating any of those principles by stating “We can’t afford it” nor was I thinking it either. From the moment of my divorce, I was free to break loose from all restraints—I was a woman on a mission to radically obey God no matter what!

Baie van ons gemaklike lewe was as gevolg van die feit dat die Here my gekry het om te skryf en die beginsels uit te leef in Breek vry van die Armoede Mentaliteit. So, ek het nie enige een van daardie beginsels oortree deur om te verklaar “Ons kan dit nie bekostig nie” nog minder het ek dit gedink. Van die oomblik van my egskeiding, was ek vry om los te breek van alle beperkings—ek was ‘n vrou op ‘n missie om God radikaal te gehoorsaam maak nie saak wat nie!

And so, being the zealot that I am, when I met a medical missionary on a flight who got my attention when he told me about a man he knew who had given God 90% of his income, which is when I began to ask my Husband to help me to increase to that amount too— I just knew God had me sit beside this young man because that message was for me! And a few months later I had gotten up to giving 50% of my income. Yet none of this was what I was doing with my ministry income. Now, fast forwarding to the present…

En so, deur die yweraar te wees wat ek is, toe ek ‘n mediese sendeling wie my aandag getrek het op ‘n vlug ontmoet het het hy my vertel dat hy ‘n man wat ontmoet het wat 90% van sy inkomste gegee het, wat toe was wat ek begin het om my Man te vra om daardie bedrag ook te vermeerd—ek het net geweet dat God my gekry het om langs hierdie jong man te sit omdat die boodskap vir my was! En ‘n paar maande later het ek tot op 50% van my inkomste gegee. Tog, niks hiervan was wat ek met my bediening inkomste gedoen het nie. Nou, vinnig vorentoe na die huidige...

At first, when I would think of the enormous amount of “back” tithes I knew I owed from my ministry income, the thought wanted to engulf me with horror and fear. That’s when I chose to turn it around and focus on the fact that tithing means giving, and with so much in back tithes, there had to be a lot of giving up ahead. And to confirm this giving was in my future, I instantly remembered something I saved from a fortune cookie that said, “In your latter years you will be a philanthropist.” If you don’t know what a philanthropist is, you are not alone, it was only a few years earlier that I finally looked it up. Oh, I had heard the word but didn’t exactly know what it meant.

In die begin, toe ek gedink het aan die enorme “agterstallige” tiendes wat ek geweet het ek uit my bediening inkomste geskuld het, wou die gedagte my met my gruwel en vrees verswelg. Dit was toe dat ek gekies het om dit om te keer en te fokus op die feit dat tiendes beteken gee, en met so baie agterstallige tiendes, moes daar baie gee vorentoe lê. En om te bevestig dat gee in my toekoms was, het ek onmiddellik iets onthou wat ek van ‘n fortuin koekie gespaar het wat gesê het, “In jou laaste jare sal jy ‘n filantroop wees.” As jy nie weet wat ‘n filantroop is nie, is jy nie alleen nie, dit was net ‘n paar jaar vroeër wat ek dit finaal opgesoek het. O, ek het die woord gehoor maar het nie presies geweet wat dit beteken het nie.

So here is the official definition: philanthropist, wealthy people who give substantial amounts of money to support charitable, educational, or cultural institutions or activities; a desire to improve the material, social, and spiritual welfare of humanity, especially through charitable activities; general love for, or benevolence toward, the whole of humankind.

So hier is die offisiële definisie: filantroop, ryk mense wie aansienlike bedrae geld gee om liefdadigheid, opvoedkundig, of kulturele aktiwiteite te ondersteun; ‘n begeerte om die materialistiese, sosiale en geestelike welvaart van die mensdom te verbeter, spesiaal deur liefdadigheids aktiwiteite; algemene liefde vir, of welwillendheid vir, die hele mensdom.

Sounds just like Jesus, doesn’t it?

Klink net soos Jesus, doen dit nie?

And would you believe, just the day before, the day before I opened that fortune cookie, I had asked God, “Make me a philanthropist”?

En sou jy glo, net die dag vantevore, die dag voor ek die fortuin koekie oopgemaak het, het ek vir God gevra, “Maak my ‘n filantroop”?

Before going on, I believe that there are a few of you that we have left behind. You are still staring in disbelief that I not only read a fortune cookie, but that I saved it, and believed God sent me that message in answer to my prayer.

Voordat ek aangaan, ek glo dat daar ‘n paar van julle is wat agter gelaat is. Jy staar nog steeds in ongeloof dat ek nie net ‘n fortuin koekie gelees het nie, maar dat ek dit gespaar het, en geglo het dat God vir my daardie boodskap gestuur het in antwoord op my gebed.

Darling, if this is you, God doesn’t really care about religious things like this; did you know that? Remember all the issues He has with the churches in Revelation? Yet if you read it, you will find that His focus was that their heart was to impress others with their “good works” that led to them leaving their first Love!

Liefling, as dit jy is, God gee nie regtig om oor godsdienstige goed soos dit nie; het jy dit geweet? Onthou al die aangeleenthede wat Hy met die kerke in Openbaring gehad het? Tog as jy dit lees, sal jy vind dat Sy fokus was dat hulle harte was om ander met hulle “goeie werke” te beindruk wat gelei het daartoe dat hulle hulle eerste Liefde gelos het!

Once you know, and embrace your first Love, your Precious Heavenly Husband, and experience His love, you know that all that matters to Him is also all that should matter to you—being His and His alone. And when you are in His and His alone, you no longer live under the law, but you are free from the law so that you actually soar right over it. Honestly, it is hard to explain to someone who has never experienced this, and because this is not what this chapter is supposed to be about, I will have to move on. But, if I have gotten your attention, and you want to know how to live like this, then read or reread Finding the Abundant Life and then Living the Abundant Life. Both these books and all my books are free as courses on RMI’s LoveAtLast.org ministry. Just another way to give.

Sodra jy weet, en jou eerste Liefde omhels, jou Kosbare Hemelse Man, en Sy liefde ervaar, weet jy dal al wat vir Hom saak maak is ook wat vir jou saak maak—om Syne en Syne alleen te wees. En wanneer jy Syne is en Syne alleen, lewe jy nie meer onder die wet nie, maar jy is vry van die wet sodat jy eintlik reg oor dit sweef. Eerlik, dit is moeilik om aan iemand te verduidelik wie dit nooit ervaar het nie, en omdta dit nie is waaroor die hoofstuk behoort te wees nie, ek sal moet aan beweeg. Maar, as ek jou aandag gekry het, en jy wil weet hoe om so te leef, lees en lees weer die Vind die Oorvloedige Lewe en dan Leef die Oorvloedige Lewe. Albei hierdie boeke en al my boeke is gratis kursusse op HBI se UitendelikHoop.org bediening. Net nog ‘n manier om te gee.

Now, to get us back on track, where was I? Oh, I had just said that when I began thinking of how much my back tithes would be, at first, they wanted to engulf me with horror and fear; however, I chose to turn it around and focus on all the giving that was up ahead. And boy, did I get excited!!!

Nou, kom ons keer terug, waar was ek? O, ek het so pas gesê dat wanneer ek begin dink aan  hoeveel my agterstallige tiendes sou wees, in die begin, wou hulle my oorweldig met gruwel en angs; nietemin, ek het gekies om dit om te keer en te fokus op al die gee wat vorentoe lê. En man, het ek opgewonde geraak!!! 

This began a giving frenzy!

Dit het ‘n gee dolheid begin!

Though God had transformed me into a giver years ago, after this revelation, I was almost out of control, but I was loving every part of it!

Alhoewel God my jare terug in ‘n gewer hervorm het, na hierdie openbaring, was ek amper buite beheer, maar ek was lief vir elke deel daarvan!

Giving became my passion. I gave big things, little things: time, money, and many of my possessions. If I had it, I gave it away. I gave to family, friends, enemies, and strangers.

Gee het my passie begin word, ek het groot goed, klein goed: tyd, geld, en so baie van my besittings gegee. As ek dit gehad het. Het ek dit vir familie, vriende, vyande, en vreemdelinge gegee.

Yet there was something I had that I didn’t know was holding me back. Something that was keeping me in bondage. Something that prevents us all from experiencing the freedom of a most precious kind. And a lot of it was founded on my giving frenzy.

Tog was daar iets wat ek gehad het wat ek nie geweet het my terughou nie. Iets wat my in slawerny gehou het. Iets wat almal van ons weerhou om die vryheid van ‘n mees kosbare soort te ervaar. En baie daarvan was gestig op my gee dolheid.

Most of us are not comfortable with receiving.

Meeste van ons is nie gemaklik met ontvang nie.

The majority of Christians are only comfortable with giving, and I was no exception. Yet the Bible tells us many times, specifically and theoretically, that we need to be able to do both, to be well-balanced, smack dab in the center of the narrow road, such as we see in the life of the apostle, Paul.

Die meerderheid van Christene is net gemaklik met gee, en ek was geen uitsondering nie. Tog die Bybel sê baie kere vir ons, spesifiek en teoreties, dat ons nodig het en in staat om albei te doen, om goed-geballanseer te wees, klap druppel in die middel van die nou pad, soos wat ons sien in die lewe van die apostel, Paulus.

 “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need” (Philippians 4:12).

“Ek weet wat armoede is en ek weet wat oorvloed is; van alles het ek ondervinding: om genoeg te hê om te eet sowel as om honger te ly, om oorvloed te hê sowel as om gebrek te ly” (Filippense 4:12).

Knowing we all have trouble with this principle of receiving, rather than give to friends in need, many times I was forced to agree to “lend” Christians the money. In their minds (and what allowed them to accept what I wanted to just “give” them), it meant that they were “planning” to pay it back. Again, this was due to them not knowing how to accept freely because they never felt comfortable with receiving.

Wetend dat ons almal moeilikheid het met hierdie beginsel van ontvang, eerder as om vir vriende in nood te gee, was ek baie keer geforseer om in te stem om vir Christene die geld te “leen.” In hulle verstand (en wat hulle toegelaat het om te aanvaar wat ek net vir hulle wou “gee”), het dit beteken dat hulle “beplan” het om dit terug te gee. Weer, was dit omdat hulle nie geweet het hoe om vrylik te aanvaar nie omdat hulle nie gemaklik was met ontvang nie.

Years earlier I had learned another Bible principle that we are supposed to just give, not lend at all (Luke 6:34-38, Deuteronomy 23:19-20) What I love about following the principle of giving rather than lending is because you are instantly set free from the bondage of expecting the payment returned to you. Expecting and not receiving what is “owed” is normally the cause of relationships that end bitterly. Am I right? Nevertheless, if someone wants to borrow, we need to lend (Matthew 5:42).

Jare vantevore het ek nog ‘n Bybel beginsel geleer dat ons veronderstel was om net te gee, en glad nie te leen nie (Lukas 6:34-38, Deuteronomium 23:19-20) Waarvoor ek lief is om die beginsel van gee eerder as leen te volg is omdat jy onmiddellik vrygestel is van die slawerny om te verwag dat die paaiement aan jou teruggegee gaan word. Deur te verwag en nie te ontvang wat “geskuld” is nie is gewoonlik die rede wat verhoudings bitter eindig. Is ek reg? Nietemin, as iemand wil leen, moet ons uitleen (Mateus 5:42).

And because I had always given to others with this mindset, to give and not expect that it would be paid back, is why I forgot that anyone owed me anything. This principle was the next lesson I needed to learn and live.

En omdat ek altyd aan ander met hierdie ingesteldheid gegee het, om te gee en nie te verwag dat dit terug betaal sou word nie, is waarom ek vergeet dat enigiemand my enigiets skuld. Hierdie beginsel was die volgende les wat ek nodig gehad het om te leer en uit te leef.