Dag 13 Wees Aangemoedig eVideo 3

Day 13

Dag 13

"Be Encouraged" eVideo 3

“Wees Aangemoedig” eVideo 3

but first 2 Restored Marriage Testimonies!

maar eers 2 Herstelde Huweliks Getuienisse!

 

"I Had to be Broken"

''Ek moes Gebroke Wees”

The story of Phil and Cindy goes back a long way with a lot of ups and downs. Our marriage was not built on that Rock that we are supposed to build our house and lives upon. Even though when we started dating I prayed a lot about it and my sister and my mother said that God told them he was the one for me I had no clue what the Bible said regarding marriage.

Die storie van Phil en Cindy gaan ‘n lang pad terug met baie op en af. Ons huwelik was nie op daardie Rots gebou waarop ons veronderstel was om ons huise en lewens op te bou nie. Alhoewel toe ons begin uitgaan het het ek baie daaroor gebid en my suster en ma het vir my gesê dat God vir hulle gesê het dat hy die man vir my was Ek het geen idee gehad wat die Bybel oor die huwelik gesê het nie.  

So after a bunch of hurdles and our daughter being almost 2, we were married, this was almost 12 years ago. 

So na ‘n klomp probleme en ons dogtertjie wat amper 2 is, is ons getroud, dit was amper 12 jaar gelede.

Well-let's jump forward. Due to a bunch of living outside of the life that I know God wanted us to live, our marriage fell apart. My husband couldn't tell me he loved me, rarely was intimate (I know we aren't supposed to degrade our spouse, just telling the story) and I sadly cheated a few times on my marriage. I knew I loved him, but didn't know how to feel better about myself. I know now that this is not the way to do it.

Wel-kom ons spring vorentoe. As gevolg van buite die lewe te leef wat God wou gehad het ons moet lewe, het ons huwelik uitmekaar geval. My man kon nie vir my sê dat hy lief is vir my nie, en ons was skaars intiem (ek weet ons is nie veronderstel om ons gade  af te gradeer nie, ek vertel net die storie) en ek het droewiglik ‘n paar keer in my huwelik my man verneuk. Ek het geweet dat ek lief vir hom was, maar ek het nie geweet hoe om beter oor myself te voel nie . Ek het geweet dat dit nie die manier was om dit te doen nie.  

After he found out I cheated (my best friend of 16 years told him) I left and hooked up with an old boyfriend. That relationship was doomed from the start. He was an alcoholic, horribly dysfunctional children (one daughter had a 3 year old at 20 and she addicted to heroin) etc.

Nadat hy uitgevind het dat ek op hom verneuk het (my beste vriendin van 16 jaar het hom vertel) het ek hom gelos en met ‘n ou kêrel deurmekaar geraak. Daardie verhouding was van die begin af verdoem. Hy was ‘n alkolis, verskriklike wanfunksie kinders (een dogter het ‘n 3jarige gehad op die ouderdom van 20 en sy was aan heroïne verslaaf) ens. 

I learned very quickly that this wasn't how I wanted to live either.

Ek het gou geleer dat dit ook nie was hoe ek wou lewe nie. 

As you can see, I had to be broken. I was a gypsy. Running away from one place to the next for a year. I finally came to stay at my girlfriend's house. I was always alone and when you are alone that much you really start to think. Too much. 

Soos jy kan sien, ek moet gebroke word. Ek was ‘n  gipsy en het vir ‘n jaar weggehardloop van die een plek na die ander. Ek het finaal by ‘n vriendin se huis gaan bly. Ek was altyd alleen en wanneer jy so baie alleen is begin jy regtig om te dink. Te veel.   

It was SuperBowl Sunday and my ex husband was texting me from a party he went to. All the sudden he quit texting. I thought he had met someone or took someone home with him. Whatever the case my brain started working over time. 

Dit was SuperBowl Sondag en my eks man het my van ‘n partytjie waarheen hy na toe gegaan het ‘n boodskap gestuur. Ewe skielik het hy opgehou om boodskappe te stuur. Ek het gedink dat hy iemand ontmoet het of iemand saam hom huistoe gevat het. Watookal die geval my brein het begin oortyd werk.

I looked up his cell phone as we still share the same bill to see if he was texting anyone and ignoring me and I saw he had been texting someone new. They always texted him first, but when he was telling me he was going to bed he was still texting this person. 

Ek het op sy selfoon gekyk aangesien ons albei nog dieselfde rekening deel om te sien of hy besig was om vir iemand boodskappe te stuur en my te ignoreer en ek het gesien dat hy vir iemand nuut begin boodskappe stuur het. Hulle het altyd eerste ‘n boodskap gestuur, maar toe hy my vertel het hy gaan bed toe was hy nog steeds besig om vir hierdie persoon boodskappe te stuur.

(My daughter told me later that it was an old guy friend from his younger days, that he reconnected with) but the enemy knew my weaknesses and schemed to use them to further destroy me. However, God was using this to get my attention.

(My dogter het my later verel dat dit ‘n ou vriend is uit sy jonger dae wat weer met hom in verbinding getree het) maar die vyand het geweet wat my swakhede was en gekonkel om dit te gebruik om my verder te vernietig. Nietmin, God het dit gebruik om my aandag te kry.

All of this put me in tailspin and I realized that I could lose what was most precious to me. My family. 

Dit het my alles in ‘n draaiduik geplaas en ek het besef dat ek kon verloor wat mees kosbaar vir my was. My familie. 

I looked for prayer help online. I knew I needed to reconnect with God and quick. I needed to rebuild my marriage and my family and do it right. 

Ek het vir gebed aanlyn gesoek. Ek het geweet dat ek weer my met God moes verbind en gou. Ek moes my huwelik en my familie herbou en dit reg doen. 

Praise God I was soon found a site for prayer and someone left me the hopeatlast.com site.

Prys God ek het gou ‘n webwerf vir gebed gevind en iemand het vir my die hoopuiteindelik.com site gelos.

All of the resources from this site were my saving grace. I learned how to keep my mouth shut (even though I failed at times), I quit texting and calling my husband but instead always let him contact me. And I drenched myself in the word. 

Al die hulpbronne van hierdie site was my redding. Ek het geleer hoe om my mond toe te hou (alhoewel ek somtyds gefaal het), ek het opgehou om my man te skakel en vir hom boodskappe te stuur maar in plaas daarvan het ek altyd toegelaat dat hy my kontak. En ek het myself in die woord deurweek.

In fact I somehow messed up my lessons in order and ended up doing a bunch at once, at times, trying to figure it all out. This was God helping me go over the same lessons again and again, the ones I really needed to renew my mind.

Om die waarheid te sê ek het op een of ander manier my lesse opgemors en opgeeindig om, somtyds, ‘n hele klomp op een slag te doen. Dit was God wat my gehelp het om oor dieselfde lesse oor en oor te gaan, die wat ek regtig noddig gehad het om my gedagtes te hernu. 

The whole thing, as you can imagine, has been difficult process. My ex went from praying and fasting begging God that I would return to him, to cold and uncaring. I would hear that we weren't meant to be together and are just made to hurt each other, etc.

Die hele ding, soos jy jouself kan voorstel, was ‘n moeilike proses. My eks het gegaan van bid en vas en God smeek dat ek na hom toe sou teruggaan, na kil en nie omgee nie. Ek moes hoor dat ons nie bedoel was om saam te wees nie en net gemaak om mekaar seer te maak, ens.

When my dog died all I had was a text saying "I'm putting your dog down today." This is why this ministry teaches us to focus on the LORD and not on our circumstances. There is a spiritual battle going on and if we put too much on what we see or hear, we are doomed.

Toe my hond dood is al wat ek gekry het ‘n boodskap wat sê “ek gaan vandag jou hond uitsit.” Dit is hoekom hierdie ministerie ons leer om op die HERE te fokus en nie op ons omstandighede nie. Daar is ‘n spirituele geveg wat aangaan en as ons te veel plaas op wat ons sien of hoor, is ons verdoem.

Yet, through all of this turmoil I finally learned a lot about prayer. I asked for a lot of prayer and then finally learned what was more powerful is when I prayed a lot on my own. I finally learned that my husband was not the one to blame for our break up, because even though he didn't say it, he was also blaming himself. So I had to pray for him to forgive himself. This is something he has a hard time with. He holds himself accountable a lot. I had to pray for him to have a soft heart for both himself and for me. 

Tog, deur al hierdie onrus het ek finaal baie oor gebed geleer. Ek het vir baie gebed gevra en toe finaal geleer wat meer kragtig was is wanneer ek baie op my eie gebid het. Ek het finaal geleer dat my man nie te blameer was vir ons opbreek nie, omdat alhoewel hy dit nie gesê het nie, het hy homself ook blameer. So ek moes vir hom bid om homself te vergewe. Dit is iets waarmee hy ‘n moeilike tyd het. Hy hou homself aanspreeklik vir baie. Ek moes  bid vir hom om ‘n sagte hart te hê vir albei van ons.

On Spring break I couldn't bring my daughter to my house because I found out that my roommate was a huge pot smoker. My ex is a cop and this was unacceptable for my daughter as you can imagine.

Gedurende Lente breek kon ek nie my dogter na die huis toe bring nie omdat ek uitgevind het dat my kamermaat ‘n groot dagga roker was. My eks is ‘n polisieman en dit was onaanvaarbaar vir my dogter soos jy jouself kan voorstel.

So I came and stayed with my daughter at my ex's house. Needless to say, we had a great week. No contention—nothing but fun. I made sure to have dinner ready when he would get home, bought flowers for the table, etc. It was a great time. We even went and had a date night, just the two of us and had a lot of fun.

So ek het saam my dogter by my eks se huis gebly. Noodeloos om te sê ons het ‘n wonderlike week gehad. Geen twis--niks maar pret. Ek het seker gemaak om aandete gereed te hê wanneer hy by die huis gekom het, het blomme vir die tafel gekoop, ens. Dit was ‘n wonderlike tyd. Ons het selfs ‘n afspraak aand gehad, net die twee van ons en het baie pret gehad. 

The turning point was when my roommate lost her job and messed up her unemployment, which meant I had to move. I told my ex and he made a "deal" for me to live with my daughter at his home. This was to allow us both to get our debt paid off. Of course it was not ideal, but my hope was that after the debt was paid off, that God would turn his heart and not want me to go. 

So this wasn't the reconciliation that I wanted. I would love to say he said "I love you, come home" but I am "home" yet, instead I am determined to make the best of of this opportunity to remain pure and hope that soon he will ask me stay together as a couple. 

Due to living under the same roof, my husband said he seen the changes in me and I am going to continue to take each step and ask the Lord to guide me in each step I take.

Omdat ons onder dieselfde dak gebly het, het my man gesê dat hy die veranderinge in my gesien het en ek gaan voortgaan om elke tree te neem en die Here te vra om my te lei in elke tree wat ek vat.

The lessons are what helped me the most. It put the books in smaller doses, which help when you have a busy life and so much to learn.

Die lesse is wat my die meeste gehelp het. Ek het die boeke in kleiner dosisse geplaas, wat help wanneer jy ‘n besige lewe het en so baie om te leer.

In conclusion, I would say that whenever our husbands are telling us that they don't love us, or don't think we are meant to be together— that's when you need to remember that what God has brought us through, and that it says man cannot separate. Whether we see it or not, we are unified by God as a married couple, therefore we owe that union and be willing to fight for it by doing what is right.

Ter afsluiting, sou ek sê dat wanneer ons mans vir ons sê dat hulle ons nie liefhet nie, of dink nie ons is bedoel om saam te wees nie, is ons verenig deur God as ‘n getroude paartjie, daarom skuld ons dit aan daardie eenwording en moet gewillig wes om te baklei vir wat reg is.

Letting go is hard, especially when you love someone but, if you ask God for that faith, for that mercy and grace, get on your knees and make sure He knows that no matter what comes down in your life, that you will remain steadfast with God—He will not lose you or give up on what He promised.

Om te laat gaan is moeilik, spesiaal wanneer jy iemand liefhet maar, as jy God vra vir daardie gloof, vir daardie genade en guns, gaan op jou knieë en maak seker dat Hy weet dat dit nie saak maak wat in jou lewe gebeur nie, dat jy standvastig met God bly—Hy sal jou nie verloor of opgee op wat Hy belowe het nie.

~ Cindy in Arizona

Ministry Note: We have been in contact with Cindy to warn her about the dangers of living with an ex-husband, knowing the dangers of intimacy before remarrying and the ongoing temptation living under one roof.

Ministerie Nota: Ons was in kontak met Cindy om haar te waarsku oor die gevare om saam ‘n eks-man te bly, wetend wat die gevare van intimiteit is voordat jy weer trou en die aangaande versoeking om onder een dak te bly.

We also shared Sabrina in Georgia, which was found in Chapter 1, Newly RESTORED testimony, which we would encourage you to read.

Ons het ook Sabrina in Georgia, wat in Hoofstuk 1, gevind kan word se Nuut HERSTELDE getuienis gedeel, wat ons jou sal aanmoedig om te lees.

However, each person must walk their Restoration Journey as the Lord leads us, which is why we share the truth and leave the rest to the LORD rather than interfering it in. It's our mistakes that bring about the strongest convictions and deeper understanding of His mercy—which is why we encourage wives not to interfere with the journey their husbands are on. 

Nietemin, elke persoon moet hulle Herstelde Reis loop soos wat die Here ons lei, wat die rede is hoekom ons die waarheid deel en die res aan die HERE oorlos eerder as om daarmee in te meng. Dit is ons foute wat die sterkste veroordeling bring en ‘n dieper versandhouding van Sy genade—wat die rede is hoekom ons vrouens nie aanmoedig om met die reis in te meng waarop hule mans is nie. 

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”

“Ek is veral ook daarvan oortuig dat God, wat die goeie werk in julle begin het, dit end-uit sal voer en dit voleindig op die dag wanneer Jesus Christus kom” 

—Philippians 1:6

—Filippense 1:6

Ministry Note 2: Thankfully the Lord never fails. Not too long after trusting Him to convict Cindy, it was her husband Phil who felt convicted and remarried his ex-wife. Thank You Lord!

Ministerie Nota 2: Dankbaar faal die Here nooit nie. Ook nie te lank nadat  op Hom vertrou is om Cindy te oortuig, was dit haar man Phil wat die oortuiging gevoel het en weer met sy eks-vrou getrou het. Dankie Here!  

Be Encouraged

Wees Aangemoedig 

Video Series 3/1

PLEASE paste in this password (BELOW)

Kopieër die wagwoord ASSEBLIEF (HIER ONDER) 

to access the Be Encouraged Classic video:

om toegang to die Wees Aangemoedig Klassieke video te kry: 

BE.3P1

Then click the PLAY button.

Klik dan die SPEEL knoppie.

If you cannot see the video, go to: http://vimeo.com/1618301

As jy nie die video kan sien nie gaan na: http://vimeo.com/1618301

Be Encouraged

Wees Aangemoedig 

Video Series 3/2

PLEASE paste in this password (BELOW)

Kopieër die wagwoord ASSEBLIEF (HIER ONDER) 

to access the Be Encouraged Classic video:

om toegang to die Wees Aangemoedig Klassieke video te kry: 

BE3P2

Then click the PLAY button.

Klik dan die SPEEL knoppie.

If you cannot see the video, go to: http://vimeo.com/1618204

As jy nie die video kan sien nie gaan na: http://vimeo.com/1618204

Then come back and take a moment to submit YOUR video review!

Kom dan terug en neem ‘n oomblik om jou video revue in te handig!

Don't perish for a lack of knowledge. If you skim over the instructions, without reading them carefully (this goes for all our lessons), then you will find yourself lost, frustrated and falling into the same pattern that led to your marriage crumbling. Seek God to show you what is wrong. Do NOT contact us. This is an opportunity to allow the Lord to guide you and to prove to Him you will be seeking Him and no one else.

Moet nie onder gaan vir ‘n gebrek aan kennis nie. As jy die instruksies afskeep, sonder om hulle versigtig te lees (dit gaan vir al ons lesse), dan sal jy verlore voel, gefrustrereerd en in dieselfde patroon val wat gelei het to die verkrummeling van jou huwelik. Streef God na om jou te wys wat verkeerd is. Moet ons NIE kontak nie. Dit is ‘n geleentheid om die Here toe te laat om jou te lei en aan hom tebewys dat jy Hom sal nastreef en niemand anders nie. 

Please note: Video 6 part 2 is the last video in this video series. 

Neem kennis: Video 6 deel 2 is die laaste in die video reeks.

Most frequently asked Q&A

Mees gereelde V&A gevra