Hoofstuk 5 “Liefde Bedek”

Rules without relationship equals rebellion.

Reëls sonder verhouding is gelykstaande aan rebellie.

The Israelites were rebellious while Moses, and later Joshua, obeyed God. Why?

Die Israeliete was rebels terwyl Moses, en later Josua, God gehoorsaam het. Waarom?

There are so many religions and “religious” people in the world; yet many live in deep sin. Why?

Daar is so baie godsdienste en “godsdienstige” mense in die wêreld; tog lewe baie in diep sonde. Waarom?

The difference is a relationship of love!  Moses and Joshua had a relationship; they loved God. But the Israelites only feared God. They wanted Moses, and later, Joshua to intercede on their behalf. It caused them to murmur, complain and sin.

Die verskil is ‘n verhouding van liefde! Moses en Josua het ‘n verhouding gehad; hulle was lief vir God. Maar die Israeliete het net God gevrees. Hulle wou Moses gehad het, en later, het Joshua om hulle onthalwe tussenbeide getree. Dit het hulle veroorsaak om te murmureer, kla en sondig. 

The best thing you can do for your child, and for yourself, is to build a strong “love relationship” with the Lord and then with your children.

Die beste ding wat jy vir jou kind kan doen, en vir jouself, is om ‘n sterk  “ liefdesverhouding” met die Here te hê en dan met jou kinders.

Love Your Child
Wees Lief vir Jou Kind

It was only recently that I lost my mother. She, too, was the mother of seven children and she ADORED her children as much as I do mine! It was from watching her example that I learned most of my techniques for expressing love to my children.

Dit was net onlangs dat ek my moeder verloor het. Sy, was, ook, die moeder van sewe kinders en sy het haar kinders ADOREER soveel as wat ek myne doen! Dit was deur haar voorbeeld dop te hou waar ek meeste van my tegnieke om my liefde aan my kinders uit te druk geleer het.

One day about a year or two before she died, my mother spoke to me urgently pleading with me to teach the mothers to “LOVE THEIR CHILDREN!”

Een dag omtrent ‘n jaar of twee voor sy dood is, het my moeder met my gepraat en dringend gesmeek om die moeders te leer om “HULLE KINDERS LIEF TE Hê”

It broke my mother’s heart to see so many little children desperate for love. Instead of being loved, they were shunned, pushed away, reprimanded, shamed, threatened and abandoned. Now I feel absolutely the same way. WHAT A WASTE! What a horrible tragedy. To think that these women (maybe even you) have children who are sitting right under their noses desperate for love, but they are oblivious or indifferent to their needs.

Dit het my moeder se hart gebreek om so baie klein kinders te sien desperaat vir liefde. In plaas van liefde was hulle vermy, weggestoot, berispe, in die skande gesteek, gedreig, en verlaat. Nou voel ek absoluut dieselfde. WAT ‘N VERMORSING! Wat ‘n aaklige tragedie. Om te dink dat hierdie vrouens (miskien selfs jy) wat kinders het wat reg onder hulle neuse sit desperaat vir liefde, maar hulle is onbewus of onverskillig vir hulle behoeftes.

Let me also explain that the “little children” that she referred to could be over six feet tall! My mother loved CHILDREN, period, and she “mothered” me until the day she died. She always gave me love, attention and encouragement. She always showed me THROUGH her actions and attitude that she LOVED me! I was devoted to her, just as my children are devoted to me.

Laat my ook verduidelik dat die “klein kinders” waarna sy verwys het kan oor 1.8 m lank wees!! My moeder was LIEF vir kinders, stop, en sy het my “gemoeder” tot die dag wat sy dood is. Sy het my altyd liefde, aandag en bemoediging gegee. Sy het my altyd DEUR haar AKSIES en houding gewys dat sy LIEF was vir my! Ek was aan haar toegewy, net soos wat my kinders aan my toegewy is. 

Where do you begin? 

Waar begin jy?        

As always when building, we need to build a foundation. We need to build our “foundation” of love. As parents, we must decide to love, and then discipline ourselves to build a strong foundation of love for our children. If we fail to invest love in our children, we will not only miss out on the joy of motherhood, but we will face major consequences. When unconditional love is withheld, our children exhibit resistance and rebellion. We then face opposition to our teaching, training and correcting them. Therefore, unconditional love MUST be our foundation.

Soos altyd wanneer jy bou, moet ons ‘n fondament bou. Ons moet ons “fondament” van liefde bou. As ouers, moet ons besluit om lief te hê, en onsself dissiplineer om ‘n sterk fondament van liefde vir ons kinders te bou. As ons misluk om liefde in ons kinders te belê, sal ons nie net uitmis op die vreugde van moederskap nie, maar ons sal groot nagevolge in die gesig staar. Wanneer onvoorwaardelike liefde weerhou is, stal ons kinders weerstand en rebellie ten toon. Ons staar dan opposisie in die gesig wanneer ons hulle leer, opvoed en korrigeer. Daarom, MOET onvoorwaardelike liefde ons fondament wees.

Rules without relationship equals rebellion!
Reëls sonder verhoudings is gelyk aan rebellie!

We love, because He first loved us. The foundation of love is found in 1John 4:19: “We love, because He first loved us.” We are loved first by God; we, in turn, love Him. Similarly, our children cannot give love without being loved first. When I am the first to give love to my child, my child in turn will learn to love.

Ons het lief omdat God ons eerste liefgehad het. Die fondament van liefde word in 1Johannes 4:19 gevind. “Ons het lief omdat God ons eerste liefgehad het.” Ons word eerste deur God lief gehê; ons, op ons beurt, is lief vir Hom. Eenders, kan ons kinders nie liefde gee sonder om eers lief gehê te wees nie. Wanneer ek eerste is om liefde aan my kind te gee, sal my kinders op hulle beurt leer om lief te hê.

An example. The Lord gave us an example that we are to follow. “For you have been called for this purpose…leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps.” 1Pet. 2:21. It was the love that the Lord had for His Father that resulted in His obedience to His Father’s will. “And He was saying, ‘Abba! Father! All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt.’ ” Mark 14:36. Love motivates obedience, even to the point of death and to the point of dying to self.

‘n Voorbeeld. Die Here het vir ons ‘n voorbeeld gegee wat ons moet volg. “Juis hiervoor is julle ook geroep, … sodat julle in Sy voetspore kan volg.” 1 Petrus 2:21. Dit was die liefde wat die Here vir Sy Vader gehad het wat veroorsaak het dat Hy gehoorsaam was aan Sy Vader se wil. “Hy het gesê: “Abba, Vader, alles is vir U moontlik. Neem hierdie lydensbeker van My af weg. Moet nogtans nie doen wat Ek wil nie, maar wat U wil.’” Markus 14:36. Liefde motiveer gehoorsaamheid selfs tot op die punt van die dood en tot die punt om die self dood te maak.

Isn’t it true that as we grow more in love with our Lord, we are motivated to righteous living? Our children will do the same in obedience to us as parents and in obedience to the One we serve, Jesus Christ.

Is dit nie waar dat soos wat ons meer in liefde met ons Here groei, word ons gemotiveer om regverdig te lewe? Ons kinders sal dieselfde doen in gehoorsaamheid aan ons as ouers en in gehoorsaamheid aan die Een wie ons dien, Jesus Christus.

I had always wondered why children of godly parents (parents that without a doubt followed God's Word on discipline) still went astray?

Ek het altyd gewonder waarom kinders van goddelike ouers (ouers wat sonder twyfel God se Woord oor dissipline gevolg het) nog steeds gedwaal?

Could it sometimes have to do with an inadequate expression of love? Of course, most parents love their children, but does it show? How do they look at their child? Do they express loving words? How much time do they spend with their child? The bottom line is: does their child feel loved?

Kan dit somtyds te doen hê met ‘n onvoldoende uitdrukking van liefde? Natuurlik,  is meeste ouers lief vir hulle kinders, maar wys dit? Hoe kyk hulle na hulle kind? Druk hulle liefdevolle woorde uit? Hoeveel tyd spandeer hulle met hulle kind? Die punt is: voel hulle kind geliefd?

A blessing or curse? In Lesson 12, “Fruit of The Womb,” in A Wise Woman Builds Her House, it shows that God's Word tells us that children are a blessing. However, our society tells us differently. What do you believe? Do you parrot the worldly comments of those who practice feminism? How do you respond if someone asks if you want MORE children?

‘n Seën of vloek? In Les 12, “Vrugte van die Baarmoeder,” in ‘n Wyse Vrou Bou Haar Huis, wys dit dat God se Woord vir ons sê dat kinders ‘n seën is. Nietemin, vertel ons samelewing ons iets anders. Wat glo jy? Na aap jy die wêreldse kommentaar van die wat feministe uitoefen? Hoe reageer jy as iemand jou vra of jy NOG kinders wil hê.

What you say in front of your children and what you say behind their backs determines what results you will obtain. You will need to ask yourself “What does my attitude toward my children convey to them? Do I say one thing to my children, say something else to others, and, at the same time, dread the thought of any more children?”

Wat jy voor jou kinders sê en agter hulle rug sal vasstel watter resultate jy sal verkry. Jy sal jouself moet vra “Wat dra my houding teenoor my kinders oor aan hulle?” Sê ek een ding vir my kinders, en iets anders vir iemand anders, en, op dieselfde tyd, vrees die gedagte van meer kinders?”

“For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:7-8.

“So 'n mens wat altyd aan die twyfel is en onbestendig is in al sy doen en late, moet nie dink dat hy iets van die Here sal ontvang nie.” Jakobus 1:7-8.

What then is love? We are told about love in our books, movies and media. Everyone tells us what they think love is. But shouldn’t we go to the Author of love for the true description? “And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the Truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1Cor. 13:2-8.

Wat is liefde dan? Ons word in boeke, rolprente en die media vertel van liefde. Almal vertel ons wat hulle dink liefde is. Maar behoort ons nie na die Skrywer van liefde te gaan vir die ware beskrywing? “Al het ek die gawe van profesie en ken ek al die geheimenisse en besit ek al die kennis, en al het ek al die geloof om berge te versit, maar ek het geen liefde nie, dan is ek niks. Al deel ek al wat ek het aan ander uit, en al gee ek my liggaam prys om my daarop te kan beroem, maar ek het geen liefde nie, baat dit my niks. Die liefde is geduldig, die liefde is vriendelik; dit is nie afgunstig nie, is nie grootpraterig nie, is nie verwaand nie. Dit handel nie onwelvoeglik nie, soek nie sy eie belang nie, is nie liggeraak nie, hou nie boek van die kwaad nie. Dit verbly hom nie oor onreg nie, maar verheug hom oor die waarheid. Dit bedek alles, glo alles, hoop alles, verdra alles. Die liefde vergaan nooit nie, maar die gawe van profesie sal verdwyn, die gawe om ongewone tale en klanke te gebruik, sal ophou, en dié van kennis sal uitgedien raak. (1 Kor.13:2-8).

Love Is....
Liefde Is….

Many years ago, the phrase “Love is...” was popular. As we read in 1Cor. 13 love is many things. It is quite clear that love is…more than just a feeling as we have been told. Love is an action or reaction we make toward others. Let’s look deeper into the words that are in bold in the preceding Scripture and apply these when dealing with our children.

Baie jare gelede, was die frase “Liefde is…” baie populêr. Soos wat ons in 1Kor. 13 lees die liefde is baie dinge. Dit is heeltemal duidelik dat liefde is…meer as net ‘n gevoel soos wat ons gesê is. Liefde is ‘n aksie of reaksie wat ons teenoor ander maak. Kom ons kyk dieper in die woorde wat in vetdruk in die voorafgaande Skriftuur geskryf is en wend dit aan wanneer ons met ons kinders afreken.

Patient. Patience is a reaction. Patience is definitely more than a necessity when dealing with children. We only need to look at the parents we see in public with their children to see that patience is in very low supply today. If these parents are this fed up with their children in public, how do they act in private?

Geduld. Geduld is ‘n reaksie. Geduld is definitief meer as noodsaaklik wanneer ons met kinders afreken. Ons hoef net na die ouers te kyk wat ons in die publike sien met hulle kinders om te sien dat geduld vandag in lae voorraad is. As hierdie ouers so siek en sat is met hulle kinders in die publiek, hoe reageer hulle in privaat?

So many women belittle and sound exasperated when talking to their children even when they KNOW they can be overheard by others! Many children feel unloved and unwanted. The following verse is a perfect prescription for a mother to use with her children: “And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men.” 1Ths. 5:14. “And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged….” 2Tim. 2:24.

So baie vrouens verkleineer en klink geïrriteerd wanneer hulle met ander kinders praat selfs wanneer hulle WEET dat hulle deur ander gehoor kan word! Baie kinders voel ongeliefd en ongewens. Die volgende vers is ‘n perfekte voorskrif vir ‘n moeder om met haar kinders te gebruik: “ Ons druk julle dit op die hart, broers: Wys die leeglêers onder julle tereg, praat die kleinmoediges moed in, help die swakkes, wees met almal geduldig.” 1 Tess. 5:14. “ 'n Dienaar van die Here moenie rusie maak nie. Inteendeel, hy moet vriendelik wees teenoor almal, bekwaam om ander te leer en iemand wat onreg kan dra…” 2Tim.2:24.

Kind. Kindness goes a long way when dealing with children. Sometimes, however, we seem to forget. “And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged….” 2Tim. 2:24. “…sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be dishonored.” Titus 2:5.

Vriendelik. Vriendelikheid gaan ‘n lang pad wanneer jy met kinders afhandel. Somtyds, nietemin, lyk dit asof ons vergeet.  “'n Dienaar van die Here moenie rusie maak nie. Inteendeel, hy moet vriendelik wees teenoor almal, bekwaam om ander te leer en iemand wat onreg kan dra…” 2Tim.2:24. “...verstandig en kuis, goeie huisvrouens, onderdanig aan hulle mans. Dan sal die woord van God nie in diskrediet kom nie.” Titus 2:5.

We must speak kindly and gently with our children. When training your child, it is important to get his attention first by calling his name. Then take the time to look at him lovingly in the eyes and speak kindly to him. This does not mean that we are to plead or beg for their obedience; it is merely the difference between speaking gentle words and barking out commands.

Ons moet vriendelik en saggies met ons kinders praat. Wanneer jy jou kind oplei, is dit belangrik om eers sy aandag te kry deur sy naam te roep. Dan die tyd te neem om liefdevol na hom in die oë te kyk en vriendelik met hom te praat. Dit beteken nie dat ons moet pleit of smeek vir hulle gehoorsaamheid nie; dit is sumier die verskil tussen sagte woorde te praat en bevele uit te blaf.

Many women tell me how AMAZED they are when they hear me talk to my children. They are overwhelmed and in awe of how I speak so sweetly and patiently to them throughout the day. They have even questioned my children alone to ask if I always speak to them in that manner. I deeply love my children and it shows by the way that I stay patient and kind with them.

Baie vrouens sê vir my hoe VERSTOM hulle is wanneer hulle hoor hoe ek met my kinders praat. Hulle is oorweldig en in verwondering van hoe ek so soet en geduldig met hulle dwarsdeur die dag praat. Hulle het selfs my kinders alleen bevraagteken om te vra of ek altyd so met hulle praat. Ek is innig lief vir my kinders en dit wys op die manier wat ek geduldig en vriendelik met hulle bly.

Not jealous. We should be keenly aware that favoritism can cause jealousy between siblings. If one child exhibits unfavorable habits, mannerisms or the like, it may cause you to favor his sibling(s). Instead, love your troubled child enough to work with him on his weaknesses. Or have you forgotten the discord in Joseph's family caused by favoritism? It resulted in a notorious jealousy! “And his brothers were jealous of him….” Gen. 37:11.

Nie afgunstig. Ons moet ywerig bewus wees dat begunstiging afguns tussen broers en susters veroorsaak. As een kind ongunstige gewoontes, maniere of soortgelyks ten toon stel, mag dit veroorsaak dat jy sy/haar broer of susters voortrek. In plaas daarvan, wees lief genoeg vir jou moeilike kind om saam hom/haar aan hulle swakhede te werk. Of het jy vergeet van die onenigheid in Josef se familie wat veroorsaak was deur begunstiging? Die resultaat was berugte afguns! “ Sy broers was afgunstig op hom …” Gen. 37:11  

Does not act unbecomingly. Acting unbecomingly has become commonplace in too many of our homes, as well as in public. Major “scenes” or “ranting and ravings” go on all too often instead of the gentle and quiet spirit God says He loves so much (1Pet. 3:4). Love your children enough to control your spirit and temper. Then control theirs until you can teach them to control their own. “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.” Prov. 25:28. “But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” 1Pet. 3:4.

Handel nie onwelvoeglik nie. Om onwelvoeglik te handel het algemeen in te veel van ons huise geword, sowel as in die publiek. Groot “scënes” of “tekere te gaan” gaan te dikwels aan in plaas van ‘n stille en sagmoedige gees wat by God groot waarde het. (1Pet. 3:4). Wees lief genoeg vir jou kinders om jou gees en jou humeur te beteul. Beteul hulle sin totdat hulle groot genoeg is om hulle eie te beteul.”  'n Stad sonder 'n muur om hom te beskerm, so weerloos is 'n mens as hy nie selfbeheersing het nie.” Spr, 25:28. “ Nee, julle skoonheid moet dié van die innerlike mens wees: blywende beskeidenheid en kalmte van gees. Dit het by God groot waarde.” 1Pet. 3:4.

Seek its own. We women are bombarded every day to “do our own thing” and have “our own life.” Only a few years ago, we would have called that attitude selfish and self-centered. Regardless of the popularity of this new concept, selfishness will reap only sorrow and regrets. God’s Word says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself….” Phil. 2:3.

Soek nie sy eie belang nie. Ons vrouens word elke dag gebombadeer om “ons eie ding te doen” en “ons eie lewe” te hê. Net ‘n paar jaar gelede, sou ons daardie houding selfsugtig en self-gesentreerd genoem het. Ongeag die populariteit van hierdie nuwe konsep, sal selfsugtigheid net hartseer en spyt oes. God se Woord sê “ Moet niks uit selfsug of eersug doen nie, maar in nederigheid moet die een die ander hoër ag as homself….” Fil. 2:3

Not provoked. How short is your fuse? Are you quick to fly off the handle? Is most of what you say in a raised voice? “A hot-tempered man [or mother] stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention.” Prov. 15:18. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” Prov. 16:32. “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” Prov. 19:11.

Nie liggeraak nie. Hoe kort is jou lont? Is jy gou om opvlieënd te raak? Is meeste van wat jy sê in ‘n verhewe stem? “ 'n Humeurige mens soek skoor; 'n verdraagsame mens maak rusies uit die wêreld.” Spr. 15:18. “'n Geduldige mens het meer waarde as 'n bedrewe vegter, 'n mens met selfbeheersing meer as iemand wat 'n stad inneem.” Spr. 16:32. “'n Verstandige mens beteuel sy humeur en stel sy eer daarin om vergewensgesind te wees.” Spr. 19:11

We must learn to be discreet when we are offended or disappointed by our children. “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” Prov. 11:22. Women in royalty are taught to control their feelings in public. Ladies, we are children of the King! We should therefore act accordingly in the presence of all others (in our homes and in public), and teach our children to do the same by our example and our training.

Ons moet leer om te oordeel wanneer ons kinders ons aanstoot gee of ons teleurgestel is. “Die skoonheid van 'n vrou sonder oordeel is soos 'n goue ring aan 'n vark se snoet.” Spr. 11:22. Vrouens in die koninklike familie word geleer om hulle gevoelens in die publiek te beheer. Dames, ons is kinders van die Koning! Daarom moet ons gevolglik optree in die teenwoordigheid van almal! (in ons huise en in die publiek), en ons kinders ler om dieselfde te doen deur ons voorbeeld en ons opleiding. 

Bears all things. The burdens of a mother can sometimes seem unbearable. However, with God's help, He expects us to bear these burdens. This is an opportunity to run to Him, not fall apart. “Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation. Selah.” Ps. 68:19. “For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly.” 1Pet. 2:19.

Bedek alles. Die laste van ‘n moeder kan somtyds onverdraagsaam lyk. Nietemin, met God se hulp, verwag Hy dat ons hierdie laste moet dra. Dit is ‘n geleentheid om na Hom toe te hardloop, en nie uitmekaar te val nie. “Geloof sy die Here! Dag na dag dra Hy ons! God is ons hulp! Ps. 68:19. “ Dit is genade as iemand die pyn van onverdiende lyding verduur omdat hy aan God getrou wil wees.” 1Pet. 2:19.

Believes all things. To follow Scripture when training, disciplining and correcting our children, will take faith. But praise God! We have His promise that we will not be disappointed! Phil. 1:6 says,  “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Authors and manufacturers tell us that following their directions or buying their products will change our lives. Trust our Creator and the Author of life to receive His Promises!

Glo alles. Om die Heilige Skrif te volg wanneer jy jou kinders onderrig, dissiplineer en korrigeer, sal geloof neem. Maar loof God! Ons het Sy belofte dat ons  nie teleurgesteld sal wees nie! Fil. 1:6 sê, “ Ek is veral ook daarvan oortuig dat God, wat die goeie werk in julle begin het, dit end-uit sal voer en dit sal voleindig op die dag wanneer Christus Jesus kom.” Skrywers en vervaardigers sê vir ons dat om hulle instruksies te volg of hulle prudukte te koop ons lewens sal verander. Vertrou op ons Skepper en die Skrywer van die Lewe om Sy Beloftes te ontvang!

Hopes all things. Our hope for our children must be in the Lord. As we follow Him in obedience to His Word and have faith that He will complete what He has begun in us and in our children, we know He will complete it. This is our hope! “The hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes.” Prov. 10:28. “Know that wisdom is thus for your soul; If you find it, then there will be a future, And your hope will not be cut off.” Prov. 24:14.

Hoop alles. Ons hoop vir ons kinders moet in die Here wees. Soos wat ons Hom volg in gehoorsaamheid aan Sy Woord en die geloof het dat Hy sal voltooi wat Hy in ons en ons kinders begin het, weet ons Hy sal dit voltooi. Dit is ons hoop! “Vir die regverdiges lê daar vreugde voor; die goddeloses het geen toekoms nie.” Spr. 10:28. “So smaak die kennis, die wysheid ook; as jy dié gekry het, het jy 'n toekoms, en jou hoop sal jou nie ontneem word nie.” Spr. 24:14

Endures all things. Motherhood is sometimes very difficult. When we feel we are at the end of our rope, God encourages us to hang on to Him. “But the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved.” Matt. 24:13. “And you will be hated by all on account of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved.” Mark 13:13.

Verdra alles. Moederskap is somtyds baie moeilik. Wanneer ons voel dat ons aan die einde van ons tou is, bemoedig God ons om aan Hom vas te hou. “ Maar wie tot die einde volhard, sal gered word.” Matt. 24:13. “Ja, julle sal ter wille van my Naam deur almal gehaat word. Maar wie tot die einde toe volhard, sal gered word.” Markus 3:13

Love never fails. This is our greatest promise: His love for us and our love for others, especially our love for our children, will never fail! “Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.” Prov. 10:12. “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.” Prov. 27:5. “Who is a God like Thee…He (God) delights in unchanging love.” Micah 7:18. Whenever I am unsure how I should deal with my children, I choose to react with love since I have the promise that it never fails!

Liefde vergaan nooit. Dit is ons grootste belofte: Sy liefde vir ons en ons liefde vir ander, spesiaal ons liefde vir ons kinders, sal nooit vergaan nie! “Haat verwek twis; liefde bedek alles wat aanstoot gee.” Spr. 10:12. “'n Openlike bestraffing is beter as liefde wat onsigbaar bly.” Spr. 27:5. “Wie is 'n God soos U? U vergewe sonde, U straf nie die sonde van dié wat uit u volk oorgebly het nie. U bly nie vir altyd kwaad nie, U betoon liefde.” Miga 7:18. Wanneer ookal ek onseker is hoe ek met my kinders moet afreken, kies ek om in liefde te reageer aangesien ek die belofte het dat dit nooit vergaan nie!

How do I convey my love to my children?
Hoe dra ek my liefde aan my kinders oor?

Many mothers give their children material possessions, but children need something else. They need you!

Baie moeders gee vir hulle kinders materiele besittings, maar kinders het iets anders nodig. Hulle het jou nodig!

Your time. The most important thing you can give to your child is your time. When we like someone, or love someone, we want to spend our time with him or her. Where is your time being spent most? Where does your child fall in the level of importance to you? If you wait for there to be time for your children, they may not be children any more! Then they will show their gratitude to you by having little or no time to spend with you. What could possibly be more important than that little boy or girl? We know we waste so much precious time on things that will mean absolutely nothing years from now. There is such a great reward in spending our time with our children. It is the greatest investment you could ever make. You will be investing in their future and your future too.

Jou tyd. Die mees belangrikste ding wat jy vir jou kind kan gee is jou tyd. Wanneer ons van iemand hou, of lief is vir iemand, wil ons ons tyd saam hom of haar spandeer. Waar word jou tyd die meeste gespandeer? Waar val jou kind in die vlak van belangrikheid vir jou? As jy wag vir daar om tyd vir jou kinders te wees, mag hulle dalk nie meer kinders wees nie! Dan sal hulle hulle dankbaarheid wys deur ‘n bietjie of min tyd te hê om saam hulle te spandeer. Wat kan moontlik meer belangrik wees as daardie kein dogtertjie of seuntjie? Ons weet ons mors soveel kosbare tyd op dinge wat jare van nou absoluut niks sal beteken nie. Daar is so ‘n groot beloning deur tyd met ons kinders te spandeer. Dit is die grootste belegging wat jy ooit kan maak. Jy sal in jou en hulle toekoms belê. 

Make eye contact. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” Ps. 32:8. We need to teach and instruct our children with our eyes. But how can we do that when most of our time is spent dropping our children off at a multitude of activities? Even if we do stay to watch, many times we are in deep and lively conversation with another mother. Our lives are hurried, stressful, too full, and much too tiring.

Maak oog kontak. Ek wil jou onderrig en jou die pad leer wat jy moet volg. Ek wil jou raad gee en my oog oor jou hou.” Ps. 32:8. Ons moet ons kinders onderrig en leer met ons oë.” Ps. 32:8. Maar hoe kan ons dit doen wanneer meeste van ons tyd spandeer word deur kinders by ‘n grootheid van aktiwiteite af te laai? Selfs al bly ons om te kyk, is ons die eeste van die tyd in diep en opgewekte gesprekken met ‘n ander moeder betrokke. Ons lewens is gejaagd, stresvol, te vol, en veels te afgetam.

If our children are never around because of sports, music lessons and other activities, how can we possibly instruct or guide them? We must make the time to look into their eyes, to show our love for them and to instruct them. They must know that they are the apple of our eye! David asked, “Keep me as the apple of the eye….” Ps. 17:8.

As ons kinders nooit in die omtrek is as gevolg van sports, musiek lesse en ander aktiwiteite, hoe kan ons hulle moontlik onderrig of lei? Ons moet die tyd maak en in hulle oë kyk, om ons liefde vir hulle te wys en hulle te onderrig. Hulle moet weet dat hulle die appel van ons oog is! Dawid het gevra, “Beskerm my soos die appel van u oog. . . .” Ps. 17:8.

All the activities and talents that seem to keep us so busy are usually temporary; therefore, they have only temporal value. “…while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2Cor. 4:18.

Al die aktiwiteite en talente wat lyk asof dit ons so besig hou is gewoonlik tydelik; daarom het dit tydelike waarde. “Ons oog is nie op die sigbare dinge gerig nie, maar op die onsigbare; want die sigbare dinge is tydelik, maar die onsigbare ewig. 2Kor 4:18.

Your touch. Your touch is very important. It has healing powers as well as comfort for your children.

Jou aanraking. Jou aanraking is baie belangrik. Dit het genesende kragte sowel as troos vir jou kinders.

“And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He might touch them….” Luke 18:15.

“Die mense het ook kindertjies na Jesus toe gebring dat Hy hulle moet aanraak . . . .” Lukas 18:15

“And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them….” Mark 10:13.

“Die mense het kindertjies na Jesus toe gebring dat Hy hulle moet aanraak. . . .” Markus 10:13.

“And they brought a blind man to Him, and entreated Him to touch him.” Mark 8:22.

“Hulle het in Betsaida aangekom, en toe bring die mense 'n blinde man na Jesus toe en vra Hom om hom aan te raak.” Markus 8:22.

“And all the multitude were trying to touch Him, for power was coming from Him and healing them all.” Luke 6:19.

“Al die mense het Hom probeer aanraak, omdat daar krag van Hom uitgegaan het en Hy almal gesond gemaak het.’ Lukas 6:19.

“But Jesus said, ‘Someone did touch Me, for I was aware that power had gone out of Me.’ ” Luke 8:46.

“Maar Jesus sê: “Iemand het My aangeraak, want Ek het agtergekom dat daar krag van My uitgegaan het.” Lukas 8:46.

Medicine or your comforting touch? Many mothers quickly turn to a drug or medicine when their child is in pain. I learned from my mother’s example that when a child has a headache or stomachache often he is hungry or tired. She would usually offer us something to eat or encourage us to lie down and take a nap rather than offering us a pain reliever.

Medisyne of jou vertroostende aanraking? Baie moeders keer gou na ‘n pil of medisyne wanneer hulle kind in pyn is, Ek het uit my moeder se voorbeeld geleer dat wanneer ‘n kind ‘n kopseer of maagpyn het hy dikwels honger of moeg is. Sy sou ons gewoonlik iets offer om te eet of ons aanmoedig om te gaan lê en ‘n slapie neem as om vir ons ‘n pynverlosser te gee.

If we were really sick, she would sit with us, sometimes all day. I remember laying my head on her lap while she would smooth my hair or rub my back. The loving touch of a mother is truly the strongest medicine for relieving pain. Studies even have proven that the human touch can relieve pain and even heal the body. However, most of us are too busy to sit. Our lives are in constant discord, and therefore our children’s only relief is found in a bottle of medicine.

As ons regtig siek is, sou sy by ons sit, somtyds die hele dag. Ek onthou hoe ek my kop op haar skoot gelê het terwyl sy my hare gestrel het of my rug gevryf het. Die liefdevolle aanraking van ‘n moeder is werklik die sterkste medisyne om pyn te verlig. Studies het selfs bewys dat menslike aanraking pyn kan verlig en die liggaam genees. Nietemin, meeste van ons is te besig om te sit. Ons lewens is in konstante onmin.

Because my mother allowed us to do without pain medication or other medicine for other ailments, she taught us to be able to handle and endure pain. So many children, who are not allowed to suffer the pain from teething or from other ailments as they grow, are unable to handle the pain or suffering as it increases later in life.

Omdat my moeder ons toegelaat het om sonder pyn medikasie of ander medisyne vir ander siektes te gaan, het sy ons geleer om pyn te hanteer en te verduur. So baie kinders, wie nie toeglaat word om onder pyn van tandesny of van ander siektes te ly soos wat hulle grootword, is nie in staat om die pyn en lyding soos wat dit later in die lewe vermeerder te hanteer nie.

My husband’s mother was one who used every sort of medicine. When we were first married, my husband had two of his wisdom teeth removed. It was so difficult for him; he refused to go back. Unfortunately, the two that remained grew in and crowded his “perfect” teeth. When he began having difficulty with them, he finally decided to have them out by being put partially to sleep. However, when he took the medication that usually knocked people unconscious, he was not affected one bit. The staff asked me privately if my husband had been a drug addict!!

My man se moeder was een wat elke sooort medisyne gebruik het. Toe ons pas getroud was het my man sy twee verstand tande laat verwyder. Dit was so moeilik vir hom; hy het geweier om terug te gaan. Ongelukkig het die twee wat agter gebly het ingegroei en het sy “perfekte” tande oorlaai. Toe hy begin het om moeilikheid met hulle te hê, het hy finaal besluit om hulle te laat uithaal deur gedeeltelik aan die slaap te wees. Nietemin, toe hy die medikasie neem wat gewoonlik mense bewusteloos maak, was hy glad nie affekteer nie. Die pesooneel wou weet of hy ‘n dwelmverslaafde was!!

Not running to the medicine chest, but using comfort instead, also teaches our children to seek relief from God’s comfort, a relationship, rather than numbing the pain. If we don’t allow children to experience pain, they are not prepared to deal with it as adults because they have never been allowed to grow with the pain.

Deur nie na die medisynekas te hardloop, maar om eerder troos te gebruik, leer ook ons kinders om verligting van God se vertroosing te kry, ‘n verhouding eerder as om die pyn te verdoof. As ons nie ons kinders toelaat om pyn te ervaar nie, is hulle nie voorbereid om as volwassenes met dit af te reken nie omdat hulle nooit toegelaat is om met die pyn groei nie. 

But to sit and stroke a child’s head takes time! But God’s ways are perfect. Usually God uses my sick child to MAKE ME sit down and bond with my child. He allowed it for my good, because He KNOWS what I need!

Maar om te sit en ‘n kind se kop te streel neem tyd! Maar God se maniere is perfek. Gewoonlik gebruik God my siek kind om MY te MAAK sit en met my kind te verbind. Hy het dit vir my ten goede toegelaat, omdat Hy WEET wat ek nodig het!

Loving discipline. We must also express our love for our children with loving discipline. “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent.” Rev. 3:19. Our children need our discipline so that others can love them as well. We have heard the saying: He is a son only a mother could love. A child who is undisciplined, unruly and lacking in self or parental control has been done a great disservice by his parents. It is especially shameful to the mother. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Prov. 29:15. Our children need us to train them so they can become responsible adults. This all takes time, patience and kindness. You will need to bear many things, believe many things, hope many things and endure many things, but that kind of love will never fail!

Liefdevolle Dissipline. Ons moet ook ons liefde vir ons kinders uitdruk met liefdevolle dissipline. “ Ek bestraf en tug elkeen wat Ek liefhet. Laat dit dan vir julle erns wees en bekeer julle.” Open. 3:19. Ons kinders het ons dissipline nodig sodat ander ook vir hulle liief kan wees. Ons het al die aanhaling gehoor: Hy is ‘n seun wat net ‘n moeder kan liefhê. ‘n Kind wat ongedissiplineerd, onhebbelik en tekort aan self of ouer beheersing het word ‘n groot ondiens deur sy ouers gedoen. Dit is besonders skandalig virr die moeder. “'n Pak slae en 'n teregwysing bring wysheid; 'n kind wat sonder dissipline grootword, steek sy moeder in die skande.” Spr. 29:15. Ons kinders het ons nodig om hulle op te lei sodat hulle verantwoordelike volwassenes kan word. Dit neem alles tyd, geduld en vriendelikheid. Jy sal baie dinge moet verdra, baie dinge moet glo, baie dinge moet hoop, en baie dinge moet verduur, maar daardie soort liefde vergaan nooit nie! 

In light of the shooting in Massachusetts and California (not to mention the terrorist attacks!), let's see, I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare (she was murdered; her body was found recently) said that she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Aan die lig van die huidige geskietery in Massachusetts en Kalifornië (om nie van die terroriste aanvalle te praat nie) kom ons kyk , ek dink dit het gebeur toe Madeline Murray O’Hare gesê het dat sy nie gebed in ons skole wil hê nie, en ons het gesê REG. 

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school... the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said, OK.

Toe sê iemand jy beter nie die Bybel by die skool lees nie…die Bybel wat sê jy mag nie moord pleeg nie, jy mag nie steel nie, en jy moet jou naaste liefhê soos jousef. En ons het gesê, REG

Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide) and we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so OK, we won't spank them anymore.

Dr. Benjamin Spock het gesê dat ons nie ons kinders ‘n pak moet gee  wanneer hulle hulself wangedra nie omdat hulle klein persoonlikhede skeef sal trek en ons dalk hulle self-esteem sal beskadig (Dr Spock se seun het selfmoord gepleeg) en ons het gesê, ‘n deskundige behoort te weet waarvan hulle praat so REG, ons sal nie meer vir hulle ‘n pak slae gee nie.  

Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. (There's a big difference between disciplining and touching, beating, smacking, humiliating, kicking, etc.) And we accepted their reasoning.

Toe sê iemand onderwysers en prinsipale beter nie ons kinders dissiplineer wanneer hulle hulself wangedra nie. En die skool se administrateurs het gesê geen fakulteits lid in hierdie skool beter aan ‘n student raak as hulle hulle wangedra omdat ons nie enige slegte publisiteit wil hê nie, en ons wil sekerlik nie gedagvaar word nie. (Daar is ‘n groot verskil tussen dissipline en aanraking, slaan, klap, verneder, skop, ens.) En ons het hulle redenasie aanvaar. 

Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea.

Toe sê iemand, laat ons dogters aborsies hê as hulle wil, en hulle hoef nie een hulle ouers te vertel nie. En ons het gesê, dis n puik idee.

Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea.

Toe het een of ander wyse skoolraad lid gesê, aangesien seuns seuns sal wees en hulle dit in elk geval gaan doen, kom ons gee vir ons seuns al die kondome wat hulle wil hê, sodat hulle al die pret kan hê wat hulle begeer, en ons sal nie hulle ouers vertel dat hulle dit by die skool gekry het nie. En ons het gesê dit is nog ‘n puik idee.

Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good.

Toe het sommige van ons top verkose amptenare gesê dit maak nie saak wat ons in die privaat doen nie solank ons ons werk doen. En deur met hulle saam te stem, het ons gesê dit mak nie aan my saak wat enigiemand, insluitende die President, in privaat doen nie solank ek werk het en die ekonomie goed is.

And then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said we have no problem with that.

En toe sê iemand om ons druk tydskrifte met fotos van naak vrouens en noem dit heilsaam, plat op die aarde waardering vir die prag van die vroulike liggaam. En ons het gesê ons het geen probleem daarmee nie.

And someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then stepped further still by making them available on the internet. And we said they're entitled to their free speech.

En iemand anders het daardie waardering ‘n stap verder geneem en fotos van naak kinders publisseer en toe verder gegaan deur hulle op die internet beskikbaar te maak. En ons het gesê hulle is geregtig op hulle vrye spraak.

And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex (because that's what people want). And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.

En die vermaaklikheid industrie het gesê,  kom ons maak TV vertonings en rolprente wat goddeloosheid, geweld, en satanistiese skemas bemoedig. En ons het gesê dit is net vermaak, dit het geen newe effekte nie, en niemand neem dit ernstig op nie, so gaan maar voort.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Nou vra ons onsself waarom ons kinders geen gewete het nie, waarom hulle nie reg van verkeerd ken nie, en waarom dit hulle nie pla om vreemdelinge, hulle klasmaats, en hulself dood te maak nie.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.

As ons moontlik, lank en hard daaroor nadink, kan ons dit uitpluis.

I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Ek dink dit het baie te doen met “ONS OES WAT ONS SAAI.”

The little girl asked God, “Why didn't you save the little girl in Michigan?" God replied, “I am not allowed in schools."

Die klein dogtertjie het vir God gevra, “Waarom het jy nie die klein dogtertjie in Michigan gered nie?” God het geantwoord, “ek word nie in skole toegelaat nie.”