Hoofstuk 6 “Vermy ‘n Dwase Mens”

Our Foundation, His Word
Ons Fondament, Sy Woord

Prov. 14:7 “Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge.”

Spr. 14:7 “Vermy 'n dwase mens; jy sal nie by hom leer om verstandig te praat nie.”

Prov. 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child...”

Spr. 22:15 “Onverstandigheid is eie aan 'n jongmens…”

Hebr. 12:1 “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter [finisher] of [our] faith…”

Hebr. 12:1 “Terwyl ons dan so 'n groot skare geloofsgetuies rondom ons het, laat ons elke las van ons afgooi, ook die sonde wat ons so maklik verstrik, en laat ons die wedloop wat vir ons voorlê, met volharding hardloop, die oog gevestig op Jesus, die Begin en Voleinder van die geloof…”

Jer. 15:19 “Therefore, thus says the LORD, If you return, then I will restore you — Before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, You will become My spokesman. They for their part may turn to you, But as for you, you must not turn to them.”

Jer. 15:19 “Die HERE het toe gesê: As jy jou woorde terugneem, sal Ek jou weer in my diens neem. As wat jy sê, waarde sal hê en nie onsin sal wees nie, sal jy weer namens My kan praat. Die mense moet jóú volg, nie jy vir hulle nie.

1Cor. 15:33 “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’ Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning...”

1Kor. 15:33 “Moet julle nie langer laat mislei nie: ‘Slegte geselskap bederf goeie sedes.’ Kom tot besinning en moenie langer sonde doen nie…”

To Enhance, not Diminish, Your Children’s Spiritual Growth
Om Jou Kinders se Geestelike Groei te Vermeerder, nie te Verminder nie

How do we, as homeschool families, choose beneficial activities to enhance (intensify, deepen, heighten), not diminish (drain, decrease, lessen) our children’s spiritual growth?

Hoe kies ons, as tuisskool families, voordelige aktiwiteite om ons kinders se geestelike groei te vermeerder (versterk, verdiep, verhoog), nie te verminder (dreineer, verklein, inkort.) ?

It is often very difficult to determine which are foolish activities that have no eternal worth. They are at best temporary. However, very often some of our non-spiritual, everyday activities are the ones God uses to prepare us for our ministry. Clearly, the only way to truly discern which activities we should be in or stay involved in is through prayer. Ask God to show you what He wants you in and what He wants you to pull out of. It is a family “dying to self,” surrendering your wills to that of our heavenly Father. “Not my will by Thine be done.” God will faithfully lead you.

Dit is dikwels baie moeilik om te bepaal wat die dwaaslike aktiwiteite is wat geen ewigdurende waarde het nie. Hulle is ten beste tydelik. Nietemin, baie dikwels gebruik God sommige van ons alledaagse nie-geestelike aktiwiteite, om ons voor te berei vir ons bediening. Duidelik, is die enigste manier om te oordeel watter aktiwiteite ons in behoort te wees en waarvan Hy jou wil uittrek is deur gebed. Vra vir God deur gebed waarin Hy jou wil hê en waarvan Hy jou wil uittrek. Dit is ‘n familie “wat die self doodmaak,” jou wil aan die wil van ons Hemelse Vader oorgee. “Nie my wil nie…… God sal jou getrou lei.

Matt. 7:13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.”

Matt. 7:13 “Gaan deur die nou poort in. Die poort wat na die verderf lei, is wyd en die pad daarheen breed, en dié wat daardeur ingaan, is baie.

It’s clear in the above verse that there are more people heading toward destruction than are traveling the narrow road in their lives. It is therefore very important that we actually take the time to really LOOK for the narrow gate. When “everyone is doing it” then THAT should be our signal that it may be a wide road to our family’s destruction.

Dit is duidelik in die boonste vers dat daar meer mense is wat oppad is na verwoesting as wat die nou pad in hulle lewens reis. Daarom is dit baie belangrik dat ons eintlik die tyd neem om regtig uit te KYK vir die nou poort. Wanneer “almal dit doen” dan moet DIT ons teken wees dat dit ‘n wye pad mag wees na ons familie se verwoesting.

The Church Nursery
Die Kerk Babakamer

For the most part, we have not taken advantage of church nurseries. Our main reason for not putting our children in the nursery was that our children were totally nursed. I did not give them pacifiers or bottles, which would make it very difficult for the nursery staff or volunteers. Even though most of my babies were good, there is something very challenging for a worker who has been left with a child who has no tangible means of comfort should the need arise.

Vir die meeste deel, het ons nie voordeel getrek uit kerk babakamers nie. Ons hoof rede om nie ons kinders in die babakamer te sit nie was dat ons kinders heeltemal klaar was met borsvoeding. Ek het nie vir hulle fopspene of bottels gegee nie, wat dit baie moeilik vir die babakamer personeel of vrywilligers maak. Alhoewel meeste van my babas soet was, is daar iets baie uitdagend vir ‘n werker wat gelos is met ‘n kind wat geen tasbare middel van vertroosting het as die behoefte opdaag.

Also, some of our babies did not do well away from me, or went through periods of time when they were a bit clingy. I found that by not pushing them away at these times, they soon grew out of these phases and became very secure and independent. I personally believe that pushing a child away will enhance his dependence and insecurity rather than eliminating it. However, I have also seen mothers who seem to make their children insecure by doting on them because of their own insecurities.

Ook, het sommige van ons babas nie goed gedoen weg van my af nie, of het deur periodes gegaan waar hulle baie klouerig was. Ek het gevind dat deur hulle nie by sulke tye weg te stoot nie, hulle gou uit hierdie fases gegroei het en baie veilig en onafhanklik geword het. Ek peroonlik glo dat deur ‘n kind weg te stoot sy afhanklikheid en onsekerheid sal verhoog eerder as om dit te elimineer. Nietemin, ek het ook moeders gesien wat lyk asof hulle hulle kinders onseker maak deur versot op hulle te wees as gevolg van hulle eie onsekerheid.

Be sympathetic to nursery workers. If your child does not do well with strangers or they will not have a way to comfort him, it may be best for everyone to keep the baby with you. You can either sit in the back or in a mothers’ room. If your church does not have one, you could suggest it and help them to implement it.

Wees simpateties met babakamer werkers. As jou kind nie goed doen met vreemdelinge nie of hulle nie ‘n manier sal hê om hom te vertroos nie, sal dit die beste vir almal wees om die baba by jou te hou. Jy kan of heel ager sit of in ‘n moeders kamer. As jou kerk nie een het nie, kan jy dit voorstel en hulle help om dit te implementeer.

If you really need the break, you may be able to make an agreement with another mother to take turns in the service while you watch each other’s babies. Seek the Lord and diligently pray specifically for your needs.

Don’t tell the Lord how to do it; just ask Him to work it out as you pour out your needs to your Heavenly Father.

As jy regtig die breek nodig het, mag jy in staat wees om ‘n ooreenstemming met ‘n ander moeder te maak om beurte in die diens te neem terwyl jy na mekaar se babas kyk. Soek God en bid ywerig vir jou behoeftes.

And remember, most trials are only for “a season,” but of course when you are in the midst of them, they feel as though they will never end.

En onthou, meeste beproewings is net vir “‘n seisoen,” maar natuurlik wanneer jy ten midde van hulle is, voel it asof hulle nooit sal eindig nie.

Children’s Church
Kinderkerk

At the moment, we do not put our children in children’s church because we believe that our children need to be with us in the main service. Before there were special services for children, all children sat with their parents. Many leaders today tell of how they “cut their teeth” on the church pews.

Op die oomblik, plaas ons nie ons kinders in kinderkerk nie omdat ons glo dat ons kinders by ons moet wees gedurende die hoofdiens. Voordat daar spesiale dienste vir kinders was, het alle kinders by hulle ouers gesit. Baie leiers van vandag vertel van hoe hulle “hulle tande gesny” het op die kerkbanke. 

With that said, even though we do not feel that we should have our children in these groups or church nurseries, we are grateful for them, knowing that they serve a vital role in the church, and we therefore help to support them. Specifically, at the present time, our daughters help every other week in the nursery and occasionally our sons may go to a special event for the youth. In the recent past, two of our children were leaders in the children’s church so we allowed our younger children to go along with them and our three oldest sons sang in the youth choir. All of our participation has been for “a season” as the Lord led us in, and later, out. We were able to see, firsthand, the benefits of these groups and functions and also some of their downfalls.

Met dit gesê, alhoewel on gevoel het dat ons nie ons kinders in hierdie groepe of kerk babakamers hoef te sit nie, is ons nogtans dankbaar vir hulle, wetend dat hulle ‘n noodsaaklike rol in die kerk dien, en daarom help ons om hulle te onderhou. Spesifiek, huidig, help ons dogters elke tweede week in die babakamer en nou en dan sal ons seuns na ‘n spesiale geleentheid vir die jeug gaan. Onlangs in die verlede, was twee van ons kinders leiers in die kinderkerk toe laat ons toe dat ons twee jonger kinders saam met hulle gaan en ons drie oudste seuns het in die jeugkoor gesing. Al ons deelneming was vir “‘n seisoen” soos wat die Here ons in, en later uit lei. Ons was in staat om, eerste hands, die voordele van hierdie groepe en funksies en ook sommige van die ondergang te sien.

Before you pull your child from children’s church, ask yourself if your child is ready. Before your child is ready to be put in the very strict environment of the main adult service, you must make sure he can deal with it, and benefit from it. If my children were entertained the way most children are — through television, movies, hours of video games or fast-moving toys — then they could not sit still to hear the message. It would not only torture them, leaving them with bad memories and feelings about church, but it would also distract the adults who came to hear the message, not watch our children fidget or watch me correct them or answer their questions.

Voordat jy jou kinders uit kinderkerk haal, vra jouself of jou kind gereed is. Voordat jou kind gereed is om in die baie streng omgewing van die hoof volwasse diens gesit te word, moet jy seker maak dat hy dit kan hanteer, en voordeel daaruit trek. As my kinders vermaak word op die manier wat meeste kinders vermaak word — deur televisie, rolprente, ure van videospeletjies of vinnig-bewegende speelgoed — dan kan hulle nie stil sit om die boodskap te hoor nie. Dit sal hulle nie net martel nie, en hulle met slegte herinneringe en gevoelens vir die kerk los nie, maar dit sal ook die volwassenes wat gekom het om die boodskap te hoor se aandag aftrek, om nie te kyk hoe ons kinders vroetel, of dophou hoe ek hulle korrigeer of hulle vrae beantwoord nie. 

Our children have hours to run free now that we live on a farm, and before we moved here, they ran and played inside the boundaries of our fenced yard. Their play was and is not high speed or mechanical. They sit at the dinner table, sometimes for hours, and listen to adult conversation (mature, not sensual). So when the pastor talks they are able to listen, for a time, and pick up the basic message. I know, because they tell me or ask questions afterwards. If it does get too long and they lose interest they quietly entertain themselves with pens and paper or close their eyes and nap.

Ons kinders het ure om vry rond te hardloop noudat ons op ‘n plaas woon, en voor ons hierheen getrek het, het hulle gehardloop en binne die grense van ons omheinde erf gespeel. Hulle gespeel was en is nie hoë spoed of meganies nie. Hulle sit by die aandete tafel, somtyds vir ure, en luister na volwasse geselskap (volwasse, nie sensueel nie). So wanneer die pastoor praat is hulle in staat om vir ‘n tydperk te luister, en die basiese boodskap op te tel.Ek weet  want hulle vertel my of vra my vrae daarna. As dit vir  te lank angaan of hulle verloor  belangstelling vermaak hulle hulself stil met pen en papier of maak hulle oë toe vir ‘n middag slapie.

If your desire is to have your children with you in the service, then seek the Lord as to where to begin. It will be a journey, the same one the Lord has led us through. It will be difficult, confrontational and could offend others. However, it is YOUR responsibility to do ALL that you can not to offend others, while at the same time not trying to please them. It takes humility and knowing that you are not always right. Yet, when it is all said and done, your “fruits” will speak loudly and clearly.

As jou begeerte is om jou kinders saam jou in die diens te hê, soek die Here dan waar om te begin. Dit sal ‘n reis wees, dieselfde een waardeur die Here ons gelei het. Dit sal moeilik wees, konfronterend en kan vir ander aanstoot gee. Nietemin, dit is JOU verantwoordelikheid om ALLES wat jy kan doen te doen om nie vir ander aanstoot te gee nie, terwyl jy op dieselfde tyd nie probeer om in hulle te behaag nie. Dit neem nederigheid en die wete dat jy nie altyd reg is nie. Tog, wanneer alles klaar en verby is, sal jou “vrugte” luid en duidelik spreek.

It’s not about being AGAINST the groups in your church or any church; it is about being FOR attempting to take seriously your responsibility to “train your children up in the way they should go” and talking to them “when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

Dit gaan nie om TEEN die groepe in jou kerk of enige kerk te wees nie; dit gaan oor om VIR die poging om jou verantwoordelikheid ernstig op te neem om ‘‘leiding aan ‘n jong mens oor hoe hy moet leef” en met hulle te praat “as jy in jou huis is en as jy op pad is, as jy gaan slaap en as jy opstaan.

Preschool and Play Groups
Kleuterskool en Speel Groepe

Some parents erroneously believe their children are missing out if they do not send them to preschool or enroll them in playgroups. This is erroneous because these schools and groups sprang up to meet the needs of those who did not have the advantage of siblings or a mother at home. The mother with only one child may feel that her child is missing out on socialization.

Sommige ouers dink foutiewelik dat hulle kinders uitmis as hulle hulle nie kleuterskool toe stuur of hulle in speelgroepe aansluit nie. Dit is foutief omdat hierdie skole en groepe opgespring het om die behoeftes van die wie nie die voordeel van broers of susters of ‘n moeder by die huis het te vervul nie. Die moeder van een kind mag voel dat haar kind uitmis op sosialisasie.

However, a child who is playing with other children his own age who are selfish, bullish and demanding may not learn good socialization skills but will become selfish, bullish and demanding. By keeping your child with you and out of group situations you may in fact help him to become sociable as long as you help him to share and do not give into his every demand.

Nietemin, ‘n kind wat met ander kinders van sy eie ouderdom speel wat selfsugtig, boelies en vereisend is mag nie goeie sosialisering vaardighede leer nie maar sal selfsugtig, boelie agtig en vereisend word. Deur jou kind by jou te hou en uit groep situasies mag jy om die waarheid te sê help om gesellig te word solank jy hom help om te deel en nie in te gee vir sy elke vereiste nie. 

Children who have been in a daycare situation with all the equipment, scheduled craft times and arranged play times are usually “bored” at home in a normal family environment. They have been continually entertained during every waking moment, and therefore often have difficulty when left to their own imagination or resources in playing at home.

Kinders wat in ‘n dagsorg situasie was met al die toerusting, geskeduleerde handwerk tye en speeltye is gewoonlik verveeld by die huis in ‘n normale familie omgewing.Hulle is voortdurend gedurende elke wakker oomblik vermaak, en het daarom moeilikheid wanneer hulle aan hulle eie verbeeldings of hulpbronne by die huis gelaat word.

Helping them slow down and learn to become resourceful is the greatest gift a mother can give children who are now home with her. Whenever my children have dared to tell me they are bored, I quickly incorporate them in some type of work. They learn very quickly to find a means of entertaining themselves. If my children ask for anything in the store, they do not get it. I have taught them ahead of time to not ask for anything. I tell them that they can “show me” something that is neat or fun, but they must not ask for anything. I tell them that I will make a mental note of the things they like in order to buy them for their birthdays or Christmas.

Om hulle te help om dit stadig te vat en te leer om vindingryk te word is die grootste geskenk wat ‘n moeder vir haar kind kan gee wie nou by die huis saam haar is. Wanneer ook al my kinders durf om my te vertel dat hulle verveeld is, gee ek gou vir hulle een of ander soort werkie. Hulle leer baie gou ‘n metode om hulsef te vermaak. As my kinders vir enigiets in die winkel vra, kry hulle dit nie. Ek het vir hulle voor die tyd geleer om vir niks te vra nie. Ek sê vir hulle dat hulle vir “my iets kan wys” wat netjies of prettig is, maar hulle moet nie vir enigiets vra nie. Ek sê vir hulle ek sal ‘n geestelike nota maak van die dinge waarvan hulle hou sodat ek dit vir hulle verjaarsdae of Kersfees kan koop.

As I matured and became a much wiser mother, I found that by frequenting toy stores my children became more “wanting.” It is the same with me. When I look at magazines, I find that I am discontented with my home and my life. When I see it, I want it, and if I can’t buy it, I become disheartened. Can we expect more from our children than we can from ourselves?

Soos wat ek volwaardig geword het en ‘n baie wyser moeder, het ek gevind dat om gereeld na speelgoed winkels te gaan het my kinders meer “wil hê” geword. Dit is dieselfde met my. Wanneer ek na tydskrifte kyk, voel ek dat ek ontevrede is met my huis en my lewe. Wanneer ek dit sien, wil ek dit hê, en as ek dit nie kan koop nie, word ek moedeloos. Kan ons meer van ons kinders verwag as van onsself?

If you don’t see your husband because he is always working or you are constantly in a financial bind, I would challenge you to stop your magazine subscriptions and say “no thank you” to friends who want to give you their old magazines. When you go to a friend’s house, do not covet, but instead thank the Lord that He has blessed them, or see how what they have has put them in debt. Very few families own much of what they have, but are charged to the maximum, and therefore live in financial stress.

As jy nie jou man sien omdat hy altyd werk nie of jy konstant in ‘n finansiële krisis is, sal ek jou uitdaag om jou tydskrif subskripsies te kanselleer en “nee dankie” te sê aan vriende wat vir jou hulle ou tydskrifte wil gee. Wanneer jy na n vriendin se huis toe gaan, moet nie begeer nie, maar dank die Here dat Hy hulle geseën het, of sien hoe wat hulle het hulle in die skuld gedompel het. Baie min families besit baie van wat hulle het, maar word tot die maksimum gehef, en leef daarom in finansiële stres. 

Other Specialized Groups
Ander Gespesialiseerde Groepe

Some groups that are set up to train children through Bible memorization and Bible training certainly may help enhance your children’s homeschooling experience while giving them some time with other children. In the Assemblies of God they have programs called Missionnettes for girls and Royal Rangers for boys that are geared toward educating the young ladies and young men in the Word of God. Awanas is a program that my children really enjoyed when we were going to a Baptist church.

Sommige groepe wat opgestel is om kinders op te lei deur Bybel memorisasie en Bybel opleiding sal sekerlik jou kinders se tuisskool ervaring verhoog terwyl dit hulle tyd gee saam ander kinders. In die Assemblies van God het hulle programme met die naam Missionettes vir meisies en Royal Rangers vir seuns wat ingerig is om die jong dames en here op te lei in die Woord van God. Awanas is ‘n program wat my kinders regtig geniet het toe ons ‘n Baptiste kerk bygewoon het.     

Usually you do not need to be a member of the church or denomination to have your children be part of these groups. Ask to look at their books and materials, and if they look good, talk to your husband about it or give him the material to look over and decide. Do not set your heart on it BEFORE your husband has an opportunity to share his thoughts or concerns.

Gewoonlik hoef jy nie ‘n lid van die kerk of denominsasie te wees sodat jou kinders deel van hierdie groep kan wees nie. Vra om na hulle boek en hulpbronne te kyk, en as hulle goed lyk, praat met jou man daaroor of gee hom die hulpbronne om dit na te gaan en te besluit. Moet nie jou hart op dit plaas VOORDAT jy jou man ‘n kans het om sy gedagtes of bekommernisse te deel nie. 

Youth Groups or Adult Services
Jeug Groepe of Volwasse Dienste

It’s a challenging decision that you and your husband must make when choosing whether to allow or encourage your son or daughter to be involved in the youth groups or to attend the adult services with you.

Dit is ‘n uitdagende besluit wat jy en jou man moet maak wanneer jy kies om toe te laat dat jou seun of dogter in die jeug groepe betrokke gaan wees of die volwasse dienste saam jou gaan bywoon.

My husband and I have always sought the Lord by checking into each group or church service to see what they are offering. We have found that, because of the strong convictions that we have and have instilled in our children, for the most part our children do not belong, nor are they comfortable attending these groups or the events aimed at ministering to youth.

My man en ek het altyd die Here gesoek deur by elke groep groep of diens in te gaan om te sien wat hulle offer. Ons het gevind dat, as gevolg van die sterk oortuigings wat ons het en in ons kinders ingeprent het, vir die meeste deel het ons kinders nie behoort  nie, og minder is hulle gemaklik om hierdie groepe of gebeure wat gemik is om vir die jeug te minister by te woon.

If we see no harm in a particular church function, we trust our children to relate to us their findings. Usually our children tell US that they do not belong there. Or, occasionally, they tell us there was really nothing harmful. Only once did they tell us (when they were a part of the youth choir) that it was beneficial for them to be there. Our children share our convictions. They are opposed to dating, which most young people in the youth group participate in. Therefore they feel out of place when girls are attempting to get their attention or the guys are constantly talking about their girlfriends. They do not want to appear rude or arrogant, but strongly believe that they should remain faithful to their wives before marriage as well as after marriage.

As my man en ek geen skade in ‘n spesifieke kerk funksie sien nie, vertrou ons dat ons kinders hulle bevindinge aan ons sal oordra. Gewoonlik vertel ons kinders vir ONS dat hulle nie daar hoort nie. Of, nou en dan, vertel hulle vir ons dat daar regtig niks skadelik was nie. Net een keer het hulle vir ons vertel (toe hulle deel was van die jeugkoor) dat dit voordelig vir hulle was om daar te wees. Ons kinders deel ons oortuigings. Hulle is teen uitgaan, waarin meeste jong mense in die groep deelneem. Daarom voel hulle uit plek wanneer meisies probeer om hulle aandag te trek of die ouens die heeltyd oor hulle meisies praat. Hulle wil nie ongeskik of arrogant voorkom nie, maar glo sterk dat hulle getrou moet bly aan hulle vrouens voor en na die huwelik.   

Some youth groups take a strong stand against dating; however, it is very difficult when they are bombarded with it at school for eight hours a day, not to mention through the entertainment media. Since our boys have a strong conviction in this area, we must do what we can to help them, not put them in an environment where there will be tremendous temptations.

Sommige jeug groepe neem ‘n sterk standpunt teen uitgaan; nietemin, is dit baie moeilik wanneer hulle by die skool bombadeer word vir agt ure per dag, om nie te noem deur die vermaaklikheid media. Aangesien ons seuns ‘n sterk oortuiging in hierdie area het, moet ons doen wat ons kan om hulle te help, en hulle nie in ‘n omgewing te plaas waar daar groot versoekings is nie.

However, as I mentioned earlier, we do what we can to help support the groups aimed at meeting the needs of children. Occasionally our older children attend a special service or function held for the youth.

Nietemin, soos wat ek vroeër genoem het, ons doen wat ons kan om te help om die groepe te ondersteun wat gemik is om in die behoeftes van kinders te voorsien. Nou en dan woon ons ouer kinders ‘n spesiale diens of funksie by wat vir die jeug gehou word.

Words and Labels
Woorde en Etikette

In an earlier lesson we spoke about labels and how powerful our words are.

In ‘n vroeër les het ons gepraat oor etikette en hoe kragtig ons woorde is.

James 3:6-10  “ And the tongue is a fire, the {very} world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of {our} life, and is set on fire by hell. But no one can tame the tongue; {it is} a restless evil {and} full of deadly poison. With it we bless {our} Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come {both} blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.”

Jakobus 3:6-10 “Die tong is ook 'n vuur, 'n wêreld vol ongeregtigheid, die deel van die liggaam wat die hele mens besmet. Dit steek die hele lewe, van die geboorte af tot die dood toe, aan die brand, en self word dit uit die hel aan die brand gesteek. Alles wat loop, vlieg, kruip of swem, elke soort dier word en is al deur die mens getem, maar geen mens kan die tong tem nie. Dit is 'n rustelose kwaad, vol dodelike gif. Met die tong loof ons die Here en Vader, en met die tong vloek ons die mense wat as die beeld van God gemaak is. Uit dieselfde mond kom lof en vloek. My broers, so moet dit nie wees nie.”

Specifically, when I hear someone use the term “teenager” I think of rebellion. The word connotes a time in a child’s life when they are fighting to get out from under their parents’ authority, a time when they argue and question rules, a time of irresponsibility. However, I do not see that the Scripture recommends that we encourage this type of behavior; on the contrary, I see that we are to take authority against it.

Spesifiek, wanneer ek iemand hoor die term “tiener” gebruik dink ek aan rebellie. Die woord sluit ‘n tyd in die kinders se lewe in wanneer hulle baklei om onder hulle ouers se “autoriteit” uit te kom, ‘n tyd wanneer hulle stry en reëls bevraagteken, ‘n tyd van onverantwoordelikheid. Nietemin, ek sien nie dat Die Heilige Skrif aanbeveel dat ons nie hierdie soort gedrag moet aanmoedig nie; inteendeel, sien ek dat ons autoriteit teen dit moet neem. 

Deut. 21:18-21   “If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his home town. And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear {of it} and fear.”

Deut. 21:18-21 “Wanneer 'n man 'n opstandige en ongehoorsame seun het wat nie na sy pa en ma wil luister nie, selfs al straf hulle hom, moet hulle hom na die leiers van die stad toe vat by die stadspoort. Hulle moet vir die leiers van die stad sê: ‘Hierdie seun van ons is opstandig en ongehoorsaam. Hy luister nie na ons nie. Hy is 'n vraat en 'n suiplap.’ Dan moet al die mans van die stad hom met klippe doodgooi. So moet jy hierdie soort kwaad tussen julle uitroei, en die hele Israel sal daarvan hoor en bang wees.”

I am certainly not saying that we should stone our children, but I am saying that we should take seriously rebellion exhibited in the actions and attitudes of our children.

Ek sê sekerlik nie dat ons ons kinders moet stenig nie, maar ek sê dat ons rebellie wat in die aksies en houding van ons kinders uitgestal word ernstig moet opneem.

Instead of using the term “teenager” it may be more advantageous for your son or daughter, as well as for yourself, to use the terms young adult, young woman, or young man. With this prestigious label, not only will your son or daughter begin to see themselves in this light, but you will begin to see that these teen years are a transition from childhood to adulthood, not a period of time in their lives when you need to allow them to rebel against authority.

In plaas daarvan om die woord “tiener” te gebruik mag dit meer voordelig vir jou seun of dogter wees, sowel as vir jouself, om die term jong volwassene, jong vrou, of jong man te gebruik. Met hierdie gesogte etiket, sal jou seun of dogter nie net hulself in hierdie lig sien nie, maar jy sal begin om te sien dat hierdie tienerjare ‘n oorgang van kinderjare tot volwassenheid is, nie ‘n periode van tyd in hulle lewns wanneer jy nodig het om hulle toe te laat om te rebel teen autoriteit nie.

Let me also mention that the “teenager attitude” that is very prevalent today in and out of the church is occurring in younger and younger children — ten-year-olds and even younger! How many of you know children of 4 or 5 who are asked what kind of clothes they want to buy or wear? If they show this much rebellion and pride at this age, how can the parent hope to live with them when they are 14 or 15?

Laat ek ook noem dat die ‘tiener houding” wat baie algemeen is in en uit die kerk neem in jonger en jonger kinders plaas —tien-jariges en selfs jonger! Hoeveel van julle ken kinders van 4 of 5 wat gevra word watter klere hulle wil koop of aantrek? As hulle soveel rebellie en hoogmoed op hierdie ouderdom wys, hoe kan die ouer hoop om saam hulle te lewe wanneer hulle 14 of 15 is?

We Alone Will Bear the Shame
Ons Alleen Sal die Skande Dra

Prov. 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Spr. 22:6 “ Gee leiding aan 'n jongmens oor hoe hy moet leef, en hy sal ook as hy al oud is nie daarvan afwyk nie.”

Deut. 6:6-7 “And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

Deut. 6:6-7 “Hierdie gebooie wat ek jou vandag gegee het, moet in jou gedagtes bly. Jy moet dit inskerp by jou kinders en met hulle daaroor praat as jy in jou huis is en as jy op pad is, as jy gaan slaap en as jy opstaan.”

These verses tell me as a parent that it is MY responsibility to train and speak of God’s Word to my children. The church is not responsible; the Bible holds ME responsible.

Hierdie verse sê vir my as ‘n ouer dat dit MY verantwoordelikheid is om leiding te gee en van die Woord van God met my kinders te praat. Die kerk is nie verantwoordelik nie; die Bybel hou MY verantwoordelik.

Prov. 10:1 “The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother.”

Spr. 10:1 “Spreuke van Salomo. 'n Wyse seun maak sy vader en moeder bly; 'n dwase seun maak hulle hartseer.”

Prov. 15:20 “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.”

Spr. 15:20 “'n Wyse seun maak sy ouers bly, 'n dwase mens minag hulle.”

Prov. 17:21 “He who begets a fool {does so} to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy.”

Spr. 17:21 “Daar wag hartseer vir die vader van 'n dwaas; wie 'n ongemanierde seun het, het geen vreugde nie.”

Prov. 17:25 “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.”

Spr. 17:25 “'n Onverstandige seun is vir sy ouers 'n ergernis, hy is vir hulle 'n bitter verdriet.”

Prov. 19:13 “A foolish son is destruction to his father...”

Spr. 19:13 “'n Dwase seun is sy vader se ondergang…”

Prov. 29:15 “... a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”

Spr. 29:15 ” …'n kind wat sonder dissipline grootword, steek sy moeder in die skande.”

It is clear that if we, as parents, fail to properly train our children, then only WE will be put to shame, not the church. Of course, it can ruin the testimony of a church or the church as a whole, but we parents will carry the shame.

Dit is duidelik dat ons, as ouers, misluk om ons kinders behoorlik op te lei, dan sal net ONS in die skande gesteek word, nie die kerk nie. Natuurlik, kan dit die getuienis van die kerk of die kerk as ‘n geheel ruineer, maar ons ouers sal die skande dra.

With this enormous task laid before us, and because we do not see in Scripture that it is the church’s responsibility to train our children, we have thoughtfully and prayerfully chosen to basically keep our children with us while at church or at church functions.

Met hierdie enorme taak wat voor ons lê, en omdat ons nie in die Skrif sien dat dit die kerk se verantwoordelikheid is om on kinders op te lei nie, het ons nadenkend en biddend gekies om basies ons kinders by ons te hou terwyl ons by die kerk is of kerk funksies.

All of us need to be very aware of how these groups are needed to provide support for some families. They also reach out to those who are not in the church. There are many more families in the church whose children attend public school, and thereby are exposed to evils and issues that my children are totally unaware of. These families need their children to be given the truth so that they will be able to deal with and cope with the issues that they are facing every day in school.

Almal van ons moet bewus wees van hoe hierdie groepe benodig is om ondersteuning vir sommige families te voorsien. Hulle reik ook uit na die wat  nie in die kerk is nie. Daar is baie meer families in die kerk wie se kinders die publieke skool bywoon, en daarby blootgestel aan die kwaad en kwessies waarvan my kinders heeltemal onbewus is. Hierdie families benodig dat hulle kinders die waarheid gegee word sodat hulle in staat is om af te reken met die kwessies wat hulle elke dag by die skool in die gesig staar.

You can also use your church-based groups as an outreach to your neighbors or those at your husband’s workplace. You can invite the children and their parents and let your child visit the children’s church with them. Your children can act as ambassadors, until your neighbor’s or friend’s child feels comfortable going alone (going with them once or twice). This is our commission, to go out and bring the lost or hurting in. It is therefore important that you know the leaders, support them, and speak well of them.

Jy kan ook jou kerk-gebaseerde groepe gebruik as ‘n uitreik vir jou bure of die by jou man se werksplek. Jy kan die kinders en hulle ouers nooi en laat jou kinders die kinderkerk saam  hulle besoek, jou kinders tree op as ambassadeurs, totdat jou buurvrou of vriendin se kind gemaklik voel om alleen te gaan (gaan een of twee keer saam hulle). Dit is ons sending, om uit te gaan en die verlore of gekrenktes in te bring. Dit is daarom belangrik dat jy die leiers ken, hulle ondersteun, en goed van hulle praat. 

However, since most of you homeschool your children, then your children, like mine, are not exposed to these issues and evils in their lives, since they do not attend public or private school, or watch television, or spend time with neighbors. Therefore it would be wrong for us to regularly put them in a setting that they are not prepared for or comfortable with.

Nietemin, aangesien meeste van julle julle kinders tuisskool, is jou kinders, soos myne, nie blootgestel aan hierdie kwessies en kwaad in hulle lewens nie, aangesien hulle nie publieke of privaat skool bywoon nie, of televisie kyk,of tyd saam die bure spandeer nie. Daarom sal dit verkeerd wees vir ons om hulle in ‘n omgewing te plaas waarvoor hulle nie voorbereid is of mee gemaklik is nie.

Challenge
Uitdaging

My heart is to challenge all homeschooling families to support and encourage the pastors and leaders of your church. Very often, we have found that it is difficult to show support to the groups when you do not participate in them; however, it is our responsibility to build up the body and leaders of our church. We have found that very often the group leaders or pastors seem to take it personally when we choose not to be a part of their groups.

My hart is om alle tuisskool; families uit te daag op die pastore en leiers van jou kerk te ondersteun en te bemoedig. Baie dikwels, vind ons dat dit moeilik is om ondersteuning vir hierdie groepe te wys wanneer jy nie in hulle deelneem nie; nietemin, is dit ons verantwoordelikheid om die liggaam en leiers van ons kerk op te bou. Ons het gevind dat baie dikwels lyk dit asof die groep leiers of pastore dit persoonlik opneem wanneer ons verkies om nie deel van hulle groepe te wees nie.

Can you blame them?

Kan jy hulle blameer?

Maybe they feel that for some reason they or their programs are not good enough. But the truth is, we simply believe that the Lord has given us our children to train, lead, protect, nurture, etc. But once again, for most parents, these groups are a large part of the support system that they most desperately need.

Miskien voel hulle dat vir een of ander rede is hulle en hulle programe nie genoeg nie. Maar die waarheid is, ons glo eenvoudig dat die Here vir ons ons kinders gegee het om te ondderig, te lei, beskerm, troetel, ens. Maar weereens, vir meeste ouers, is hierdie groot groepe deel van die ondersteunings groepe wat hulle desperaat nodig het. 

We believe that by having our children with us, rather than sending them to a group function, we make room for others outside the church or relieve the church of needing to hire more help or recruit more volunteers. We hope that if this is your (and your husband’s) heart as well, you will look for opportunities to support these groups by working in them, by financial giving or by a note or word of encouragement.

Ons glo dat deur ons kinders by ons te hê, eerder as om hulle na ‘n groepsfunksie te stuur, maak ons plek vir ander buite die kerk of verlig die kerk om dit nodig te ag om meer hulp te huur of meer vrywilligers te rekruut. Ons hoop dat as dit jou (en jou man se hart) ook is, sal jy vir geleenthede soek om hierdie groepe te ondersteun deur by hulle te werk, deur finansieël te gee of deur ‘n nota of ‘n woord van bemoediging.

In addition, we ask that you never undermine the work that they do by speaking against them. If you truly have a concern, first go directly to the teacher or leader, and then go higher, maybe to the pastor if the leader is not able to receive your concerns. Never share your concerns with others in the church or outside the church. God is pleased when the church walks in unity.

Ter aanvulling, vra ons dat jy nooit die werk wat hulle doen ondermyn deur teen hulle te praat nie. As jy werklik ‘n bekommernis het, gaan eers direk na die onderwyser of leier, en gaan dan hoër, miskien die pastoor as die leier nie in staat is om jou bekommenise te ontvang nie. Moet nooit jou bekommernisse met die binne en buite die kerk deel nie. God is genoeë wanneer die kerk in eensgesingheid saam woon. 

Ps. 133:1 “BEHOLD, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!”

Ps. 133:1” Hoe goed, hoe mooi is dit as broers eensgesind saam woon!

If you as Christian parents still have any of your children in public or private school, I would challenge you not only to find out who your child’s friends are in school and what these friends are exposing your child to, but also to look carefully into what your child is being taught in the textbooks and by his teachers. My concern is that exposure to and instruction in the evils of the world may very well destroy your child’s faith in God or turn his heart away from you as parents and annihilate your influence on your child’s life. This is just one of the many reasons why we homeschool our children.

As julle as Christelike ouers nog steeds julle kinders in privaat of publieke skole het, sal ek jou uitdaag om nie net uit te vind wie jou kind se vriende in die skool is nie en waaraan hierdie kinders jou kind blootstel, maar om ook versigtig te kyk na wat jou kind in die teksboeke en deur hulle onderwysers geleer word. My bekommernis is dat blootstelling tot en instruksies in die kwaad van die wereld mag seer sekrelik jou kind se geloof in God vernietig of sy hart wegdraai van jou as ouers en jou invloed op jou kind se lewe vernietig.

Testimony
Getuienis

Years ago when I had just three small boys, I met a woman named Frankie. I was a pro-life speaker and I felt “led” to go into the office early Thanksgiving morning. The Lord knew that she would be passing by, feeling despondent since she was alone on that particular holiday, and decide to come in. Frankie was very much “with child.” She was very hard with many tattoos. She told me she was a nude dancer, her boyfriend was in prison, and she was thinking of having a late-term abortion. After we spoke for some time, I asked if she would like to meet my family. I told her that I had a baby boy that I wanted her to hold. I asked if she wanted to meet me for church on Sunday.

Jare gelede toe ek net drie klein seuntjies gehad het, het ek ‘n vrou met die naam Frankie ontmoet. Ek was ‘n Pro-lewe spreker en het “gelei” gevoel om by die kantore op danksegging oggend in te gaan. Die Here het geweet dat sy sou verbykom, sy het moedeloos gevoel want sy was  daardie spesifieke vakansiedag alleen, en het besluit om in te kom. Frankie was hoogs “swanger.” Sy was baie hard met baie tattoos. Sy het vir my gese dat sy ‘n naak danseres was, haar kêrel was in die tronk, en sy het daaraan gedink om ‘n laat termyn aborsie te hê. Nadat ons vir ‘n rukkie gepraat het, het ek haar gevra of sy daarvan sal hou om my familie te ontmoet. Ek het vir haar gesê dat ek ‘n babaseuntjie het wat ek wou gehad het sy met vashou. Ek het haar gevra of sy my Sondag vir kerk wou ontmoet.

I didn’t really think she would show up, but we went to that church that morning. It was not our church, nor our denomination, but it was close by the center and I knew the pastor and women who went there. When we drove up, there was Frankie. She was dressed up, a bit immodestly, but she was there. When I walked toward her.  I held out our little blonde-haired, blue-eyed Easton. A tear was in her eyes as she held him close. She carried him to the nursery for me.

Ek het regtig nie gedink sy sou opdaag nie, maar ons het dardie oggend kerk toe gegaan. Dit was nie ons kerk nie nie ons denominasie nie, maar dit was naby aan die sentrum en ek het die pastoor en die vrouens wat soontoe gegaan het geken. Toe ons inry was Frankie daar, sy was ‘n bietjie onbeskeie aangetrek, maar sy was daar. Toe ek na haar toe aangeloop gekom het, Het ek ons klein blondekop, blouoog Easton na haar toe uitgehou. Daar was ‘n traan in haar oog toe sy hom naby aan haar vasgehou het. Sy het hom vir my na die babakamer toe gedra.     

When we finally walked into the church and many women spotted Frankie, you would have thought that I had brought the Queen of England. Everyone stopped, smiled and came over to welcome her. Our pro-life director asked if she would like to sit with her and her husband as she wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

Toe ons uiteindelik in die kerk instap en baie vrouens Frankie waargeneem het, sou jy gedink het dat ek die Koningin van Engeland gebring het, Almal het gestop, gegelimlag en oorgekom om haar te verwelkom, Ons Pro-lewe direkteur het gevra of sy by haar en haar ma wou sit soos wat sy haar arm om haar skouers geplaas het.

My husband and I sat on the other side of the three of them. As the pastor called the unsaved to accept the Lord, my director whispered to Frankie, “Would you like to go forward with me?” She did. She accepted the Lord, and because it was a particular Baptist church denomination, she was baptized just 10 minutes later. The church invited her to a special luncheon that day.

My man en ek het aan die ander kant van die drie van hulle gesit. Soos wat die pastor die ongeredde geroep het om die Here te aanvaar, het my direkteur vir Frankie gefluister “sal jy daarvan hou om saam my vorentoe te gaan?” Sy het. Sy het die Here aanvaar, en omdat dit ‘n besonderse Baptist kerk denominasie was, was sy net 10 minute later gedoop. Die kerk het haar na ‘n spesiale middagete daardie dag genooi. 

Frankie had her baby and became very active in the church. We kept in touch for years.

Frankie het haar baba gehad en baie aktief in die kerk geword. Ons het vir jare in verbinding gebly.

Note:  Next week - Bring unwanted or unused curriculum to exchange or give away to someone in your class! Remember: Give and it shall be given! The Lord loves a cheerful giver.

Nota: Volgende week — Bring ongewenste of ongebruikte kurrikulum om te verruil of vir iemand in jou klas weg te gee! Onthou: Gee en dit sal vir jou gegee word! Die Here is lief vir ‘n blymoedige gewer.

Dear Grandma Irene,

Liewe Ouma Irene,

Thank you for the money you sent to me for my birthday. Do you know what I bought? I got a telescope so that I can look far away at the farms and the cows and look at the stars and the moon at night. They are so bright because we live in the country.

Dankie vir die geld wat jy vir my verjaardag gestuur het. Weet jy wat ek gekoop het? Ek het ‘n teleskoop gekry sodat ek ver weg na die plase en die koeie en die sterre en die maan in die aand kan kyk. Hulle is so helder omdat ons in die platteland bly.

Love,

Liefde,

Cooper