Day 17 My Spiritual Leader…

Dag 17 My Geestelike Leier...

Vandag se les is jou 4de Spirituele Mylpaal. 

Like before, what holds us back is FEAR. Often we draw back in fear and stop our Restoration Journey to reason. 

Soos vantevore, wat ons terughou is VREES. Dikwels tree ons terug in vrees en stop ons Herstel Reis. 

1 Corinthians 9:24

1 Korintiërs 9:24

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

Weet julle nie dat atlete wat aan ‘n wedloop deelneem, wel almal hardloop, maar dat net een die prys ontvang nie? Hardloop dan só dat julle die prys kan wen. 

Leap over this hurdle that trips up so many who have gone before you.

Spring oor hierdie probleem wat so baie van ons laat val het wat voor julle gegaan het.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB—

Spreuke 3:5-6 AFR 83— 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

“Vertrou volkome op die Here en moenie op jou eie insigte staatmaak nie. Ken Hom in alles wat jy doen en Hy sal jou die regte pad laat loop.”  

“But prove yourselves doers of the Word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves…not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does.” James 1:22,25

“Julle moet doen wat die woord sê en dit nie net aanhoor nie, anders bedrieg julle julleself...en nie vergeet wat hy hoor nie, maar dit doen, hy sal gelukkig wees in wat hy doen. 

“Why do you call me Lord and not do what I say?” Luke 6:46.

“Watter sin het dit dat julle My aanspreek met ‘Here, Here!’ en nie doen wat ek sê nie? Lukas 6:46.

My Spiritual Leader: Part 1

MY Spirituele Leier: Deel 1 

Though there is an entire Wise Woman chapter that goes into depth regarding spiritual leadership when you begin rebuilding your life again, let me touch on the most crucial point in marriage restoration after letting go and making the LORD your first love.

Alhoewel daar ‘n hele Wyse Vrou hoofstuk is wat in diepte gaan aangaande spirituele leierskap wanneer jy jou lewe weer begin herbou, laat ek die mees kritieke punt in jou huweliks herstel aanraak nadat jy laat gaan het en die HERE jou eerste liefde gemaak het.

Most women who come to us with marriages that have ended in unfaithfulness, separation and/or divorce have found many things in common—one, is that their EH "earthly husbands" were not (or no longer) interested in the things of God: they either stopped going to church or were never believers.

Meeste vrouens wat na ons toe kom met huwelike wat in ontrouheid geeindig het, afskeiding en/of egskeiding het baie dinge in gemeen gevind—een, is dat hulle AM “aardse mans” was nie (of is nie meer) geeinteresseerd in die dinge van God nie: hulle het of opgehou om kerk toe te gaan of was nooit gelowiges nie.

AND when a relationship is unequally yoked—it is MISERABLE for BOTH parties. That's right. Though you may have been frustrated, have you taken a moment to ever think of how it made your EH "earthly husbands" or FH "former husband" feel?

EN wanneer ‘n verhouding nie in dieselfde juk trek nie—is dit MISLUK vir ALBEI partye. Dit is reg. Alhoewel jy gefrustreerd mag wees, het jy ‘n oomblik geneem om te dink hoe dit jou AM “aardse man” maak voel het of VM “vorige man”.?

Men were designed and called to be the spiritual LEADERS of their families. But the truth is, MOST women unknowingly ROB men of their God-given position—due primarily because he simply fails to step up and fulfill his wife’s expectations and her insatiable spiritual hunger.

Mans was ontwerp en geroep om die spirituele LEIERS van hulle families te wees. Maar die waarheid is, MEESTE vrouens BEROOF mans van hulle God-gegewe posisie—primêr omdat hy eenvoudig faal om sy vrou se verwagtinge te vervul en haar onversadigde spirituele honger. 

Unfortunately, when we take over and fulfill our needs ourselves, we soon discover that our EH/FH have been led into sin and we are alone.

Ongelukkig, wanneer ons oorneem en ons benodighede self vervul, ontdek ons gou dat ons AM/VM in die sonde gelei is en is ons alleen.

The beginning of robbing your husband of his God-given position may begin by:

Die begin van jou man te beroof van sy God-gegewe posisie mag begin by:

  • Our EH/FH who were never believers, never wanted to go to church due to us making sure we bombarded him with how he doesn't measure up (as if we DID measure up). By us wrongly thinking that guilt or any other negative force would motivate him to want what we (said we) had.
  • Ons AM/FM wat nie gelowiges was nie, nooit kerk toe wou gaan nie as gevolg van ons wat hom bombadeer met hoe hy nie voldoen nie (asof ons voldoende is). Deur ons verkeerdelik dink dat skuld of enige negatiewe krag hom sal motiveer om te wil hê wat ons (gesê het) ons het. 
  • For the EH/FH who did go to church with us, we ended that by us simply elbowing or eying our husband during the sermon. And to finish it off, on the way home when we quizzed him about the sermon—until he stopped going.
  • Vir die AM/VM wat wel saam ons kerk toe gegaan het, het ons dit geeindig deur eenvoudig ons mans deur die  preek die elmboog te gee of skeef uit te kyk. En om dit te eindig, oppad huistoe oor die preek uit te vra—totdat hy opgehou het om te gaan. 
  • All too soon most husbands begin (or continue) to stay home from church, and choose, instead, to spend time watching sporting events or spend free time with other hobbies. While we are busy going to church Sunday morning and evening, and going to weekly Bible studies, we continue to damage our husbands' leadership. We often are seen carrying and reading OUR Bibles—thus further fulfilling our own spiritual needs and pushing our husbands farther away from God!
  • Al te vinnig begin meeste mans (of gaan voort) om weg te bly van die kerk af, en verkies, in plaas daarvan om tyd te spandeer deur sports gebeure te kyk of hulle vrye tyd met ander stokperdjies te spandeer. Terwyl ons besig is om Sondag oggend en aand kerk toe te gaan, en na weeklikse Bybel studies, ons hou aan om ons mans se leierskap te beskadig. Ons word dikwels gesien hoe ons ONS Bybels dra—en dus verder ons spirituele benodighede vervul en ons mans verder van God af stoot! 

*Then we’re surprised or shocked when our husbands find other interests—most often— immoral.

*Dan is ons verbaas of geskok wanneer ons mans ander belangstellings vind—heel dikwels—onsedelik. 

  • We love and listen to praise music, while our EH/FH prefer secular and even the immoral variety. That’s when WE point this fact out to him, maybe in front of his children, and sometimes to both his and our extended family— and if given the chance — our Christian friends (sometimes veiled under asking for "prayer" for our EH/FH). We may even go so far as to have the pastor or men at church go talk to ourEH/FH, driving him even further away from God.
  • Ons hou daarvan om na lofmusiek te luister, terwyl ons AM/VM sekulêre musiek verkies en selfs die onsedelike verskeidenheid. Dit is wanneer ons hierdie feit aan hom uitwys, miskien voor sy kinders, en somtyds aan albei sy en ons eksterne familie — en as jy die kans kry — ons Christelike vriende (somtyds gesluier onder vra vir “gebed” vir ons AM/VM). Ons mag dalk so ver gaan as om die pastoor of mans by die kerk te kry om met ons VM/AM te praat, en hom selfs verder weg van God te dryf.
  • Finally it’s WE who volunteer and often become one of the church leaders—certainly NOT our EH/FH. And just to further destroy him as a spiritual leader, we make sure we’ve been on our EH/FH about where and how he should be serving, which finally drives him out of the church and away from God entirely.
  • Finaal is dit ONS wat onderneem en dikwels een van die kerk leiers word—sekerlik NIE ons AM/VM nie. En net om hom verder te vernietig as ‘n spirituele leier, maak ons seker dat ons AM/VM voorsê oor waar en hoe hy moet dien, wat hom finaal uit die kerk uitdryf en heeltemal weg van God af.   
  • And for a few of you who actually were/are married to fallen "men of God" who were/are pastors, what about them? What have you done to encourage the destruction of him as your spiritual leader? Truthfully, only God knows, which is why you should ask Him.
  • En vir ‘n paar van julle wat eintlik met “afvallige“ mans van God getroud was/is wie pastore was/is wat van hulle? Wat het jy gedoen om die verwoesting van hom as jou spirituele leier aan te moedig? Waarlik, net God weet, wat die rede is hoekom jy Hom moet vra.

When I asked my HH "Heavenly Husband" this question in order to minister to you effectively, He came back asking, "A leader is only a leader if someone is following him. Ask these women if they were following their husbands' lead? Could your husband count on you for support and encouragement?"

Toe ek my HM “Hemelse Man” hierdie vraag gevra het om hom in staat te stel om effektief aan julle te minister, het hy teruggekom en gevra, “n Leier is net ‘n leier as iemand hom volg. Vra hierdie vrouens of hulle hulle mans se leiding gevolg het? Kan jou man op jou staatmaak vir ondersteuning en aanmoediging?”

Whether your EH/FH is/was a pastor or an unbeliever, what a "leader" needs is someone to support his role, NOT tear it down and follow his lead.

Of jou AM/FM ‘n pastoor was/is of ‘n ongelowige, wat ‘n “leier” nodig het is iemand om sy rol te ondersteun, NIE af te breek en sy leiding te volg nie.

What’s the Cure?

Wat is die Geneesmiddel?

I speak about it in more depth in my “Be Encouraged” videos, but basically what the Lord led me to do to remedy the problem was to rid myself totally of being “religious” and “self-righteous” because that is exactly what I had become!

Ek praat meer in diepte daaroor in my “Wees Aangemoedig” videos, maar basies wat die Here my gelei het om te doen om die probleem op te los was om totaal ontslae te raak van my “godsdienstigheid” en “eiegeregtigheid” omdat dit presies is wat ek geword het!   

God told me to get under the spiritual umbrella of protection He provided by putting away my Bible, STOP going to church, AND whenever my husband was around, turn OFF Christian music! What it did, at first, was to shock him (and everyone else). But even more wonderful was that it forced me to press into HIM more—knowing I now had to feed myself and my children spiritually—the church wasn’t doing it for us any more! And how well they had been feeding us, was reflected in what a mess my life and family's life was!!

God het vir my gesê om onder die spirituele sambreel van beskerming wat Hy voorsien het te kom deur my Bybel weg te sit en OP TE HOU om kerk toe te gaan, EN wanneer my man in die omtrek was, om die Christelike musiek AF TE SIT! Wat ek gedoen het, in die begin, was dit ‘n skok vir hom (en almal). Maar selfs meer wonderlik was dat dit my geforseer het om meer op HOM staat te maak—wetende dat ek nou myself en my kinders spiritueel moes voed—die kerk sou dit nie meer vir ons doen nie! En hoe goed hulle ons gevoed het, het weerkaats in watter gemors my lewe en familie lewe was.

Then guess what? That is when I really began to grow spiritually—for the first time in my life—huge growth spurts! My children also began to grow spiritually by leaps and bounds!! Because as I moved under my spiritual umbrella of protection, it automatically moved them under it as well!!

Toe raai wat? Dit is toe ek regtig spiritueel begin groei het—vir die eerste keer in my lewe—groot groei spronge! My kinders het ook met groot spronge begin groei!! Omdat soos wat ek onder my spirituele sambreel van beskerming beweeg het, hulle automaties ook onder dit beweeg het.

Not knowing how to really teach them, I began sharing what I was learning every day, discreetly of course, NOT speaking of their “sinful daddy,” which would undermine our restoration while destroying my children!

Deur nie te weet hoe om hulle regtig te leer nie, het ek begin deel wat ek elke dag geleer het, diskreet natuurlik, deur NIE te praat van hulle “sinvolle pappa,” nie wat ons herstel sou ondermyn het terwyl dit my kinders sou vernietig het! 

*And, by the way, I want you to know how well this worked when we stopped going to church, allowed my children's father room and time to begin to become the spiritual leader of the family. Every single one of my seven children, who are now adults, are all PASSIONATE Christians. And the oldest four are married to incredible Christians and more than half of my children work for churches and/or in missions.

*En, per toeval, wil ek hê jy moet weet hoe goed dit gewerk het toe ons opgehou het om kerk toe te gaan, en my kinders se pa plek toegelaat het om te begin om die spirituele leier van die familie te word. Elke enkel van my sewe kinders, wat nou volwasse is, is almal GEESDRIFTIGE CHRISTENE. En die oudste vier is getroud met ongelooflike Christene en meer as die helfte van my kinders werk vir kerke en/of sendings.

Are You Under Spiritual Protection?

Is Jy Onder Spirituele Beskerming? 

When a wife usurps her EH as the spiritual leader (usurp means to take away someone's rightful position of authority), she has destroyed spiritual umbrella of protection God gave to her. Soon her remedy it to begin going to church without her EH, and then soon finds herself alone in her marriage too.

 Wanneer ‘n vrou haar AM usurpeer as die spirituele leier (usurpeer beteken om iemand se regmatige posisie van autoriteit weg te neem), het sy die sambreel van beskerming wat God aan haar gegee het vernietig. Spoedig is haar geneesmiddel om kerk toe te gaan sonder haar AM, en vind sy haarself gou alleen in haar huwelik ook.

*Note: If you are divorced, your FH is not your protection, you have none, unless you've embraced becoming His bride whereby you have a HH.

*Nota: As jy geskei is, is jou VM nie jou beskerming nie, jy het geen, tensy jy om Sy bruid te wees omhels het waarby jy ‘n HM het.

This is a spiritual battle. That means if you are still the spiritual leader of your home, which means you go to church on your own, your EH is not taking you there, then you are destroying him, your children and yourself spiritually. The same goes for FH and attending.

Dit is ‘n spirituele stryd. Dit beteken as jy nog steeds die spirituele leier van jou huis is, wat beteken jy gaan alleen kerk toe, jou AM neem jou nie soontoe nie, dan vernietig jy hom, jou kinders en jouself spiritueel. Dieselfde gaan vir jou VM wat nie gaan nie.  

Without our EH/HH spiritual protection, many falsely believe that by remaining in church, we are at least under our churches’ spiritual protection. But are we?

Sonder ons AM/HM se spirituele beskerming, glo baie valslik dat deur by die kerk te bly, ons ten minste onder ons kerk se spirituele beskerming is. Maar is ons?

Two years into my ministry I would have shouted YES! But that was before I met a dear sweet woman who was a Mennonite. The first time she came to our Fellowship meeting she asked to speak to me alone, privately. Once inside my office almost immediately she began to cry, pulling down her black skirt tightly around her ankles as she began to confess to me that she had fallen into adultery! I was shocked because I saw her as the ultimate spiritual woman!

Twee jaar in my ministerie sou ek JA uitgeskree het! Maar dit was voor ek ‘n liewe dierbare vrou ontmoet het wat ‘n Mennoniet was. Die eerste keer wat sy na ons Gemeenskaps vergadering gekom het het sy gevra dat ek alleen met haar praat, privaat. Toe ons in my kantoor kom het sy amper onmiddelik begin huil, en haar swart romp styf teen haar enkels getrek toe sy begin bieg het dat sy by owerspel betrokke geraak het! Ek was geskok omdat ek haar as ‘n spirituele vrou gesien het!

The Lord brought her into my life and ministry to teach me about spiritual protection (and many other things). Prior to this experience, every other woman who came for help was due to her husband who was in adultery. This woman's husband was NOT a believer and never minded her going to church without him (just as so many husbands aren't bothered by it either). Not only did he not mind her going, he actually loved that she went to church because he believed that this was the spiritual covering she needed. And the head covering she wore was a symbol to everyone of how spiritual this woman was.

Die Here het haar in my lewe gebring om my oor spirituele beskerming te leer (en baie ander dinge). Voor hierdie ondervinding, het elke ander vrou wat gekom het om hulp gekom omdat hulle mans by owerspel betrokke was. Die vrou se man was NIE ‘n gelowige nie en het nie omgegee dat sy kerk toe gaan sonder hom nie (net soos baie mans ook nie daardeur gepla is nie). Nie alleen het hy nie omgegee dat sy gaan nie, hy het daarvan gehou dat sy kerk toe gaan omdat hy geglo het dat dit die spirituele dekking was wat sy nodig gehad het. En die kop bekleesel wat sy gedra het was ‘n simbool aan almal van watter spirituele vrou sy was.  

During our first meeting she cried buckets of tears and I had no idea how to help her because I couldn’t understand how this could have happened! She told me that she was a nurse at a hospital and it was the doctor she worked for whom she had become involved with.

Gedurende ons eerste ontmoeting het sy emmers trane gehuil ek het geen idee gehad hoe om haar te help nie omdat ek nie kon verstaan wat kon gebeur het nie! Sy het vir my gesê dat sy ‘n verpleegster by ‘n hospitaal was en dit was die dokter vir wie sy gewerk het by wie sy betrokke geraak het.  

That week I felt led to fast so that I could seek God in earnest for wisdom and hear Him clearly. The first thing He told me was that she would have to confess her sin to her husband. But even more importantly, I was to begin to teach her that her husband was her covering, NOT the church, nor what she wore on her head. And because her husband was not acting as her spiritual covering she had NO spiritual covering or protection—her sin was the proof.

Daardie week het ek gelei gevoel om te vas sodat ek God in alle erns kon nastreef vir wysheid en Hom duidelik hoor. Die eerste ding wat Hy my vertel het was dat sy haar sonde aan haar man moet bieg. Maar selfs meer belangrik, ek moes begin om haar te leer dat haar man haar dekking was, en NIE die kerk nie, nog minder wat sy op haar kop gedra het. En omdat haar man nie as haar spirituele dekking opgetree het nie het sy GEEN spirituele dekking of beskerming gehad nie—haar sonde was haar bewys.

This woman's entire testimony is wonderful and one of my absolute favorites. But let me cut to the end. Her husband forgave her and when she went to meet him (he left her after she confessed), she had removed her head covering and was dressed in pants (the church had thrown her out of the church also after she confessed to them). After her husband got over the shock, he wanted her to put her head covering back on, but she said she couldn’t and told him about him being her spiritual covering.

Die vrou se hele getuienis is wonderlik en absoluut een van my gunstelinge. Maar laat my tot op die einde kom. Haar man het haar vergewe en toe sy gaan om hom te ontmoet (hy het haar gelos nadat sy gebieg het), sy het haar kop bedeksel verwyder en het ‘n langbroek aangehad (die kerk het haar uit die kerk gegooi nadat sy aan hulle gebieg het). Nadat haar man oor die skok gekom het, wou hy gehad het sy moes haar kop bedeksel weer terugsit, maar sy het gesê sy kon nie en het hom vertel van hom wat haar spirituele dekking is.

One day on his way home he spotted a church that said “Bible” in its name and knew “that the Bible was good,” he later told me. He went in to speak to the pastor, telling him everything that had happened. The pastor  invited him to come back on Sunday and to bring his wife and children. That morning they sat in the front row (the first time this man was ever in church!) and went forward for the altar call, got saved, joined a men’s group, and became the Spiritual leader of his wife and family!!

Een dag oppad huistoe het hy ‘n kerk opgemerk wat gesê het “Bybel” in die naam en het geweet dat “die Bybel goed is,” het hy my later vertel. Hy het ingegaan en met die pastoor gepraat, en hom alles vertel wat gebeur het. Die pastoor het hom genooi om Sondag terug te kom en sy vrou en kinders te bring. Daardie oggend het hulle in die voorste ry gesit (die eerste keer wat hierdie man ooit in die kerk was!) en het vorentoe gegaan met die altaar oproep, gered geword, by ‘n mans groep aangesluit, en die Spirituele leier van sy vrou en familie geword!!  

Before moving on I need to speak to a few of you. Many, many women confess to us that they have been unfaithful to their EH/FH and go on to say that he doesn't know. If you have been intimate with anyone in your marriage, you must confess it to your husband no matter what: no matter how long ago it was or what you believe will happen if you confess. God says this in Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."

Voordat ek aanbeweeg moet ek met ‘n paar van julle praat. Baie, baie vrouens bieg dat hulle ontrou aan hulle AM/VM was en gaan aan om te sê dat hy nie weet nie. As jy intiem was met enige iemand in jou huwelik, moet jy by jou man bieg maak nie saak wat nie: maak nie saak hoe lank terug dit was nie of wat jy glo sal gebeur as jy bieg. God sê dit is Spreuke 28:13 “Wie sy sonde wegsteek, moet niks goed te wagte wees nie; wie sy sonde bely en daarvan afsien, sal genade ontvang.” 

 Your Way or God’s Way?

Jou Manier of God se Manier? 

Instead of doing it God’s way, as the Lord led us to do with this sweet Mennonite woman, you may choose to continue to do what NEVER really works. It's what the majority of Christian women do, and WHY so many men are leaving the church or think that church is not for them.

In plaas daarvan om dit op God se manier te doen, soos wat die Here ons gelei het met hierdie goedhartige Mennoniet vrou, mag jy verkies om aan te gaan en te doen wat NOOIT regtig werk nie. Dit is wat die meerderheid Christen vroue doen en HOEKOM so baie mans die kerk verlaat of dink dat die kerk nie vir hulle is nie. 

Men need to be given ROOM to return and LEAD his family. But as long as you take this role, as long as you make him feel inferior, there is NO WAY this is going to happen!

Mans moet PLEK kry om terug te kom en sy familie te LEI. Maar solank as wat jy die rol speel, solank as jy hom minderwaardig laat voel, is daar GEEN MANIER wat dit gaan gebeur nie! 

How important is your EH's/FH's spiritual condition? Are you willing to LET GO of your church and no longer go to church, in order to make room for your husband to come to or return back to God?

Hoe belangrik is jou AM/VM se spirituele kondisie? Is jy gewillig om jou kerk te LAAT GAAN en nie meer kerk toe gaan nie, om in staat te wees om plek vir jou man te maak om na of terug te kom God toe?

Let's also agree on one thing: As with many Christian women, it is very likely that you have probably revealed your EH's/FH's sin to your pastor when you went to him for help or if your EH/FH stopped going to church. Very often we ask for prayer for our situation so that soon everyone in our church knows about our husbands' sin. So let me ask you, how could your EH/FH go to church again, especially the church you may still be attending?

Laat ons ook oor een ding saamstem: Soos met baie Christen vrouens, is dit baie klaarblyklik dat jy moontlik jou AM/VM se sonde aan jou pastoor onthul het toe jy na hom toe gegaan het vir hulp of as jou AM/VM opgehou het om kerk toe te gaan. Baie dikwels vra ons vir gebed in ons situasie sodat almal in ons kerk weet wat ons mans se sonde is. So laat my jou vra, hoe kan jou AM/VM weer kerk toe gaan, spesiaal die kerk wat jy nog steeds mag bywoon?  

Once again, how important is your EH's/FH's spiritual state to you? Are you willing to LET GO of your church and church attendance to make room for your EH/FH to come to or back to God?

Weereens, hoe balanrik is jou AM/VM se spirituele staat vir jou? Is jy gewillig om jou kerk TE LAAT GAAN en kerk bywoning om plek te maak vir jou AM/VM om na of terug te kom God toe?

My motivation was my children—primarily my three sons. I knew that my sons would be influenced by what their father did or did not do and grow up being like him. Once a boy (or girl) is old enough to rebel and not attend church, he or she will—especially when their father doesn’t go! And it's not a matter or attending or not attending—it's that they walk away from GOD entirely!

My motivering was my kinders—hoofsaaklik my drie seuns. Ek het geweet dat my seuns beinvloed sou word deur wat hulle pa gedoen het of nie gedoen het en grootword om net soos hy te wees. Sodra ‘n seun(of meisie) oud genoeg is om te rebelleer en nie kerk by te woon nie, sal hy of sy—spesiaal wanneer hulle vaders nie gaan nie! En dit is nie ‘n saak van bywoon of nie bywoon nie—dit is dat hulle heeltemal van God af wegloop!

Even if you don’t (yet) have children, your EH's/FH's spiritual state is what will be the deciding factor in your restoration because without spiritual strength he will NEVER be able break free from his sin.

Selfs al het jy (of nog nie) kinders nie, jou AM/VM se spirituele toestand is wat die deurslaggewende faktor in jou herstel sal wees omdat sonder spirituele krag hy NOOIT in staat sal wees om vry te breek van sy sonde nie.

"His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin"—Proverbs 5:22

“Die oortreding van die goddelose agterhaal hom, hy draai hom vas in sy sonde”—Speuke 5:22 

 "Or how can anyone enter the strong man’s house and carry off his property, unless he first BINDS the strong man? And then he will plunder his house"—Matthew 12:29 

“Hoe kan iemand tog by die huis van ‘n sterk man ingaan en sy goed vat as hy nie vooraf die sterk man vasbind nie? Eers dan sal hy sy huis kan beroof”—Matteus 12:29 

In addition to making room for your EH/FH to come back to God, most of us, as I said, used our spiritual arrogance to drive our EHs/FHs out of the church and away from God. However, once you make your church and your religious behavior non-existent, your EH/FH may be shocked, and so will others who may even believe and accuse you of being back-slidden!

Ter aanvulling om plek te maak vir jou AM/VM om terug te kom na God toe, meeste van ons, soos ek gesê het, het ons spirituele arrogansie gebruik om ons AM/VM uit die kerk en weg van God af te dryf. Nietemin, sodra jou kerk en jou geestelike gedrag nie meer bestaan nie, mag jou AM/VM  geskok wees, en so sal ander wie selfs mag glo en jou beskuldig dat jy afvallig is!   

Yet, to me, the spiritual future of my sons, combined with my own restoration, was far more important than what anyone thought! They all believed I was crazy anyway!!

Tog, vir my, die spirituele toekoms van my seuns, gekombineer met my eie herstel, was ver meer belangrik as wat enige iemand gedink het! Hulle het in elk geval almal gedink ek was kranksinnig!! 

But the most amazing thing happened—what I did NOT expect is that once I no longer relied on my pastor or going to church or going to Bible study classes for my spiritual nourishment—I found myself (and YOU will too) clinging more and more to the Lord, becoming HIS BRIDE!!! You and everyone will begin to see changes in you… not of the "religious" nature, but much more Christ-like.

Maar die mees ontsagwekkende ding het gebeur—wat ek NIE verwag het nie is dat ek nie meer op myself of my pastoor staat gemaak het vir my spirituele voeding nie—en het myself gevind (en jy sal ook) dat ek meer en meer aan die Here vashou, en SY BRUID word!!! Jy en almal sal begin om veranderinge te sien in jou… nie van die “spirituele” soort nie, maar meer soos Christus. 

It was during my no church attendance that I devoured the Bible and began to know the Bible for the first time ever! Within such a short time, women were saying that I was a Bible scholar, LOL, ME! And I was also able to hold my own with pastors when I continued looking for a church who believed as I did about restoration! Imagine that!

Dit was gedurende my geen kerk bywoning dat ek die Bybel verslind het en die Bybel begin ken het vir die eerste keer ooit! Binne ‘n kort tydperk, het vrouens begin sê dat ek ‘n Bybel skolier was, Ha Ha, EK! En ek was in staat om met my eie pastore te kompeteer toe ek voort gegaan het om te soek vir ‘n kerk wat geglo het wat ek het oor herstel! Verbeel jou dit!  

This is one thing I knew right away—I could NOT stay in a church that didn’t believe that divorce was wrong and were eager to help me seek restoration for my marriage, giving me the Bible (and not psychology) to help me! I never found a church who was carefully teaching the truth on marriage, divorce, separation and what God says clearly in His Word. Now I know why He would not allow me to find a church, it was for many reasons.

Dit is een ding wat ek dadelik geweet het—ek kon NIE in ‘n kerk bly wat nie geglo het dat egskeiding verkeerd is en ywerig was om my te  help om herstel vir my huwelik na te streef nie, en my die Bybel (en nie sielkunde) gee om my te help nie! Ek het nooit ‘n kerk gevind wat versigtig was om die waarheid te onderrig oor die huwelik, egskeiding, verwydering en wat God duidelik in Sy Woord sê. Nou weet ek hoekom Hy my nie toegelaat het om ‘n kerk te vind nie, dit was vir baie redes. 

FIRST, I needed to focus on restoration, not just studying the Bible or good sermons. My marriage and family was dying! I needed large doses of the truth to heal me, more than a few services a week that didn't focus on what I desperately needed.

EERSTENS, moes ek fokus op herstel, nie net die Bybel bestudeer oor goeie preke nie. My huwelik en familie was besig om dood te gaan! Ek het groot dosisse van die waarheid nodig gehad om my te genees meer as ‘n paar dienste ‘n week wat nie gefokus het op wat ek desperaat nodig gehad het nie.

Second, when I was restored it gave my husband the opportunity to find a church for us. And he did!!

Tweedens, toe ek herstel was het dit my man die geleentheid gegee om ‘n kerk vir ons te vind. En hy het!! 

But even more important than that, I know it was because God wanted me to experience what it was like to be His church—the One Jesus comes back for—His bride!!

Maar selfs meer belangrik as dit, ek weet dit was omdat God wou hê dat ek moes ervaar hoe dit is om Sy kerk te wees—die een waarvoor Jesus terugkom—Sy bruid! 

  • He’s not coming for a building is He?
  • Hy kom nie vir ‘n gebou nie doen Hy?
  • He’s not coming back for everyone sitting in the church pews either.
  • Hy kom ook nie vir almal wat op die kerk bankies sit nie.
  • He is coming back for His bride! And that’s who I am now—and who I hope you will become as you discover that YOU can be His bride while making room for your husband to become the spiritual leader of your family!!
  • Hy kom terug vir Sy bruid! En dit is wie ek nou is—en wie ek hoop jy sal word soos jy ontdek dat JY sy bruid kan wees terwyl jy plek maak vir jou man om die spirituele leier van jou familie te wees!! 

"For nothing [NOT one thing] will be impossible with God"—Luke 1:37

“Niks is vir God onmoontlik nie”—Lukas 1:37

"And looking at them Jesus said to them, 'With people this is impossible, but WITH GOD all things are possible”—Matthew 19:26

“Jesus het reguit na hulle gekyk en gesê; “Vir mense is dit onmoontlik, maar vir God is alles moontlik.”—Matteus 19:26

"Looking at them, Jesus said, 'With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible WITH GOD'”—Mark 10:27

“Jesus het reguit na hulle gekyk en gesê: “Vir mense is dit onmoontlik maar nie vir God nie, want vir God is alles moontlik.”—Markus 10:27 

"But He said, 'The things that are impossible with people are possible WITH GOD'"—Luke 18:27

“Daarop antwoord Hy: “Wat vir die mense onmoontlik is, is vir God moontlik.”—Lukas 18:27

If you are working WITH God and trusting Him and His principles—nothing [not one thing] is impossible!!

As jy saam MET God werk en op Hom en Sy prinsiepe vertrou—is niks [nie een ding nie] onmoontlik nie!

Read the following Praise Report submitted by ~ Cierra in Kentucky who's been restored for years and blessed with 2 restoration babies—so she knows!

Lees die volgende Lof Verslag ingedien deur ~ Cierra in Kentucky wie vir jare herstel is en geseën is met 2 herstel babas—so sy weet!

“Oh Daddy, Can I Pray First!!”

“o Pappa, Kan Ek Eerste Bid!!”

It just brings a smile to my face when I reflect on how amazingly awesome our Beloved is. During the course of my Restoration Journey, I came to learn the importance of ensuring our EH was our spiritual leader. I left my church and put away all of the “holy” things that could be perceived. I didn’t read my Bible or sing praise and worship music in front of him. I waited to do all of these things when he was gone, and PTL my Beloved allowed him to be gone from our home for long periods of time, which allowed me ample opportunity to be alone with my Love. It was during these quiet moments alone with my HH that I prayed that if it be His will that when He restored my marriage that He also prepare my EH to become our spiritual leader. Well, ladies today I am giving thanks to my Heavenly Love because this is just another prayer answered.

Dit bring ‘n glimlag op my gesig wanneer ek nadink oor hoe ontsagwekkend ons Beminde is. Gedurende die verloop van my Herstel Reis, het ek geleer hoe belangrik dit is om te verseker dat ons AM ons spirituele leier is. Ek het my kerk gelos en al die “heilige” goed weggesit wat gesien kon word. Ek het nie my Bybel gelees of lof en aanbidding musiek voor hom gesing nie. Ek het gewag om al hierdie dinge te doen terwyl hy weg was, en PDJ my Beminde het my toegelaat om weg van ons huis te wees vir lang periodes van tyd, wat my volop geleentheid toegelaat het om alleen saam met my Geliefde te wees. Dit was gedurende hierdie stil oomblikke alleen met my HM dat ek gebid het dat as dit Sy wil behaag dat wanneer Hy my huwelik herstel dat Hy ook my AM voorberei om ons spirituele leier te word. Wel, dames vandag gee ek dank aan my Hemelse Geliefde omdat dit net nog ‘n beantwoorde gebed is.   

Earlier this week my EH announced that we would begin every single morning with family prayer. He said that before we did anything, including brushing our teeth, that we would start our day with prayer. WOW!!! This is coming from a man that stopped going to church when he moved out of his parents home and his mother could no longer force him to go! Now, he is earnestly seeking the will that our HH has for his life. This is just truly amazing and a wonderful miracle to witness. His earnest desire to seek our HH has led to an amazing peace throughout our home, and my two oldest children too are genuinely interested in establishing an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Love!!! When we gather to pray my oldest son eagerly shouts “Oh Daddy, can I pray first!!” It brings tears to my eyes and I am just so filled with praise!

Vroeër hierdie week het my AM aangekondig dat hy gaan begin om elke oggend met familie in gebed te spandeer. Hy het gesê dat voor ons enige iets doen, insluitende om ons tande te borsel, dat ons ons dag met gebed gaan begin. WOW!!! Dit kom van ‘n man wat opgehou het om kerk toe te gaan toe hy uit sy ouers se huis getrek het en sy ma hom nie kon forseer om te gaan nie! Nou, soek hy ywerig die wil wat ons HM het vir sy lewe. Dit is werklik ontsagwekkend en ‘n wonderlike wonderwerk om van te getuig. Sy ywerige begeerte om ons HM na te streef het tot ‘n ontsagwekkende vrede deur ons huis gelei, en my twee oudste kinders is ook werklik geinteresseerd om ‘n intieme verhouding met ons Hemelse Liefde te hê!!! Wanneer ons saamkom om te bid skree my oudste seun ywerig uit “o Pappa, kan ek eerste bid!!” Dit bring trane in my oë en ek is so vervul met lof! 

I am in awe at how incredible my Journey has been with Him! I am so thankful for the moments of peace and prosperity that He provides, but I am most thankful for the darkness, sorrow, and affliction experienced. It was through the latter that I pressed into Him more, and really came to know who He was. It was during these times that I was more in tune with Him and very aware of how He was blessing me. While these times were not fun and often filled with tearful sowing, I am thankful that He also promises joyful reaping and shouting!!! Those who sow with tears, will reap with songs of joy. (Psalms 126:5 NIV)

Ek is in vervoering oor hoe ongelooflik my Reis met Hom was! Ek is so dankbaar vir die oomblikke van vrede en vooruitgang wat Hy voorsien, maar ek is meer dankbaar vir die donkerte, die smart, en beproewing wat ek ondervind het. Dit was deur die beproewings wat ek meer op Hom gesteun het, en regtig geleer het wie Hy was. Dit was gedurende hierdie tye dat ek meer in harmonie met Hom was en baie bewus van hoe Hy my seën. Terwyl hierdie tye nie pret was nie en dikwels met trane gesaai, ek is dankbaar dat Hy ook vreugdevolle gemaai en gejuig belowe!!! Wie met trane saai, sal die oes met gejuig inbring. (Psalm 126:5 AFR83)  

I want to encourage you today to continue to hold His hand and stay the course that He has ordained for you! He is with you, planning, directing, and orchestrating the outcome so that you can find the abundant life here on earth until we transition to the everlasting eternal with Him! I pray your strength and endurance!!

Ek wil julle vandag aanmoedig om voort te gaan om Sy hand vas te hou en op die koers te bly wat Hy vir jou georden het! Hy is by jou, beplan, lei en orkestreer die uitkoms sodat jy die oorvloedige lewe hier op aarde kan vind totdat ons tot die na ewigdurende oorgaan met Hom! Ek bid jou krag en uithouvermoë!! 

If you are still struggling with letting go of your church CLICK HERE to read more testimonies.

As jy nog steeds sukkel om van jou kerk te laat gaan KLIK HIER om meer getuienisse te lees.

“...en julle sal die waarheid ken, en die waarheid sal julle vry maak.” —Joh 8:32 

Nou is dit tyd om HIER TE KLIK en jou hart aan die Here uit te stort en te joernaal “Wat ek Geleer Het.”