Day 16

Dag 16

Dealing with Adultery


Hantering van Owerspel...

but first a few Restored Marriage Testimonies

maar eers ‘n paar Herstelde Huweliks Getuienisse

 

Restoration after Crisis in Florida

Herstel na ‘n krisis in Florida

When a young woman began to read in the book the account of Peter being asked to get out of the boat and walk toward our Lord, she realized that she, too, was asked to walk on water. Her husband had just left her. She didn’t know where he was. When she finally heard from him, he then called regularly to speak to the children, but refused to talk to her. As she searched for someone to help her and give her the hope she needed, all said the same thing: “Move on. Your marriage is hopeless. He’s happy where he is.”

Toe ‘n jong vrou in die boek die verhaal van Petrus wat gevra was om uit die boot te klim en na die Here toe te loop begin lees het, het sy ook besef, dat, sy gevra was om op water te loop. Haar man het haar onlangs gelos. Sy het nie geweet waar hy was nie. Toe sy uiteindelik van hom hoor, het hy geskakel om met die kinders te praat, maar hy het geweier om met haar te praat. Soos wat sy gesoek het vir iemand om haar te help en haar die hoop te gee wat sy nodig gehad het, het almal dieselfde ding gesĂȘ: “Beweeg aan. Jou huwelik is hopeloos. Hy is gelukkig waar hy is.”  

She began to read and meditate on the Scriptures in her book. She found the Scriptures that showed she had violated MANY principles in her marriage. Then she learned about God’s presence in the storms she was experiencing. All this helped her to believe that nothing was impossible for God—not even her broken marriage! She began applying the principles found in How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. However, things didn’t get any better with her husband. He didn’t seem to care or even notice the changes God was making in her.

Sy het begin lees en mediteer oor die Heilige Skrif in haar boek. Sy het die Heilige Skrif gevind wat gewys het dat sy BAIE prinsiepe in haar huwelik oortree het. Toe het sy geleer van God se teenwoordigheid in die storms wat sy besig was om te ervaar. Dit het haar alles gehelp om te glo dat niks onmoontlik was vir God nie—nie eens haar gebroke huwelik nie! Sy het begin om die prinsiepe wat sy in die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel begin aanwend. Nietemin, dinge het nie beter geword met haar man nie. Dit het nie gelyk asof hy omgegee het of selfs die veranderinge wat God besig was om in haar te doen agter gekom het nie. 

After a year of believing for her marriage, she prayed for just one other person to help her make it through. God brought a woman into her life who was also believing for her marriage. Together they began applying the principles found in How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage.

Na ‘n jaar van glo in haar huwelik, het sy gebid vir net een persoon om haar te help om dit deur te maak. God het ‘n vrou in haar lewe gebring wat ook in haar huwelik geglo het. Saam het hulle die prinsiepe begin aanwend wat in die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel gevind is.

However, both women’s trials became worse the more they shared the principles in the book with others they met and the more they prayed. A major crisis hit when her husband moved close by to see the children; he secretly brought the adulterous woman to live with him. Then, without any warning, her husband divorced her! Still determined, she applied the principles found in the RYM book even more.

Nietemin, het albei vrouens se beproewings erger begin raak hoe meer hulle die prinsiepe in die boek met ander wat hulle ontmoet het gedeel het en en hoe meer hulle gebid het. ‘n Groot krisis het ontstaan toe haar man nader getrek het om die kinders te sien; hy het in die geheim die owerspelige vrou saam gebring om saam hom te bly. Toe, sonder enige waarskuwing, het haar man haar geskei! Nog vasbeslote, het sy die prinsiepe wat sy in die HJH boek selfs meer toegepas. 

The victory finally came as her husband finally sent the other woman packing and returned home. This woman gives “God the glory for His grace that helped her.” He taught her to keep her eyes on the Lord rather than looking at her hopeless circumstances.

Die oorwinning het finaal gekom toe haar man finaal die ander vrou weg gestuur het en terug huistoe gekom het. Die vrou gee “God die glorie vir Sy genade wat haar gehelp het.” Hy het haar geleer om haar oĂ« op die Here te hou eerder as om na haar hopelose omstandighede te kyk.

~Teri in Florida, RESTORED

~Teri in Florida, HERSTEL

Marriage Restored after SEVEN Years of Separation!!

Huwelik Herstel na SEWE Jare van Afskeiding!!

A woman wrote that she ordered several “sets” of books from us to give out to those she met in marital crisis. She says she noticed something wonderful: that ALL those who “read and applied” QUICKLY got out of their marital troubles!!! Her most recent praise report was of a broken marriage that was just restored after SEVEN YEARS OF SEPARATION!! She wrote, “Praise the Lord, again, and thank you for this ministry!” Then a few weeks later we got HER Restored Marriage Testimony!

‘n Vrou het geskryf dat sy verskeie “stelle” boeke van ons bestel het om uit te gee aan die wat hulle in huweliks krisis bevind. Sy het gesĂȘ sy het iets wonderlik agter gekom: dat ALMAL wat “gelees en aangewend het” GOU uit hulle huweliks krisisse gekom het!!! Haar lof verslag wat sy onlangs ingedien het was oor ‘n huwelik wat na SEWE JARE VAN AFSKEIDING herstel is!! Sy het geskryf, “Prys die Here, weer, en dankie vir die ministerie!” Toe ‘n paar weke later het ons HAAR Herstelde Huwelik Getuienis gekry!

~Polly in Wisconsin, RESTORED

~Polly in Wisconsin, HERSTEL

I'm Restored and have a New Baby too!

Ek is Herstel en het ‘n Nuwe Baba ook!

I have to share my story — it is a perfect miracle from God!! My husband told me he wanted a divorce; then only one month later, I discovered I was pregnant with our first child! I gave my husband the news, but it did not change his feelings. I was asked to move out of our home ten days later. I requested prayer for my situation from a fellow Christian in the same situation who told me that I needed to get a copy of Erin's book on marriage restoration. I was so desperate I carried the book everywhere and read it whenever I had a spare moment! The promises God has given us in His Word that I found in that book gave me more comfort than I can explain. 

Ek moet my storie deel — dit is ‘n perfekte wonderwerk van God!! My man het vir my gesĂȘ hy wil ‘n egskeiding hĂȘ; toe ‘n maand later, het ek uitgevind dat ek swanger was met ons eerste kind! Ek het vir my man die nuus gegee, maar dit het nie sy gevoelens verander nie. Tien dae later het hymy gevra om uit te trek. Ek het gebed vir my situasie gevra by ‘n mede Christen wat in dieselfde situasie was en wat vir my gesĂȘ het ek moet ‘n afskrif van Erins se boek oor huweliks herstel kry. Ek was so desperaat ek het die boek orals gedra en gelees wanneer ek ‘n spaar oombik gehad het! Die beloftes wat God ons in Sy Woord gee wat ek in daardie boek gevind het het my meer troos gegee as wat ek kan verduidelik. 

Knowing what this book did for me, I began buying them and giving them out to everyone who I heard were in marriage crisis. I kept hearing about how their marriages were restored, so why not mine. Following the book, I didn't speak with my husband for several weeks and then one day he called and said he had quit his job. That meant I was no longer covered under his insurance anymore and I was 4 months pregnant!

Wetende wat  die boek vir my gedoen het, het ek hulle begin koop en uitgee aan almal wat ek gehoor het in huweliks krisis was. Ek het aanhou hoor oor hoe hulle huwelike herstel is, so hoekom nie myne nie. Deur die boek te volg, het ek vir etlike weke nie met my man gepraat nie en toe skakel hy een dag en sĂȘ hy hy sy werk bedank. Dit het beteken dat hy nie meer deur sy assuransie gedek was nie en ek was 4 maande swanger!  

Then only three months later, in my seventh month, my husband asked me to reconcile our marriage. I prayed it would happen, but didn't realize it would be so soon! Now I back in our home and we have a beautiful 3-month-old son. We have so many blessings in our life it brings tears to my eyes when I think of them. I am a blessed woman and will forever be humbled by my Lord's power and for the woman who reached out to me and gave me hope.

Toe net drie maande later, in die swenede maand, het my man my gevra om ons huwelik te versoen.

~Nina in Nevada, RESTORED

~Nina in Nevada, HERSTEL

 Dealing with Adultery

Hantering van Owerspel

Almost every woman who comes to us seeking help is trying to come to grips with her husband’s adultery.

Amper elke vou wat na ons toe kom om hulp probeer om hulle mans se owerspel te hanteer.

The world has all kinds of remedies to deal with it: foolish things like finding someone new (to make their husband jealous), or trying to seduce him into being faithful to her.

Die wĂȘreld het allerlei geneesmiddels om mee af te reken: dwaasagtige dinge soos om iemand nuut te vind (om hulle mans jaloers te maak), of om hulle te probeer verlei om getrou aan haar te wees.

Some marriage ministries believe that chasing husbands are the way, only to find that he has erected what we've come to call a "hate wall."

Sommige huweliks ministeries glo dat om mans agterna te sit die enigste manier is, net om uit te vind dat hy ‘n “haat muur” gebou het.”

NO solution that originates with man can ever help—but in fact, will make and has made things much worse.

GEEN oplossing wat by ‘n mens die oorsprong het kan ooit help nie—eintlik, sal dit en het dit dinge baie erger gemaak. 

The reason is, just as in the field of medicine, they often do not seek the source. They don’t try to find out what is at the root and find out what caused this malady or difficulty. Instead the so-called "experts" focus on dealing with the symptom—not the cause.

Die rede is, net soos in die veld van medisyne, hulle soek dikwels nie die bron nie. Hulle probeer nie uitvind wat die wortel is en vind uit wat die moeilikheid veroorsaak het nie. In plaas daarvan fokus die so-genoemde “deskundiges” om met die simptoom af te reken— nie die oorsaak nie.

What is at the source of my husband’s adultery?

Wat is die bron van my man se owerspel?

Well, because your life is on the line I need to be completely honest and blunt. I will simply tell you the absolute truth. It is due to your adultery.

Wel, omdat jou lewe op die spel is moet ek heeltemal eerlik en reguit wees. Ek sal jou eenvoudig die absolute waarheid vertel. Dit is as gevolg van jou owerspel.

So now you’re saying (or screaming): MY adultery!?!?!?! Are you kidding??? I have been faithful to my husband!!!!

So nou sĂȘ jy (of skree):MY owerspel!?!?!?! Jy speel seker??? Ek was getrou aan my man!!!! 

Actually, no: No you haven’t.

Eintlik, nee: Jy was nie.

The truth is, you have been unfaithful to your Bridegroom. As soon as you chose Jesus as your Savior, you were called to be His Bride. A Bride that He has promised to come back for when God says it’s time. However, while you wait, He asked you to be FAITHFUL to Him—He expects to be your FIRST love!

Die waarheid is, jy was ontrou aan jou Bruidegom. Die oomblik wat jy Jesus Christus as jou Redder gekies het, was jy geroep om Sy Bruid te wees. ‘n Bruid wat Hy belowe het om voor terug te kom wanneer God sĂȘ dit is tyd. Nietemin, terwyl jy wag, Vra Hy jou om GETROU aan Hom te wees—Hy verwag om jou EERSTE liefde te wees!

“But I have this against you, that you have left your first love”—Revelation 2:4

“Maar daar is een ding wat My baie ongelukkig maak en wat Ek nie kan oorsien nie. Julle is nie meer sos lojaal en liefdevol teenoor My soos julle eers was nie”—Openbaring 2:4

As soon as He saw your unfaithfulness begin in your heart—that’s when the trouble began to brew in your marriage. And no matter how many troubles you had, you still chose to focus on your relationship with your earthly husband— not on Him.

Die minuut wat hy die ontrouheid wat in jou hart begin het gesien het—dit is toe dat die moeilikhied in jou huwelik begin broei het. En maak nie saak hoeveel moeilkheid jy gehad het nie, jy verkies nog steeds om op jou verhouding met jou aardse man te fokus—nie op Hom nie. 

“For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His”—2 Chronicles 16:9

“Die Here het sy oĂ« oral op die aarde sodat Hy diĂ© kan help wat met hulle hele hart op Hom vertrou” —2 Kronieke 16:9 

That’s when He realized He had to turn the other man’s heart (your earthly husband) away from you!

Dit is toe wat Hy besef het Hy moet die ander man se hart (jou aardse man) wegdraai van jou af.

“The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes”—Proverbs 21:1

“Die wil van die koning staan onder die gesag van die Here; soos ‘n stroom water lei Hy dit soos Hy verkies”—Spreuke 21:1 

And instead of turning back to the Lord, making HIM FIRST, instead you slapped Him in the face and you longed for your husband and not Him.

En in plaas daarvan dat jy terug keer na die Here toe, en HOM EERSTE maak, klap jy Hom deur die gesig en begeer jou man en nie Hy nie.

That’s when He realized He would need to remove your husband (even more) out of your life, so He can be FIRST.

Dit is toe wat Hy besef het Hy sal jou man moet verwyder (selfs meer) uit jou lewe uit, sodat Hy EERSTE kan wees.

“You have removed lover and friend far from me”—Psalm 88:18

“U laat my vriende en my bure ver van my af staan”—Psalm 88:19 

“You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out”—Psalm 88:8

“U laat my bekendes ver van my af staan en maak my vir hulle iets afskuweliks; ek sit vasgevang en kan nie uitkom nie”—Psalm 88:8

Most of you are shut up and imprisoned with pain, with no one who understands. The question is: Did God take your husband away just to be mean?

Meeste van julle bly stil en is in pyn vasgevang, met niemand wat verstaan nie. Die vraag is: Het God jou man weggevat net om gemeen te wees? 

No, He did it because He loves you. He knows that no one could ever LOVE you like HE does, and that finding someone else to take His place in your life, making them FIRST in your heart (like your husband or ex), makes you vulnerable to being mistreated: used and abused.

Nee, Hy het dit gedoen omdat Hy vir jou lief is. Hy weet dat niemand jou kan LIEFHÊ soos HY nie, en dat om iemand anders te kry om Sy plek in jou lewe te neem, hulle EERSTE in jou hart te plaas (soos jou man of jou eks), maak jou kwesbaar om mishandel:gebruik en misbruik te word. 

Even though He has already removed your lover, the man who has captivated you, you continue to pine after and yearn for your other lover and NOT the Lord. To help you understand His plan for your life read Hosea 2:7:

Alhoewel Hy alreeds jou minnaar, die man wat jou bekoor verwyder het , gaan jy voort om te treur en te hunker na jou ander minnaar en NIE die Here nie. Om jou te help om Sy plan vir jou lewe te verstaan lees Hosea 2:7: 

“She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first Husband, for it was better for me then than now!’”

“En as sy dan haar minnaars probeer opsoek en hulle nie raakloop nie, hulle soek en nie kry nie, sal sy dalk sĂȘ: “Ek sal na my eie man toe teruggaan, want ek was by hom beter versorg as nou.”

The moment, the instant that the Lord knows you can be FAITHFUL to Him ONLY, only then will He be free to give you the desires of your heart, which right now is your husband.

Die moment, die oomblik wat die Here weet dat jy GETROU aan Hom ALLEEN is, net dan sal Hy vry wees om jou die begeertes van jou hart te gee, wat nou jou man is.  

“Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart”—Psalm 37:4

“Vind jou vreugde in die Here, en Hy sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer”—Psalm 37:4

What is even more interesting, though, is this—when the moment finally happens, your husband will not be the desire of your heart—the Lord will!

Wat selfs meer interessant is, nietemin, is dit—wanneer die moment finaal gebeur, sal jou man nie die begeerte van jou hart wees nie—die Here sal!

If you ever took time to really look intently at the Restored Marriage Testimonies, you will notice one common gold thread that runs through everyone of them. Each woman fell in love with the Lord and as a result— restoration, their husband, and everything else no longer mattered—everything was added to her life!

As jy ooit tyd gevat het om regtig aandagtig na die Herstelde Huweliks Getuienisse te kyk, sal jy agter kom dat daar een algemene draad deur elke een van hulle hardloop. Elke vrou het verlief geraak op die Here en as ‘n resultaat—herstel, hulle mans, en niks anders het saak gemaak nie—alles was by haar lewe gevoeg!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and ALL these things will be added to you"—Matthew 6:33

“Nee beywer julle allereers vir die koninkryk van God en vir die wil van God dan sal Hy julle ook al hierdie dinge gee”—Mattheus 6:33

In my own Restored Marriage Testimony I share how I actually tried to negotiate with God to leave things as they were. I had never been more content and joyful in all of my life! And just so you can grasp the full impact of me asking God to “leave things just as they are”—my four children and I were living on food stamps. We lived in a run down townhouse and we slept on mattresses on the floor. We kept the few clothes we had in a plastic baskets. At the same time, I had no idea if our previous possessions still existed (like all my children’s baby pictures, furniture, kitchen items, all our clothes, everything we owned) since my husband had cleaned out our house while the children and I were on vacation visiting my parents. Prior to this we lived in a Country Club with a huge home!

In my eie Herstelde Huweliks Getuienis deel ek hoe ek eintlik probeer het om met God te onderhandel om dinge te los soos wat hulle was. Ek was nooit so voldaan en vreugdevol in my hele lewe nie! En net soos wat jy die volle impak van my wat God vra “om dinge te los net soos hulle is”kan begryp—my vier kinders en ek het op voedsel seĂ«ls gelewe. Ons het in ‘n vervalle stadshuis gebly en op matrasse op die vloer geslaap. Ons het die min klere wat ons gehad het in plastiek mandjies gehou. Op dieselfde tyd het ek geen idee gehad of ons vorige besittings nog steeds bestaan het nie (soos my kinders se baba fotos, meubels, kombuis items, al ons klere, alles wat ons besit het) aangesien my man die huis leeg gemaak het terwyl ek en die kinders met vakansie by my ouers was. Voor dit het ons in ‘n Buiteklub met ‘n groot huis gebly!  

Yet there I was pleading with the Lord to "keep things the same." Once I found and experienced Him as my Husband, there was nothing I wanted more than what I had with Him. And I knew that the only way I could ever live “happily ever after” was if things would remain the same. I asked Him to allow no one (meaning my husband) to ever come between what the Lord and I had going.

Tog daar was ‘n gepleit met die Here om “dinge dieselfde te hou.” Toe ek Hom gevind en ondervind het as my Man, was daar niks wat ek meer wou gehad het as wat ek met Hom gehad het. En ek het geweet dat die enigste manier wat ek ooit “vir altyd gelukkig” kon lewe was as dinge dieselfde bly. Ek het hom gevra om niemand (bedoel my man) toe te laat om ooit tussen wat ek en die Here aan die gang het te kom nie.  

Nevertheless, once my heart came to this place of resting in Him, content in His love until it overflowed, I also could sense that He was about to return my husband home to me! I knew that this was HIS will for me. And that meant to take up that cross and follow Him. There were no signs like people normally would mean he was close to returning home. Actually it honestly "looked" like it was as if he was content where he was and would never come back. Even the day he was packing up the other woman to head back to where she came from, he was still aloof and I had no idea what was going on. But God knew and due to me being so close to Him, He basically told me in my heart that I was about be be restored. But when I knew it was about to happen, I simply didn't want it.

Nietemin, toe my hart op die plek van rus in Hom gekom het, voldaan in Sy liefde totdat dit oorvloei het,  kon ek ook voel dat Hy op die punt gestaan het om my man na my toe terug te bring! Ek het geweet dat dit SY wil vir my was. En dit het beteken dat ek daardie kruis moes opneem en Hom volg. Daar was geen teken soos mense normaalweg sou bedoel dat hy naby was om terug te kom huistoe nie. Eintlik het dit eerlik “gelyk” asof hy voldaan was waar hy was en nooit sou terugkom nie. Selfs die dag wat hy die ander vrou opgepak het om terug te gaan na waar sy vandaan gekom het, was hy nog steeds afsydig en ek het geen idee gehad wat aangaan nie. Maar God het geweet en deur ek so naby aan Hom was, het hy my basies in my hart vertel dat ek op die punt was om herstel te word. Maar toe ek weet dit staan op die punt om te gebeur, wou ek dit eenvoudig nie gehad nie.

Since I felt like this, are you wondering if I ever “really” wanted my husband back and my marriage restored?

Aangesien ek so gevoel het, wonder jy of ek ooit “regtig” my man en my huwelik herstel wou hĂȘ?

Of course!! In the beginning I was just where you may be now! I thought I would die. I actually thought I was dying because I didn’t think dying could hurt as much as what I was feeling! Now I realize it was more due to FEAR than anything. All the pain, that day, was due to fear. This is the way I felt in the beginning, but slowly, and surely the MORE I got of Him, the less I hurt. Then the more I got the more joy I began to have, the more peace I experienced, to the point that I never wanted my Restoration Journey to end—because I didn't want to lose or compromise what I had with HIM!

Natuurlik!!In die begin was ek net daar waar jy dalk nou mag wees! Ek het gedink ek gaan dood. Ek het eintlik gedink dat ek besig was om dood te gaan omdat ek gedink het dat om dood te gaan nie so seer sou maak as wat ek besig was om te voel nie! Nou besef ek dit was meer as gevolg van VREES as enige iets anders. Al die pyn, daardie dag, was as gevolg van vrees. Dit was hoe ek gevoel het in die begin, maar stadig, en sekerlik hoe MEER ek van Hom gekry het, hoe minder het ek seer gery. Toe hoe meer ek gekry het, hoe meer vreugde het ek begin ondervind, tot op die punt dat ek nie wou gehad het dat my Herstel Reis eindig nie—omdat ek nie wou verloor of kompromiseer wat ek met HOM gehad het nie!

Compared to the hundreds who come to us for help, only a few women ever come to this place of feeling like this with the Lord. And those are the very same women who submit a Restored Marriage testimonies. And I am sure from where you are right now, it may seem hard or even impossible to believe, but many women fall in love with the Lord to the point that they even choose NOT to restore their marriage.

In vergelyking met die honderde wat na ons toe kom om hulp, kom net ‘n paar vrouens ooit op hierdie plek om so met die Here te voel. En dit is dieselfde vrouens wat Herstelde Huweliks getuienisse indien. En ek is seker van waar jy nou is, mag dit dalk moeilik of selfs onmoontlik wees om te glo, maar baie vrouens raak op die Here verlief tot op die punt waar hulle selfs kies om hulle huwelike NIE te herstel nie.

Yes, that’s right. The Lord turns their husband’s heart back to them, knowing that He has secured the love He lost from His Bride. But when they write to let me know how they feel, I tell them that it’s not about what WE want or what will make US happy. “His will” is how Jesus taught us to pray, and how He prayed and how HE LIVED!

Ja, dit is reg. Die Here keer hulle mans se harte terug na hulle toe, wetende dat Hy die liefde wat Hy van sy Bruid verloor het verseker het. Maar wanneer hulle skryf om te laat weet hoe hulle voel, sĂȘ ek vir hulle dat dit nie gaan oor wat ONS wil hĂȘ nie of wat ONS gaan gelukkig maak nie. “Sy wil” is hoe Jesus ons geleer het om te bid, en hoe Hy gebid het en hoe HY GELEWE het!

“Your kingdom come. Your will be done”—Matthew 6:10

“Laat U koninkryk kom; laat u wil ook op die aarde geskied”—Matteus 6:10 

True, the Bible does say that we do have a choice. Many people may have told you that you have a choice, but unfortunately the choices they say you have, are not Biblical choices.

Waar, die Bybel sĂȘ dat ons wel ‘n keuse het. Baie mense mag jou dalk vertel het dat jy ‘n keuse het, maar ongelukkig die keuses wat hulle sĂȘ jy het, is nie Bibliese keuses nie.

They may say you have a choice to divorce your husband due to adultery. But now that you've read the Restore Your Marriage you know the truth. You read the original translation in Greek and that  those verses concerning adultery and fornication are not interchangeable. So now you know that adultery is not grounds for divorce. You cannot divorce your husband because divorce was allowed for the sake of fornication (prior to marriage) not afterwards, which is true adultery.

Hulle mag sĂȘ jy het ‘n keuse om van jou man te skei as gevolg van owerspel. Maar nou dat jy die Herstel Jou Huwelik gelees het ken jy die waarheid. Jy het die oorspronklike oorvertaling in Grieks gelees en dat daardie verse wat oor owerspel en ontug gaan nie wisselbaar is nie. So nou dat jy weet owerspel is nie grondslag vir egskeiding nie. Kan jy nie jou man skei nie omdat egskeiding toegelaat was vir die saak van ontug (voor die huwelik) nie na nie, wat ware owerspel is.

People, even pastors, may also say that you have the choice to remarry, but I am here to set the record straight—that is not allowed anywhere unless your husband dies.

Mense, selfs pastore, mag ook sĂȘ dat jy die keuse het om weer te trou, maar ek is hier om die ware feite te gee—dit word nĂȘrens toegelaat tensy jou man doodgaan nie.

“So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man”—Romans 7:3

“Maar as sy ‘n ander man se vrou word so lank as haar man lewe, sal sy as ‘n egbreekster beskou word. As haar man gesterf het, is sy egter vry van die wet en is sy nie ‘n egbreekster as sy ‘n ander man se vrou word nie”—Romeine 7:3

How do I know for sure?

Hoe weet ek verseker?

Well, with the pain and the mess I had when my husband left me and our four young children, then to add to all of this I was given very bad advice. I heard from the “experts” junk like tough love that led to so many complicated consequences because I following their foolishness! This caused me (and my children) to end up living in poverty! That's when I knew I could TRUST only ONE source. It’s at that point in my life when I began to pore over the Bible to find ALL my answers, answers that I knew wouldn’t fail me or lead me into more destruction!

 Wel,met die pyn en die gemors wat ek gehad het toe my man my en ons vier jong kinders verlaat het, dan om tot dit alles by te voeg het ek baie slegte advies gekry. Ek het van die “deskundiges” nonsens soos “tawwe liefde” gehoor wat tot so baie ingewikkelde nagevolge gelei het omdat ek hulle dwaasagtigheid gevolg het! Dit het veroorsaak dat ek (en my kinders) opgeeindig het om in armoede te lewe! Dit is toe ek geweet het dat ek net op EEN bron kon VERTROU. Dit was op daardie punt in my lewe wat ek begin het om oor die Bybel te stort om AL my antwoorde te vind, antwoorde wat ek geweet het my nie sou faal nie of in meer verwoesting lei nie!   

And believe me, IF there was an “escape clause” by gosh I would have found it!!! Because, guess what? I WAS looking for one! Like you, I wanted out of the pain and mess and shame that I was living through with my children! I certainly searched long and hard to find it. I really did. Yet all I did find, however, as I said, was if the husband dies verse in Romans 7:3.

En glo my, AS daar ‘n “ontsnap klousule” was my genade sou ek dit gevind het!!!Omdat, raai wat? Ek HET een gesoek! Soos jy, wou ek uit die skande en pyn en gemors kom waardeur ek besig was om te lewe met my kinders! Ek het sekerlik lank en hard gesoek om dit te vind. Ek het regtig. Tog al wat ek gevind het, nietemin, soos ek gesĂȘ het, was as die man doodgaan in Romeine 7:3. 

So this pushed me over the brink when I began to wish that instead of my husband showing up (when he disappeared for almost four months after I already caught him in adultery) that instead he would be found dead.

So dit het my oor die rand gestoot toe ek begin wens het dat in plaas daarvan dat my man opdaag (toe hy vir meer as vier maande verdwyn het nadat ek hom in owerspel gevang het) dat hy eerder dood gevind moet word.

Shocking, I know! But I wouldn’t be honest with you if I didn’t tell you that this is really how I felt. I thought it would be so much easier, less humiliating, and then I would have Biblical grounds to find the right husband for me— and a new father for my children. Yet even with that kind of a heart


Skokkend, ek weet! Maar ek sal nie eerlik met jou wees as ek jou nie vertel dat dit regtig was hoe ek gevoel het nie. Ek het gedink dat dit soveel makliker sou wees, minder vernederend, en dan het ek bIbliese gronde om die regte man vir my te vind—en ‘n nuwe pa vir my kinders. Tog selfs met daardie soort hart...

Guess what?

Raai wat?

While I was seeking God for a kind and loving husband AND a good father for my children; guess what? That's what I did find— I FOUND the right Husband. I did find the right Father for my children. And little did I know that He had been pursuing me, ME, for years. He knew me through and through. Everything: Every good thing I did and even the bad things—yet He loved me anyway!

Terwyl ek God nagestreef het vir ‘n goedhartige en liefdevolle man EN ‘n goeie pa vir my kinders; raai wat? Dit is wat ek gevind het—ek het die regte Man GEVIND. Ek het die regte Vader vir my kinders gevind. En min het ek geweet dat Hy my agterna gesit het, MY, vir jare. Hy het my deur en deur geken. Alles: Elke goeie ding wat ek gedoen het en selfs die slegte dinge—tog was Hy in elke geval lief vir my!   

How does it feel to be loved like that?

Hoe voel dit om so lief gewees voor?

If you’ve ever gotten a hug from someone, but felt nothing inside. When the Lord hugs you, it’s the exact opposite. It’s like you FEEL it on the inside like nothing you could have ever FELT before—nothing you could ever imagine!

As jy al ooit ‘n drukkie van iemand gekry het, maar niks binne gevoel het nie. Wanneer die Here jou ‘n drukkie gee, is dit die teenoorgestelde. Dit is asof jy dit aan die binnekant VOEL soos niks wat jy ooit voorheen kon GEVOEL het nie—niks wat jy jou ooit kan verbeel nie!  

I found LOVE. True love at last. And once I did find my one true love, I know longer needed my husband. I no longer felt I “needed” anything. I whas full to overflowing!

Ek het LIEFDE gevind. Ware liefde uiteindelik. En toe ek my enigste ware liefde gevind het, het ek nie meer my man nodig gehad nie. Ek het gevoel asof ek niks meer nodig gehad het nie. Ek was tot oorlopens vol! 

And this puts you in a very interesting place in your life. One of the most amazing things is that when you are no longer needy, you are no longer vulnerable to being hurt by others. You are no longer vulnerable to being used or abused by anyone. And the other thing is that you find that once you are no longer pursing—you become the pursued.

En dit plaas jou in ‘n baie interessante plek in jou lewe. Een van die mees ongelooflike dinge is dat wanneer jy nie meer behoeftig is nie, dan is jy nie meer kwesbaar om deur ander seergemaak te word nie, Jy is nie meer kwesbaar om deur enige iemand gebruik en misbruik te word nie. En die ander ding is dat jy vind sodra jy nie meer agternasit nie—word jy agterna gesit.  

This dear reader is WHY the Lord wants you to find Him and His love. He wants to give you everything!!!

Dit liewe leser is HOEKOM die Here wil hĂȘ dat jy Hom en Sy liefde moet vind. Hy wil jou alles gee!!!

Once my husband could see that I was not at all interested in him, he became interested in me! One day he actually confronted me, accusing me of seeing someone, saying he knew I was “in love.” How ironic because for months he told me to find someone else! The reason is that men can tell when a woman “his woman” is "in love" with someone else. She glows. And when a woman stops pursuing, she begins being pursued.

Toe my man sien dat ek glad nie meer in hom belangstel nie, het hy in my begin belangstel! Een dag het hy my eintlik konfronteer, beskuldig dat ek iemand anders sien, gesĂȘ hy weet dat ek “verlief” is. Hoe ironies omdat vir maande het hy my vertel dat hy iemand anders gevind het! Die rede is dat mans kan optel wanneer ‘n vrou “sy vrou” “verlief” is op iemand anders. Sy straal. En wanneer ‘n vrou ophou agternasit, word sy agterna gesit.

A man can also tell if a woman says she is not interested, but IS interested, and then he uses it to his advantage. He will mistreat and misuse any woman he knows is nuts about him.

‘n Man kan ook optel wanneer ‘n vrou sĂȘ sy is nie geinteresseerd nie, maar IS geinteresseerd en gebruik dit dan tot sy voordeel. Hy sal enige vrou wat mal is oor hom mishandel en misbruik .

Ah, finally, I was no longer the one waiting by the phone for his call. No longer was the I the one who rearrange my life to center around him, like when my husband came to visit. Instead, if something came up that I thought would be nice for the children and/or me, we went or I went. My life began again, instead of being “on hold” hoping, wishing and praying for my husband to call or stop by. The pain was gone and I was a peace and had a joy I never knew existed.

Ah, uiteindelik, was ek nie meer die een wat vir sy telefoon oproepe gewag het nie. Ek was nie meer die een wat my lewe herskik het om om hom te sentreer nie, soos wanneer my man kom besoek aflĂȘ het. In plaas daarvan, as iets opgeduik het wat ek gedink het lekker vir die kinders en/ of myself is, het ons gegaan of ek het gegaan. My lewe het weer begin, in plaas daarvan om “ op bystand” te wees te hoop, wens en bid vir my man om te skakel of besoek. Die pyn was weg en ek was vredevol en het ‘n vreugde gehad wat ek nooit geweet het bestaan nie.

My circumstances NEVER changed, not one bit. When we were poor, we still slept on mattresses, we still got fed with food stamps—yet we were happier than we ever were in our lives! And my grown children to this day still speak of the memories from these two years as the happiest in their lives too!

My omstandighede het NOOIT verander nie, nie eens ‘n klein bietjie nie. Toe ons arm was, het ons op matrasse geslaap, ons was nog steeds deur voedsel seĂ«ls gevoed—tog was ons gelukkiger as wat ons ooit in ons lewens was! En my volwasse kinders praat ook tot vandag toe nog van die herinneringe van daardie twee jare as die gelukkigste van hulle lewens. 

Why has my life been so different than what you just shared? 

Hoekom was my lewe so anders as wat jy nounet gedeel het?

Read the verse below and see if you can relate to the top portion. Then read the rest to see what the Lord wants for you—if you will simply return and become faithful (in your heart) to Him!

Lees die vers hier onder en sien of jy kan verband hou met die boonste deel. Lees dan die res om te sien wat die Here vir jou wil hĂȘ—as jy eenvoudig terugkeer en getrou (in jou hart) aan Hom word!

“Why has my pain been perpetual 

“Waarom is daar nie ‘n einde aan my pyn nie

And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?

Waarom is my wond ongeneeslik en wil nie gesond word nie? 

With water that is unreliable?

Ek kan nie op U reken nie, net so min as op ‘n stroom wat nie standhoudend is nie

NOW read the rest to see what the Lord has for you


Lees NOU die res om te sien wat die Here vir jou het...

 “Therefore, thus says the LORD, 

“Die Here het toe gesĂȘ:

‘If you return, then I will restore you— 

‘As jy jou woorde terugneem—

Before Me you will stand;

Sal ek jou weer in my diens neem. 

And if you extract the precious from the worthless, 

As wat jy sĂȘ, waarde sal hĂȘ en nie onsin sal wees nie,

You will become My spokesman. 

Sal jy weer namens My kan praat.

They for their part may turn to you,

Die mense moet jĂłĂș volg, 

But as for you, you must not turn to them.

Nie jy vir hulle nie.

“‘Then I will make you to this people 

Ek maak jou vir hierdie volk

A fortified wall of bronze; 

‘n Bronsmuur

And though they fight against you, 

Hulle sal teen jou veg,

They will not prevail over you;

Maar hulle sal jou nie oorweldig nie 

For I am with you to save you 

Want Ek is by jou, sĂȘ die HERE

And deliver you,’ declares the LORD”

Ek sal jou help en jou red

—Jeremiah 15:18-20

—Jeremia 15:18-20

So now you know WHY your pain has been perpetual, ongoing without relief. And why even going to the Lord seemed to be like "a deceptive stream of water" because you had NOT FULLY turned your heart back to the Lord—making Him first in your heart, mind and soul!

 So nou weet jy HOEKOM jou pyn , aanhoudend is, sonder verligting. En hoekom om selfs na die Here te gaan lyk asof dit ‘n “nie standhoudende stroom water” is omdat jy NIE TEN VOLLE jou hart terug na die Here toe gedraai het nie—Hom eerste in jou hart, gedagtes en siel gemaak het nie! 

Yet, did you see when you choose to turn back to Him completely?!?!

Tog, het jy gesien wanneer jy kies om heeltemal na Hom terug te keer?!?!

Only THEN will He restore you! And the part about "extracting what’s precious from what’s worthless" well, that part took me a while to figure out—yet it was so easy once I got it. Do you want a hint?

Net DAN sal Hy jou herstel! En die deel oor “As wat jy sĂȘ, waarde sal hĂȘ en nie onsin sal wees nie” wel, daardie deel het my ‘n rukkie geneem om uit te pluis—tog dit was maklik toe ek dit eers begryp. Wil jy ‘n leidraad hĂȘ? 

Anything apart from pursuit of Him is worthless!

Enige iets apart van die najaging van Hom is onsin!

Again the key is you NOT turning to anyone for help or comfort or any other “need” you have—including love and/or affection from your husband. And that includes turning to us, our ministry, for guidance. The Lord must be your “everything”— only then will you attain everything!! And if you really think about it, who else do you really want to trust with your future?!? What about trusting your children's future?

Weer is die sleutel dat jy NIE na enige iemand keer vir hulp of troos of enige ander “behoefte” wat jy het nie—insluitende liefde en/of aandoening van jou man. En dit sluit in om na ons te keer, ons ministerie, vir leiding. Die Here moet jou “alles”—wees alleenlik dan sal jy alles verkry!! En as jy regtig daaroor nadink, op wie anders wil jy regtig vertrou vir jou toekoms?!? Wat daarvan om vir jou kinders se toekoms te vertrou?

How Can I Control My Feelings God put in Me?

Hoe Kan Ek Die Gevoelens Wat God in My Geplaas Het Beheer?

We have had women ask: "What I don't understand is how a person can control their feelings, as God instilled the "longing for our husbands" as part of our punishment for sinning by eating the apple, this along with childbearing pain.

Ons het vrouens wat vra: Wat ek nie kan verstaan is hoe ‘n persoon hulle gevoelens kan beheer, as God die “hunkering vir ons mans” as deel van ons straf van sonde deur die appel te geeet het ingebou het, dit saam met die pyn van geboorte skenk.

How can He be offended by our longing, when He himself put it in us? I understand our earthly husbands can't be more important than Him."

Hoe kan Hy beledig wees deur ons hunkering, wanneer Hy Homself dit in ons geplaas het? Ek verstaan ons aardse mans kan nie meer belangrik as Hy wees nie.”

The key to this answer is nestled in the question.: It was one of the curses that God administered to all women after Eve sinned,  "Because you have done this, Cursed are you... I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you"—Genesis 3:14,16

Die sleutel tot die vraag is vasgevang in die vraag.:Dit was een van die vloeke wat God aan alle vroue toegedien het na Eva gesondig het, “Omdat jy dit gedoen het, is jy vervloek...ek sal jou baie swaar laat kry met jou swangerskappe” met pyn sal jy kinders in die wĂȘreld bring. Na jou man sal jy hunker, en hy sal oor jou heers”—Genesis 3:14,16  

This is the Old Testament, but PRAISE GOD when Jesus died we were FREED from the curse and set free from the Law as it says in Galatians 3:13 "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us." Women have even been set free from the pain of childbirth! I have personally  met women and read dozens of testimonies of pain-free labor and delivery!

Dit is die Ou Testament, maar PRYS GOD toe Jesus dood is was ons BEVRY van die vloek en vrygestel van die Wet soos dit sĂȘ in GalasiĂ«rs 3:13 “Christus het ons losgekoop van die vloek wat die wet meebring, deur in ons plek vervloek te word.” Vrouens is bevry van die pyn van kindergeboorte! Ek het persoonlik vrouens ontmoet en het dosyne getuienisse gelees van pynlose kraam en geboorte!

As far as a husband ruling over us, YES, we are even set free from the "law" on that as well. Instead, we are able to choose to "submit." Any longing may be something that is inborn, just as many "natural" urges are. But like the sexual urge men have (that is far stronger than those a woman experiences), a Godly man needs to give those urges over to God, and not excuse what comes naturally but instead he should live freely by the spirit.

So ver as wat ‘n man oor ons heers, JA, ons word selfs bevry van die “wet” daaroor ook. In plaas daarvan is ons in staat om te kies om ‘onderdanig” te wees. Enige hunkering mag iets wees wat ingebore is, net soos baie “natuurlike” begeertes is. Maar soos die seksuele begeertes wat mans het (wat baie sterker is as wat vrouens ervaar), ‘n Godelike man moet daardie begeertes aan God oorgee, en nie verskoon wat natuurlik is nie maar in plaas daarvan moet hy vrylik deur die gees lewe. 

"So that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit"—Romans 8:4-5.

What about Me "MOVING ON"

Wat van “AAN BEWEEG”

There are probably a LOT of people encouraging you to “move on”—even your husband may have told you to move on just like my husband kept telling me. Now believe it or not, I agree with these people and so should you!

Daar is seker BAIE mense wat jou aanmoedig om “aan te beweeg”—selfs jou man mag jou dalk vertel het om aan te beweeg net soos my man my aanhoudend vertel het. Nou glo dit of nie, ek stem saam met daardie mense en so moet jy!

Yet NOT exactly the way they mean to "move on." When they encouraging you to move on, they mean go find some new guy, which again, I have to say I agree with too!

Tog NIE presies die manier wat hulle bedoel om “aan te beweeg” nie. Wanneer hulle jou aanmoedig om aan te beweeg, bedoel hulle om ‘n nuwe man te vind, wat weer, ek moet sĂȘ ek mee saamstem!

Yet... what I do NOT agree with is their choice for you. You do NOT deserve to settle for anything but the BEST. And the Lord is the Best Husband you could ever dream of having!! 

Tog
 waarmee ek NIE saamstem nie is die keuse vir jou. Jy verdien NIE enige iets maar die BESTE. En die Here is die Beste Man wat jy ooit kon droom om te hĂȘ!!

“‘For YOUR husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts; for the Lord has called you, like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, even a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,’ says your God”—Isaiah 54:4–6

“Moenie bang wees nie, jy sal nie weer in die skande kom nie, moenie so verleĂ« daar staan nie, jy sal nie weer verneder word nie. Jy sal die skande uit jou jong dae vergeet en nie meer dink hoe jy verneder is toe jy ‘n weduwee was nie. Hy wat jou gemaak het, is jou man, sy Naam is die Here die Almagtige”—Jesaja 54:4-6  

*The Lord will ANSWER you and be there when you call, day or night.

  Die Here sal jou ANTWOORD en daar wees wanneer jy roep, dag of nag.

“From my distress I called upon the LORD; The LORD answered me and set me in a large [safe] place”—Psalm 118:5

“In my nood het ek na die Here geroep, die Here het my gebed verhoor en my bevry. Die Here is by my, ek ken geen vrees nie; wat kan ‘n mens aan my doen?—Psalm 118:5

*The Lord will COMFORT you, so you will FEEL it from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

*Die Here sal jou TROOS, so jy sal dit VOEL van die bokant van jou kop tot die punt van jou tone.  

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”—2 Corinthians 1:3-4  

“Aan God, die Vader van ons Here Jesus Christus, kom al die lof toe! Hy is die Vader wat Hom ontferm en die God wat in elke omstandigheid moed gee. In elke moeilikheid bemoedig Hy ons. Daarom kan ons ook ander bemoedig wat in allerlei moeilikhede verkeer. Ons kan hulle bemoedig met dieselfde bemoediging waarmee God ons bemoedig”—2 KorintiĂ«rs 1:3-4

*The Lord will PROVIDE for you.

*Die Here sal vir jou VOORSIEN.

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus”—Philippians 4:19

“En my God sal in elke behoefte van julle ryklik voorsien volgens sy wonderbaarlike rykdom in Christus Jesus”—Filippense 4:19

*The Lord will be a FATHER to your children. You no longer will be a “single mom” because


*Die Here sal ‘n VADER vir jou kinders wees. Jy sal nie meer ‘n ”enkel ma” wees nie omdat...  

He is “A father of the fatherless”—Psalm 68:5

‘n “Vader vir weeskinders”—Psalm 68:5

Were you forsaken? Were you grieved? Where you rejected? Then the Lord IS your Husband and wants to fulfill His role in your life. He wants to answer you, care for you, comfort you, provide for you, and protect you from everything you are living through right now! He wants to be an amazing Father to your children—far better than any mortal man every could!

Was jy versaak? Was jy gegrief? Was jy verwerp? Dan IS die Here jou Man en wil Hy Sy rol in jou lewe vervul. Hy wil jou antwoord, omgee vir jou, jou troos, vir jou voorsien, en beskerm van alles wat jy nou besig is om te ervaar! Hy wil ‘n ontsagwekkende Vader vir jou kinders wees—ver beter as enige mens ooit kan wees!  

Be AGREEABLE

Wees WELGEVALLIG

How freeing it will be to be able to LET GO and MOVE on with your life! Now that you know you are being pursued by the most Amazing MAN who ever walked the face of this earth, you can be joyful again!

Hoe vryend sal dit wees om te LAAT GAAN en aan beweeg met jou lewe! Nou dat jy weet jy word deur die mees Ontsagwekkende MAN agterna gesit word wat ooit op die aarde geloop het, kan jy weer vreugdevol wees!

Promise yourself and God that the next time your friends or family members tell you that you deserve someone better, AGREE with them!

Belowe aan jouself en God dat die volgende keer wat jou vriende en familie jou vertel dat jy iemand beter verdien, STEM saam met hulle!  

“AGREE with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison”—Matthew 5:25 NKJV 

“As iemand ‘n regsaak teen jou begin, kom betyds tot ‘n skikking solank jy nog saam hom op pad hof toe is, sodat hy jou nie voor die regter bring en die regter jou aan die polisie oorgee en diĂ© jou in die tronk sit nie”—Matteus 5:25 AFR 83

When they tell you to MOVE ON, AGREE and then begin to tell them that you have!

Wanneer hulle sĂȘ BEWEEG AAN, STEM SAAM en begin om hulle vertel dat jy het!

And if they suggest some guy, here is what I did. I simply replied, “Right now I need time for myself, time to heal, time to really find out what is best for me and my children."

En as hulle een of ander ou voorstel, dit is wat ek gedoen het. Ek het eenvoudig geantwoord, “Ek het nou tyd vir myself nodig, tyd om te genees, tyd om regtig uit te vind wat die beste vir my en my kinders is.”

Just about everyone in the world buys into the all about “me” focus and will quickly AGREE with you!!

Net omtrent almal in die wĂȘreld koop in die dit is alles oor “my” fokus en sal gou met jou SAAMSTEM!! 

CONSEQUENCES

NAGEVOLGE

And not that you want to share this with them, as a matter of fact, please DON'T because it will only make them push you more. But between us, let me be completely honest. For those of you who have been tempted to find some new guy. I want you to know the other reason you don’t need anyone new right now (not even your husband coming back) is because it will only complicate your life and make it much worse than it is now!

En nie dat jy dit met hulle wil deel nie, om die waarheid te sĂȘ, moet asseblief NIE omdat dit net sal veroorsaak dat hulle meer druk op jou sal toepas. Maar tussen ons, laat my heeltemal eerlik wees. Vir die wat in die versoeking kom om Ă©en of ander nuwe ou te vind. Wil ek hĂȘ jy moet weet die ander rede dat jy niemand nuut nou nodig het nie (nie eens jou man wat terugkom nie) is omdat dit net jou lewe sal kompliseer en dit erger as nou maak!

First, let's talk about your husband coming back too soon. If you haven't fully changed, neither will your marriage. So soon you will be right back here and things will have gotten MUCH WORSE. We see it all the time. Change takes time. Give it time and continue on your Restoration Journey. Traveling spiritually is very much how a trip around the world makes you feel or visiting other countries—you'll be different.

Eerstens, kom ons praat oor jou man wat binnekort terugkom. As jy nie heeltemal verander het nie, nog minder sal jou huwelik. So binnekort sal jy terug wees hier en dinge sou VEEL ERGER geword het. Ons sien dit die heel tyd. Verandering neem tyd. Gee dit tyd en gaan voort op jou Herstel Reis. Deur spiritueel te reis is baie hoe ‘n reis rondom die wĂȘreld jou maak voel of of ander lande te besoek—jy sal anders wees.

Now let's talk about these women who literally succumb to temptation and move on. Sadly, that’s exactly where some women find themselves: waking up next to some guy (a guy who is NOT their husband) and are wondering what they’ve done—how they got there!!

Nou kom ons praat oor hierdie vrouens wat letterlik ingee tot versoeking en aan beweeg. Droewiglik, dit is presies waar sommige vrouens hulleself vind: wakker word langs een of ander ou (‘n ou wie NIE hulle man is nie) en wonder wat hulle gedoen het—hoe hulle daar gekom het!!

Some find themselves in physically adultery and often the guilt eats them alive. They give up on ever finding happiness due to guilt. Others think that if they make their adultery “legal” by marrying the guy, it will make things better. However, the new "marriage" comes with its own set of complications, misery and pain!

Sommige vind hulleself in fisiese owerspel en dikwels eet die skuld hulle lewendig op. Hulle gee op en vind nooit geluk as gevolg van die skuld. Ander dink dat dit hulle owerspel “wettig” maak deur met die ou te trou, dit sal dinge beter maak. Nietemin, die nuwe “huwelik” kom met sy eie stel komplikasies, ellende en pyn!

Though this has not personally happened to me (yet only by the grace of God) it has happened to a few of my dearest friends. One dear friend couldn’t bear to tell me for years that she got remarried because she thought that she would lose me as a friend! Bah, humbug! A true friend loves at all times Proverbs 17:17 tells us that! However, for the record, if ever I have a friend who wants me to agree with what I know is not right, a friend is no friend at all if she is an accomplice to sin. Something she knows will injure her friend.

Alhoewel dit nie persoonlik met my gebeur het nie (tog net deur God se genade) dit het met ‘n paar van my kosbare vriendinne gebeur. Een kosbare vriendin kon dit vir jare nie vat om my te vertel dat sy weer getroud is nie omdat sy gedink het dat sy my as ‘n vriendin sou verloor! Ag, Nee tog! ‘n Ware vriendin is altyd liefhebbend Spreuke 17:17 sĂȘ dit vir ons! Nietemin, om die feite te gee, as ek ooit ‘n vriendin gehad het wat wou hĂȘ ek moet saamstem met wat ek weet nie reg is nie, ‘n vriendin is nie ‘n vriendin wat wil hĂȘ ek moet saamstem met wat ek weet nie reg is nie, ‘n vriendin is glad nie ‘n vriendin as sy ‘n medepligtige vir die sonde is nie. Iets wat sy weet haar vriendin sal beseer.     

Yet once the truth came out about this dear friend's remarriage, and I was able to fully convince her of my love for her, that's when she began to open up and let me know what a horrible mess she had made. She, and my other friend, told me basically the very same thing, said they were married to kind men (though I also have heard horror stories that you will read later in these lessons). The problem was they each knew they really could never love these new husbands they married. At the same time they felt unfaithful to their previous husbands, and because these new husbands were kind, they couldn’t bear to even suggest that they wanted out of the marriage!

Tog toe die waarheid uitgekom het oor hierdie kosbare vriendin, se hertrou, was ek ten volle in staat om haar te oortuig van my liefde vir haar, dit was toe wat sy begin het om oop te maak en vir my te vertel  watter aaklige gemors sy gemaak het. Sy, en my ander vriendin, het my basies dieselfde ding vertel, gesĂȘ hulle was getroud met goedhartige mans (alhoewel ek ook gruwel stories gehoor het wat jy later in hierdie lesse sal lees). Die probleem was dat elkeen geweet het dat hulle nooit regtig lief vir hierdie nuwe mans met wie hulle getroud was kon wees nie. Op dieselfde tyd het hulle gevoel asof hulle ontrou was aan hulle vorige mans, en omdat hierdie nuwe mans goedhartig was, kon hulle nie eens daaraan dink of selfs voorstel dat hulle nie meer getroud wou wees nie!  

One told me that on her honeymoon she heard that her ex-husband had broken up with the OW and had been looking for her!!! At the exact same time she became involved in the relationship with her new husband, the enemy knew it and brought someone into her life in order to make sure he could steal what he saw was up ahead—restoration!

Een het my vertel dat op haar wittebrood het sy gehoor dat haar eks-man met die AV opgebreek het en dat hy vir haar gesoek het!!!Op die presiese tyd het sy by die nuwe verhouding betrokke geraak met haar nuwe man, die vyand het dit geweet en iemand in haar lewe gebring om in staat te wees dat hy kon steel wat voorlĂȘ—herstel!

Also, may I say that for many of you whose husbands have either remarried or are deeply involved with other women, that your husbands are probably feeling the same way? I heard this first hand from my own husband when he returned home, and so have most of the other women who have experienced a restored marriage—their husbands told them the same thing. That even while appearing happy, they were secretly longing to come back home. But before you begin longing for that husband again and will end up with nothing, let’s get


Ook, mag ek sĂȘ dat vir baie van julle wie se mans of weer getroud is of diep by ander vrouens betrokke is, dat julle mans moontlik dieselfde voel? Ek het dit eerstehands van my eie man gehoor toe hy teruggekeer het huistoe, en so het meeste van die ander vrouens wat ‘n herstelde huwelik ervaar het—hulle mans het hulle dieselfde ding vertel. Dat selfs wanneer dit voorkom asof hulle gelukkig is, hulle in die geheim verlang het om terug te kom huistoe. Maar voor jy begin na jou man hunker en opeindig met niks, kom ons...  

Back to YOUR ADULTERY

Terug na JOU OWERSPEL

Dear friend. From this moment on I want you to understand something. Each time you long for your husband, because you are one-flesh, your husband is longing for the OW (other woman) even more.

Liewe vriendin. Van hierdie oomblik af wil ek hĂȘ jy moet iets verstaan. Elke keer wat jy hunker na jou man, omdat julle een-vlees is, hunker jou man meer na die AV. 

Each time you think of your husband instead of the Lord, your husband is thinking of the OW.

Elke keer wat jy aan jou man dink in plaas van die Here, dink jou man aan die AV.

Each time you want to call your husband, your husband is picking up his cell phone to call or text her—the OW. However, when you long for the LORD your husband will begin to LONG for you!

Elke keer wat jy jou man wil skakel, tel jou man sy selfoon op om haar—die AV te skakel of ‘n boodskap te stuur. Nietemin, wanneer jy na die Here hunker sal jou man begin om na jou te HUNKER! 

If you continue in emotional and spiritual adultery, with your husband as your first love, your husband’s first love will not be you—but the OW.

As jy voortgaan in emosionele en spirituele owerspel, met jou man as jou eerste liefde, is jou man se eerste liefde nie jy nie—maar die AV. 

How can you change that?

Hoe kan jy dit verander?

How can you possibly let go of someone you care so much for; someone you want so much?

Hoe kan jy moontlik van iemand laat gaan vir wie jy soveel omgee; vir iemand wie jy so baie wil hĂȘ?  

Well, if your husband came to you and asked YOU the very same thing about the woman he was involved with, what would you say?

Wel, as jou man na jou toe kom en JOU dieselfde ding vertel oor die vrou by wie hy betrokke is, wat sou jy sĂȘ? 

What solution would you give him?

Watter oplossing sal jy hom gee?

Whatever it is might just be the place where you should start.

Wat ookal dit is dit mag dalk die plek wees waar jy moet begin.

“...en julle sal die waarheid ken, en die waarheid sal julle vry maak.” —Joh 8:32 

Nou is dit tyd om HIER TE KLIK en jou hart aan die Here uit te stort en te joernaal “Wat ek Geleer Het.”  

Laat 'n boodskap

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