Day 15

Dag 15

The Freedom of Letting Go…

Die Vryheid Om Te Laat Gaan...

but first a Restored Marriage Testimony

maar eers ‘n Herstelde Huweliks Getuienis

 Once Unfaithful Now Has a New Heart!

Eens op ‘n slag Ontrou Nou ‘n Nuwe Hart 

This testimony began after a young woman and her husband had only been married a short time. They were both excited that she had become pregnant right away. Unfortunately, it resulted in a tragic miscarriage. Shortly after, she found she was expecting again; however, she only carried this baby two short months, then miscarried again.

Hierdie getuienis het begin na ‘n jong vrou en haar man net vir ‘n kort rukkie getroud was. Hulle was albei opgewonde dat sy onmiddelik swanger geraak het. Ongelukkig, het dit in ‘n tragiese miskraam opgeeindig. Kort daarna, het sy uitgevind dat sy weer verwag; alhoewel, sy hierdie baba net twee kort maande gedra het, en toe weer ‘n miskraam gehad het.  

She and her husband were living abroad since her husband was in the military. She said that it seemed to help them both so much during this time, to have a couple that she and her husband had become close to.

Sy en haar man het oorsee gebly aangesien haar man in die militêr was. Sy het gesê dat dit gelyk het asof dit hulle soveel gehelp het gedurende hierdie tyd, om ‘n paartjie te hê met wie hulle baie intiem geraak het. 

Only a few months later, she was again expecting. This time both were very hopeful since she was entering her second trimester.

Net ‘n paar maande later, het sy weer verwag. Hierdie keer was albei hoopvol aangesien sy in haar tweede trimester was. 

Then, one night she fell asleep on the couch while their friends were visiting late. When she woke up, she became paralyzed with shock—there across the room was her husband and the other woman kissing!! The other husband had apparently gone home. Panic struck, and not knowing what to do, she decided to move around to alert the adulterous couple that she was waking up. Startled, they jumped apart pretending that nothing had happened.

Toe, een aand het sy op die bank aan die slaap geraak terwyl haar vriende laat gekuier het. Toe sy wakker word, het sy geparaliseer geword met skok—daar aan die oorkant van die kamer was haar man en die ander vrou besig om te soen!! Die ander man het waanskynlik huistoe gegaan. Paniek bevange, en nie weet wat om te doen nie, het sy besluit om rond te beweeg om die owerspelige paartjie bewus te maak dat sy besig was om wakker te word. Verras, het hulle uitmekaar gespring en gemaak asof niks gebeur het nie.

That day, after her husband left for the base, she contacted her in-laws who were Christians and they began to pray. Suddenly her husband was transferred back to their hometown for more training at a local military base. God had intervened! She thought the whole nightmare was over, until she noticed an email from the other woman addressed to her husband. She was shocked when she read the love letter that included a plan for them to “run away together after the baby is born”!

Daardie dag, nadat haar man weg is na die basis toe, het sy haar skoonouers wat Christene was gekontak en hulle het begin bid. Skielik was haar man terug na hulle tuisdorp oorgeplaas vir nog opleiding by ‘n plaaslike militêre basis. God het tussenbeide getree! Sy het gedink dat die hele nagmerrie verby was, totdat sy ‘n epos van die ander vrou geadresseer aan haar man opgemerk het. Sy was geskok toe sy die liefdes brief lees wat ‘n plan vir hulle om “saam weg te hardloop nadat die baba gebore is” ingesluit het!  

Again she called her in-laws for help. This time they called Restore Ministries. Within two days, she and her in-laws had How God Will Restore Your Marriage and the women’s workbook in hand. Both she and her in-laws read and reread the books.

Weer het sy haar skoonouers om hulp geskakel. Hierdie keer het hulle Herstel Ministeries geskakel. Binne twee dae, het sy en haar skoonouers die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel boeke en die vrouens se werkboek in hulle hande gehad. Beide sy en haar skoonouers het die boek oor en oor gelees.

However, against the principles in the book, her father-in-law insisted on confronting his son about his behavior, but it only encouraged him to then outwardly pursue the woman he felt he was “in love” with. Again, they contacted Restore Ministries. We told them that with his blatant statement, it was clear that they would need a miracle.

Nietemin, teen die beginsels in die boek, het haar skoonpa aangedring om sy seun te konfronteer oor sy gedrag, maar dit het hom net aangemoedig om uiterlik die ander vrou na te sit op wie hy gevoel het hy “verlief” was. Weer, het hulle Herstel Ministeries gekontak. Ons het hom vertel dat met sy blatante verklaring, dit duidelik was dat hulle ‘n wonderwerk sou nodig hê. 

The miracle came after much prayer. Her husband agreed to go to church with his parents. That night, he repented at the altar of his sin of adultery and stood up with a new heart.

Die wonderwerk het na baie gebid gekom. Haar man het ingestem om saam sy ouers kerk toe te gaan. Daardie aand, het hy by die altaar van sy sonde van owerspel tot inkering gekom en opgestaan met ‘n nuwe hart.

Update: This woman and her husband have three little ones now! They had a temporary setback about a year after their miracle when the other woman resurfaced. The young wife confessed that she was the one who had “backslidden” and stopped following the principles in the book and workbook. The OW surfacing sent this young woman back to her book and workbook again with renewed vigor! She said for the rest of her life she committed to staying in the book at all times, which has caused her to walk the principles out daily to protect her marriage. To God be all the glory!

Opdateer: Die vrou en haar man het nou drie klein kindertjies! Hulle het ‘n tydelike terugslag omtrent ‘n jaar na die wonderwerk gehad toe die ander vrou weer te voorskyn gekom het. Die jong ma het gebieg dat sy die een was wat afvallig geraak het en opgehou het om die prinsiepe in die boek en werkboek te volg. Met die AV wat te voorskyn gekom het het dit die jong ma met ywer teruggestuur na haar boek en werkboek! Sy het gesê dat sy vir die res van haar lewe ten alle tye verplig in die boek sal bly, wat veroorsaak het dat sy elke dag die prinsiepe sou toepas om haar huwelik te beskerm. Aan God al die glorie! 

~Paige in Florida, RESTORED

~Paige in Florida, HERSTEL

Experience the

Ervaar die

Freedom of "Letting Go"

Vryheid om “Te Laat Gaan”

Our Team agrees there is no more IMPORTANT lesson than this determines RESTORATION or waiting forever for it.

Ons Span stem saam daar is niks meer BELANGRIKER les as hierdie een nie en dit bepaal HERSTEL of dat jy vir ewig daarvoor sal wag.

Here is what Hilary, our Minister in Training from South Africa shares about what she learned about "Letting Go."

Hier is wat Hilary, ons Minister In Opleiding van Suid Afrika deel oor wat sy geleer het oor om te “Laat Gaan.”

I can honestly say that when I experienced the truth about letting go it was one of the most awesome revelations that I have ever experienced from God. Would you believe that I even went as far as to test the principle? It wasn't that I was testing God, more to the fact that I wanted to make sure of what He was telling me and to wrap my heart around it, so that I could explain it better to others as a minister. I am a RMIOU Minister in Training, and hope to be a minister some day and help others experience a restored marriage as I have.

Ek kan eerlik sê dat toe ek die waarheid om te laat gaan ervaar het was dit een van die ongelooflike openbarings wat ek al ooit van God ervaar het. Sou jy glo dat ek tot sover gegaan het om die prinsiep te toets? Dit was nie dat ek God getoets het nie, maar die feit dat ek wou seker maak van wat Hy besig was om my te vertel en om my hart daarin toe te vou, sodat ek dit beter aan ander kon verduidelik as ‘n minister. Ek is ‘n RMIOU Minister en hoop om een dag ‘n minister te word en ander te help om ‘n herstelde huwelik te ervaar soos wat ek het.

I first thought that letting go was not contacting my ex-husband, not asking him for anything, not complaining about the children, etc. I made sure, in fact, that I did none of those things and took all my problems to the Lord. I did not ask my ex-husband for anything. But of course, I still missed my ex-husband. I actually thought about him all day long and longed for him. I wanted just to phone him or have some sort of kindly contact.

In die begin het ek gedink om te laat gaan was om nie my eks-man te kontak, hom nie vir enige iets te vra nie, nie te kla oor die kinders nie, ens. Inteendeel, ek het seker gemaak dat ek niks van daardie dinge gedoen het en het al my probleme na die Here toe geneem. Ek het nie my eks-man vir enige iets gevra nie. Maar natuurlik, het ek nog steeds my eks-man gemis. Ek het eintlik die heel dag aan hom gedink en na hom gehunker. Ek wou hom net skakel of een of ander vriendelike kontak hê.   

It was during one of these days dreaming sessions that the Lord got my attention. He showed me in a kind, loving way that letting go is not a matter of NOT DOING anything but that it is definitely a matter of the heart. Thinking and dreaming of my ex-husband meant that my ex-husband was taking God's place in my life. Whether he was part of my life, living apart from me or not, whether he knew it or not— I had made my ex-husband the king of my heart, a spot which should solely be for My Lord.

Dit was gedurende een van daardie droom sessies wat die Here my aandag gekry het. Hy het vir my in ‘n vriendelike, liefdevolle manier gewys dat om te laat gaan is nie ‘n saak van NIE enige iets DOEN nie maar dat dit definitief ‘n saak van die hart is. Deur te dink en droom van my eks-man beteken dat my eks-man God se plek in my hart geneem het, of hy dit nou geweet het of nie—ek het my eks-man die koning van my hart gemaak, ‘n plek wat uitsluitlik vir My Here moet wees.  

When I realised this, each time I thought of my ex-husband I would apologize to the Lord, ask Him to forgive me and start thanking Him for being there for me, for loving me, for being the Lord of my life. In the beginning, it was difficult, because I had to really take hold of each thought and bring it under submission and then repent of making my ex-husband king again. I went before the Lord many times, but after a few weeks, it began to get easier.

Toe ek dit besef het, het ek elke keer wat ek aan my eks-man gedink het vir die Here om verskoning gevra, en Hom gevra om my te vergewe en Hom te bedank dat Hy daar was vir my, dat hy my liefhet, en dat Hy die Here van my lewe is. In die begin, was dit moeilik, omdat ek regtig elke gedagte moes vasvat en dit onder onderwerping bring en dan tot inkeer kom dat ek weer my eks-man koning gemaak het. Ek het baie kere voor die Here gegaan, maar na ‘n paar weke het dit makliker geword. 

I was having a particular battle with letting go one day, when I got a breakthrough and the love I felt for the Lord just enfolded me—it was such an awesome experience! Not long after I received a phone call from my ex-husband... would you believe he said he was longing for ME? He said he called because he just wanted me to know.

Ek het een dag ‘n besonderse stryd gehad om te laat gaan, toe ek ‘n deurbraak kry en die liefde van die Here my net omvou het—dit was so ‘n ongelooflike ervaring! Nie lank daarna nie het ek ‘n telefoon oproep van my eks-man ontvang… kan jy glo dat hy na MY gehunker het? Hy het gesê dat hy geskakel het omdat hy my net wou laat weet. 

Hmmmmmm... so of course - being me, I was confounded by the fact that just as soon as I had my full focus on the Lord, not on anything I wanted Him to do for me, like work on my husband's heart, etc. the Lord turned my ex-husband's heart and put it in his mind to call me.

Hmmmmmm… so natuurlik - omdat ek ek is, was ek dronkgeslaan deur die feit dat so spoedig as wat ek my volle fokus op die Here gehad het, en nie op enige iets wat ek wou gehad het Hy vir my moes doen nie, soos werk aan my man se hart, ens die Here het my eks-man se hart omgekeer en dit in sy gedagtes geplaas om my te skakel. 

It was then that the Lord gave me the following Bible verse in Jeremiah 15:19-21 "Therefore, thus says the LORD, 'If you return, then I will restore you. Before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, You will become My spokesperson. They for their part may turn to you, But as for you, you must NOT turn to them. Then I will make you to this people fortified wall of bronze; and though they fight against you, they will not prevail over you; for I am with you to save you and deliver you', declares the LORD." 

Dit was toe dat die Here my die volgende Bybel verse in Jeremia 15:19-21 gegee het “Die Here het toe gesê: As jy jou woorde terugneem, sal Ek jou weer in my diens neem. As wat jy sê, waarde sal hê en nie onsin sal wees nie, sal jy weer namens My kan praat. Die mense moet jóú volg, nie jy vir hulle nie. Ek maak jou vir hierdie volk ‘n bronsmuur waardeur hulle nie kan dring nie; hulle sal teen jou veg, maar hulle sal jou nie oorweldig nie, want Ek is by jou, sê die Here, Ek sal jou help en jou red. Ek sal jou red uit die mag van slegte mense, jou bevry van dié wat op geweld uit is.”

I noticed specifically the part which says "... They for their part may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them." I had no idea what this could possibly mean, so I asked the Lord to show me. It was then that He gave a revelation ~ Not contacting my ex-husband did not mean I had let go because in my heart he was still very much in a place which was God's given place.

Ek het spesifiek die deel wat sê “ … Die mense moet jóú volg nie jy vir hulle nie opgemerk.” Ek het geen idee gehad wat dit moontlik kon beteken nie, so toe vra ek die Here om my te wys. Dit was toe dat Hy vir my ‘n openbaring gegee het ~ Deur nie my eks-man te kontak nie beteken ek het laat gaan nie omdat in my hart was hy nog steeds in ‘n plek wat God se gegewe plek was. 

I had to remove my heart entirely from my husband. In other words, I was not to pray for him for peace, for protection, for joy and happiness or that his day would be a smooth path—I was only to pray that "God's Will be done in his life." In fact, the Lord encouraged me to pray for my ex-husband in tongues, that some call "praying in the Spirit," so that I would pray totally as God directed me.

Ek moes my hart heeltemal van my man verwyder. In ander woorde, ek moes nie vir hom bid vir vrede, vir beskerming, vir vreugde en geluk of dat sy dag ‘n gladde paaidjie sou wees nie—ek moes net bid dat “God se Wil geskied in sy lewe.” Om die waarheid te sê, die Here het my aangemoedig om vir my eks-man in tale te bid, wat sommige mense noem “bid in die Gees,“ sodat ek sou totaal bid soos wat God my gelei het.

At first, I thought it was rather harsh because we all want to carry/cover our loved-ones in prayer, especially for protection and to help make life easier for them. It wasn't until I realised how really powerful letting go completely is, that I could TRUST God and actually be happy with not contacting, not praying, not turning towards my husband for anything, but instead placing God in the exact spot that I finally allowed my ex-husband to be in.

In die begin het ek gedink dit was ietwat ongevoelig omdat ons almal ons geliefdes in gebed wil dra/bedek, spesiaal vir beskerming en om die lewe makliker vir hulle te maak . Dit was nie totdat ek besef het hoe kragtig om totaal te laat gaan regtig is, dat ek op God kon VERTROU en eintlik gelukkig kon wees deur hom nie te kontak, nie te bid, nie na my man te keer vir enige iets nie, maar in plaas daarvan om finaal God in die presiese posisie te plaas wat ek toegelaat het vir my man om in te wees.  

Like you, I had read How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and had made a point of praying specific verses for my husband every day. I had been under the belief that I should be praying for him, and I am sure that had I heard this revelation in the beginning of my Restoration Journey, I might have scorned it, but because Restoration is a Journey, I was at the point where the Lord was showing me a much more powerful method of following Him. The method, of course, is simply to pray "Thy Will be done" and to leave the outcome to HIM. Once I got the message, it all began to turn around and very quickly too. My ex-husband started to pursue me with zeal. I could see how God was working in his life and how he had started seeing God in his own life.

Soos jy, het ek die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel boek gelees en het ek ‘n punt daarvan gemaak om elke dag spesifieke verse vir my man te bid. Ek het geglo dat ek vir hom moes bid, en ek is seker dat ek hierdie openbaring in die begin van my Herstel Reis gehoor het, ek het dit dalk versmaai, maar omdat Herstel ‘n Reis is, was ek op die punt waar die Here my ‘n baie meer kragtige metode om Hom te volg gewys het. Die metode, natuurlik, is om eenvoudig te bid “ U Wil Geskied” en om die uitkoms aan HOM oor te laat. Toe ek die boodskap verstaan het, het dit alles begin omdraai en baie gou ook. My eks-man het my met ywer agterna gesit. Ek kon sien hoe God in sy lewe werk en hoe hy begin het om God in sy eie lewe te sien.

Because I needed to grow and keep moving forward as the Lord led me, the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book helped in the beginning of my journey to build and strengthen me (by praying those prayers which you will find) and to get me to the place where I was strong enough to let go. Then I was able to move from having to pray to steady me, to being able to move completely to the point of TRUSTING and praying "Thy will be Done!"

Omdat dit nodig was dat ek groei en aanhou vorentoe beweeg soos wat die Here my gelei het, die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel boek het my in die begin van my reis gehelp om my op te bou en te versterk  (deur die gebede te bid wat jy sal vind) en om my op die plek te kry waar ek sterk genoeg was om te laat gaan. Toe was ek in staat om te beweeg van om te bid om my te stut, tot om in staat te wees om heeltemal op die punt te kom om te VERTROU en te bid “U wil Geskied!”

Whenever I had God in His rightful place, I would have to run to stay ahead of my ex-husband (I am putting it like this so that you can visualise what I am trying to say...) but any day that I put my ex-husband first and did not let go, I would slow to a crawl and still not find my ex-husband anywhere near me. 

Wanneer ek God in Sy regmatige plek gehad het, moes ek hardloop om voor my eks-man te bly (ek sit dit so sodat jy kan visualiseer wat ek probeer om te sê…) maar enige dag wat ek my eks-man eerste geplaas het en nie laat gaan het nie, het ek stadig beweeg en kon nog steeds nie my eks-man enigsins naby my kry nie.

It was then that the power of letting go really became real to me. When pursuing God, not for His Hand, but just for His love and awesomeness, everything came together over and beyond anything that I could ever imagine. In fact, I have started the letting go principle in other areas in my life and guess what? Uh-huh... The same thing happens!

Dit was toe dat die krag van laat gaan regtig vir my begin waar word het. Wanneer jy God begin nastreef, nie vir Sy Hand, maar net vir Sy liefde en ongelooflikheid het alles bymekaar gekom en verder as alles wat ek my ooit kon verbeel. Om die waarheid te sê, ek het die laat gaan prinsiep in ander gebiede van my lewe toegepas en raai wat? Uh-huh… Dieselfde ding gebeur!

I will definitely continue to apply this principle of letting go in many different areas  of my life. In other relationships within my family and beyond. In the areas of my finances, my work, my dreams, my children... I have seen that when I let go and give it ALL to God, then things begin to happen. When I don't try to make things happen or pray for them to happen as I want them to and just pray that God's Will be done, then I see answered prayer. But not just any answered prayer, answered prayer that was answered in a way beyond anything that I could have imagined. I first had to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus though, before any result was seen.

Ek sal definitief voort gaan om hierdie prinsiep van laat gaan op baie gebiede van my lewe toe te pas. In ander verhoudings binne my familie en verby.  Op die gebiede van my finansies, my werk, my drome, my kinders...Ek het gesien dat wanneer ek laat gaan en ALLES vir God gee dan begin dinge gebeur. Wanneer ek nie probeer om te maak dat dinge gebeur nie of bid vir hulle om te gebeur soos ek wil hê dit moet en net te bid dat God se wil geskied, dan sien ek antwoord op gebed. Maar nie net enige beantwoorde gebed nie, maar gebed  wat beantwoord is op ‘n manier verby enige iets wat ek my kan voorstel. Ek moes dit eers by die voete van Jesus lê, voor enige resultaat gesien was.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"—1 John 1:9

“Maar as ons ons sondes bely - Hy is getrou en regverdig. Hy vergewe ons ons sondes en reinig ons van alle onregtigheid”—1 Johannes 1:9

I confess that I still need to let go of certain things in my life, things that I haven't given completely to My Lord. Sometimes it is difficult to not worry or fret about something, especially in the line of finances. I don't let go and let God. This definitely limits His ability to move on my behalf.

Ek bely dat ek nog steeds moet laat gaan van sekere dinge in my lewe dinge wat ek nie heeltemal aan My Here gegee het nie. Somtyds is dit moeilik om my nie te bekommer of te knies oor iets nie, spesiaal in die lyn van finansies. Ek laat nie gaan en laat God nie. Dit beperk Sy vermoë om om my onthalwe te beweeg. 

Now for my "Letter to the Lord." (Feel free to pray this with me.)

Nou vir my “Brief aan God.” (Voel vry om dit saam my te bid.)

My darling Jesus. Thank you so much for wanting to free me from all my burdens. You long for me to let go and to let you deal with everything in my life and sometimes I can do that but at other times, I tend to think I can do a better job than You. I am sorry for not trusting You enough. I am willing to lay everything before You, at Your feet, but I really need Your help as I can't do it on my own. I love You Jesus and I thank you for all the many blessings You have in store for me each and every day. Amen.

My liefling Jesus. Baie dankie dat U my van al my laste wil bevry. U verlang dat ek laat gaan en U toelaat om met alles in my lewe af te reken en somtyds kan ek dit doen maar ander tye, neig ek om te dink ek kan beter doen as U. Ek is jammer dat ek nie op U genoeg vertrou nie. Ek is gewillig om alles voor U te lê by U voete, maar ek het regtig U hulp nodig omdat ek dit nie op my eie kan doen nie. Ek is lief vir U Jesus en dankie vir al die baie seëninge wat U ieder en elke dag vir my in stoor het. Amen. 

 Different Stages of "Letting Go"

Verskillende Stadiums van “Laat Gaan”

What the Lord showed us is that at every step of marriage crisis you must "let go" to prevent your marriage crisis from going to the next stage of destruction. Read below to see where you are:

Wat die Here ons gewys het is dat op elke stap van ‘n huweliks krisis moet jy “laat gaan” om voor te kom dat jou huweliks krisis na die volgende stadium van verwoesting gaan. Lees hier onder waar jy is: 

A wife whose husband is in the home, but is not coming home on time, must "let go" of trying to police him through curfews, "20 questions" or the "silent treatment."

‘n Vrou wie se man in die huis is, maar nie op tyd huistoe kom nie, moet “laat gaan” van probeer om polisie te speel met klokreëls, “20 vrae” of “stilstuipe.”

A wife who finds out that her husband is involved with another woman must "let go" by not following him or confronting him but using this time as a "wake up call" or she will push him into leaving or divorcing her.

‘n Vrou wat uitvind dat haar man by ‘n ander vrou betrokke is moet “laat gaan” deur hom nie te volg of te konfrontreer nie maar eerder die tyd gebruik as ‘n “wakker word oproep” of sy sal hom in die rigting stuur waar hy haar sal los of skei.

A wife whose husband leaves her (or asks her to leave) and she continues to hold on rather than "letting go" will find that her husband will push and pursue a divorce—hoping that this will stop his wife's pursuits.

‘n Vrou wie se man loop (of haar vra om te loop) en sy hou aan om vas te hou eerder as om “te laat gaan” sal vind dat haar man sal druk en agterna sit vir ‘n egskeiding—in die hoop dat dit sy vrou se agterna sit sal eindig.

A wife whose husband has divorced her, who continues to pursue, will soon marry the other woman.

‘n Vrou wie se man haar geskei het, wat voortgaan om agterna te sit, sal spoedig met die ander vrou trou.

An ex-wife who is clearly still interested in her ex-husband, rather than finally "letting go" will often see her former husband in a strong second marriage AND commonly find him wanting custody of their minor children!

‘n Eks-vrou wat nog duidelik in haar eks-man belangstel, eerder as om finaal ‘te laat gaan” sal dikwels haar vorige man in ‘n sterk tweede huwelik sien EN in die algemeen kry dat hy toesig van hulle minderjarige kinders wil hê! 

HOW Can I LET GO?

HOE Kan Ek LAAT GAAN?

"Please help!! I've tried letting go but I seem to want my husband even more!"

“Help asseblief!! Ek het probeer om te laat gaan maar dit lyk asof ek my man net meer wil hê!”

When we TRY to let go, the opposite happens—it actually makes us LONG for that person or thing even more!

Wanneer ons PROBEER om te laat gaan, gebeur die teenoorgestelde—dit maak dat ons eintlik nog meer na daardie persoon of ding VERLANG! 

The way God explained it to me is that when we are trying to diet, all we can think about is FOOD. That's because when something is removed, rather than being replaced, then the craving gets stronger.

Die manier wat God dit aan my verduidelik het is dat wanneer ons probeer om te dieet, al waaraan ons kan dink is KOS. Dit is omdat wanneer iets verwyder word, eerder as vervang, dan raak die drang sterker.

What you need to do is simply INCREASE your time and longing for the Lord, then you will quite naturally let go slowly but surely!

Wat jy nodig het om te doen is om eenvoudig jou tyd en verlange na die Here te VERMEERDER, dan sal jy op ‘n natuurlike wyse stadig maar sekerlik laat gaan! 

The most powerful experience I had in falling IN LOVE with the Lord happened long after my marriage was restored. You may laugh but it was due to a song that I listened to that began this Restoration Journey—restoring the PASSION I had for the Lord when my husband was gone in 1989 that I realized I didn't have as strong. The song basically asked where was that person, me, who used to believe strong enough to walk on water and stand before Goliaths. I wanted that, and in the course understood it meant I needed more of the Lord in my life.

Die mees kragtigste ondervinding wat ek gehad het was om op die Here VERLIEF TE RAAK lank na my huwelik herstel was. Jy mag dalk lag maar dit was as gevolg van ‘n liedjie waarna ek geluister het wat hierdie Herstel Reis begin het—deur die PASSIE wat ek vir die Here gehad het toe my man weg was in 1989 wat ek besef het nie so sterk was nie. Die liedjie het basie gevra waar die persoon was, ek, wie sterk genoeg geglo het om op water te kan loop en voor Goliate te staan. Ek wou dit gehad het, en in die kursus het ek verstaan dat dit beteken het dat ek meer van die Here in my lewe nodig het. 

The way I did this was to ASK Him HOW I could gain this. The first time I had this passion was deep in adversity but was there a way to jumpstart it without adversity, which could easily mean it would last long after an adversity was gone (and they always DO go, it only feels it will never go).

Die manier wat ek dit gdoen het was om Hom te VRA Hoe ek dit kon win. Die eerste keer wat ek hierdie passie gehd het was toe ek diep in teenspoed was maar daar was ‘n manier om dit te weer te laat opvlam sonder om deur teenspoed te gaan, wat maklik kon beteken dat dit lank sal hou selfs na die teenspoed weg is (en DIT gaan altyd, dit voel net asof dit nooit sal nie).

The Lord used a preacher who came to our church and told the same story I had heard at least 3 times and I was frustrated, not wanting to hear it "again." But this time something clicked, and I realized in this story laid my answer. I began saying several times a day, "Lord, You're ALL I need, You're ALL I want, You're ALL I live for."

Die Here het ‘n priester wat na ons kerk toe gekom het en dieselfde storie watek al 3 keer gehoor het kom vertel ek was frustreerd, want ek wou dit nie “weer” hoor nie.” Maar hierdie keer het iets sin gemaak en ek het in hierdie storie besef dat dit is waar my antwoord gelê het. Ek het verskeie kere per dag begin sê, “Here, U is AL wat ek nodig het, U is AL wat ek wil hê, U is AL vir wie ek leef.” 

Trust me, I did not FEEL those words at all, but then something happened! All of a sudden I began to FEEL what I was saying. I began to feel that He was ALL I needed or wanted and who I wanted to live for!

Vertrou my, ek het glad nie daar woorde GEVOEL nie, maar toe gebeur iets! Ewe skielik het ek begin VOEL wat ek sê. Ek het begin voel dat Hy al was wat ek nodige gehad het of wou gehad het en vir wie ek wou lewe! 

I found I was "in love" with the Lord like never before! It was like when your first boyfriend shows up in your life, but a thousand times more wonderful!!! The Lord, whether we realize it or not, was and will always be our FIRST Love, with all those feelings, even if we "thought" we were in love before. When we experience Him, by saying this over and over and over again, you will never be able to explain to anyone (except women like us who have experienced the same thing) how it feels!!

Ek het gevind dat ek “verlief’ was op die Here soos nooit vantevore nie! Dit is soos wanneer jou eerste kêrel in jou lewe opdaag, maar ‘n duisend keer meer wonderlik!!! Die Here, of ons dit nou besef of nie, was en sal altyd ons EERSTE Liefde wees, met al daardie gevoelens, selfs as ons “gedink” het dat ons vantevore verlief was. Wanneer ons hom ondervind, deur dit oor en oor en oor te sê, sal jy nooit weer aan enige iemand kan verduidelik (behalwe vrouens soos ons wat dieselfde ding eervaar het) hoe dit voel!!

"Lord, You're ALL I need

“Here, U is AL wat ek nodig het 

You're ALL I want,

U is AL wat ek wil hê,

You're ALL I live for."

U is AL waarvoor ek lewe.”

More Testimonies for help with "Letting Go": "Christmas Love Songs" written by ~ Michele in California

Nog getuienisse om te help om “Te laat Gaan”  "Christmas Love Songs"

geskryf deur Michelle in Kalifornia

“EH & OW Unhappy”

“AM & AV Ongelukkig”

Jesus is the sweetest “thing” in this world. He is the only Lover who can satisfy us and He is the only Healer who can really heal the deepest wounds we don’t even know exist. Yesterday when i was falling asleep He reminded me another area He show Himself so strong and i still did not write about.

Jesus is die soethartigste “ding” in hierdie wêreld. Hy is die enigste Beminde wat ons kan bevredig en Hy is die enigeste Geneesheer wat regtig die diepste wonde kan genees wonde wat ons nie eens weet bestaan nie. Gister toe ek besig was om aan die slaap te raak het Hy my herinner aan ‘n ander area waar Hy Homself so sterk gewys het en waaroor ek nog steeds nie geskryf het nie.

When i was in USA, I found out that my EH and OW went for luxury vacation to another country for 10 days. These 10 DAYS was a problem for me. Such a long time and only them. It was not really jealousy, because I do not really desire something similar in term of place nor company, but it was more about the time spent with their daughter what my son never got. And as i reminder of this vacation i had a magnetic souvenir of this place on the fridge, so anytime i went to take something from the fridge i saw the holiday. And my EH did not even try to hide it.

Toe ek in die VSA was, het ek uitgevind dat my AM en die AV vir ‘n luukse vakansie vir 10 dae na ‘n ander land toe was. Daardie 10 DAE was ‘n probleem vir my. So ‘n lang tyd en net hulle alleen. Dit was nie regtig jaloesie nie ek het nie regtig ‘n begeerte na iets in terme van plek of geselskap nie, maar dit was meer oor die tyd gespandeer met hulle dogter wat my seun nie gekry het nie. En as ‘n herinnering van hierdie vakansie het ek ‘n magneet soewenier van hierdie plek op die yskas, so elke keer wat ek iets uit die yskas wou haal het ek die vakansie gesien. En my AM het dit nie eens probeer wegsteek nie.  

I was talking to my Beloved and i told Him, how can i possibly forget all these things and how and why would i want to have restore marriage if there is so many things I have to rise up above them? He is the Best of the Best ladies!! This time He told me that I am constantly on vacation with Him. He is the Lover of my soul. He is giving me and my son something nobody can ever give. No earthly person. This satisfied me and brought perfect peace and from that time whenever i went to open the fridge, i did it with love, compassion and even smile on my face knowing that they can go anywhere in the world, they will never find what they are looking for. Peace and harmony.

Ek het met my Beminde gepraat en Hom vertel, hoe kan ek moontlik al hierdie dinge vergeet en hoekom sou ek ‘n huwelik herstel as daar so baie dinge is waar ek moet oprys bo hulle? Hy is die Beste van die Beste dames!! Hierdie keer het Hy my vertel dat ek die heel tyd met vakansie is. Hy is die liefhebber van my siel. Hy gee vir my en my seun iets wat niemand kan gee nie. Geen aardse persoon. Die het my bevredig en perfekte vrede van daardie tyd af gebring en van toe af elke keer wat ek die yskas gaan oopmaak het, het ek dit met liefde gedoen, deernis en met selfs ‘n glimlag op my gesig wetende dat hulle enige plek in die wêreld kan gaan, hulle sal nooit vind waarna hulle soek nie. Vrede en harmonie. 

Another small test came when we all, with my PIL visiting, went for a trip to the city, to a place my EH was with OW before. Again, he did not try to hide. He talked openly about places he was. So he took all of us to the same places to have a breakfast. I was sure I am eating something that OW ate. And surely enough we even stayed in the same hotel. This time i was not bothered or sad by it, but i felt so bored. Nothing was exciting for me. Even though we been there only three days my heart was longing for quiet time in the sofa only me and my real Husband. As i was going through the places, watching some shows, even though everything was fulfilling for my eyes, my heart was empty. And i was talking to Him and telling Him about it. And you know ladies what my Beloved told me? This is what all EH and OW (not only mine) experience. They are rushing from thing to thing, from show to show to find something what will make them happy, help them to forget what kind of life they have...only to find out that this kind of lifestyle is making them more unhappy.

Nog ‘n klein toets het gekom toe ons almal, met my skoonouers wat kom kuier het, vir ‘n uitstappie dorp toe gegaan het ‘n plek waar my AM en die AV voorheen was. Weer, het hy nie probeer om dit weg te steek nie. Hy het openlik gepraat oor plekke waar hy was. Toe neem hy ons almal na dieselfde plekke om ontbyt te gaan geniet. Ek was seker dat ek besig was om iets te eet wat die AV geeet het. En waarlik genoeg ons het in dieselfde hotel gebly. Hierdie keer was ek nie gepla of hartseer daaroor nie, maar ek het verveeld gevoel. Niks was opwindend vir my nie. Selfs al was ons smaar net drie dae daar het my hart verlang na stilte tyd op die rusbank met net my en my regte Man. Soos wat ek deur plekke gegaan het, vertonings gekyk het, al was alles vervullend vir my oë, maar was my hart leeg. En ek het met Hom gepraat en Hom daarvan vertel. En julle weet dames wat my Beminde my vertel het. Dit is wat alle AM en AV beleef (nie net myne nie). Hulle jaag van ding tot ding van, vertoning na vertoning om iets te vind wat hulle gelukkig gaan maak, hulle help om te vergeet watter lewe hulle lei...net om uit te vind dat hierdie soort leefstyl hulle meer ongelukkig maak.   

Through these small trials, i can see how deeply loved I really am. Because three words of my Beloved “I love you” can do instant miracle within me. Before i did not understand but now i can testify - these trials are not to harm me, these trials are to make me strong, unshakable for this world around me. But not only this. These trials are helping me to rush to the arms of the ONE where I can find everything what I so desire.

Deur hierdie klein beproewings, kon ek sien hoe diep bemin ek regtig was. Omdat die drie woorde van my Beminde “ek het jou lief” kan onmiddelike wonderwerke in my bewerk. Voorheen kon ek nie verstaan maar nou kan ek getuig - hierdie beproewings is nie om my seer te maak nie, hierdie beproewings is om my sterk te maak, onwrikbaar vir die wêreld rondom my. Maar nie net dit nie. Hierdie beproewings help my om in die ams van die EEN waar ek alles kan vind wat ek begeer te hardloop. 

~ Amalia in Poland

Are you exhibiting strength and dignity—smiling at the future?

Beeld jy sterkte en ‘n edel persoonlikheid uit—geen kommer oor die toekoms nie?

Proverbs 31:25—

Spreuke 31:25—

“Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future.”

“Alles aan haar spreek van ‘n sterk en edel persoonlikheid; sy het geen kommer oor die toekoms nie.”

If you'd like to take a huge step forward along your Restoration Journey in order to let go, take a moment to read about having a more discreet profile picture, along with your BNN, then setting up a new email address. CLICK HERE to learn more>>

As jy daarvan sou hou om ‘n groot stap vorentoe te neem op jou Herstel Reis om jou in staat te stel om te laat gaan, neem ‘n oomblik om te lees oor hoe om ‘n meer diskrete profiel foto, saam met jou BNN te hê, en dan ‘n nuwe epos adres op te stel. KLIK HIER en leer meer>>

Honestly, Do the Principles in this Lesson Really Work?

Eerlik, werk die Prinsiepe in Hierdie Les Regtig?

"Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors"— Psalm 119:24

“U verordeninge is my vreugde, hulle is my raadgewers”—Psalm 119:24

 Restored Marriage Testimony—

Herstelde Huweliks Getuienis—

The Best Thing I've Ever Done!

Die Beste Ding Wat Ek Ooit Gedoen Het!

Praise the Lord! Boy, is He the greatest! I never thought for a minute that my marriage was ever going to get better. Thanks to my Almighty Lord and Savior, He has shown me how to come to Him with my situation, “and I will help you and wipe those tears away from your face ... and replace them with smiles.”

Prys die Here! Man, is Hy die uitmuntende! Ek het nooit vir ‘n minuut gedink dat my huwelik beter sou word nie. Te danke aan my Almagtige God en Redder, het Hy my gewys hoe om na Hom toe te gaan met my situasie, “en ek sal jou help en daardie trane van jou gesig af vee … en met glimlagte vervang.”  

My husband left me six months ago for another woman. He told me he loved her and no longer loved me. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I would call my husband every day begging for him to come back to me. I even called the OW every day asking her how she could do this to my family. Let me tell you all I did was make the situation a lot worse. I thank God every day for the help of restore ministries and for my now gentle and quiet spirit!

My man het my ses maande terug gelos vir ‘n ander vrou. Hy het vir my gesê hy is lief vir haar en nie meer vir my nie. Ek was verpletter en ek het nie geweet wat om te doen of na wie om te keer nie. Ek het my man elke dag geskakel en hom gesmeek om terug te kom na my toe. Ek het selfs die AV elke dag geskakel en gevra hoekom sy dit aan my familie doen. Laat ek jou vertel al wat ek gedoen het was om die situasie erger te maak. Ek dank God elke dag vir herstel ministeries en nou vir my stil en sagmoedige gees!  

I didn’t want to let go of my husband but I had to. Yes, is caused much pain and there was the crying myself to sleep every night at first. I had to let go and give him and my situation to the Lord. So I did. I stopped calling him and begging him to come back because I realized that it only made me look weak and pathetic. I stopped calling the other woman like a fool because that only made their so-called “love" stronger. I LET GO!

Ek wou nie laat gaan van my man nie maar ek moes. Ja, dit het baie pyn veroorsaak en in die begin het ek myself elke aand aan die slaap gehuil. Ek moes laat gaan en my situsie aan die Here gee. Toe het ek. Ek het opgehou om hom te skakel en te smeek om terug te kom want ek het besef dit het my net swak en patieties maak lyk. Ek het opgehou om die ander vrou soos ‘n dwaas te skakel omdat dit net hulle sogenaamde “liefde” sterker gemaak het. EK HET LAAT GAAN! 

It was the best thing that I have ever done for so many reasons. First I found myself my own Lover, His name is Jesus and boy did that change everything. It is more than six months since my husband called and begged to move back in with me! And I allowed Him only because my new Husband said so. I give all thanks to the Lord for this (and, of course, following the principles in your books)!

Dit was die beste ding wat ek al ooit gedoen het vir so baie redes. Eerstens het ek my eie Minnaar gevind, Sy naam is Jesus en man het dit alles verander. Dit is meer as ses maande vandat ek my man laas geskakel ht en gesmeek het om terug by my in te trek! En ek het Hom toegelaat net omdat my nuwe Man so gesê het. Ek gee alle dank aan die Here hiervoor (en natuurlik, om die prinsiepe in julle boeke te volg)!

Please let go, whatever you do. Start there and keep pressing into Him. Keep your faith and focus on Him and stop being unfaithful to Him because then, all things are possible! I went from being devastated that my husband left me for another woman to being an even stronger wife to the Lord as His bride, which is what the Wise Woman is about. I give thanks to God for preparing me for my husband’s return because it wasn't easy. When he's right there it's easy to fall back into that same frame of mind. But that's exactly when he stops pursuing me and treating me well. It's when my husband treats me like the harlot I am, but not to him, but to the Lord.

Laat asseblief gaan, watookal jy doen. Begin daar en hou aan om Hom na te streef. Behou jou geloof en fokus op Hom en hou op om ontrou aan Hom te wees want dan, is alle dinge moontlik! Ek het gegaan van verpletter wees dat my man my vir ‘n ander vrou gelos het tot om selfs ‘n sterker vrou te wees aan die Here as Sy bruid, wat waaroor die Wyse Vrou gaan. Ek gee dank aan God dat Hy my vir my man se terugkoms voorberei het omdat dit nie maklik was nie. Wanneer hy daar is is dit maklik om in daardie selfde gunstige stemming te val. Maar dit is presies wanneer hy ophou om my na te sit en my goed behandel. Dit is wanneer my man my behandel soos die hoer wat ek is, maar nie aan hom nie, maar aan die Here.

Please just give it all to the Lord. Don’t give up and turn to the world's ways. Your husband WILL be back very soon if you're following these principles, so be ready. YOU will be stronger and happier than you ever imagined and you'll make room for your husband to pursue God if you've trained yourself to pursue Him and not your husband. Take care.

Gee dit asseblief alles aan die Here oor. Moet nie opgee nie en na die wêreld se wee terugkeer nie. Jou man sal gou terug wees as jy hierdie prinsiepe volg, so wees gereed. JY sal sterker wees en gelukkiger as wat jy jouself kan voorstel en jy sal plek maak vir jou man om God na te streef as jy jouself opgelei het om Hom na te streef en nie jou man nie. Neem Sorg

Carmen in Maryland, RESTORED

Caremen in Maryland, HERSTEL

 I Stopped Pursuing!

Ek het Opgehou Agternasit!

I don't know if it is the same with all women on this journey, but with me, although I was very clearly taught the principle of letting go since the first time I read the RYM book, I could not put it into practice immediately. When I first learned about all the awful truth last year's May, I used a mix of tough love principles with I don't know what else. That drew my husband farther away from me. After he went back in adulterous relationships, I tried to win him back with pursuing him even more, with my "undying unconditional love" for him, I even bought him tickets to come here to Brasil for 40 days, I practically had to beg him for that. Sure, we had a good time together those days, but at the moment he put his feet in the USA again, he started to run away from me again.

Ek weet nie of dit dieselfde is met al die vrouens op hierdie reis nie, maar met my, alhoewel ek duidelik die prinsiep van laat gaan geleer het van die eerste keer wat ek die HJH boek gelees het, kon ek dit nie  onmiddelik toepas nie. Toe ek verlede Mei die pynlike waarheid geleer het, het ek ‘n mengsel van tawwe liefde prinsiepe met weet nie wat anders gemeng nie. Dit het my man verder van my weg af weggestoot. Nadat hy terug gegaan het in owerspelige verhoudings, het ek probeer om hom terug te wen deur hom selfs meer agterna te sit, met my “onsterflike onvoorwaardelike liefde” vir hom, ek het selfs vir hom kaartjies gekoop om hier na Brazil toe te kom vir 40 dae, ek moes hom prakties smeek daarvoor. Sekerlik, ons het daardie dae ‘n goeie tyd gehad, maar die minuut wat hy weer sy voete in die VSA gesit het, het hy weer van my afweg begin hardloop.

Then one day, when he was working during a weekend and I called him, I think, 30 times, he simply ignored me. That was when the Lord told me, dear Marta, my child, come to me, and only me. I will heal you, I will be there for you. And indeed He did and is doing until now. I stopped pursuing my husband, I would only talk with him when he started to talk or ask me to talk. I spent almost all my time at home and any free time I had at work, I would spend with the Lord, being fed by His Word, having His grace and mercy and love poured out on me, and letting my husband into God's care. I even stopped praying for him! I would just tell God to use me for His will and I would be happy with whatever outcome He would decide. 

To een dag, terwyl hy op ‘n naweek gewerk het en ek hom geskakel het, ek dink, 30 keer het hy my eenvoudig ignoreer. Dit was toe dat die Here vir my sê, liewe Marta, my kind, kom na My toe en net na My toe. Ek sal jou genees, Ek sal daar wees vir jou. En inderdaad Hy was en Hy doen dit tot nou toe. Ek het opgehou om my man agterna te sit, ek het net met hom gepraaat wanneer hy begin praat het of my gevra het om te praat, ek het tyd met die Here spandeer, gevoed deur Sy Woord, en Sy guns en genade wat oor my uitgesort word, en om my man in God se hande te los. Ek het selfs opgehou om vir hom te bid! Ek het net vir God gevra om my vir Sy wil te gebruik en dat ek gelukkig sou wees met wakool die uitkoms waarop Hy besluit het. 

From that moment on, my husband's heart started to turn back to me, and it was quick! It has been 40 days now that my husband asked, I think a better word would be begged, to come back to me, and he is in a desperate need to come back home. I don't say anything about his problems there in the USA, I don't give him advice, I don't talk about the future, I let all of this in God's hands, and my husband started to make wonderful plans for the future here in Brasil. He even is considering , en hy is desperately trying to find some work here, something that he always said he would never do. So my walk with the Lord got stronger, and although now I need some balance because my husband is very demanding of my time. 

Van daardie oomblik af, het my man se hart na my toe teruggekeer, en dit was vinnig! Dit is nou 40 dae vandat my man gevra het, ek dink ‘n beter  wood om te gebruik is gesmeek het, om terug te kom na my toe . Ek sê niks oor sy probleme daar in die VSA nie, ek gee hom nie advies nie, ek praat nie oor die toekoms nie, ek los dit alles in God se hande, en my man het begin om wonderlike planne vir die teokoms hier in Brazil te maak. Hy oorweeg dit, en is desperaat besig om te probeer om werk hier te vind, iets wat hy altyd gesê het hy sou nooit doen nie. So my wandel met dieHere het sterker geword, en alhoewel ek nou balans nodig het omdat my man my tyd baie vereis.  

I am sure God will provide this too!

Ek is seker God sal dit ook voorsien!

Marta in Brazil, RESTORED

Marta in Brazil, HERSTEL

"Will I Let Go"

“Wil Ek Laat Gaan”

by: Sabrina in Georgia

Deur: Sabrina in Georgia

Will I let go of the pain, misery, and sorrow,

Sal ek laat gaan van die pyn, ellende en verdriet,

Or will I trust the Lord knowing

Of sal ek op die Here vertrou wetende

There’s hope for tomorrow?

Dat daar hoop is vir more?

Will I believe or will I keep being deceived?

Sal ek glo of sal ek bedrieg word?

Will I press on or will I just keep settling for less?

Sal ek uithou of aanhou om met minder genoeë te wees?

You see I have promises, blessings, and an abundant life

Jy sien ek het beloftes, seëninge, en ‘n oorvloedige lewe

that my Father wants to give me

Wat my Vader my wil gee

So I can’t keep focusing on my past hurts that are stopping me

So ek kan nie aanhou om op my seerkry van die verlede te fokus nie

From being where I need to be.

Van wees waar ek nodig het om te wees.

Will I let go of darkness somewhere

Sal ek êrens van die donker laat gaan 

That’s holding onto me

Wat aan my vashou

Or will I choose life

Of sal ek die lewe kies

Cuz God wants to set me free

Omdat God my wil vrylaat

Will you let go?

Sal jy laat gaan?

I will let go now Lord in my heart

Ek sal die Here nou in my hart toelaat

Now I know there’s hope for you and me.

Noudat ek weet daar is hoop vir jou en my.

QUESTION:

VRAAG:

Please explain again…must I actually stop COMPLETELY stop praying for my husband in anyway…??  It just doesn’t sound right..please help me as I am now very very confused…. 

Verduidelik asseblief weer...moet ek werklik HEELTEMAL ophou om vir my man te bid…?? Dit klink net nie reg nie..help my asseblief omdat ek nou baie baie verwar is...

Mercia in South Africa

Mercia in Suid Afrika 

ANSWER:

ANTWOORD:

"Thus says the LORD, 'Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

“So sê die Here: Daar rus ‘n vloek op die mens wat sy vertroue in mense stel, wat sy krag soek by sterflike mense en van My af wegdraai; 

“For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.

“Hy is soos ‘n kaal bossie in droë wêreld wat nooit water kry nie; ‘n bossie wat in ‘n klipwoestyn staan, in ‘n brak wêreld waar niemand woon nie

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit'"—Jeremiah 17:5-10

“Dit gaan goed met die mens wat sy vertroue in die Here stel, die mens vir wie die Here ‘n veilige vesting is; so iemand is soos ‘n boom wat by water geplant is en sy wortels na die stroom toe uitstoot, nie die hitte voel as dit kom nie en altyd groen blare het; ‘n droë jaar raak hom nie en hy hou nie op om vrugte te dra nie”’—Jeremia 17:5-10  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"—Proverbs 3:4-6 

“Vertrou volkome op die Here en moenie op jou eie insigte staatmaak nie. Ken Hom in alles wat jy doen en Hy sal jou die regte pad laat loop”— Spreuke 3:4-6

The Lord has led you to us, where we have ongoing and many fruits of restoration. No, it doesn't sound right, not the way Christians believe, but look at the fruits in the church, DIVORCE, and remarriage even more than the world.

Die Here het jou na ons toe gelei, waar ons aanhoudend en baie vrugte van herstel het. Nee, dit klink nie reg nie, nie op die manier wat Christene glo nie, maar kyk na die vrugte in die kerk, EGSKEIDING, en hertrou selfs meer as in die wêreld.

You have been unfaithful to the LORD, right? He has not been first and you not letting go of praying for your husband, which BINDS and keeps you tied to him, proves who is still first. 

Jy was ontrou aan die HERE, reg? Hy was nie eerste nie en jy het nie laat gaan om vir jou man te bid nie, wat jou BIND aan hom en jou aanhou vasgemaak hou, bewys wie nog steeds eerste is.  

“You have removed lover and friend far from me; My acquaintances are in darkness”—Psalm 88:18

“U laat my vriende en my bure ver van my af staan, die duisternis van die dood is my geselskap”—Psalm 88:18

“You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out”—Psalm 88:8

“U laat my vriende en my bure ver van my af staan, die duisternis van die dood is my geselskap”—Psalm 88:18

“She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first Husband, for it was better for me then than now!’”— Hosea 2:7

“En as sy dan haar minnaars probeer opsoek en hulle nie raakloop nie, hulle soek en nie kry nie, sal sy dalk sê: “Ek sal na my eie man toe teruggaan, want ek was by hom beter versorg as nou.”—Hosea 2:7 

"The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes"—Proverbs 21:1

“Die wil van die koning staan onder die gesag van die Here; sos ‘n stroom water lei Hy dit soos Hy verkies”—Spreuke 21:1

If you love Him, you trust Him and you don't fear what you have turned over to Him, which should have long ago been your husband.

As jy vir Hom lief is, vertrou jy Hom en jy vrees nie wat jy na Hom oorgegee het nie, wat ‘n lang tyd terug jou man moes gewees het.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love"—1 John 4:18

“Waar liefde is, is daar geen vrees nie, maar volmaakte liefde verdryf vrees, want vrees verwag straf, en wie nog vrees, het nie volmaakte liefde nie”—1 Johannes 4:1

The Message Bible says it this way:

Die Boodskap Bybel sê dit op hierdie manier:

"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment, fear of rejection—is one not yet fully formed and has experienced His love"—1 John 4:18 

“God is liefde. As daar dus liefde uit jou lewe straal, vertel dit hoe naby jy aan God leef. So bereik die liefdevolle God sy doel met ons: ons kan die oordeelsdag met vrymoedigheid, sonder om bang te wees, tegemoetstap. In hierdie wêreld is ons situasie immers pesies dieselfde as Jesus sin. Waar daar liefde heers, is daar nie plek vir vrees nie, veral nie vrees vir God se finale oordeel nie. Ware egte liefde verdryf eenvoudig alle vrees. Iemand wat dus nog sulke vrees in hom ronddra, se lewe is nog nie deurdrenk met God se liefde nie. En hoekom nie? Want vrees is net heeltyd bekommerd oor die straf wat kan kom”—1 Johannes 4:18

To continue to pray for your lover, your earthly husband, means you are not only unfaithful to the Lord, who took your husband away and turned his heart from you, but to continue to do so means you are double-minded.

Om voort te gaan om vir jou beminde, jou aardse man te bid, beteken nie net dat jy ontrou aan die Here is nie, wat jou man weggevat het en sy hart van jou af gedraai het nie, maar om voort te gaan om dit te doen beteken dat jy besluitloos is.

“But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways”—James 1:6–8. 

“Maar ‘n mens moet gelowig bid en nie twyfel nie, want iemand wat twyfel, is soos ‘n brander in die see wat deur die wind aangejaag en heen en weer gedryf word. So ‘n mens wat altyd aan die twyfel is en onbestendig is in al sy doen en late, moet nie dink dat Hy iets van die Here sal ontvang nie”—Jakobus 1:6-8

“I hate those who are double-minded, but I love Your law” —Psalm 119:113

“Ek haat huigelary, maar u wet het ek lief”—Psalm 119:113

Women who keep praying, keep their husbands in their heart.

Vrouens wat aanhou bid, hou hulle mans in hulle harte.

PRAISE Restored Marriage after She Let Go!!

LOF Herstelde Huwelik nadat Sy laat Gaan het!!

RESTORATION

HERSTEL

Overcoming by the

Oorkom deur die

Word of Their Testimony

Woord van Hulle Getuienis

"Restoration in Progress"

“Herstel in Vooruitgang” 

In July we got a PR that said:

In Julie het ons ‘n LV gekry wat gesê het:

My Dear Sister's, today I want to share with you something very personal and to tell the truth I struggled for several days to write this-but I felt I must share it with other women who come to this ministry, and today after reading one of the encouragers (from Connie Wednesday, 7/11/12, Daily Encourager)

My Liewe Susters, vandag wil ek iets baie persoonlik met julle deel en om die waarheid te praat dat ek vir verskeie dae gesukkel het om dit te skryf-maar ek het gevoel ek moet dit met ander vrouens deel wat na hierdie ministerie toe kom, en vandag nadat ek een van die aanmoedigers (van Connie Woensdag, 7/11/12, Daaglikse Aanmoediger) gelees het. 

I came to the understanding how important it is to share not only our progress, but also our "falls"—and how God helps us to stand back up afterwards and move along our journey.

Het ek verstaan hoe belangrik dit is om nie net ons vooruitgang te deel nie, maar ook ons “agteruitgang”—en hoe God ons help om weer op te staan daarna en aan te beweeg op ons reis. 

I hope that today's Encourager will help you understand that we cannot influence Restoration by our "fleshly" attempts. Instead, we should give EVERYTHING to God, as: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer. 29:11,12).

Ek hoop dat vandag se Aanmoediger sal jou help om te verstaan dat ons nie Herstel deur ons “vleeslike” pogings kan beinvloed nie. In plaas daarvan , moet ons ALLES vir God gee, omdat “Ek weet wat ek vir julle beplan, sê die Here: voorspoed en nie teenspoed nie; Ek wil vir julle ‘n toekoms gee, ‘n verwagting.” (Jer. 29:11,12).

It is now 8 months since my husband has left me for the OW. We were living in Moscow at that time and wanted to take our daughter to live with us (she was with my parents in Ukraine). After he left I went to live in Ukraine. 

At the very beginning when I decided to divorce my husband because he was unfaithful, God stopped me and when I did that's when I heard Him say in my heart, also He told me in my heart that He will restore my marriage. But without knowing any principles of restoration I made a lot of mistakes—I begged him to come back, wrote him 10 messages a day, cried over the telephone, then became so upset that he didn't change then I changed my tactic and told him he can forget about me and our daughter, he is not her father anymore. I even wrote to OW!! It was such a mess, both in my head and my actions.

Aan die begin toe ek besluit het dat ek ‘n egskeiding wil hê omdat hy ontrou was, het God my gekeer en toe ek dit gedoen het was dit toe ek Hom hoor in my hart sê, ook het Hy my vertel in my hart dat Hy my huwelik sal herstel. Maar sonder dat ek enige van die prinsiepe van herstel geken het het ek baie foute gemaak—ek het hom gesmeek om terug te kom, het vir hom 10 boodskapppe ‘n dag gestuur, oor die telefoon gehuil, toe so ontsteld geraak dat hy nie verander het nie toe het ek my taktiek verander en hom vertel dat hy van my en ons dogter kan vergeet, hy is nie meer haar pa nie. Ek het selfs aan die AV geskryf!! Dit was so ‘n gemors, beide in my hart en aksies.

Then, he came home at Christmas and assured me that everything will be fine, that he will be with us—but as soon as he went to Moscow he disappeared again. And again I started to call, write, even quote scriptures. Oh my!!!

Toe, kom hy Kersfees huistoe en verseker my dat alles reg sal wees, dat hy saam ons sal wees—maar so gou as wat ons Moskou toe gegaan het het hy weer verdwyn. En weer het ek begin bel, skryf, en selfs die Skrif aangehaal. O tog!!!  

It did not help of course, and only made me feel horrible.

Dit het natuurlik nie gehelp nie, en my net aaklig laat voel.

But, after I came to your ministry I changed my heart and behavior completely. The turning point for me was after I had realized (with the help of the lessons in RRR 30 day course) that I should let him go!! Yes, it was hard, but I did it completely. Right away he noticed what I did. And, the more I was using the principles, the better I felt. That's when my husband began treating me much better. After his last visit I was so happy—it looked like restoration was just here. But…

Maar, na ek na julle ministerie toe gekom het het ek my hart en gedrag heeltemal verander. Die keerpunt vir my was nadat ek besef het (met die help van die lesse in HHH 30 dag kursus) dat ek hom moet laat gaan!! Ja, dit was moeilik, maar ek het dit heeltemal gedoen. Dadelik het hy opgemerk wat ek gedoen het. En, hoe meer ek die prinsiepe gebruik het, hoe beter het ek gevoel. Dit was toe my man my baie beter begin behandel het. Na die laaste besoek was ek so gelukkig—dit het gelyk asof herstel om die draai was. Maar... 

During the last 5 months I tripped up and start thinking that I should move back to Moscow to be near him; I even wanted to take our daughter there. It looked like a very nice plan "he will be able to see us" (not live in a city 1700 km.away). So I decided to go alone and then maybe take my daughter..HOW WRONG I WAS!!! I am now 3 weeks here, living only 4 km from him and I have not see him—not a single time!! After coming here he called me twice and that was all!!!

Gedurende die laaste 5 maande het ek gestruikel en begin dink dat ek terug moet trek Moskou toe om naby aan hom te wees; ek wou selfs ons dogter soontoe neem. Dit het soos ‘n baie mooi plan gelyk “hy sal in staat wees om ons te sien” (nie in ‘n stad woon 1700. km weg nie). So ek het besluit om alleen te gaan en dan miskien my dogter te neem..HOE VERKEERD WAS EK!!! Ek is nou 3 weke hier, ek bly net 4 km van hom af en het hom nog nie gesien nie—nie een keer nie!! Nadat ek hier arriveer het het hy my twee keer geskakel en dit was al!!!

I wrote this for that women who may be thinking that they can influence their restoration somehow—but when we do the worst happens. The only way we can is being with God, being obedient to Him and letting go.

Ek het dit vir die vrouens geskryf wat dalk dink dat hulle op een of ander manier herstel kan beinvloed—maar wanneer ons dit doen gebeur die ergste. Die enigste manier wat ons dit kan doen is om saam God te wees, gehoorsaam aan Hom te wees en te laat gaan.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." (Prov.3:5) I hope my mistakes that I confessed help each of you to do what you should. Let go, don't try to make your restoration happen or you will make mistakes.

“Vertrou volkome op die Here en moenie op jou eie insigte staatmaak nie.” (Spr.3.5) Ek hoop my foute wat ek gebieg het elkeen van julle sal help om te doen wat julle moet doen. Laat gaan, moet nie probeer om herstel te maak gebeur nie of jy sal foute maak.

Glory to God this lesson was so painful—as I know God let me live through it—to help me make the right conclusions and let go completely. And ladies, I prayed a lot about it. Once I let go God blessed me here with a job, finances (my husband began paying my bills here). But I needed to try to understand that I should stay calm and stay focused on the Lord. I am the kind of person that God knows that needed to allow me to live through this mistake for my good.

Glorie aan God hierdie les was so pynlik—soos ek weet het God my daardeur laat lewe—om my te help om die regte gevolgtrekke te maak en heeltemal te laat gaan. En dames, ek het baie daaroor gebid. Die oomblik wat ek laat gaan het het God my geseën met ‘n werk, finansies (my man het begin om my rekeninge hier te betaal). Maar ek moes probeer verstaan dat ek kalm moes bly en op die Here fokus. Ek is die soort persoon  wat God weet my moes toelaat om deur hierdie fout te lewe vir my eie beswil. 

Now I am leaving and looking forward to go home to my little daughter. I realized that God will make my Restoration at His timing not mine. And ladies, our Lord DOES NOT NEED OUR HELP:) He needs us to remain faithful to Him.

Noudat ek weggaan en uitsien om huistoe te gaan na my klein dogtertjie toe. Het ek besef dat God my herstel op Sy tydsberekening laat gebeur en nie myne nie. En dames, ons Here het NIE ONS HULP NODIG NIE:) Hy benodig ons om getrou aan Hom te wees.  

 In September Vika submitted another PR:

In September het Vika nog ‘n LV ingedien.

Hello Dear Sister's.

Hello Liewe Susters

I am glad to be a member of this fellowship, and I pray for each of you who come here. I am happy that I have an opportunity to share with you what God is doing in my life!

Ek is bly om ‘n lid van hierdie gemeenskap te wees, en ek bid vir elke een van julle wat hiernatoe kom. Ek is bly om ‘n geleentheid te hê om met julle te deel wat God besig is om in my lewe te doen! 

Rude, presumptuous, always right and all-knowing is how I was for years. My behavior injured my family and my friends...I had never thought how people felt after my words to them.

Ongeskik, aanmatigend, altyd reg en alles-wetend is hoe ek vir jare was. My gedrag het my familie en vriende beseer...ek het nooit gedink oor hoe mense voel na my woorde aan hulle nie.

I could not talk about something with my mom or my father without quarreling. I interrupted them and did not want to listen to them. And not long after all this happened to me is when I finally realized that something is wrong with me. It was through this I wanted to change. It laid heavily on me. I live with my parents now, and every day I was in tension. I could not find peace. I wanted just one thing—to live alone with my daughter.. 

Ek kon nie oor iets met my ma of pa praat sonder om te redeneer nie. Ek het hulle in die rede geval en wou nie na hulle luister nie. En nie te lank na dit met my gebeur het nie is toe ek finaal besef het dat daar iets met my verkeerd is. Dit was deur dit dat ek wou verander. Dit het hewig op my gerus. Ek bly nou saam my ouers, en elke dag was ek gespanne. Ek kon nie vrede vind nie. Ek wou net een ding gehad het—om alleen saam my dogter te bly.. 

And for the first time I started to pray to God to restore my relationships with my parents. I realized that running from the problem would not help.

En vir die eerste keer het ek begin bid en God gevra om my verhoudings met my ouers te herstel. Ek het besef dat om weg te hardloop van die probleem af nie sou help nie. 

As I prayed God showed me all the pain that my words caused my mom, all those sharp words, my terrible behavior. It was a turning point. Today my relationship is different. My attitude to my family is different. There are still some problems, but I believe God will finish what He started in this and other areas of my life. I thank Him for His Word, which teaches me and directs my steps. My big desire is to be a woman of gentle and quite spirit, to reflect God and His words in my everyday life. To be the light to the world, and that is my prayer.

Soos wat ek gebid het het God my al die pyn wat my woorde my ma gekos het te wys, al daardie skerp woorde, my verskriklike gedrag. Dit was ‘n keerpunt. Vandag is my verhouding anders. My houding teenoor my familie is anders. Daar is nog steeds probleme, maar ek glo dat God sal klaar maak wat Hy begin het in hierdie en ander areas van my lewe. Ek bedank Hom vir Sy Woord, wat my onderrig en my die regte pad laat loop. My grootste begeerte is om ‘n vrou met ‘n sagmoedige en stil gees te wees, om God se woorde elke dag in my lewe te weerkaats. Om die lig aan hierdie wêreld te wees.   

If you are not right with your family, you need to get this restored first. Read and think of this verse, "Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." (De.5:16) KJV "Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king. Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward." (1Pe.2:17,18) KJV

As jy nie reg is met jou familie nie, moet jy eers herstel word. Lees en dink aan hierdie verse,  “Eer jou vader en jou moeder, soos die Here jou God jou beveel het, dan sal jy ‘n lang lewe hê en sal dit goed gaan met jou in die land wat die Here jou God vir jou gee.” (De.5:16) Afr 83 “Julle moet alle mense respekteer en julle medegelowiges liefhê. Vrees God. Eer die keiser. 

"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."

“Elke mens moet hom onderwerp aan die owerhede wat oor hom gestel is. Daar is immers geen gesag wat nie van God kom nie, en die owerhede wat daar is, is daar deur die beskikking van God. Wie hom teen gesag verset, kom dus in opstand teen die ordening van God; en wie in opstand kom, sal sy verdiende straf kry.”

(Rom.13:1, 2) KJV

(Rom. 13:1,2) Afr 83

These verses are the keys to my understanding of God's will for the relationships in family, and not only. I realized how I dishonored God by violating His principles of how I am to be with everyone, especially my parents. Now I am so happy that we serve God Who is always ready to accept and forgive. He is full of Love, He is Love Himself. Let all the glory be to Him.

Hierdie verse is die sleutels tot my verstandhouding van God se wil vir die verhoudings in my familie, en nie net dit nie. Ek het besef hoe ek God oneer het deur sy prinsiepe te skend van hoe ek met almal moet wees, spesiaal my ouers. Nou is ek so bly dat ons ‘n God dien wat altyd reg is om te aanvaar en vergewe. Hy is vol liefde, Hy is Liefde Homself. Laat al die glorie aan Hom wees. 

Finally in Mid October we received this:

Finaal in die Middel van Oktober het ons dit ontvang:

Hello Dear Sister's,

Hello Liewe Susters,

I became so happy in my God and i knew for sure that He is all I need, that i will be happy with Him no matter what. So when my husband called me the previous week and told me he was going to come see us (me and my daughter)—I was sure that he was coming to divorce me. He visited us a months ago and always comes to see us once in a 2-3 months as he lives 1700 miles away.

Ek het so bly geword en ek het verseker geweet dat Hy al is wat ek nodig het, dat ek gelukkig met Hom sal wees maak nie saak wat nie. So toe my man my die vorige week geskakel het en gesê het hy gaan ons kom sien (vir my en my dogter)—was ek seker dat hy gaan kom om van my te skei. Hy het ons maande terug besoek en kom sien ons altyd een keer in 2-3 maande omdat hy 1700 km weg bly.

I was not upset or afraid because I knew everything would be for my good. So I asked God for the only thing—to help me to stay calm and to be faithful to Him. He was all I wanted. And yes I made a plans for how i would react (according to the RMIEW principles I learned).

Ek was nie ontsteld of bang omdat ek geweet het dat alles ten goede vir my sal wees. So ek het God vir die enigste ding gevra—om my te help om kalm te bly en getrou aan Hom te wees. Hy was al wat ek wou hê. En ja ek het planne gemaak oor hoe ek sou reageer (ooreenkomstig die RMIEW prinsiepe wat ek geleer het) 

When I came from my work my husband was there waiting for me. As I entered the room he began to hug and kiss me.!!! He bought me new shoes, food, shoes for our daughter and a lot of things for the house!!! He start by saying that he thinks about us, wants us to come be with him, and on and on . . . And the biggest surprise is that we were intimate for the first time of 10 months. I was shocked!!! In a good way of course

Toe ek van die werk af terugkom was my man daar besig om vir ons te wag. Toe ek die kamer binne gaan het hy begin om my te omhels en te soen.!!! Hy het vir my nuwe skoene gekoop, kos, skoene vir ons dogter en baie goed vir die huis!!! Hy het begin deur te sê dat hy aan ons dink, dat hy wil hê ons moet saam hom wees, en so aan en so aan...En die grootste verrassing is dat ons vir die eerste keer in 10 maande intiem was. Ek was geskok!!! Op ‘n goeie manier natuurlik

And to my surprise, there was of course nothing about divorce that I was prepared for and wasn't planning to resist

En tot my verbasing, was daar niks oor egskeiding waarvoor ek voorbereid was en nie van plan om teen te staan nie 

I wrote this PR to share with each of you how great it is to let go completely and when you do how God's plans will unfold... not our plans but His—GLORY TO HIM ONLY! What this ministry keeps telling us is true, when the Lord is in His first place, everything will be given to us! I see this truth working in my life and pray that everyone of you will see it in your own life when you let go and make Him first!!!

Ek het hierdie LV geskryf om met elkeen van julle te deel hoe wonderlik dit is om heeltemal te laat gaan en wanneer jy dit doen hoe God se planne aan die lig gebring word...nie ons planne maar Syne—GLORIE AAN HOM ALLEEN! Wat hierdie ministerie aanhou om ons te vertel is waar, wanneer die Here in Sy eerste plek is, sal alles aan ons gegee word! Ek sien hierdie waarheid in my lewe werk en bid dat julle dit almal  in julle eie lewens sal sien wanneer jy laat gaan en Hom eerste maak!!!

~ Viki in the Ukraine, who is currently in our first Rebuilder’s Course.

~Viki in die Oekraine, wat huidiglik in ons eerste Herbouers Kursus is. 

 POWERFUL Promises

KRAGTIGE Beloftes

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer. 29:11,12)

“Ek weet wat Ek vir julle beplan, sê die Here: voorspoed en nie teenspoed nie; Ek wil vir julle ‘n toekoms gee, ‘n verwagting! “(Jer. 29:11,12)

Surely, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." (Isa.55:8)

“My gedagtes is nie julle gedagtes nie, en julle optrede nie soos Myne nie, sê die HERE.” (Jes.55:8) 

I wrote this for that woman who may be thinking that she can influence their restoration somehow. But the only way we can, is staying close to the Lord, being obedient to Him and to the principles of letting go and "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding"(Prov. 3:5)

Ek het dit vir ‘n vrou geskryf wat dalk mag dink dat sy haar herstel op een of ander manier kan beinvloed. Maar die enigste manier wat ons dit kan doen, is om na aan die Here te bly, gehoorsaam aan Hom en die prinsiepe van laat gaan en “Vertrou volkome op die HERE en moenie op ju eie insigte staatmaak nie”(Spr. 3:5)  

"Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him." Isaiah 30:18 NASB

“Tog is die Here gretig om julle genadig te wees en wil Hy Hom oor julle ontferm: Die Here is ‘n God wat reg laat geskied, en dit gaan goed met elkeen wat op Hom vertrou.”Jesaja 30:18 Afr 83 . 

"and our enemies will be the members of our household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:36-39

“Ja, ‘n man se huismense sal sy vyande wees. “Hy wat sy vader of moeder liewer het as vir My, is nie werd om aan My te behoort nie; hy wat sy seun of dogter liewer het as vir My, is nie werd om aan My te behoort nie. Hy wat nie sy kruis opneem en My volg nie, is nie werd om aan My te behoort nie. Hy wat sy lewe wil behou, sal dit verloor; en hy wat sy lewe ter wille van My verloor, sal dit vind.”

“...and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." —John 8:32

“...en julle sal die waarheid ken, en die waarheid sal julle vry maak.”—Johannes 8:32

Now it's time to CLICK HERE and pour out your heart to the Lord and Journal "What I Learned."

Nou is dit tyd om HIER TE KLIK en jou hart aan die Here uit te stort en te Joernaal “Wat ek Geleer het.” 

Day 1 Securing Your Success 1:
Dag 1 Beveilig Jou Sukses 1:

"Phones, Texting and Voicemail"
“Telefone, Sms en Stempos”

but first a Restored Marriage Testimony
Maar eers ‘n Herstelde Huwelik Getuienis

Husband’s Girlfriend Has Dream

Man se Meisie het ‘n Droom

One night, I awoke with a desperate feeling to pray for the OW my husband was involved with. I had been desperately seeking help for my marriage and soon after purchased and had been reading and rereading How God Will Restore Your Marriage and the workbook for women. I read how important fasting was, so due to not being able to really eat (feeling nauseous all the time) I began fasting. One night I had the greatest urge to pray the prayers in the Restore Your Marriage book over and over that night until the sun came up. Exhausted, I fell asleep for only a couple of hours until I received an angry phone call from my husband.

Een aand, het ek wakker geword met ‘n desperate gevoel om vir die AV te bid by wie my man betrokke was . Ek het desperaat hulp gesoek vir my huwelik en kort daarna het ek die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel  boek en die werkboek vir vrouens gekoop ek het ek dit oor en oor gelees. Ek het gelees hoe belangrik dit was om te vas, so omdat ek nie regtig in staat was om te eet nie (ek het heeltyd naar gevoel) het ek begin vas. Een aand het ek die grootste drang gehad om die gebede in die Herstel Jou Huwelik boek oor en oor te bid totdat die son opkom. Uitgeput, het ek vir ‘n paar ure aan die slaap geraak totdat ek ‘n verergte telefoon oproep van my man ontvang het.    

He asked why I had gotten in touch with his girlfriend! In shock I said quite honestly, “But I haven't gotten in touch with her, why do you think I would?" Of course as soon as I said it, he of course would think that. I had pursued and harassed him prior to learning how I had been destroying any hope of him caring for me again. Not saying anything more, that's when he told me that his girlfriend had come into his office that morning and told him they “were through!” And then she began mumbling something about him “lying about his wife” me! 

Hy het gevra hoekom ek met sy meisie in aanraking gekom het! Geskok het ek heel eerlik gesê, “Maar ek het nie met haar in aanraking gekom nie, hoekom sou jy dink ek sou?” Natuurlik die oomblik wat ek dit gesê het, natuurlik het hy dit gedink. Ek het hom nagevolg en bestook voordat ek geleer het hoe dat ek enige hoop dat hy weer vir my sou omgee besig was om te vernietig. Ek het niks verder gesê nie dit is toe dat hy vir my gesê het dat sy vriendin daardie oggend in die kantoor ingekom het en gesê het dat hulle “oor was!” En toe begin sy iets mompel van hom wat “oor sy vrou lieg” ek!

He had told his girlfriend that I didn’t want him anymore, which was far from the truth since I was not too quick to let him go. I sat there quietly and then he began saying more. He said his girlfriend didn’t stop with telling him off. She marched in and confessed their relationship to their boss (and it was against office policy for them to fraternize), and then she demanded to be transferred to another office or she would quit.

Hy het vir sy vriendin gesê dat ek hom nie meer wou gehad het nie, wat ver van die waarheid was aangesien ek nie te gou was om hom te laat gaan nie. Ek het stil daar gesit en toe begin hy meer sê. Hy het gesê sy vriendin het nie opgehou om hom af te sê nie. Sy het ingemars en hulle verhouding aan hulle baas beken (en dit was teen kantoor beleid vir hulle om verbroeder te raak), en toe eis sy dat sy na ‘n ander kantoor oorgeplaas word of sy sou bedank.    

I was more than shocked and it wasn't until later when I had time to think about everything that had happened, when I understood why God had not let me sleep, but to pray, and also to fast for the past 3 days, which I read was for favor. Fasting may have been partly to break whatever stronghold this woman had over my husband, and maybe for favor so my husband would tell me what was going on (like I was his friend again). But I believe the main reason was so I would say nothing at all when my husband called me. In the past I would have had plenty to say! So even if God were battling for me, I would have shot a hole in anything good He did for me with my big mouth.

Ek was meer as geskok en dit was nie tot later toe ek tyd gehad het om oor alles te dink wat gebeur het nie, dat ek verstaan het hoekom God nie toegelaat het dat ek slaap nie, maar om te bid, en ook te vas vir die afgelope 3 dae, wat ek gelees het was vir guns. Vas was gedeeltelik om die houvas wat hierdie vrou oor my man gehad het te verbreek, en ook vir guns sodat my man my sou vertel wat aangaan (asof ek weer sy vriendin was). Maar ek glo die hoof rede was sodat ek glad niks sou sê toe my man my geskakel het nie. In die verlede sou ek baie gehad het om te sê! So al het God vir my geveg, sou ek ‘n gat in enige iets goed skiet wat Hy vir my gedoen het met my groot mond.  

My husband continued to talk to me, but neither of us could understand what had happened to prompt such a rage. Finally, my husband heard the whole story from a fellow coworker. It seems that on the very night I felt such urgency to pray, my husband’s girlfriend had a vivid dream!! In the dream she said she saw me “crying because I wanted my husband back.” I wasn't crying that night, wanting my husband back. I actually was crying wanting my heavenly Husband that night! I didn't want my marriage restored any more because I only wanted Him.

My man het aangegaan om met my te praat, maar nie een van ons kon verstaan wat gebeur het om so ‘n woede teweeg te bring nie. Finaal, het my man die hele storie by ‘n mede werker gehoor. Dit lyk asof op dieselfde aand wat ek so ‘n nood gevoel het om te bid, het my man se vriendin ‘n helder droom gehad!! In die droom het sy gesê sy het  my gesien “huil omdat ek my man wou terughê.” Ek het nie daardie aand gehuil omdat ek my man wou terughê nie. Ek het eintlik daardie aand gehuil omdat ek my Hemelse man wou hê! Ek wou nie meer my huwelik herstel hê nie omdat ek net vir Hom wou gehad het.

So then, when his girlfriend woke up, she was so shaken she didn’t think she could make it to work that morning. However, when she arrived in the coffee room she cornered another woman who had worked therefore a long time and asked if she knew what I looked like. When she began to describe me, his girlfriend began to shake and cry. The description of me was exactly what she saw in her dream! (I am part Asian with pretty unusual features and with an equally unusual haircut.) That's when his girlfriend ran in and told her boss that she was totally “spooked” by the whole ordeal and wanted to get as far away from my husband as possible.

So toe, sy vriendin wakker word, was sy so geskud dat sy gedink het sy sy dit nie daardie oggend werk toe sou maak nie. Nietemin toe sy in die koffie kamer arriveer het het sy ‘n ander vrou vasgekeer wat vir ‘n lang tyd daar gewerk het en gevra of sy weet hoe ek lyk. Toe sy my begin beskryf het, het sy vriendin begin skud en huil. Die beskrywing van my was presies soos sy my in haar droom gesien het! (Ek is gedeeltelik Asiaties met nogal ongewone gelaatstrekke en met ‘n geewenaarde ongewone haarstyl.) Dit is toe dat sy vriendin ingehardloop het en vir haar baas vertel dat sy heeltemal “ bang gemaak” was deur die hele ervaring en wou so ver as moontlik wegkom van my man af.

When my husband heard everything from coworkers and his boss, it spooked him too and he shot back to God with a new and permanent “fear of the Lord.” The incident totally changed him and he has changed towards me and the children. He is a man of God, sold out to Him, when not long ago he doubted He even existed.

Toe my man alles van sy mede kollegas en baas gehoor het, het hy ook bang geraak en het hy teruggekeer na God toe met ‘n nuwe en permanente “ vrees van God.” Die insident het hom totaal verander en hy het teenoor my en die kinders verander. Hy is ‘n man van God, uitverkoop aan Hom, toe nie lank gelede hy getwyfel het dat Hy ooit bestaan het.

Thank you for everything, I pray my testimony will encourage other women as much as your ministry has encouraged me! Sorry it took so long for me to send it.

Dankie vir alles, ek bid my getuienis sal ander vrouens aanmoedig soveel as wat julle ministerie my aangemoedig het! Jammer dat dit so lank geneem het vir my om dit te stuur.

~Bunny in Mississippi, RESTORED

~Bunny in Mississippi, HERSTEL

Now for the next testimony that is so incredible I just love sharing it! 

Nou vir die volgende getuienis wat so ongelooflik is dat ek daarvan hou om dit te deel!

Near Fatal Accident Caused Husband to Come Home

Noue Noodlottige Ongeluk wat Veroorsaak het dat My Man Huistoe Kom

My husband had always been a heavy drinker and then began using drugs. My husband had lost job after job, which meant that soon I became the breadwinner of our family. Desperate for money of his own, my husband began dealing drugs. One day I simply had had enough, and told my husband we were through and told him to get out.

My man was nog altyd ‘n swaar drinker en het toe begin dwelms gebruik. My man het werk na werk verloor, wat beteken het dat ek gou die broodwinner van ons familie geword het. Desperaat vir geld van sy eie, het my man dwelms begin smokkel. Een dag het ek net eenvoudig genoeg gehad, ek het vir my man gesê dat dit verby is en vir hom gesê om te loop.  

After my husband moved out, a friend gave me the book How God Will Restore Your Marriage. After I read it through a few times, I ordered A Wise Woman workbook.

Na my man uitgetrek het, het ‘n vriendin vir my die boek Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel gegee. Nadat ek dit ‘n paar keer gelees het, het ek ‘n Wyse Vrou werkboek bestel.

After I threw my husband out EVERYONE had told me that what I had done was the “right” thing. But when I read the Scriptures in How God Will Restore Your Marriage those Bible verses said something else. I looked up every verse and could find nothing that could support what I had done. On the contrary the Bible said to win a husband without a word (and I had said plenty) and also to show him respect.  Throwing him out and belittling him is not showing any respect for him being a man and who God told me to submit to. This is far different than anything I had ever learned in all the Bible studies I went to. Even my pastor could not give me any proof for what he was telling me (tough love kind of stuff) even though I begged him for verses.

Nadat ek my man uitgegooi het het ALMAL vir my vertel dat wat ek gedoen het die “regte” ding was. Maar toe ek die Skrifleer in Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel gelees het het daardie Bybel verse iets anders gesê. Ek het elke vers nageslaan en kon niks vind wat dit wat ek gedoen het  ondersteun het nie. Inteendeel het die Bybel gesê om ‘n man sonder ‘n woord te wen (en ek het baie gesê) en ook om aan hom respek te bewys. Deur hom uit te gooi en hom te verkleineer bywys geen respek vir hom as ‘n man nie en aan wie God gesê het ek my moes onderwerp nie. Dis it verreweg verskillend van enige iets wat ek al ooit in al die Bybels studies geleeer het wat ek bygewoon het. Selfs my pastoor kon my geen bewys gee van wat hy vir my vertel het nie (tawwe liefde soort van ding) selfs al het ek hom gesmeek vir verse. 

Under a horrible heavy cloud of conviction, I knew I had to reconcile with my husband. I left the church to get closer to the Lord, and repented to my husband who told me it was through my kindness toward him, that, he said (my kindness by reading your books) he wanted to voluntarily go into a rehabilitation treatment center. I was more than in awe of how powerful the principles worked because prior to this no one could convince him that he even had a problem let alone choose to get treatment.

Onder ‘n verskriklike swaar wolk van veroordeling, het ek geweet ek moes met my man versoen. Ek het die kerk gelos om nader aan die Here te word, ek het my man om vergiffenis gevra wat my vertel het dat dit deur my goedhartigheid aan hom was, dat, hy (my goedhartigheid deur julle boeke te lees)  vrywillig na ‘n rehabilitasie behandeling senter toe wou gaan.   

Things went well for a time while he was in treatment, but soon, would you believe I stopped reading my books and slipped back into my old habits? It didn't take long before my husband began falling back into his old habits of using drugs and drinking. It makes me sick to say it, but this time it resulted in him committing adultery.

Dinge het vir ‘n tydperrk goed gegaan terwyl hy onder behandeling was, maar gou, kan jy glo het ek opgehou om my boeke te lees en teruggeglip in my ou gewoontes? Dit het nie lank geneem voordat my man teruggeglip het in sy ou gewoontes van dwelms en drank. Dit maak my siek om dit te sê, maar hierdie keer het dit veroorsaak dat hy owerspel gepleeg het. 

One day I came home to find my husband packing his bags. He was leaving me for another woman! The shock of his cold statement was more than enough for me to go running back to God, His Word and my How God Will Restore Your Marriage book, which I knew was filled with all of God’s principles I stopped following. I know too that my husband began being where i had once again turned my focus and heart toward. At first it felt so good to be so close to him again, adoring him like I used to. But then he became less interested in me, and then I began finding fault with him again and correcting him like I used to.

Een dag het het ek by die huis gekom en my man was besig om say tasse te pak. Hy was besig om my te verlaat vir ‘n ander vrou! Die skok van sy koue verklaring was meer as genoeg vir my om terug te hardloop na God toe, Sy Woord en my Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan Herstel boek, wat ek geweet het was gevul met al God se beginsels wat ek opgehou het om te volg. Ek het geweet dat my man ook begin het om te wees waar  ek eens op ‘n tyd my hart en my fokus gedraai het. In die begin het dit so goed gevoel om weer so naby hom te wees, te aanbid soos ek een op ‘n tyd gedoen het. Toe het hy minder in my begin belangstel, en het ek weer fout met hom gevind en korrigeer soos wat ek altyd gedoen het.    

It took a lot of fasting and renewing my mind and finding my true Love again to complete the change in me—but suddenly God finally moved on my behalf. One night my husband had a near fatal car accident. It shook him up so much he went running back to God and back to me and his family again. This took place over five years ago. My husband and I are happily married and my husband is also active in a local church.

Dit het baie vas en die hernu van my gedagtes geneem om my ware Liefde weer te vind om die verandering in my te voltooi—maar skielik het God finaal om my onthalwe beweeg. Een aand het my man amper ‘n noodlottige motor ongeluk gehad. Dit het hom so baie geskud dat hy weer teruggehardloop het na God en na my en sy familie. Dit het 5 jaar terug plaasgevind. My man en ek is gelukkig getroud en my man is ook aktief in ons plaaslike kerk.

~Natalie in Louisiana, RESTORED

~Natalie in Louisiana, HERSTEL

We have heard of more than one "near fatal" car accident to get the attention of a wayward husband. And many, many more testimonies of things that it took to get the women to stay faithful to HER Beloved Bridegroom too.

Ons het al gehoor van meer as een “noue noodlottige” kar ongeluk om die aandag van ‘n afgedwaalde man te kry. En baie, meer getuienisse van dinge wat dit gekos het vir die vrouens om ook getrou te bly aan HAAR geliefde bruidegom.

A Divine Appointment

’n Godsgerigte Afspraak

From Erin…

Van Erin...

One Sunday morning our pastor read some praise reports. The first one he read said, "A marriage was just restored after three years of believing and praying!"

Een Sondag oggend het ons pastoor ‘n paar lof verslae gelees. Die eerste een wat hy gelees het het gesê, “n Huwelik was herstel na drie jaar van bid en glo!”

In the altar room (where we would pray with new believers) a woman tracked me down and told me that this was the woman whom she had brought to meet me six months earlier. The night I met her was after a Wednesday night prayer meeting, and I will never forget how she had stood there crying and so horribly broken. She couldn't even speak except to say tearfully, "My husband has been gone for two and a half years living with someone else."

In die altaar kamer (waar ons saam nuwe gelowiges bid) het ‘n vrou my opgesoek en gesê dat dit die vrou was wat sy ses maande vantevore na my toe gebring het. Die aand wat ek haar ontmoet het was na ‘n Woensdag aand gebeds vergadering, en ek sal nooit vergeet hoe sy daar gestaan en huil het en so verskriklik gebroke. Sy kon nie eens praat nie behalwe om huilend te sê, “My man is vir twee en ‘n half jaar weg en bly saam iemand anders.”

That night I shared just a bit about what God can do, and made sure I said that NOTHING was impossible with God. I suggested she get the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book that was in the church bookstore. Then I remembered that I had brought a book for a woman who was supposed to meet me there that night. So since we were standing there alone (since the other woman hadn't showed up), I said, "This book must have been for you. The Lord prompted me to bring one from home. I thought it was for someone else, but I guess He wanted it for you all the time." Her tears dropped onto my hand as I held out the book to her.

Die aand het ek ‘n klein bietjie gedeel oor wat God kan doen, en het seker gemaak dat ek gesê het dat NIKS onmoontlik met God is nie. Ek het voorgestel dat sy die Hoe God Jou Huwelik Kan en Sal Herstel boek kry wat in die kerk se boekwinkel was. Toe het ek onthou dat ek ‘n boek gebring het vir ‘n vrou wat veronderstel was om my daardie aand daar te ontmoet. So aangesien ons alleen daar gestaan het (aangesien die ander vrou nie opgedaag het nie), het ek gesê, “Die boek moes vir jou gewees het. Die Here het my voorgesê om een van die huis af te bring. Ek het gedink dit was vir iemand anders, maar ek raai Hy wou dit al die tyd vir jou gehad het.” Haar trane het in my hand geval soos wat ek die boek na haar toe uitgehou het. 

Six months after, I was told this woman had been blessed with a restored marriage, another praise report was read about another restored marriage, and I turned just in time to see a woman standing only a few feet away looking at me. I recognized her — yet it was joy that covered her face this time.

Ses maande later, het iemand my vertel dat hierdie vrou met ‘n herstelde huwelik geseën was, nog ‘n lof verslag was gelees oor nog ‘n herstelde huwelik, en ek het het net betyds omgedraai om ‘n vrou te sien staan skaars ‘n paar meter van my af. Ek het haar erken — tog was dit  blydskap wat haar uit haar gesig gestraal het hierdie keer.

After the service she approached me and said she had to let me know first that the praise report of the restored marriage that day was from her ePartner! She also told me that her husband had accepted the Lord the previous Sunday, and that he had been there for both services that day (hearing messages I knew had been "perfect" for him!). She told me that she had been a part of our Restoration Fellowship (since I didn't know her name I had no idea) and she said that right after she had just gotten her Encouragement Partner, who was wonderful, her marriage was also suddenly restored!

Na die diens het sy my genader en gesê dat die eerste lof verslag van die herstelde huwelik daardie dag van haar eVenoot af was! Sy het vir my gesê dat haar man die Here die vorige Sondag aanvaar het, en dat hy daar vir albei die dienste was daardie dag (hy het boodskappe gehoor wat ek geweet het “perfek” vir hom was!). Sy het vir my gesê dat sy deel was van ons Herstel Gemeenskap (aangsien ek nie haar naam geken het nie het ek geen idee gehad nie) en sy het gesê dat reg na sy haar Aanmoedigers Venoot gekry het, wat wonderlik was, was haar huwelik skielik herstel!

That's when her husband walked up. Her face showed a slight panic, not knowing what I might say. But I simply introduced myself and told him it was nice to meet him and introduced him to my husband and my oldest son who had walked up. We all chatted a bit and then he said, "I guess we should go." As they walked off TOGETHER, she looked back over her shoulder, and her face was beaming.

Dit is toe haar man opgestap het. Haar gesig het ‘n effense paniek gewys, nie geweet wat ek dalk mag sê. Maar ek het myself eenvoudig voorgestel en vir hom gesê dit was aangenaam om hom te ontmoet en het hom aan my man en my oudste seun wat opgeloop het voor gestel. Ons het ‘n bietjie gesels en toe het hy gesê, “ek raai ons moet gaan.” Soos wat hulle SAAM geloop het, het sy oor haar skouer teruggekyk, en haar gesig het gestraal. 

GOD IS SO GOOD!!! He had two divine appointments and two restored marriages six months apart — He is never late and His plans are always perfect!!

GOD IS SO GOED!!!! Hy het twee godsgerigte afsprake en twee herstelde huwelike ses maande apart gehad — Hy is nooit laat en sy planne is altyd perfek!!

~Jodie in Missouri, RESTORED

~Jodie in Missouri, HERSTEL

How Jodie found her ePartner in her own church was due to her sowing hope. We have had "Hope Cards" for years and we used to put them into our books (this was when we warehoused and shipped our books). Jodie bought several books and put them in several libraries (public and church libraries). Her ePartner got one of these books and went online to apply. When we knew she was ready, we paired them online after seeing they went to the same church.

Hoe Jodie haar eVenoot in haar eie kerk gevind het was omdat sy hoop gesaai het. Ons het al vir jare “Hoop kaartjies” gehad en ons het hulle in ons boeke geplaas (dit was toe ons ons eie boeke gehuisves en verskeep het). Jodie het verskeie boeke gekoop en hulle in verskeie biblioteke (publieke en kerk biblioteke) geplaas. Haar eVenoot het een van hierdie boeke gekry en aanlyn gegaan om aansoek te doen. Ons het geweet dat wanneer sy gereed was, ons hulle sou saam paar siende dat hulle na dieselfde kerk toe gegaan het. 

Your Phone Rings.
Jou Telefoon Lui. 

Should you always answer it?
Behoort jy dit altyd te antwoord?

Before you were in your current marriage crisis, you would never think about purposely not answering your phone.

Voordat jy in jou huidige huweliks krisis was, sou jy nooit gedink het jy sou aspris nie jou telefoon antwoord nie.

But now things are a bit different and until you are restored, you must use wisdom by acting cautiously. "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"—1 Peter 5:8.Until you have slammed the door shut against the devourer through tithing, you need to be sober.

Maar nou is dinge ‘n bietjie anders en totdat jy herstel is, moet jy wysheid gebruik deur versigtig op te tree. “Wees nugter, wees wakker! Julle vyand, die duiwel loop rond soos ‘n brullende leeu op soek na iemand om te verslind”—1Petrus 5:8. Totdat jy die deur teen die verslinder toegeklap het deur jou tiende te gee, moet jy nugter wees.

Sober doesn't just mean "not drunk" instead the true definition is "clear thinking." It means realizing that the enemy is going to try to trip you up and send you back to where he once had you! He will steal your peace, kill your hope, and destroy any chance of a happy life if you are not watching for his schemes…

Nugter beteken nie net “nie dronk “ nie in plaas daarvan is die ware definisie “om helder te dink.” Dit beteken dat jy moet besef dat jou vyand gaan probeer om jou te laat struikel en terug te stuur na waar hy jou eens op ‘n tyd gehad het! Hy sal jou vrede steel, jou hoop doodmaak  en ‘n kans op ‘n gelukkige lewe vernietig as jy nie op die uitkyk is vir sy skemas nie...

"so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes"—2 Corinthians 2:11. 

“Die Satan moet nie die oorhand oor ons kry nie. Ons ken sy planne maar alte goed”—2 Korintiërs 2:11.

It's not that you need to protect yourself from someone else (God will surround you if you stay close to Him). You need to mg as jy protect others from you and your emotions that can easily spill out and destroy the progress you have already made!

Dit is nie dat jy jouself hoef te beskerm van iemand anders nie (God sal jou omring as jy naby aan Hom bly). Jy moet ander van jou en jou emosies beskerm wat maklik kan uitlek en die vordering wat jy alreeds gemaak het vernietig!

That's why we want to talk to you about not answering your phone. Instead of answering your phone, begin to use the voice message system more often, since almost ALL of us have voice mail on our cell phones. Just be sure you keep it CLEANED out of any OLD messages (there is nothing more frustrating that promotes anger, than when it says that there is no more room in voice mail). Also be very careful you don't abuse not answering—using it as a way of  manipulating or playing games. God searches your heart and He is the one who will turn hearts towards or against you. (Look up Psalm 88:8 and 88:18 and also Proverb 21:1 in your Bible.)

Dit is hoekom ons met jou wil praat oor nie jou telefoon te beantwoord nie. In plaas daarvan om jou telefoon te antwoord, begin dit as ‘n antwoord masjien meer dikwels te gebruik, aangesien amper ALMAL van ons stempos op ons selfone het. Maak net seker om dit SKOON te hou van enige OU boodskappe (daar is niks meer frustrerend wat toorn bevorder, dat wanneer dit sê daar is nie meer plek op die stempos nie). Ook wees baie versigtig dat jy dit mishandel deur nie te antwoord nie—of om dit te gebruik as ‘n manier om te manipuleer of speletjies te speel nie. God deursoek die hart en Hy is die een wat die hart na jou toe of teen jou sal draai. (Kyk Psalm 88:8 en 88:18 en ook Spreuke 21:1 op in jou Bybel.)   

 

BEGIN BY:

BEGIN BY:

1. Making a new and very simple message. There is no need to ask anyone to "leave their name, number and when they called" because that's all built in. And if your message is short, then it won't irritate people as easily.

1. Maak ‘n nuwe en baie eenvoudige boodskap. Daar is geen rede om enige iemand te vra om hulle “ naam, nommer en wanneer hulle geskakel het” te los nie omdat dit ingebou is. En as jou boodskap kort is, dan sal dit mense nie so maklik irriteer nie.

I simply have "Hi, this is Erin, leave me a message!" I don't say when I will get back or any more than this. Another benefit is that the beep to leave a message will happen sooner.

Ek het eenvoudig ‘n “Hi, dit is Erin, los ‘n boodskap!” ek sê nie wanneer ek terug sal wees of meer as dit nie. Nog ‘n voordeel is dat die biep baie gouer sal gebeur.

Your message should also have a "light" and happy tone to your voice. Some people sound angry, or too *business-like and this sets the mood. So keep doing it over and over again until it sounds like someone who is filled with joy!

Jou boodskap moet ook ‘n “ligte” en gelukkige toon aan jou stem hê. Sommige mense klink kwaad, of te veel soos  *besigheid en dit stel die stemming. So hou aan om dit oor en oor te doen totdat dit klink soos iemand wat vol vreugde gevul is!  

If, of course, you are using your phone for business, please make your message according to what you need.

Indien, natuurlik, jy jou telefoon gebruik vir besigheid, maak asseblief seker dat jou boodskap volgens jou benodighede is.

2. When your phone rings, if you see the caller is someone whom you are concerned could potentially cause issues in your restoration, simply let your newly made voice mail answer it.

2. Wanneer jou telefoon lui, as jy sien dat die oproeper iemand is oor wie jy besorg is wat potensiaal kwessies in jou herstel kan veroorsaak, laat jou nuut gevonde stempos dit beantwoord.

3. Then, call out to GOD and ask Him to help steady you for what the person might be calling about.

3. Dan, roep uit na GOD toe en vra Hom om jou te help steun oor dit waaroor die persoon dalk mag skakel.

4. Very often people simply say WHO it is and "Call me back," which doesn't always help, but it will still give you time to quote these very POWERFUL verses that helped me during my restoration.

4. Baie dikwels sê mense eenvoudig WIE dit is en “Skakel my terug,” wat nie altyd help nie, maar dit sal jou nog steeds tyd gee om hierdie KRAGTIGE verse te siteer wat my gedurende my restorasie gehelp het.

I "will not fear evil tidings; [my] heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD"—Psalm 112:7.

“Vir slegte tyding is hy nie bevrees ne, hy is gerus, hy vertrou op die Here”— Psalm 112:7.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?"—Psalm 27:1

“Die HERE is my lig en my redder, vir wie sou ek bang wees?”—Psalm 27:1

5. And before you call back, get to a place where you will not be distracted. Then to prepare yourself even more, repeat this verse, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"—Proverbs 15:1

5. En voordat jy terug skakel, kom by ‘n plek waar jy nie afgelei sal wees nie. Dan om jouself selfs meer voor te berei, herhaal hierdie vers, “‘n Sagte antwoord laat woede bedaar; ‘n krenkende woord laat woede ontvlam”—Spreuke 15:1

6. While the person is speaking, LISTEN. Proverbs 18:13 says, "He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him."Don't interrupt, take time to think before speaking, then think about this,"Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent"—Proverbs 17:28.

6. LUISTER, terwyl die persoon praat. Spreuke 18:13 sê, “Wie antwoord voor hy die vraag gehoor het, is dwaas en kom in die skande.” Moet nie onderbreek nie, neem tyd om te dink voor jy praat, dink dan hieroor, “As ‘n dwaas nie praat nie, kan selfs hy aangesien word vir ‘n wyse, en as hy sy mond toehou, vir ‘n verstandige mens”—Spreuke 17:28.

Learn to say things like, "Wow, I don't know what to say." Though most people who are angry will try their best to get you to say more, even going so far as to say you are making them angry by not saying anything or even for not fighting, the truth is this:

Leer om dinge te sê soos, “Wow, ek weet nie eens wat om te sê nie.” Alhoewel meeste mense wat kwaad is sal hulle bes probeer om jou te kry om meer te sê, en selfs so vêr gaan om te sê jy maak hulle kwaad deur niks te sê nie of selfs om nie te baklei nie, die waarheid is dit:  

Who you want to please, always and forever, is the Lord, who promises: "When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him"—Proverbs 16:7.

Wie wil jy behaag, vir ewig en altyd, is die Here, wat belowe: “As die Here teverede is met ‘n mens se lewe, laat Hy selfs so ‘n mens se vyande in vrede met hom lewe”—Spreuke 16:7.

And something else, if you do choose to say something, almost ALWAYS, you will see it causes tempers to flair! Why?  "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down. Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife"—Proverbs 26:19-21.

En nog iets, as jy kies om iets te sê, amper ALTYD sal jy sien dit veroorsaak humeure om op te vlam! Hoekom? “Sonder hout bly ‘n vuur nie brand nie; sonder ‘n kwaadstoker hou ‘n rusie nie aan nie. Daar is houtskool nodig vir gloeiende kole, hout vir ‘n vuur, en ‘n twissiek mens vir rusie stook” Spreuke 26:19-21. 

Where it says "no whisperer" means not telling anyone what was said. Not only will it get back to someone else who will use it against you, but God is listening, and again, you want to please your heavenly Husband now, right?

Waar dit sê “geen kwaadstoker” beteken om nie vir enige iemand te vertel wat gesê was nie. Nie net alleenlik sal dit terugkom by iemand anders wat dit teen jou sal hou nie, maar God luister, en weer, jy wil jou Hemelse Man nou behaag, reg?

Too Complicated??

Te Ingewikkeld??

If this seems like a lot to have to think about, a wonderful way to respond and be able to respond immediately is to send a quick TEXT saying simply "Got your message, in the middle of something, will call you back as soon as I am free."

As dit lyk na baie om oor te dink, ‘n wonderlke manier om te reageer en om onmiddelik te reageer is om ‘n vinnige SMS te stuur en eenvoudig te sê “Het jou boodskap gekry, in die middel van iets, sal jou later terug skakel sodra ek vry is.”

Basically, you are (hopefully) in the middle of speaking to the Lord to get HIS answers. And what you need to be free from is fear or any other EMOTION associated with what the person is saying.

Basies, is jy  (hopelik) in die middel van om met die Here te praat om SY antwoorde te kry. En waarvan jy vry moet wees is vrees of enige ander EMOSIE wat verband houmet wat daardie persoon besig is om te sê.

 

You just got…

Jy het nou net ...

 

an email

‘n epos gekry

a text or

‘n sms of

a voicemail

stempos

 

Emails, a text and a voice message can either move you forward in your restoration, or send you back to the starting line!

Epos, sms en stempos kan jou eerder vorentoe laat beweeg in jou herstel, of jou terug stuur na die begin streep! 

First, if you stop sending emails, texting and leaving a voicemail, you will soon stop getting them yourself. And when you do, be careful to skim over things (especially things from the OW or if you hear or read things your husband has sent in anger). It's easier to keep your heart pure and full of forgiveness if you have nothing to forgive.  

Eerstens, as jy ophou om eposse te stuur, te sms en ‘n stempos te los, sal jy hulle self gou ophou kry. En wanneer dit gebeur, wees versigtig om dinge deur tekyk (spesiaal dinge van die AV of as jy dinge hoor of lees wat jou man in woede gestuur het). Dit is makliker om jou hart rein en vol vergiffenis te hou as jy niks het om te vergewe nie.   

No matter how careful you are, we all get them—those emails from your husband, ex or the OW or a lot of people who are simply asking you something a bit too personal.

Maak nie saak hoe versigtig jy is nie, ons kry hulle almal—daardie eposse van jou man, eks of die AV of baie mense wat jou eenvoudig iets ‘n bietjie te persoonlik vra.

But guess what?

Maar raai wat?

We don't need to answer and should NEVER answer them right away.

Ons het nie nodig om te antwoord nie en moet NOOIT dadelik antwoord nie.

 "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things"—Proverbs 15:28.

“‘n Regverdige mens dink voor hy antwoord; goddelose mense sê net slegte dinge”—Spreuke 15:28.

Every day this past week we read women who wrote in their forms with so much REGRET because they said things that destroyed their progress. Why did this happen? Why did they, why do you fall into the same trap over and over again?

Elke dag hierdie afgelope week lees ons oor vrouens wat in hulle vorms skryf met soveel SPYT omdat hulle dinge gesê het wat hulle voorspoed vernietig het. Hoekom het dit gebeur? Hoekom het hulle, hoekom val jy in dieselfde lokval keer op keer? 

Part of the reason is that each time you trip up, it will help you understand and remember how YOU keep "failing" hopefully so that you can have compassion and realize just how difficult a time your husband is having. Your husband, more than likely, does NOT have the same relationship you have with the Lord. The Lord who has promised to help you!

Deel van die rede is dat elke keer wat jy val, sal dit jou help verstaan hoe JY aanhou “misluk” hopelik sodat jy deernis  kan hê en besef net hoe moeilik ‘n tyd jou man besig is om te hê. Jou man, heel waarskynlik, het NIE dieselfde verhouding as wat jy met die Here het nie. Die Here wat belowe het om jou te help!

So if you cannot stop, if you cannot change, then stop expecting your husband to stop whatever he has been unable to change.

So as jy nie kan ophou nie, as jy nie kan verander nie, hou dan op om te verwag dat jou man moet stop wat hy nie in staat is om te verander nie. 

If you are honestly interested in moving forward in your restoration, and you're tired of finding yourself in one crisis or regret after another. Begin to take heed to how you act, especially what you say to anyone and everyone.

As jy eerlik geinteresseerd is om vorentoe te beweeg in jou herstel, is jy moeg om jouself in een krisis of  spyt na die ander te vind. Begin om op te let hoe jy optree, spesiaal wat jy sê aan ieder en elkeen.  

Fasting helps—I know because it was the FIRST time in my entire life I was able to close my mouth and not respond to something unkind that was said to me!!

Deur te vas help—ek weet omdat dit die EERSTE keer is in my hele lewe wat ek in staat was om my mond toe te hou en nie te reageer wanneer iets onvriendelik vir my gesê was nie!!

Try following this EXERCISE before you find your situation much WORSE than it already is.

Probeer die volgende OEFENING voordat hy jouself in ‘n situasie vind wat ERGER is as dit waarin jy alreeds is.

Each and every time one of "those" emails, texts or voice mails come after you to trip you up:

Ieder en elke keer wat een van “daardie” eposse, sms of stemposse kom om jou te maak val:

1. Wait, wait, wait.

1. Wag, wag, wag.

If you are in the midst of the conversation, like texting, pause for a minute or two, then ask "Hey, something's come up, can I get back to you?" 

As jy in die middel van die gesprek is, soos sms, wag vir ‘n minuut of twee, vra dan “Hey iets het opgedaag, kan ek terugkom na jou toe?”

What's "come up" are your feelings you can't control and your tongue that is about to say something stupid. And it's not just anger that is stupid—so is pleading, asking questions or pouring out your heart. STOP NOW.

Wat “opgekom” het is jou gevoelens wat jy nie kan beheer nie en jou tong wat op die punt is om iets onnosel te sê. En dit is nie net woede wat onnosel is nie—so is pleit, of om jou hart uit te stort. HOU NOU OP.

2. Once you're off the phone, what may help is to go ahead and write your thoughts and feelings down.

2. Sodra jy van die telefoon af is, wat mag help is om voort te gaan en jou gedagtes en gevoelens neer te skryf.

HOWEVER, send whatever you write to yourself—not the other person. Do NOT put the person's email address in when writing, put your own email address in. Because if you aren't careful you may ACCIDENTALLY send something that you can't get back!! Words you can't take back.

NIETEMIN, stuur watookal jy skryf na jouself toe—nie die ander persoon nie. MOET NIE die persoon se epos adres insit wanneer jy skryf nie. Want as jy nie versigtig is nie mag jy PER ONGELUK iets stuur wat jy nie kan terugkry nie!! Woorde wat jy nie kan terug neem nie.

Instead, you can put the name of who you "think" you might be sending your email to in the Subject. This again is to prevent you from ACCIDENTALLY sending it.

In plaas daarvan, kan jy die naam van wie jy “dink” jy dalk jou epos toe stuur in die Onderwerp. Dit weer is om te voorkom dat jy dit PER ONGELUK stuur.

3. Go ahead, type how you feel, what you'd like to say. Share your feelings with whoever you'd like. The feelings can be how you are HURT or ANGRY, disgusted, frustrated, or full of self-pity.

3. Gaan voort, tik hoe jy voel, waarvan jy sal hou om te sê. Deel jou gevoelens met wie ookal jy wil. Die gevoelens kan wees hoe SEERGEMAAK of KWAAD, gewalg, frustreerd, of vol selfbejammering jy is.

You may be feeling sorry for the other person or even wanting the other person to "understand" how you feel.

Jy mag jammer voel vir die ander persoon of selfs wil hê dat die ander persoon moet “verstaan” hoe jy voel.

4. End your email and THEN give those thoughts and feelings to the Lord.

4. Eindig jou epos en GEE daardie gedagtes en gevoelens aan die Here.

5. Finally, end your email with "YOUR WILL be done LORD."

5. Finaal, eindig jou epos met “U WIL geskied HERE.”

6. NOW WAIT some more!

6. WAG NOU nog meer!

7. Do NOT do anything until ALL those feelings are GONE—until you can respond the way HE LEADS you to respond, which will NOT have EMOTIONS attached to them.

7. Moet NIKS doen totdat AL daardie gevoelens WEG is nie—totdat jy kan reageer op die manier wat HY jou LEI om te reageer, wat nie EMOSIES aangeheg sal hê nie.

8. Wait some more. VERY OFTEN, during the wait GOD WILL change the situation and there will be no need to EVER send ANYTHING.

8. Wag nog meer. BAIE DIKWELS, gedurende die wag SAL GOD die situasie verander en dit sal nooit nodig wees om OOIT ENIGE IETS te stuur nie. 

9. Put your email you've sent to yourself in your DRAFTS, until, as I said "there are no emotions of any kind attached to them."

9. Plaas jou epos wat jy aan jouself gestuur het in  jou TREKSEL, totdat, soos ek gesê het “daar geen emosies van enige soort aangeheg is aan hulle nie.”

10. Finally, once your emotions are stable, 99% of the time you will NOT need to send anything at all. That's when you need to be careful to DELETE the evidence of your feelings because they are between you and the Lord!

10. Finaal, sodra jou emosies stabiel is, 99% van die tyd sal jy NIE nodig hê om enige iets te stuur nie. Dit is wanneer jy versigtig moet wees om die bewyse van jou gevoelens te VERWYDER omdat hulle tussen jou en die Here is.

*I have known about relationships that were restored, only to have a spouse find emails that should have been deleted.

*Ek weet van verhoudings wat herstel is, net om ‘n gade te kry wat eposse gevind het wat verwyder moes wees.

What?

Wat?

Yes, the enemy is not about to give up and say, "Oh, well..." once a marriage is restored. Instead, this is one of the reasons restoration takes a full Journey to complete! Once you have a miracle in your life you are a greater threat to the enemy and his goal to destroy your testimony!

Ja, die vyand gaan nie opgee en sê, “O, wel…”sodra ‘n huwelik herstel is. In plaas daarvan, is dit een van die redes wat herstel ‘n volle Reis nodig het om te voltooi! Sodra jy ‘n wonderwerk in jou lewe het is jy ‘n groter bedreiging vir die vyand en sy doelwit om jou getuienis te vernietig! 

Finally, the more you write, then later DELETE, the more you'll find you don't need to and don't want to bother writing anything at all. You will be farther along in your Restoration Journey and neither you nor anyone else will recognize the new woman you've become.

Uiteindelik, hoe meer jy skryf, en later VERWYDER, hoe meer sal jy vind dat dit nienodig is en jy nie gepla is om hoegenaamd enige iets te skryf nie. Jy sal verder op jou Herstel Reis wees en nie jy of enige iemand anders sal die nuwe vrou wat jy geword het herken nie.

Remember, the more time you hang around with the Lord, and experience the LOVE He has for you, the less things anyone says or does to you will evoke a negative response or an emotion.

Onthou, hoe meer tyd jy met die Here rondhang, en die LIEFDE wat hy vir jou het ervaar, hoe minder sal die dinge wat enige iemand sê of doen ‘n negatiewe reaksie of emosie uitlok.

Fasting Facebook

Vas Facebook

We can't end this lesson without first speaking about Facebook and other social networks. If your goal is to NEVER heal or allow your husband to heal, then remain on Facebook and keep yourself exposed. If however you want to take advantage of God's Makeover and also remain out of crisis, then FAST Facebook until you're finished going through this course.

Ons kan nie hierdie les eindig sonder om eers oor Facebook en ander sosiale netwerke te praat nie. As jou doel is om NOOIT te genees of jou man toe te laat om te genees nie, bly dan op Facebook en hou jouself ontbloot. Indien jy nietemin wil voordeel trek uit God se Doen oor en ook uit ‘n krisis wil bly, VAS dan Facebook totdat jy klaar is om deur hierdie kursus te gaan. 

And if you really want to move ahead in your Restoration Journey, once you are in the REBUILDING phase of RRR, we will then encourage you to set up a new Facebook account for the purpose of helping others. You and your ePartner will be encouraged to set up your own ministry, basically just sharing how and where you are reaching out to women in crisis by sending them to fill out the FREE Marriage Evaluation.

En as jy regtig wil voort beweeg in jou Herstel Reis, sodra jy in die HERBOU fase van die HHH is, sal ons jou aanmoedig om ‘n nuwe Facebook rekening vir die doel om ander te help op te stel. Jy en jou eVenoot sal aangemoedig word om jou eie ministerie op te stel, basies net om te deel hoe en waar jy uitreik na vrouens in krisis deur hulle te stuur om die VRY Huweliks Evaluasie in te vul.  

"Facebook has been a point of contention in our house for a while. My husband didn’t care for the fact that I spent so much time on it. Then my husband started his own page and lied about it, I found he was friends with several women. Of course, I confronted him, and I kept checking to see what he was up to. Reality was I was perpetrating a perfect front for my friends and family to see all the destruction in my life, when it was the furthest thing from the truth. By the time it was suggested to me in this lesson, I already knew it was time. It was hard at first, it had become an obsession, but it really freed up my time and has made my life more at peace. I have time to invest in my God, myself and my family. And I don’t really want to know what is going on with my husband anymore, I don't need the stress. God is working, that’s all I need to know!!

“Facebook was vir “‘n rukkie ‘n punt van twis in ons huis. My man het nie omgegee vir die feit dat ek soveel tyd daarop spandeer het nie. Toe het my man sy eie bladsy begin en daaroor gejok, ek het uitgevind dat hy vriende met verskeie vrouens was. Natuurlik, het ek hom konfrontreer, en ek het aangehou om te sien wat hy besig was om te doen. Realiteit was dat ek ‘n besig was om ‘n perfekte front voor my vriende en familie te bedryf  om al die verwoesting in my lewe te sien, wanneer dit die verste van die waarheid was. Teen die tyd wat dit aan my aanbeveel was in hierdie les, het ek alreeds geweet dit was tyd. Dit was moeilik ten eerste, dit het ‘n obsessie geword, maar dit het regtig my meer vrye tyd gegee en my lewe meer vreedsaam gemaak. Ek moet my tyd by God belê, myself en my familie. En ek wil regtig nie weet wat met my man meer aangaan nie, ek het nie die stres nodig nie. God werk, dit is al wat ek nodig het om te weet!!  

Dear Friend, I know what you are going through, but trust that God loves you and doesn't intend for us to live a fearful life .Pray for faith, and LET GO: of your husband, your Facebook, because it’s freeing and liberating. Let God carry you, He won’t fail you. It’s too exhausting, and we are to wear the world as a loose garment. Believe me, you won’t regret it…, 

Liewe Vriendin, ek weet waardeur jy gaan, maar vertrou dat God lief is vir jou en beplan nie vir ons om ‘n vreesvolle lewe te lei nie. Bid vir geloof, en LAAT GAAN: jou man, jou Facebook , omdat dit bevrydend is. Laat God jou dra, Hy sal jou nie faal nie. Dit is te uitputtend, en ons moet die wêreld soos ‘n los kledingstuk dra. Glo my, jy sal dit nie berou nie…,  

“You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf. Do not fear or dismay, the Lord is with you.” (2 Chronicles 20:17)

“Julle hoef nie te veg nie, neem net posisie in en staan en kyk na die oorwinning van die Here vir julle.” (2 Kronieke 20:17)

~ Beata in Florida

~Beata in Florida

"I have realized in the last week that God has been subtly hinting to me to get rid of my facebook account - but I didn't and then, this weekend I was shown something about my H and the OW that was completely devastating to me emotionally. Last night, after reading it on my phone I deactivated my account on my phone but not on my computer until this morning right after I read this lesson. I should have listened to God so that I never heard the information that I know now." ~Kim in California  

“Ek het hierdie laaste week besef dat die Here subtiel geskimp het vir my om van my facebook rekening ontslae te raak - maar ek het nie en toe, hierdie naweek was ek iets gewys oor my M en die AV wat my heeltemal emosioneel verwoes het. Gisteraand, nadat ek dit op my foon gelees het het ek my rekening op my foon gedeaktiveer maar nie op my rekenaar tot vanoggend direk na ek hierdie les gelees het nie. Ek moes na God geluister het sodat ek nooit die informasie sou gehoor het waarvan ek nou weet nie. 

After "letting go" of Facebook and then a month later having succumbed to going on Facebook again, I spent endless hours on it, doing the worst of all, spying on my FH and the OW. I hurt myself by the photos I saw with them at my eldest daughter’s wedding. I finally "let go " again, but this time I knew it was different. I had no desire to go on Facebook again, but instead I used my cell phone to chat to people I really had no business chatting to, opening myself up to situations I really had no business getting involved with.

Nadat ek “laat gaan” het van Facebook en dan weer ‘n maand later geswig het en weer op Facebook gegaan het, ek het eindelose ure daarop spandeer, en ergste van alles, op my VM en die AV gespioeneer. Ek het myself seergemaak deur die fotos wat ek gesien het van hulle by my oudste dogter se troue. Uiteindelik het ek weer “laat gaan”, maar hierdie keer het ek geweet dit was anders. Ek het geen behoefte gehad om weer op Facebook te gaan nie, maar in plaas daarvan het ek my selfoon gebruik om met mense te gesels met wie ek regtig geen besigheid gehad het om by betrokke te raak nie.  

So, this mornings lesson could not have come at a better time or could not have been explained to me in a better fashion. I had been having trouble with my cell phone as the battery was faulty and it meant having the phone almost permanently on charge. Obviously that isn't good for the battery, and then finally this morning the battery had become completely unusable. After reading this message I realised that it was taken away from me, because I had left my church, I was no longer on Facebook, but I was still using my cell phone. And I KNOW I was talking to people I should not be talking to and was talking about things I should not be talking about. I must admit I am somewhat relieved that it happened. This is a way that I can also stop talking, and I don't get exposed to the things I really have no business being exposed to.

So, vanoggend se les kon nie op ‘n beter tyd gekom het nie of kon nie aan my verduidelik geword het op ‘n beter manier nie. Ek het probleme met my selfoon se battery gehad wat beteken het dat die selfoon amper permanent op laai was. Natuurlik is dit nie goed vir die battery nie, en toe vanoggend het die battery totaal onklaar geraak. Nadat ek die boodskap gelees het het ek besef dat dit weggevat was van my, omdat ek die kerk verlaat het, ek was nie meer op Facebook nie, maar ek was nog steeds besig om my selfoon te gebruik. En ek WEET ek was besig om met mense te praat wat ek nie mee moes praat nie en ek was besig om oor dinge te praat wat ek nie oor moes praat nie. Ek moet erken  ek is nogal verlig dat dit gebeur het. Dit is ‘n manier wat ek ook kan ophou praat, en nie bloot gestel word aan dinge waaraan ek regtig geen besigheid het om bloot gestel te word nie. 

~Denise in South Africa

~Denise in Suid Afrika

Honestly, Do the Principles in this Lesson Really Work?

Eerlik, Werk die Beginsels in hierdie Les Regtig?

"Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors"— Psalm 119:24

“U verordeninge is my vreugde, hulle is my raadgewers”—Psalm 119:24. 

"What I Learned" ? Oh boy... this really brought a smile to me. This was an area that I really felt God assisted me in. I was extremely quick on the uptake and would simply have to have my say whether in long text, sms, e-mail or on the phone. It infuriated my ex. Over time I learnt to slow down, back off but it is an area I am still having to work on sometimes. I marvel that through God's grace I am much better at it.

“Wat ek geleer het”? O jinne...dit het my regtig maak glimlag. Dit was ‘n gebied waar ek regtig gevoel het dat God my bygestaan het. Ek was uiters vinnig in die opneem en sou eenvoudig my sê moes sê of te wel in ‘n lang sms, epos of op die telefoon. Dit het my eks woedend gemaak. Met tyd het ek geleer om verlangsaam te wees, terug te staan maar dit is ‘n gebied wat ek nog somtyd aan moet werk. Ek staan verwonderd dat deur God se genade ek baie beter is daarmee.  

I must just share how God dealt with me on this one. Before reading your books and knowing the principles I really tried to zip my lips but I had to teach him a lesson. God was amazing as always. I really felt him teaching me the principles of patience and self control. I would be so furious and type up a really nasty response and then our server would go down and the mail would not get sent. The next day when I read the mail again ready to send, it did not matter anymore and I never sent it. I would be angry and call my ex and the other woman and through only God's intervention the phone was engaged and I never got through. I felt God personally help me with this and in hindsight I would smile and say to God I know he was teaching me restraint. God really orchestrated so many scenarios so that I did not mess up so badly. So I totally get this and although I'm not where I was before I can still go through some more refining!  

Ek moet net deel hoe God met my afgehandel het oor hierdie een. Voor ek julle boeke gelees het en die beginsels geken het het ek regtig probeer om my mond toe te hou maar ek moes hom ‘n les leer. God was so ongelooflik soos altyd. Ek het regtig gevoel hoe hy my die beginsels van geduld en self beheersing leer. Ek was so woedend en het ‘n regte nare reaksie getik en dan het ons bediener afgegaan en die epos was nie gestuur nie. Die volgende dag wanneer ek die epos weer lees gereed om te stuur, het dit nie meer saak gemaak nie en ek het dit nooit gestuur nie. Dan het ek kwaad geraak en my eks en die ander vrou gebel en alleenlik deur God se ingryping was die telefoon beset en het ek nooit deurgekom nie. Ek het gevoel dat God my persoonlik met dit gehelp het en in nawete het ek geglimlag en vir God gesê dat ek weet dat Hy my beperking geleer het. God het regtig so baie scenarios orkestreer dat ek nie so sleg opgemors het nie. So ek verstaan dit heltemalen alhoewel ek nie is waar ek voorheen was nie kan ek nog steeds deur nog suiwering gaan.

~Chantal in South Africa

~Chantal in Suid Afrika

Over all I thought this lesson was so WONDERFUL!! It was definitely worth my time, and showed me how important "media" etiquette is in your restoration, how crucial it is to remain quite, agreeable, and patient when responding to emails/texts/voicemails!! 

Deur en deur was hierdie les so WONDERLIK!! Dit was definitief my tyd werd, en het my gewys hoe belangrik “”media” etiket is in jou herstel, hoe noodsaaklik dit is om stil, aangenaam, en geduldig te wees wanneer jy op eposse/sms/stemposse reageer!!

Like some of the women mentioned in their testimonies, I have really struggled with self-control when talking on the phone and even in texting. . . I am so ashamed now when I think of that, but NOW I see that really I should just speak/respond to EVERYONE the way I would want to be spoken to and that is in a kind and loving tone!

Soos sommige van die vrouens in hulle getuienisse genoem het, het ek regtig met self beheersing gesukkel wanneer ek op die telefoon praat en selfs wanneer ek sms stuur...ek kry so skaam wanneer ek daaraan dink, maar NOU sien ek dat ek regtig net met ALMAL moet praat/reageer op die manier waarmee ek gepraat wil wees en di is in ‘n goedhartige en liefdevolle toon. 

Well, I will be changing my voice mail greeting (making it shorter and more "chipper", less business like) and will definitely be more careful in screening my calls, seeking the Lord about when to answer and when to simply let it go to voice mail to check later. ~Tiffany in Texas

Wel, ek gaan my stempos groet verander (korter maak en meer “opgewonde”, minder besighdeids toon) en ek sal definitief meer versigtig wees wanneer ek my oproepe keur, die Here nastreef oor hoe om te antwoord en wanneer om eenvoudig toe te laat dat dit na stempos toe gaan om later na te gaan.  

Submitted by: Lily in Australia; My husband has Remarried, I’ve taken or am currently taking the Rebuilding Wisdom Course.

Ingedien deur: Lily in Australia; My man het weer Getrou, ek het of neem huidiglik die Herbou Wysheid Kusus. 

“God is All We Need”

“God is Al Wat Ons Nodig Het”

“May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ be blessed! He is the compassionate Father and God of all comfort. He’s the One who comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort other people who are in every kind of trouble. We offer the same comfort that we ourselves received from God. That is because we receive so much comfort through Christ in the same way that we share so many of Christ’s sufferings.” (2 Cor. 1:3-5 CEB)

“Aan God, die Vader van ons Here Jesus Christus, kom al die lof toe! Hy is die Vader wat Hom ontferm en die God wat in elke omstandigheid moed gee. In elke moeilikheid bemoedig Hy ons. Daarom kan ons ook ander bemoedig wat in allerlei moeilikhede verkeer. Ons kan hulle bemoedig met dieselfde bemoediging waarmee God ons bemoedig, want net soos daar vir ons ‘n oorvloed van lyding is ter wille van Christus, is daar ook vir ons ‘n oorvloed van bemoediging deur Christus. “ (2 Kor. 1:3-5 ) 

“Enjoy the Lord, and He will give what your heart asks.” (Ps. 37:4 CEB)

“Vind jou vreugde in die Here, en Hy sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer.” (Ps. 37:4)

Praise Lord, He is ALL we need!!

Prys Die Here, Hy is AL wat ons nodig het!!

After I let go of “wechat” and facebook last month, I was able to focus on Jesus, our Lord who is the compassionate Father and God of all comfort. I felt so released. God was able to reveal to me that He is the One who comforts us in all our trouble. I used to seek friends and pastor’s comfort and I acted like a victim. I knew I was a sinner, but I never got to the stage to really confess my sins and my wrong doing. I even boasted of myself and mislead others to fight with their husbands. In some stages, I was very judgmental toward those brothers and sisters who left the church. Then I became very judgmental toward pastors and sisters who stayed at church after I left church. All my focuses were on others and this world. So I became very self-righteousness to the stage I thought I was the only one who knew God and was following God’s way. How proud and arrogant I was! I thank God for leading me to this ministry and I thank Erin for teaching me the truth to trust God and seek God in every situation. I now ask God and praise God and pray for God’s Will be done in whatever I do.

Nadat ek laas maand van  “wechat” en facebook laat gaan het, was ek in staat om op Jesus te fokus, ons Here wat die barmhartige Vader en die God van ontferming is. Ek het so vrygestel gevoel. God was in staat om aan my te openbaar dat Hy die Een is wat Hom oor ons ontferm in al ons moeilikhied. Ek het vriende en die pastoor se barmhartigeid gesoek en het soos ‘n slagoffer opgetree. Ek het geweet ek was ‘n sondaar, maar ek het nooit by die stadium gekom om regtig oor my sondes en verkeerde optredes te bieg  nie. Ek het selfs in mysef gespog en ander gelei om met hulle mans te baklei. In sommige stadiums, was ek baie veroordelend teenoor pastore en susters wat by die kerk gebly het nadat ek die kerk verlaat het. Al my fokus was op ander en hierdie wêreld. So ek het baie self-regverdig geraak tot op ‘n stadium wat ek gedink het ek was die enigste een wat God geken het en sy wee gevolg het. Hoe trots en arogant was ek! Ek bedank God dat hy my na hierdie ministerie gelei het en ek bedank Erin dat sy my die waarheid geleer het om op God te vertrou en God in elke situasie na te streef. Nou vra en prys ek God dat sy wil sal geskied in watookal ek doen.    

Letting go of “wechat” and facebook has given me more time to learn God’s Word and be transformed to His image and to be delighted in Him. He gave what my heart asked – a full time job..  

Deur van “wechat” en facebook te laat gaan het my meer tyd gegee om God se Woord te leer en in sy beeld omskep te word en om in Hom te verheug. Hy het my gegee warvoor my hart gevra het - ‘n voltydse werk..

Letting go of “wechat and facebook has enabled me to focus on God. So I know God is all I need. I can boast that nothing in this world can overcome or control me or come against me, for God is with me. He is my Shield, my Refuge, my Comforter, my Healer, my Provider, my Maker and my Heavenly Husband. I have more than I deserve.

Deur van “wechat en facebook te laat gaan het my in staat gestel om op God te fokus. So ek weet God is al wat ek nodig het. Ek kan spog dat niks in hierdie wêreld my kan oorwin of beheer of teen my kom nie, God is met my. Hy is my Beskermer, my Trooster, my Geneeser, my Voorsiener, my Maker en my Hemelse Man. Ek het meer as wat ek verdien.

~Lily in Australia

~Lily in Australia

Now I also show up for work on Monday mornings which shouldn't be funny but it is, and I roll pretty well with the punches as I enjoy making my co-workers smile, even if at my expense. Because I've been “hidden” from the rest of the world (i.e. de-actived FB a week and a half ago) and don't go many places, my co-workers are really the only ones that see the changes.

Nou verskyn ek ook Maandae oggende by die werk wat nie snaaks behoort te wees nie maar dit is, en ek gaan net aan en geniet dit om my mede werkers te maak glimlag, self op my eie onkoste. Omdat ek van die res van die wêreld “weggesteek” was (bv. FB n week en ‘n half terug gedeaktiveer) en gaan nie na baie plekke toe nie, my mede-werkers is regtig die enigstes wat die veranderinge sien. 

I believe that as they see the changes, they are puzzled but are also complimenting me on how “fabulous” I look. I've lost 10 lbs in these past two months working out, eating healthy and not drinking alcohol. I also RADIATE because of the Lord. I don’t say this in a self-praising way, but I totally see it! I'm smiling even when everything inside me is so sad. I make it a point to "thank God" and thank Him some more by loving on someone that needs it. 

Ek glo dat soos wat hulle die veranderinge sien, dat hulle verwar is maar komplimenteer my ook oor hoe “ongelooflik” ek lyk. Ek het 4 kg in die laaste twee maande verloor deur te gym, gesond te eet en nie alkohol te drink nie. Ek STRAAL as gevolg van die Here. Ek sê dit nie op ‘n selfprys manier nie, maar ek sien dit totaal! Ek glimlag selfs wanneer alles binne my hartseer is. Ek maak ‘n punt daarvan om “God te bedank” en bedank Hom nog meer deur vir iemand lief te wees wat dit nodig het. 

~Mary in Arizona

~Mary in Arizona

Need more help to get over this difficult

Het jy meer hulp nodig om oor hierdie moeilike 

chasms along your Restoration Journey?

afgronde langs jou Herstel Reis te kom?

★★★★★ Testimonies

★★★★★ Getuienisse

CLICK HERE to read testimonies on Fasting Facebook

KLIK HIER om die getuienisse oor Faceboek te Vas te lees 

 

And if you were able to hurdle over this Milestone, #3 Fasting Facebook, be sure to help others hurdle over by submitting a Hurdles Praise Report

En as jy in staat was om oor die Mylpaal, #3 Vas Facebook, te kom seker om ander te help om daaroor te kom deur ‘n oorkom Lof Verslag in te dien.  

I promise that if you are faithful to do this EXERCISE each and EVERY time you are faced with having to deal with emails, texts, and/or voice messages, I GUARANTEE you will live a life with MORE PEACE and will see your restoration moving forward without the usual 2 steps forward, then 3 steps back!

Ek belowe dat as jy betroubaar is om hierdie OEFENING ieder en elke keer te doen wat jy met eposse, sms, en/of stempos moet afreken, WAARBORG ek jou jy sal ‘n lewe lei met MEER VREDE en sal jy jou herstel sien vorentoe beweeg sonder die gewone 2 treë vorentoe, dan 3 treë terug!  

By the Word of Their Testimony

Deur die Woord van Hulle Getuienis

To complete today's lesson, read one of our restored marriage testimonies taken from one of our By the Word of Their Testimony Series to glean the wisdom of this once hopeless marriage that has now been wonderfully restored by GOD.

Om vandag se les te voltooi, lees een van ons herstelde getuienisse wat uit ons  By the Word of Their Testimony Reeks geneem is om wysheid uit die eens op n‘ tyd hopelose huwelik wat nou wonderbaarlik deur GOD herstel is op te tel.

"Restored then Widowed"

“Herstel toe ‘n Weduwee”

“...en julle sal die waarheid ken, en die waarheid sal julle vry maak.” —Joh 8:32 

Nou is dit tyd om HIER TE KLIK en jou hart aan die Here uit te stort en te joernaal “Wat ek Geleer Het.”